Weight Loss
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Weight loss after an ED ( vanity pounds)


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I am 131 ish lbs, and only 166 cm.

 

This is the heaviest I have been in my life, basically.

I want to lose to about 125 ish-  which is a BMI of 20. something.

 

Question:  I had an eating disorder in the past, a mild one - I know it that being heavier prevents against re- lapse.

 

The thing is:  I feel that I am fairly safe  from a relapse - I am the heaviest I have been, yet I am very happy, with a boyfrriend who makes me feel that the way I act determines how attractive I am, more so than merely looks.....

I am WAY mroe focused on getting my life back; getting a job, friends, saving and travelling with my boyfriend, and working on my personality. Being very thin is not something I aspire to . AT all.

I have b een at a heavy enough weight, for a long enough perido of time, for me to have lost all ED urges and compulsions ( to be thinner than is healthy for my body type).

 

HOnestly - I just want to be a slim yet healthy version of myself. For me, I have discovered that this is about 56 -57 kilos. I am slim,  yet have plenty of weight to protect agains illness -  as in, it is SLIM for my bodfy typoe, but  I have extra weight, so I could lose 5 kilos due to illness, and still be a healthy e nough weight to support my body.

 

My current weight is the result of; inactivity, over eating, overeating CHEESE ( weakness). Visually, and from my personal preference, 55 - 58 kilos is the healthiest looking weight for me.

Even at 118 lbs ( about 54 kilos), every one complimehts me, and says thast I look very fit and healthy - not too thin. HOwever, I do not want to be that thin, due to my history with an ED.

I have had no desire to relapse or starve for ages. I do not feel I have an ED mentality in the slightest.  I honestly feel it is safe for me to lose some vanity pounds.

 

IT is not only about losing  weight - I enjoy the notion of being a gym junkie - working out 5 days a week, and having a toned and healthy, active looking body. Having that body type through hard work at the gym, is the way of life that appeals to me.

 

 

I love looking slim ( my bodies version, not too thinb for what is healthyf or ME of course).................I love going out clubbing and partying, but only when I look fit. I do not like to opver eat, nto ex ercise, and then wear good clothes. 

 

 

 

QUESTION TO ALL:  because of my history, I want to know how to look out for my " healthy"  yet slim weight, that is NOT too thin for me.

 

I felt fine and slept well at 54 - 55 kilos even -   I look healthy, and I do not LOOK too thin, at that weight,  either  ( it is about 120  lbs....) HOWEVER:   just to be careful, I will aim for 56 kilos.  AS I said - it is about being  at the gym daily and having a good looking body - that mjay be 58 kilos or 57. I may attain that look at ah iogher weight than I envisioned.

 

 

ANY advice on losing a few vanity pounds, when u had an ED in the past, and want to not go to far?

 

I honestly do not feel that I will keep losing  too much weight - to be honest, I will be SO THRILLED just to be 57 kilos again -       I took it for granted when I was that slim, always thinking I should be better.

 

Where as NOW:  I have  over eaten and let myself go ( too much cheese and food, no gym), and NOW I see that women would KILL for a slim, 57 kilo figure.......     &n bsp;

 

This time around, I will be so happy with being a slim version of my body type, that I will flaunt my body and be soooooooooo happy with it, Ido not feel I will take being slim for granted again!   I will buy nice tight clothes and show it off to my boyfriend for a change.

 

I will be thrilled with just losing 2 lbs and being 57 kilos; I have NO desire to be super slim, at 54 kilos again. NO urge.  I just want to be a slim ,m yet healthy version of my body type, which is 56 ish kilos.

 

 

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE come and share your stories, on losing weight after an ED -     vanity pounds, once u were weight restored, and simply wanted to be your hottest weight ( hot in ahealthy and fit way, not a thin way).

 

 

I am not aiming to be the thinnest girl in the room - just a slim and  good looking version of my own body.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

55 Replies (last)

PLEASE SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES with weight loss after a previous ED??????

 

I feel that being 60 kilos, and losing about 4 vanity kilos, is healthy?  ( as it is still BMI about 20.5)

 

And as I stressed before - it is about looking better through exercising, as I enjoy working out regularly ( I like to look and feel good).

 

It just happens I look physically best ( but stillhealthy) while at about 56 - 58 kilos?

 

I just want to be extra careful,  due to to the fact I DID have an ED ( which seams to be very very dormant and inactive these days).a

I am trying to get others experiences, regarding losing a couple of vanity kilos, when u have a history of a mild ED.

