I need a little mental shake-up . . .

Hi everyone. I don't post very much here, but I've been coming here for inspiration for 4 months and over 20 lost lbs, so . . .

So I just came back from a vacation where I ate whatever I wanted (and still lost a little weight, b/c I walked a lot), and it's really, really hard getting back into the swing of my diet. It doesn't make it any easier that I no longer feel really FAT - imperfect, yes, but not fat. (I'm 5'9", about 155 lbs.) Before I left, I ate almost perfectly - a healthy, balanced, carefully planned diet, and I was at the point where I didn't even really need to control myself - I wasn't even drawn to "bad" foods most of the time, and when I was, control came really easy.

Now, I don't know if this is just psychological or what - and I am a little bit depressed about a couple of silly things - but I keep craving junk. I had a slice of pizza for lunch today. And then a little Godiva dark chocolate. And I had to STOP myself, which wouldn't have happened a couple of weeks ago. And now, I want more chocolate, and I keep wanting to binge, and I'm so afraid that I'm not going to be able to resist. The other day, I caught myself eating a hunk of white bread and hardly even tasting it - eating just for the sake of EATING, which is the worst kind of thing. (I stopped.)

I'm terrified of getting totally off-track - I'm also sick with the flu right now, so I don't have the energy to go back to the gym yet (and I haven't been in 2 weeks), although I think a workout might help me mentally. I feel like I am about to completely derail and balloon back to a size 14 blob. Anyone been in this mental state? Any advice? So far, I've just been reading the forums, trying to get myself back to my former, productive psych state - I loved it so much, being in control and in sync with my body and I am terrified I'm losing it or already have lost it. I just don't want to go back to where I used to be, it was horrible.

Sorry if this sounds completely crazy - if this does make sense to anyone, please, I'll be grateful for any constructive input.

Thanks for listening, at any rate. Jeez, I feel nuts.

Thats great about your 20 lb loss and losing weight eating what you want on vacation must mean a lot of activity  on it. 

It seems you are doing well to contain your cravings.  A piece of pizza or of chocolate (and cheers to using those calories on quality godiva :D) is quite contained.  As you said, you DID stop yourself from going overboard.  Great that your aware of your temptations though. 

How about joining an ongong thread of folks you can relate to?  It can help with accountability checking back in with your day to day. 

I understand exactly what you're saying and no, you're not crazy. Just as your body had to get used to the good food, it easily got used to the bad food. It's just a matter of retraining.

The absolute worst time for me when I'm losing weight is when I start to look better. I'm down a size or two and I don't work as hard at the weight loss because of it. That's been my derailment too many times to mention.

I have read that working out while sick is actually good for you. I know you don't feel like but the endorphins that you get will make you feel better. The only concern I would have is giving the flu to other people at the gym so I'd clean the machine you use thoroughly before moving on.

Getting your body back of the sugar and fat ( and away from the cravings) is going to be hard... just as hard as when you first started your diet plan. Take in more healthy calories at first if you feel hungry. You're better off eating two extra pieces of fruit or a slice of whole wheat toast with peanut butter than having bad stuff.

You can do it!

You are doing wonderful so far with a loss of 20 lbs. This is your kick in the butt! I'm 291 lbs and i'm on my 2nd week of dieting. I have terrible headaches and am losing my craving for sugar. I use to love cake and the thought of it now makes me sick. Do you really want to have to go through that detox all over again and get your body use to healthy foods? Probably not so you know what to do. A peice of pizza once in awhile is not going to hurt too bad but if done too often will.

You did great by exercising and losing weight while on your cruise and if you can do that then you can also get back to healthy eating. I don't know about you but I am starting to feel much better only at my 2 weeks. I'm sure you have noticed a difference too.

Also you don't want to get where i'm at! Being this heavy is no party.

 

 I do the same exact thing. I'm 5'9" too, and have come down to 145 from 155 thanks to CC, but I have another 10 (ideally, 15) pounds to go. Every time I've seen a 2lb drop on the scale I've gone a little crazy and misbehaved for a while. I spent October going from 145 to 148 and back down again. Now I've managed to keep it down for a week, there's no way I'm risking it going back up again. It takes so long, and so much discipline, to get the weight off when you're already a healthy weight for your height (which you & I are) and people all over tell you you don't need to lose weight, etc. etc. and sometimes the lazy demons in your head just want to listen to those people. But don't. Listen to yourself. If you want to lose another five or ten or twenty pounds, that's up to you (unless you have an ED of course). So you're only disappointing yourself. Don't think of yourself as having fallen off the wagon, because mentally it's hard to crawl all the way back up again. The wagon just stopped at a station, there was construction on the tracks. And now, it's all fired up and ready to go.

Whew. Thanks, guys. It's so silly, but I really needed that pep talk.

Feeling (and doing) better now - munched a little dark chocolate again yesterday, but it fit into my calorie allowance, and have been pretty good today - went back to the gym (nuts! they got new ellipticals, and I am not used to them), ate a nice big salad for lunch, soy crisps and an apple for snacks, just like I did before my vacation.

It really is a mental thing more than anything else. What it really was, was that my big motivation before WAS this trip I just came back from, and although I realized a while back that I'm losing weight for other reasons as well, it had an impact on my attitude.

I'm just going to wean myself off my cravings again, just like I did before. Luckily, this time, I know what works, and I know that I CAN do it :)

Also, I have another trip at the end of January . . . this one's a cruise, so I need to be HAWT! :)

Prospectpark, I live in Bklyn too, not too far from your neighborhood :)