Some people are so RUDE!

OK, I know I've read several threads on this topic, but it's my time to rant right now - SOME PEOPLE!  Did their parents teach them to be rude and insensitive on a regular basis? 

I've worked SO hard the last few months and have lost around 30 lbs - Yes, I look really good.  I'm two pounds from that magic BMI of Healthy.  I went out with some old coworkers of mine last night that I haven't seen in 6 or so weeks, and when I got there all I got was stares, then "OhMyGod do you have an eating disorder?"  For crying out loud! How about a simple "wow, you look great" or even a "Dang baby, you're hot!" ;) well, that's probably wishful thinking, but anyway -

Seriously, this is not the first time comments like this have been thrown my way.  I've worked dang hard for this body and if you're going to notice it, how about a positive comment?!?!?  ugh.  Then of course there were the comments throughout dinner about the fact I wasn't eating the fried/sugared crap they were eating. Needless to say I won't be seeing them anytime soon.

I saw a funny birthday card one time that on the outside said "next time someone asks your age..." then the inside said "ask them how much they weigh".  I loved it - answer rude with rude, maybe they'll realize what they just said.  So how does one respond to "omygod are you ill? what's the matter with you?" what shall I respond?  "ohmygod are you?"

Ugh.  Done ranting. 

i can totally relate becasue i saw some of my friends for the first time in a month or so and i've been losing weight. they were all commenting on it and asking if i eat. in the span of two days i found out that like 5 of the closest friends ((who aren't all friends with each other)) thought i had an ED. it's actually more hurtful than anything...

I hate that! I lost a lot of weight last summer when I was on vacation for a month. I didn't even try to lose it, I was just to busy doing stuff to eat! I came back and everyone thought I had either been at a fat camp or become anorexic! I was so hurt. I had come back feeling so good about myself and ended up miserable.

double

Why are people always so quick to use the ED label too? I agree that it is extremely hurtful to have my hard work automatically slotted into the same category as a very serious mental disease! When I clearly don't even have it! Would it be appropriate for me to ask someone, "Wow you got fat! Have you been ill? Unable to exercise? Is your thyroid acting up?" Getting fat over a series of months is considered a taboo topic and no one mentions it to your face, but will say "So and so gained alot of weight" behind your back. Getting skinny requires outright accusations of ED to your face, in a loud voice, followed up with rude comments on exactly what you eat/drink the whole time you are there, and disgustingly fatty foods to be thrust upon you along with a comment of, "You can use it." I had someone try and offer me chicken skin the other day. Yes, the skin off of a chicken. Blech. I wouldnt eat it even if I was fat. I mean, who offers you skin!?! And then says its because you should eat more? I had already finished dinner and was not ravaging the chicken carcass of its skin like everyone else, so that means I am anorexic? People should just refrain from commenting at all on someone's eating habits. It's none of their business, does not affect them, and in my opinion is rude to comment upon in any circumstance. I wouldn't mind so much if someone who was genuinely wanting to lose weight came up and asked me how, its the judgemental comments people make just so that they can feel better about themselves that get to me the most I think.

be prepared from now on with a quick, put em in their place, snappy comback!  Stops ppl every time.  I'm older and have more practice at this.  I still remember being young and at a store with a brand new baby girl and a lady in town stopped to say hi and said, "what a pretty baby, I bet your husband was disappointed you didn't have a boy".  ok, so I carry grudges.  I was speechless and now would have glared and said, "how rude and mean".

Back to YOU.

practice this at home in front of a mirrow and you can get 'just' the right, raised eyebrow, with an almost sneer (but not as rude) , but give them a look up and down then with a smirk (sorry) say, "oh, maybe you just forgot what a HEALTHY person looks like".

OR:  "if you need some help or advice, and (stare at their butt), just give me a call"

AND:  when they were eating their fried food I would have said, "OMG, do you know what that is doing to your arteries"

I would have to go out with them again.........just to get MY point across.

BTW I'm assuming they were oversized friends?  And as someone posted above, "eating disorder" is a new catch phrase", altho the disorders been around a long time.

haha I always tatke: 'OMG DO YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER?!' as a compliment.

it's like: 'No...but that you. You think I'm freakishly skinny? You're so sweet!' <333

I always say, "No, I'm just not pregnant right now."

I have six kids.  Then the REALLY rude questions come... "Are you having any more?  Are you DONE yet?  Boy you've got your hands full!  Don't you know what causes that?"

Maybe I will.  I don't know if I'm done.  I know you're jealous that God picked ME, and not you.  I'd rather have FULL hands than empty ones.  And yes, I know EXACTLY what causes that and I enjoyed every minute of it.  :P

I'm not a particular fan of answering rudeness with rudeness - that's what you see on Jerry Springer, and I think it's fairly tacky.  My response when I've had questions like that has been a simple "No, actually, I've just been eating healthy food and getting exercise.  I feel absolutely fantastic!" and then turn the conversation to something they're interested in.  Their children are usually a good topic - how are the kids?  How's the family?  Let's talk about YOU.

or how about this one for size. i was in the grocery store not too long ago when a woman comes up to me in the produce section and says to me "oh look at you! when are you due?" my reply "i'm sorry m'am due for what?" she says laughing "your baby! are you having a boy or a girl?" then i realized she was serious. i said ohhh no i'm not having a baby i'm just fat thanks for the assumption.

 now personally my mom taught me that when you assume something you make an a$$ out of you and me. if only everyone was taught this!

i totally know what you mean.

my parents and sister call me "anorexic" and tell me i have an eating disorder all the time!

it's really frustrating wen they are all over weight and i'm trying to lose weight that they say stuff like that!