 

I feel it is best to get feed back, as there may be cautionary tales from others who lost weight after an ED.

That doesn't seem like a good goal. Even for someone that never had an ED, going from the exact middle of the BMI range to the low end seems like a bad idea. And for someone with a history of ED, it wouldn't be worth the risk.

Why not set another goal? Like trying to improve your physical fitness while staying at the same weight.

 

#3  
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I also had an ED in high school, I had a child and now I am getting married and want to lose 10lbs. I'm 5'2 and 127. I want to be between 120 and 117. It's so hard for me to not start starving again

My goal is based on how well I know my body. I know what looks and feels on the slim side ( for my body type). Even when I am fighting fit, I just look and feel the best at the weigth I described.

 

I have very large breasts for my side, and they become unmanagable when I gain  to 130 - 128....   I also have a very, very curvy butt, and full, thick calves,  EVEN at 120 pounds, I have a very full and curvy figure.....( I have a while to go before I am in any way " too thin:" for my body type.. trust me:)

 

I have known my body well/ what feels good, what dos not feel good for a long time. I pay much more closer attention than people who have not previously had an ED.

My question was: what are your own experiences on this matter; were u able to get to your vanity weight ( within the realm of what is HEALTHY of course!),  and then STAY contented?

I found, that within my healthy range, and even at too slim weights, i was never contented; I cried to my boyfeiend at 53 kilos ( because I had previously been 52 for years). Where as NOW: I would be STOKED. THRILLED/ ELATED even.. JUST to be 57 kilos, or about 127 pounds... I would think " wow, I am so lucky to have this body and be young and fit, my hard work with fitness and diet pays off and I truly love my slim figure"

 

I found; the more I gained, the more I was content and satisfied; I thought " wow, I am a slim women, and I can still eat, I am so fortunate, women would kill for my figure".

 

The thing is' I worked for my 120 - 125 pounds figure. I ate a lot, but  went for a run almost  daily. Running was my thing, it is the ultimate toner for my body ( when combined with ab and toning for optumal results odf course!).

WHere as NOW: I ate more, and stopped running, which = weight gain. I think 127 ish pounds ( 57 ish kilos) looks slim, but it is not as low as say, 54 kilos. Considering I looked perfectly normal at 54 kilos, I do not see how 57 is dangerous.

#5  
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You're at a healthy weight. I have to agree with Solid here. Why risk it? Is it worth the heartache and misery of a recurring ED? Not that many women are naturally at a BMI of 20.

Forgive the analogy, but this seems to me a bit like an alcoholic testing his "recovery" with a tipple every few weeks.

I'd base your targets around fitness instead.

I agree with Linden and Solid. You are at a healthy weight and you really shouldn't be putting yourself at risk by trying to lose weight again. Yes, it's a healthy weight, yes you insist you do not want to get sucked into an anorexic mindset again, but you can't guarantee that. You of all people should know how powerful and debilitating an ED can be.

If you want to look slimmer and fitter, why not focus on eating to maintain, but incorporate some toning into your workout? This will change your body shape without losing weight.

Maintain this weight for at least 2-3 years, then you can attempt it. Typically you can be weight-restored, does not mean you are better mentally. 

I remember you used to struggle bad with ED, thoughts and all, please do not throw yourself to that again. Like walking out of a den of wolves and saying 'Hmn, that is over, I think I'll walk through that cage of black bears now'

THanks so much for the feedback:)

 

I know I do not NEED to lose weight, for health; I am a perfectly healthy weight. I am not losing it for health - I am losing it for vanity....

58 kilos, based onmy body type and my experiences with diet and exercise - is not too thini for my body type by any means.....   I do not see how losing only 2 kilos ( 4 pounds)  would put me in significant danger of any health ailments, or mental problems?

 

I had a problem before, in that I took my body weight for gr anted; I NEVER thought I was big, however; I never felt that greatful to be slim. DId not FLAUNT my body or wear  cute clothes often when out partying.

 

NOw, in retrospect; I can see that, while I did lose all desire to ever restrict ( I have not restricted in so long, nor remotely thought about it) I DID never feel satisfied with  my weight.

The difference NOW, is that since I have massively over eaten and stopped eercising, I havwe reached a weight where I did not know what I had untikl it was GONE;  I went past the point where I was at my best looking/ but my slim and healthy version of it.

 

For instance; at 120 lbs or less, I LOOKED healthy, ( down to about 117), but there were signs that mentally, I was depreived.....

