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sagging breasts- bf put off as well


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I've lost a lot of weight but my breasts have started sagging a lot as a result to the point my bf keeps pointing out that they look unattractive. Is surgery the only way?

I'm just 20 and feel so low.

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Original Post by shells156:

I spoke to a doctor, she told me that short of surgery, there is nothing I can do. This was also the opinion of another doctor I consulted earlier.

Feel so bad, and can't really upgrade my bf, considering I would turn off other men too.

 The only men you're going to turn off with your boobs are the A**HOLE ONES AND AREN'T WORTH YOUR TIME!

Dump the jerk, and work on your own image of yourself.  Sounds like you've been listening to insults and have started to believe them.

Your boyfriend is a jerk, but from what I've read this is a personal issue as well. If YOU are unhappy about YOUR breasts then it's up to YOU to decide whether or not going under the knife is right for YOU. With a lift there will be scars, most surgeons will do a what I beleive they call a lollipop scar (scar goes around the nipple and down hence lollipop name). So it's up to if you want a scarred perkier breast or keeping what you have and not worry about the sagging/perkiness.

There is also the implant option which (they can go through the navel and that will provid so scars on the breast) and it will "fill them back up" so to speak.

Screw the BF go with what will make you feel better about yourself.

Original Post by fenris82:

a lot of women dont know what real breasts look like because most boobs we see are faffed about with to make them look 'perfect'. we dont see each others real boobs do we? i used to feel disgusted with mine, thinking they were freakish because they werent round and pointing at the sky. look at this site: http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php

when i saw this i discovered that mine are actually not bad!

perhaps your bf hasnt seen many boobs in real life either...

Thank you for that site!

To the OP: Like everyone said, your guy's a jerk. He should be happy to gets to see them at all.

I'm 18 and have lost a lot of weight recently, not only making my chest smaller, but saggy. However, I'm not a pron star, so my boobs aren't too important to me, but you're in a relationship, which changes things.

A good bra can be nice to make them seem "perky" and what not, but no guy should be throwing insults at your boobs, even if they touch your toes. I've had to study naked people, and I have to say, men...they ain't pretty.

Sorry but your boyfriend sounds like a real jerk.  Be aware that all operations on your breasts will leave scars. There's a minor procedure that cuts around the nipple only, however it is only useful for people with smaller breasts and minimal sagging. The kind of operation that causes noticeable lift, will leave a scar running vertically down the lower half of the breast.

Honestly, I'm not sure how you can stand a guy who makes you feel low and insecure about your body like that, especially something as personal and sensitive as your womanly attributes like your breasts. Humans are never perfect, including him. How would he like it if you made comments about his penis size or its symmetry or color or texture or the size or attractiveness of his testicular sac? He wouldn't. Comments like those can seriously damage intimacy and rightly so. You should never have to feel ashamed of yourself or your body. Sharing your body and your love with him is a gift and if he doesn't appreciate it, then you might do better elsewhere. Personally, I would find that kind of criticism shattering.

And a note to the men out there: nothing makes a woman lose her sex drive faster than if she feels bad about herself, so please keep that in mind before you open your mouth to make comments about her body or compare her to anyone else. Got it?

(and yes, I am pissed off on your behalf.) 

Original Post by amayou82:

Your boyfriend is a jerk, but from what I've read this is a personal issue as well. If YOU are unhappy about YOUR breasts then it's up to YOU to decide whether or not going under the knife is right for YOU..[...] Screw the BF go with what will make you feel better about yourself.

Totally agree with what this person is saying. If you are genuinely unhappy with how you look, then sure, consider the options. I remember seeing this one woman on tv who had very saggy breasts after losing a lot of weight (they were very extreme, below her waist). She didn't like them, had surgery, and was glad she had done it. So for some people it is the right choice. However it obviously needs a lot of careful consideration about the risks and your motives. Don't do anything just for your boyfriend, because there are lots of men who would be saying how great you look with losing what weight you have, and being supportive. He on the other hand is being very insensitive talking to you like that, and you don't have to put up with it. Oh and as a side note, the woman on the tv show I mentioned had a husband who obviously adored her, after AND before the operation.

Even at 20, real breasts don't lookas perky as the media would have us think. Maybe you could maybe try getting a good, pretty, supportive bra - it might perhaps give you a confidence boost.

Edit: When I read this it sounds a bit like I'm pushing surgery - I'm definately not! It upsets me that people are made to feel so bad about their looks that they feel that a health-threatening surgical procedure is necessary. I would encourage you to embrace what you look like, realise you look good, be happy you are losing weight and getting healthy, and dump the disrespectful boyfriend. But of course it is 100% your own choice.

Original Post by shells156:

Feel so bad, and can't really upgrade my bf, considering I would turn off other men too.

This is completely NOT true!

Your self esteem is your only problem. If you let yourself believe that no one other than an **** will love you, then you will always be unhappy.. regardless of how your tits look.

Do the best with what you have.  Wear a bra whenever you're standing up, it really does help.  Get some good lotion (don't know what your skin likes) and put it on morning and night...after a shower or a quick wash.  Keep doing pushups and other pectoral exercises.

I have yet to run into man who isn't interested in breasts and whatever makes yours different or more interesting to him.  They're something that they lack, they like them no matter the shape or size, even more so when they really love you.  Of course, there are always more or less flattering positions to display them in.  Sexy lingerie generally is a good thing, lying on your back generally makes them fall off to the side, letting them hang straight down is never flattering imo although again, I've never run into a man who didn't like them.

