I've worked SO hard the last few months and have lost around 30 lbs - Yes, I look really good. I'm two pounds from that magic BMI of Healthy. I went out with some old coworkers of mine last night that I haven't seen in 6 or so weeks, and when I got there all I got was stares, then "OhMyGod do you have an eating disorder?" For crying out loud! How about a simple "wow, you look great" or even a "Dang baby, you're hot!" ;) well, that's probably wishful thinking, but anyway -
Seriously, this is not the first time comments like this have been thrown my way. I've worked dang hard for this body and if you're going to notice it, how about a positive comment?!?!? ugh. Then of course there were the comments throughout dinner about the fact I wasn't eating the fried/sugared crap they were eating. Needless to say I won't be seeing them anytime soon.
I saw a funny birthday card one time that on the outside said "next time someone asks your age..." then the inside said "ask them how much they weigh". I loved it - answer rude with rude, maybe they'll realize what they just said. So how does one respond to "omygod are you ill? what's the matter with you?" what shall I respond? "ohmygod are you?"
Ugh. Done ranting.
"No, but, oh my God, are you? Because only someone with a mental illness would be that insensitive!"
Disclaimor: This is just my opinion!
We live in a society of extremes. We want the biggest, fastest car, biggest house, best gadgets, etc etc. So when it comes to weight, there is still no difference. Much of the population is at an unhealthy weight: either underweight (models and the like) or overweight. As Americans, we have a hard time doing anything in moderation, collectively.
Since they saw you drop so much weight so quickly (congratulations, btw), they assume that you must have been doing something unhealthy to get there, especially as their own eating habits do not seem to coincide with your own. They may have justified their own weight by saying "oh, i don't want to be in that unhealthy underweight class, so I'll be overweight-- no, I'll be curvy -- instead."
They also don't seem to realize how much the "eating disorder" comment can hurt. I have grown up along side someone who suffers from anorexia and bulimia (not a good combination!) and have struggled with the same thoughts... I don't want to be anorexic, so I'd better eat more, which has caused me to be about 20 pounds heavier than I'd like, because I was "warding off" an eating disorder, in my mind.
While I think that I have found a healthy balance (and am still losing weight), not everyone recognizes the difference between balance and over-board, especially in our society.
If you are looking good and those are your friends then I would think they would understand your choice to eat healthy and maintain a healthy weight for you. I think we are getting used to everyone being fat and eating junk. I bet all your friends are on diets this week, LOL.
Don't sweat it. One of my friends has lost all her weight and at first I thought she looked fabulous. I asked her how in the world she did it and she said eating less and exercising more (wow, what an idea). Anyway she does that spin class and south beach diet. She hasn't gained back in fact she looks emaciated. Even her posture has changed for the worse, but I don't think it is related to the weight loss.
I think a great way to deal with these comments is not to be snarky, but honest. If you express yourself from a place of need, friends and colleagues might actually hear your problem.
Try this: "Gosh, I have been working hard to get down to a healthy weight, and I am proud of what I have accomplished. It hurts my feelings when you say I look sick. Do you really mean that? I don't feel sick. I feel great. I'd love to hear you say I look great, too!"
Catch 22. If they are higher, they're fatter than you. If they are lower, then clearly you don't have an eating disorder. Probably they have no clue, which also tells you something.
Congratulations, by the way.
I think that's why your friends said what they said. Maybe they assumed that you were following the trend, as so many people are.
It's still ignorant though.
(edited: losing weight the "healthy" way is uncommon nowadays)
I really want to be "snarky" (a word I have never heard before and REALLY like, will use often...:)) sometimes, but I don't have the personality to actually do it. I think of those things afterwards. My standard answer these days is no, I've just stopped eating crap and started going to the gym. Amazing how the tried and true methods work so well.
BTW, I'm headed to the gym tonight (I don't have my own scale...) and I'm praying I've lost those two lbs to hit that 25 mark!
Thanks for all the congrats and comments, guys - you're awesome.
But, I commend you on your hard work and your success in losing weight in a healthy way. You've earned it and don't let any craphead talk you down from being proud of yourself for it.
ANYWAY Congratulations! and the most important thing is what you think of yourself,most times we can't rely on anyone else-not saying you do, but you know what I mean.Most people suck!...yea I wouldn't be hanging out with those friends anymore,either.
I went out to dinner last week and ordered fajitas, knowing that most of it would be going home for the next day. I got a comment about what I wasn't eating and just kind of blew it off because the person asking isn't what I'd consider a good example of fitness. In other words, I don't take her comments to heart and basically blew off the inquiry.
Some people have no sense and don't deserve a response.
And I didn't hit that magic 25 as I was hoping yesterday. Aah, hopefully this week. I still look dang hot ;)
I've been maintaining my weight at 115 for a few months now, and I really try to monitor what I eat because first of all, I know I'll gain if I'm not careful, and second of all I used to be a binge eater. So I was measuring out a half-cup of rice and a cup of milk, and my mum said irritably, 'Why do you always have to measure everything? You're way too obsessed with all this!' And when I tried to explain, she said I don't need to worry about weight. Well, easy for her to say: she's been rail-thin her entire life with no effort at all. It's harder than that for some of us. And excuse me if I'm trying to stay at a good weight and not go back to being overweight as I used to be, or go back to binge-eating!
Some people just don't get it, but I know that I'm happy being healthy and looking good, so I'm going to do what's right for me!!
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