I started to gain weight about 6 years ago after some stress and struggles in my personal life and gained over 100 lbs. I had been through so much for my age.
Guys used to compliment me all the time and flirt with me like crazy but I had a boyfriend and of course being obese that never happens anymore. I felt so beautiful and was so happy!
My boyfriend always took me for granted even though I was slim and pretty. He would compare me to other girls about how they did there hair and the clothes they wore, etc and it was like he was never satisfied with me which was hurtful. He asked me why I did not do my hair like that and just all different comparisons.
Guys used to ask my boyfriend how he was able to get such a pretty girl. He is not very handsome and is really slim but I love him for who he is and not just for his looks. No matter what, I would never stop loving him even if he changed.
He started to stop the comparisons after he found out how it hurt me. He just loved to look at other girls with all different hair color, etc.. He even looked at some girls I know that weren't even as pretty as me. Other then that our relationship was good. He stopped comparing me and treated me much better! I still felt in my heart that he felt the same way but keeping it to himself. I knew he did not want to hurt me. One time I did leave him and he called and was crying. I never had a guy to love me like that and to even cry over me so I took him back. He really started to treat me better.... Even though he probably secretly admired other girls, I was happy that he did not say anything to me about it.
The first year was very hard and we argued a lot,, then after that we started to get along soooo much better like a miracle.. We did everything together and our sex life was good. Then I got sick and lose my job, I could not work out being sick and was really stressed out. I lost my car also and everything was falling apart for me and I was extremely deppressed. I gained 100lbs after that time in under a year. Now for this past year my boyfriend and I have been very distant. We don't spend as much time together and that is my fault by the way... Also we stopped having a sexual relationship as I did not want anything and neither did he. I knew he was no longer attracted to me which hurt soooo bad but he still treated me good. He gives me kisses, pecks on the lips sometimes and hold my hands. He was just not physically attracted to me and no sex and I totally understand that. My boyfriend said he would never leave me and loved me very much and wanted me to lose weight for myself (and for us I know). I want to have kids one day so am happy to get my life back.
I live with my boyfriend but after my weight gain we started to sleep in seperate beds... Now I am getting back to normal mentally. I started to spend more time with my boyfriend, etc. He said I was like in a coma for over a year and now I am back!!!!! Well I started to feel much better and not as deppressed. I have lose 35-40 lbs but have a lot still to lose, about 80+ pounds..... I did not have energy at all and the energy came back out of no-where !!
For over a year I stopped caring as much about myself, not buying much clothes, never wearing make up nor fixing my hair nice. Well I started to care more about myself. I started buying nicer clothes and makeup and started to dress nice for my boyfriend again... This all happened like a miracle! My sexual desires came back too. I prayed for so long and God is answering my prayers. I also think that maybe some past wombs are healing and I am getting back to normal mentally which is helping me physically. I still have a lot of weight to lose and I am losing it for myself but as a bonus I have a lot to look foward to. I can look foward to a fresh start with my relationship, going to the beach, etc. That is what keeps me going losing weight.
My mind set is like it was several years back, before I stopped caring... I honestly never thought that I would get back to normal. I was very deppressed and felt like my life was over. I remember thing years and years ago thinking if I ever gained weight I wouldn't want to live. That is basically how I was acting, like I did not have a life. I cannot express how happy I am that I started to feel more revived and better and I never want to feel the way I did before ever again.
I am not sure if any of you guys have a similar situation and if that is why you started to lose the weight. ??? The DR told me one time he said it is very hard but if I really want it I can do it. Other people also told me the older you get the harder it is. For me it is different,,, yes it is hard but not really hard because my mind set is back to normal so I now have NO desire for fat-foods at all and no desire for over eating. I also have more energy... It is strange and I don't understand WHY. I am not sure if it is because the deppression is gone or what has happened differently but I am loving it. I found this website and wanted to come on here for support and to share my experiences.
I can honestly say that when I was thinner,, I never realized how hard it was to be big. I never knew what a struggle it was to move around and feeling so trapped in this shell and feeling so sick all the time. Developing Sleep apnea, and so many other illnesses and just feeling horrible. I now understand that weight gain and obesity is mostly caused by tragedy, severe deppression stress or other bad situations and now have a greater sympathy/respect for what obese people. I could never look at a large person and think that they eat all the time and are pigs because that is just not true.
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