As far as the bf goes, if he's just noticing them in that brickheaded way that some men state the obvious then give him a pass.  If he's criticizing you in other ways too or knocking down your self esteem, kick him to the curb.  Whether or not you can upgrade isn't the question, if you're better off without him be alone...it probably won't be for long unless you insist.

I'm 28. When I was 20, my bf at the time noticed one of my boobs was smaller than the other. He only said it once and it wasn't even mean when he brought it up, but you know, that still bothered me. For your bf to keep saying that to you, that is way over the line. do you ever watch VH1's "Tool Academy"? Well, either way, you should totally nominate him, bc he's a tool for sure.

Sounds like your bf is the issue here and his insecuries are being pushed onto you.  Clearly he puts you down to feel powerful.  Is he a fatty? Is he jealous that you're losing?

Anyways, since it does bother you (your boobs, not your bf's comments, persay) try weight training. You're young enough that if you start picking up some weights maybe the muscle underneath can help lift them a bit.

If you are considering surgery, do take into consideration whether you'll lose the ability to nurse children, if you hope to have them. Believe it or not, surgeons don't always point out that breast surgery can result in breasts that can't perform their primary biological function...A few years back, there was a heart-breaking story in the news about a woman whose infant was malnourished because she'd never been told (or understood?) that her breast reduction surgery meant she couldn't exclusively breastfeed.

Original Post by mperic81:

 Is he a fatty? Is he jealous that you're losing?

 

 I'm curious about that also. Some people will try to sabotage your efforts to protect their own self-esteem. This guy could be bad for your health.

Original Post by tomatotomata:

Original Post by mperic81:

 Is he a fatty? Is he jealous that you're losing?

 

 I'm curious about that also. Some people will try to sabotage your efforts to protect their own self-esteem. This guy could be bad for your health.

nope. he's fit and healthy. 

Sweetie, everyone of us has flaws.  As a mother to a ten year old girl and a woman myself, my heart aches for you.  To feel this level of loath with yourself makes a mother hurt.  You are so precious and your worth is not defined by a stupid boy's opinion.  Have you ever heard the song by Keith Urban, "Stupid Boy".  If not, go listen to it.    That is what this bf is doing to you.  He is verbally and mentally kicking you to build himself up. 

I know that breasts are a very important to us women as they do identify alot about our femininity.   If it is truly something you want to have done for yourself, then by all means pursue it.  My two cents worth for sure would be to ditch this bf and journey on without him.  He is of no value to you.  Believe me when I say that you are a valued person that deserves to be cherished. :)

I almost hate to suggest it because I think the jerk BF needs to go, but you can get bras from Victoria's Secret and similar catalogues that are cut out in the center.  Hence you don't have to remove them during intimate moments.  Perhaps one of those would help you feel better about your breasts. 

Original Post by trhawley:

Original Post by shells156:

Feel so bad, and can't really upgrade my bf, considering I would turn off other men too.

This is completely NOT true!

 Definitely not true.  I used to be super self consconcious about stretch marks on my boobs.  When I first started dating my now-hubby, I mentioned how much I hated them.  He said "Why?  If you didn't have big boobs, you wouldn't have stretch marks.  They're a badge of boob honor!"

There is a man out there who will love your breasts [and the rest of you] just the way they are.  If your BF isn't that man, keep looking!

Original Post by melodrama1:

Original Post by trhawley:

Original Post by shells156:

Feel so bad, and can't really upgrade my bf, considering I would turn off other men too.

This is completely NOT true!

 Definitely not true.  I used to be super self consconcious about stretch marks on my boobs.  When I first started dating my now-hubby, I mentioned how much I hated them.  He said "Why?  If you didn't have big boobs, you wouldn't have stretch marks.  They're a badge of boob honor!"

There is a man out there who will love your breasts [and the rest of you] just the way they are.  If your BF isn't that man, keep looking!

Triple not true! You are a valuable human being who deserves respect, consideration, kindness and love.  This boyfriend is not providing any of those things when he calls your breasts unattractive.  

 

The truth is you deserve better and there is better for you. Anyone you are in a relationship with should be celebrating your success, not suggesting there is a flaw in it.The fact of the matter is staying in a relationship with someone because you are afraid there is nothing better out there for you is no reason to stay in a relationship. 

Whatever you decide about your body it should be a decision made out of self-love, not out of fear and insecurity, and not to please another person.  

He doesn't love you.

Break up with him, learn to love yourself, and a man who can truly love you will find you.

First, tell your bf to go **** a goat. They have great breast!

Second, recite with me a great quote, and a great poem from two wonderful powerful women that are true models. I taught them to my daughter and niece.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt, 'This Is My Story,' 1937

 

 

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Original Post by fenris82:

a lot of women dont know what real breasts look like because most boobs we see are faffed about with to make them look 'perfect'. we dont see each others real boobs do we? i used to feel disgusted with mine, thinking they were freakish because they werent round and pointing at the sky. look at this site: http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php

when i saw this i discovered that mine are actually not bad!

perhaps your bf hasnt seen many boobs in real life either...

To the OP: like everyone has said, get rid of the boyfriend. You don't need some *sshole guy bringing you down.

I just looked at that site and women have really different breasts. I always figured everyone's boobs looked just like mine, just with variations in size. 

 

Thanks for sharing this website. It made me realize that I have fantastic boobs. Anyone up for a trip to a topless beach? Wink

I was looking at 007b.com and wondering how is it that guys expect women with large breasts to have perky boobs. Most of the photos there show the women with large breasts have at least a bit of sag.

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