I think some ppl are jealous. I posted on a subject a while ago that people were telling me that I could "afford" to eat certian junk foods and that I don't need to loose weight. I am 6'1" and I weigh 195. I should weigh 165. I have lost 15lbs from my highest weight and people are telling me I should stop. I totally get how you feel.

i'm also on a diet. and i get so pissed off when people CONTINUOSLY ask me ?how is teh diet going? or ¿again only vegetables? ¿arent you tired of it? etc etc.

And here is my answer to all of those nonsense questions: ¿how do i look?

believe me they will only stared back at you :D

Most people envy you, and because they're mean they feel the need to comment all the time. Just ignore these individuals, that hurts'em the most.

To begin with, congratulations on getting to your current weight/BMI...but realize that BMI while a good rough estimate is not truly a measure of your health and weight.  There are many factors that can cause your BMI to look good or bad and could result in your having either less than ideal health or great health despite the apparent indicator.

For teenagers and young women, eating disorders have been so well publicized that people now know they exist.  This is a good thing and people who do care about you should gently make inquiries about any significant weight loss or gain to see if you have an eating disorder.  If someone is actually concerned or wants ideas on where to start for themselves, they'll ask how you did it and let you just tell your tale or if you're reluctant they'll start prying...reluctance is a sign of both being tired of the topic already or having something to hide.  No one wants to be supportive of an eating disorder...the guilt from having praised the result just wouldn't be pleasant.

For the rest of the slobs in this universe, they are simply rude and there is no excuse for such rudeness.  I think that as a general rule we are so far beyond healthy that we can no longer recognize those who are healthy.

There is no reason for you not to ask those slobs when they started studying nutrition and what their credentials are.

 

They're just jealous!

People are rude. GRR!!

I think it's just cauz they're bitter at you for being committed and losing so much weight and you felt good about it. Good job by the way! and people are like oohh she's so slim I'm jealous but they blame it on the fatc that you hve gone 'anorexic' and that is the ONLY reason people lose weight.

Well thats a bunch of CRAP.

lol. it is crap, cuz not everyone who loses weight is anorexic.

people are just really really rude!!!!  like you i always think of all my snappy comebacks afterwards, i'm too dumbfounded at the moment to say anything good!  can you imagine if you saw someone and they gained weight and you said "oh my you've gotten fat.  what's wrong?  are you depressed?  not exercising?  sick?"  omg the world would end.  but people think it's ok to say "oh my you've gotten soooo skinny. what are you anorexic?"  it's ridiculus.  people are rude about everything, it gets so frustrating.  i don't know how people were raised! 

As sad as it is.. there are a lot of people that DON'T like to see people make positive changes in their lives.. catty, I know but that is how people are. Rather than be happy for you they are angry with themselves for not being able to do the same things. Jealousy, plain and simple.  It takes a thoughtful person to be able to put aside their own feelings of failure to give positive comments to someone who has accomplished something they haven't been able to, for whatever reason.

Mary

 I have to add my pennyworth to this, generally it's not your weight that's the issue for them it's your commitment, assuming they themselves are overweight they have probably attempted more than once to lose it and clearer haven't managed, if they are slim then suddenly you have become a threat because they see you as competition. I had a co-worker say to me one day for no reason "you've got a big ass" I turned with a smile and replied in a soft voice "yeah you're probably right but it'll never be as big as your mouth"!!! shut him up a treat. For most of the time I have to say silence is golden it's a humans biggest weapon because folk don't know how to deal with it, it works for me every time. Try this out..the next time someone is rude to you stand looking them straight in the eyes and with a soft smile say nothing but don't look away it only takes a few moments before you see them starting to get uneasy, eyes darting, shifting their body, stand your ground until they either move or totally turn away and then turn a continue a normal conversation with someone else, I usually find that the person who was rude is silent for a while and when they do speak again they go out of their way to be extra nice to you.

Well done bye the way.....LOOKING HOT...HOT...HOT.

Whoo hoo! I'm really excited for you kris...good job! I realize you posted this last August but your thread pushed some buttons for me too.

It seems like people just always have to comment...no matter what it is. Too fat, too skinny, too pretty, too independent. It's human nature I guess...though you would think we would be better than this by now.

I remember the first time I moved away from home I went through a serious weight loss simply because I was eating differently. Truth be told there just wasn't food in the house. So I lost some weight, about 20 pounds. Well...I moved home like 3 months later and you would have thought I had a serious disease. My mom was instantly worried...and my other relatives made comments as well. What really hurt was one of my best friends...to this day even...thought I was anorexic. And do you know how much I weighed? 140 pounds. I looked smokin hot! I loved my body at that point in time. Needless to say, my boyfriend at the time did too.  

Then about 10 years later I did the opposite. I quit smoking and went through some major changes in my life, some good some bad. As a result I started gaining weight...about 50 pounds I'd say at the time. My family basically had an intervention...had to tell me that I needed to watch my weight, that I was getting fat. I know it was out of love that they did this, but it hurt that they felt it was necessary to remind me of something I was already well aware of. Oh really? I'm getting fat? Whoa...thanks for telling me...I had no clue!  

I guess going through this myself taught me some lessons though. I am more sensitive to people...and I don't generally make comments about someone's weight unless it's positive. Even then I'm careful because one never knows what the other person is going through. If they want to talk about their weight...they will. Otherwise it's best to just say something like..."you look good" if you notice someone has lost weight.