Weight Loss
Moderators: coach_k, spoiled_candy, Mollybygolly, devilish_patsy, nycgirl


So tired of people offering me food....


Quote  |  Reply
and then I have to say no thanks....and they say why...and I say oh I am counting calories and trying to lose weight...and they just say oh ok....

I am really all about it right now... yes I have dieted before, but this time it seems different.  I want to do it now.
44 Replies (last)
yeah i hate saying no to people who offer stuff..

alot of people that i say " no thanks" to, get somewhat pissed off. like what the heck, are you too good for my food or something?

no, actually i just have a plan and your cupcake isn't included..

grr! i hear ya!
#2  
Quote  |  Reply
Your family and friends will understand. And for those few offended, you'll just have to leave them piled up with the fat you'll leave behind.

After a while, people come around and do not offer because they get clued in to your determination.
I hear what you're saying, I get that all the time...

And thinlissy, in a way, we ARE too good for whatever they're offering, and we should be proud of it.  EVERYONE is too good for that type of (junk) food.  Our bodies deserve better than grease, preservatives, and other garbage.  Not everyone realizes it, though, unfortunately.  I just hope that living by example, I can inspire others to realize their own value and make similar healthy choices.
all my coworkers are constantly chowing down on sonic, bill millers BBQ or mcdonalds. and they always ask me if i want something before they go. i say no and they know i'm counting calories. one actually said, "oh she won't want any she's going for that negative look." oh well. actually makes me feel better when i see them chowing down knowing those cals are not going into my body.
Here's a tactic if you don't want to answer questions:

Take the cupcake/chicken nugget/heart attack special, then "suddenly remember" something, cruise away and either place it back on the tray, or toss it.

I do this with my family, who would give me a VERY hard time if I told them I was counting calories.

It's somewhat dishonest, but hassle-free.
I try to turn it down with a compliment.

"It smells great, but I already ate and I'm full."

"Wow, that looks wonderful! I'm allergic to (ingredient) so I'm going to have to pass. But thank you anyway."

Sometimes a polite but firm, "No, thank you, but I appreciate the offer" is all that it takes. It's hard for others to argue with you if you don't supply a reason. If I told someone I was watching what I eat, they'd likely try to argue. If I just kindly say "no" and don't tell them why, they can't do much but accept it.
"no, actually i just have a plan and your cupcake isn't included.. "

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I usually say, "I just ate" which could be three hours ago... I love non-specific excuses. ;)
For me, I hate the smart remarks that I get from my family.  for instance my mum often says

"Oh, you are looking so gaunt, your not eating enough"

Or if I refuse a biscuit / chocolate bar at my grandmothers

"You must be on a diet.  How much do you weigh now...."

I just really hate the smart comments and smart remarks.  Its so frustrating!! Oh by the way - I do eat loads, but my face is naturally white!!!
I feel you on this one.  I'm an engineer working basically as a project coordinator at a construction site and somehow people are always bringing in biscuits, doughnuts, cookies, etc.  For a long time I couldn't resist, and I gained some weight.  Now (thanks to some POWERFUL prayer) those things rarely, if ever tempt me.  Still, though, it's like people can't understand that I don't want sausage, eggs, and biscuits in the morning, or doughnuts at the morning meeting.  They just don't seem to get it.  I've been going for 6 weeks tomorrow, and feel great!  I have lost about 11 lbs, and gained some muscle.  I know that I've lost at least an inch from my waist!   It just gets to be a hassle in our meetings when everyone else is noshing on McDonald's and looks at me strangely because I'm eating granola, or cereal bars. 

I did have one friend that made the comment that I was on this "healthy eating thing right now," but that I would crash soon "and they would find me face down in the fridge with a pile of chicken bones and Coke cans behind me."  I thought that was pretty funny!
It's funny, but then again it's not funny.  I wish people would learn to respect our healthy choices.  I'm tired of people making fun of us because of it.  What I eat is none of anyone else's business anyway.
i'm in maintenance... but i pretty much only eat healthy and i hate when people offer me food and then say "but you're thin and fit, you can afford it..." yes, i can... but i didn't get thin and fit by eating cupcakes... thanks... i usually just smile and say... "somebody else will better appreciate it if you give it to them..."
 I'm not by any means a vegetarian, but I don't  normally crave meat. I'm an all american girl when it comes to hamburgers or hotdogs. But, it seems like people are constantly trying to get me to down a steak.

I'm not a ' steak ' kinda person.  It's good. But, it doesn't do anything for me really. Everytime we eat with my husbands family, they're having steak! It's so annoying. I can't eat all of that huge chunk of meat in the first place, along with my meal. Why not? It's too much food for me. So normally, I cut mine into the right sized portion, then give the rest to my husband. Which everyone acts like is absurd. Like I have a problem because I don't want to devour the whole thing alone. Monday night.. His family wanted to eat together again. So we do. It's Steak! So this time.. Instead.. I just had a huge salad. It had all kinds of things in it. Raisins,sunflowerseeds, avocado, tomato, lettuce, carrots, cheese, ect ect.

So I was full.. But, saved just enough room for a slice of cake too.

They acted completely offended because I didn't eat their precious steak. " One steak is left over.... " " Whos is it? " " Why didn't someone eat their food?"

Me: Sorry, I didn't have any room left after the salad and cake.

I was treated like an outcast the rest of the night/ days after.



 
I think offering food is just habit for some people.  I grew up in a family that never really did that, but my husband since day one has always offered me food.

...well, "offer" isn't really the word for it.  When I turn it down, he'll ask again 5 minutes later.  Again I say "no thanks".  He must think I mean "not yet"...  -I gained about 20lbs in the first year we went out because he turned me back onto foods I had "banned" before I knew him. 

But, I turned it around about 5 years ago and realized that's just the way he is.  It's a sweet gesture, but I'm the only one who can control what I eat.  It's not his problem for offering, it's mine for caving and taking it.  So, I keep saying no.  Night after night, day after day.  Or I just take a bite so he'll leave me alone. 

Last night I asked him to pick up sandwiches for dinner, he brought be back the turkey sandwich I asked for and a HUGE 5" cookie as well.  I said "thanks", counted my calories, decided I could give in to a quarter of it, and the rest was probably his breakfast this morning LOL.

My advice would be to just take the offer as kindness on their part, come up with a polite way to decline, and move on.  I particularly liked (reply #6), jainasolo's suggestions on how to respond.
I think offering food is more than just habit - I think it's a deeply embedded ritual that goes way back to our prehistorical roots.

Every single culture has all sorts of rituals around food. For example I think it is Japan, you never discuss business until you've shared a meal together. It is impolite to turn down food. It is also impolite to fill your own glass with sake - someone else is supposed to fill your glass, then you get the clue and fill their glass in return.

Food rituals are associated with social bonding. It makes sense that coworkers would bring in sweet treats and pass them around.

Anyway I also get tired of people offering me food, but it's because I know deep down that when I turn them down, I'm being terribly rude, because it is NOT just food - it is a social ritual I'm spurning. So I am more apt to take the item and just have a bite. Or take the item, and take it home with me then chuck it out. Or suck it up and eat it and make up for it elsewhere.

But I guess I'm lucky because I telecommute so this isn't a constant problem for me. When I do travel to corporate HQ, it's infrequent enough I can just suck it up and eat what is offered. I also don't see my own family all that often. I'm more apt to be confronted with this by neighbors who send over plates of cookies to thank my DH for his help (easy enough to say thanks and then not eat any of it - or have DH take it in to his office to share), or my mother-in-law offering me candy or wine when we visit (I always figure this will happen, and plan it into my day), or parties where there will be bday cake (we had a whole series of birthdays recently and I had a small slice of cake at each of them).
WOW..I am glad I am not alone...my co-workers are all pretty understanding but there are those who just.....are not....good advide jenmcc, I can work around things that I know may happen... But 05edge...OMG, that person is just mean..I think you are doing great...and you won't crash, we all may fall a little but we won't crash...we are learning a new life style not dieting.... I think you are doing good..
I just experienced "food offering" incident a couple days ago.  My husband and I are going to a car show in another town this weekend with another couple, she called me the other day and was telling me about what kind of food/snacks they were bringing, she said some other friends were going to be doing some chicken rolled in a beer batter and then broasted~it is so yummy and then she said so I'm going to bring a potato salad, so what are you going to bring?  So I said as nicely as possible, "I guess I'm going to bring something that I can eat!!"  She wasn't happy with that remark and said "oh good god, you can eat ONE piece of chicken"!
Great...I just found out that there is going to be a small office party today and they are gonna do it in my conference room, (well it is actually my boss's conference room) you ought to see the food...  at 232 lbs I can't afford to cheat yet.  sooo right now I am eating some fruit so at 11:30 I am hoping to not be too hungry..I have my diet rite soda and I will just mingle.   I can do this...if I would have know earlier I would have planned better, but I am helping with a youth football camp tonight ( me and my husband are on the board of the football league) and I won't even go home after work and someone will be bringing food there for us to eat....it is always about food....hahahahaha
Yeah, I have three set responses for food offerings that I hope don't offend anyone (because I feel the same way as jenn above, it's ingrained in us all to be polite and generous):

1.  Firm but polite: "No thanks, but thank you SO MUCH for offering."
2.  After 12:00 pm: "Oh, I just ate lunch and am so full, but thank you SO MUCH for offering."
3.  Before noon: "Oh, I'm so sorry, but I brought my lunch today and if I don't eat it it'll go bad.  But thank you so much for . . ." you get the picture.

For birthdays, I suck it up and have a small slice of cake.  The good news is that after a while, your co-workers will understand that you don't accept food offers and will stop offering.  Usually with some smart-ass remark, like "Oh, Jenka only eats rabbit food, so she won't even want any!" which sucks but is better than having to deny food again.
Thanks kkcrawfish!  That guy is about the only person in the office that could've said that without me being offended, it's just kind of how we are.  As for people always downing those of us who are eating better, often times I think it's because they secretly wish they could do it too. 
I get the constant offers at work like so many other people have described.  I have found one upside.  If I do want to indulge a tiny little bit of something someone else is enjoying, they're always happy to oblige.  I haven't cut "junk" completely, but I only eat it now when I REALLY want it - I wait out the craving as long as I can.  Wanting fries for 10 minutes?  No!  Wanting fries for 3 days?  Well!  After dozens and dozens of "No thank yous", when I all of a sudden ask my co-worker "Can I please have four of your fries [or other unhealthy food]?", they're happy to part with them.  I get to indulge my craving, for free, without having to pay for and resist eating a full portion! 
44 Replies (last)
Advertisement
Advertisement