 

From 120 onwards, I felt fine, mentally, and any symtoms of ED went away; I was just never that heavy in years, hence did not even realize that I had a banging hot body. I was ungreatful for being young and slim.

 

NOW; I have gone 20 lbs up; from 111 up until 130. I am the heaviest I have ever been, I have only ever ben this weight through over  eating as a teen. ( gross over eating).

 

I now see where I felt and looked my best. It was only about 2 - 3 pounds lighter. I cannot see myself losing more and more weight - I just have not had the remotest desire, revolving around wanting to be too thin.

 

I like being slim, yet a healthy version of slim.....          I do not see how 57 ish kilos is " too thin" for me?     It was always my set point before ED.....

But yes, I am aware of the risks of losing any weight. I just feel that I am so far removed from any urge to  be unhealthily thin; I very much have learnt what soo thin is for my body,  I have gone through a 20 lbs weight range, and know well the healthy and unhealthy limits for me...

 

I reallty do not want to be too thin... it does not appeal to me.  I just want to be at the weight where I looked my best. I like to go out a lot, clubbing etc, and enjoy having a slim body.

 

My boyfriend tells me I look great and he would love me the same at my current weight; I ainrt doing this for any one else but me....   HE also agreed that 57 ish kilos looked thin, yet healthy.....  and that it left enough rooom to fall ill and etc....

 

I know it is very dangerous for a person with an ED to think about weight loss. I am not ignorant on the matter..... I just feel that I know my body, that I know what a hwealthy version of slim is, and that I DO NOT have urges to go past what is " healthy" for my body.

 

 

I plan to maintain my weight on normal amounts of food, with reats, food I love, etc.   I am not one for depriving myself..hence the weight gain:)

 

I just wanted to reitorate, that while I apperciate the huge risk; that I feel far enough pastr the urges to be too thin. I feel that I can logically NEVER choose to lose everything and risk social life/job/boyfriend/everything just to be too thin again... it is not something I would pick.

 

I am focused on woreking out and getting fitter and leaner more than losing wweight; it just happens that my fittest and best looking weight was about 3 pounds lighter.  No big deal?  

  I was mostly after shared experiences, rather than people telling me that just because I am a healtjhyw eight, that losing 3 measly vanity pounds would be " unhealthy:" fiormy body  ( when no one here can assess my body type or legitimately tell me it is " too thin)

 

In the past, I have been 54kilos, and lost weight and gotten my ED back again; however, this time around, I am a healthy weight, LOSING to a healthy weight?  I am not JUST healtlthy, losing to a too thin weight like before.

 

These days I would be thrilled and PROUD to just be 58 ish kilos or therabouts.  I view that as super slim, and super hot, visually speaking, on my body......

 

REGARDING MY PAST ED:  I had a very mild ED, which was still devastating; I was only about 12 pbs too thin, I was never emaciated or sickly to the point ofr concern.. I was " hollywood" thin;  I did not look ill for the most part, but my body type is muscular and average,  therefore 120 or lowe to 116r is healthy looking, but not  optimal for my thicfker body type.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I appreciate the warnings, but I will be posting my progress in a group section i think, and will lose slowly and healthily, and I strongly feel that I will not have the compulsion to keep losing.... If I DO,  I will look back on this post and see that I am irratonally aiming to lose more weight than necessary, to look ym best.....

LAstly -    I do not count calories, and have not done so for some time. A long time.  I will be losing those last couple of vanity pounds, through common sense;  3 smalelr than usual meals and snacks,  working out 5 days a week in a routine ( running 40 mins 3 days, cardio of choice other2 days for 45 mins or therabouts, and toning 2 - 3 days per week)

 

I love going to the gym every day, luckily. It feels like brishing my teeth; an hour of work, in order for me to feel way happier the remaining 18 hours I am awake:)    It has just always been a priority for me, and thinness and weight is not the motivating reason.. I just like to be slim and fit looking. It seams to control any depressive moods, too. I am bever depressed when healthy and fit.

 

I get depressed way more NOW, without exercise, than I did when I worked out more.....

Original Post by personaltrainer87:

REGARDING MY PAST ED:  I had a very mild ED, which was still devastating; I was only about 12 pbs too thin, I was never emaciated or sickly to the point ofr concern.. I was " hollywood" thin;  I did not look ill for the most part, but my body type is muscular and average,  therefore 120 or lowe to 116r is healthy looking, but not  optimal for my thicfker body type.

According to you, you were thin to the point of concern.

Leigh, I've read a lot of your posts over the years. And I don't want you to feel attacked, but I see you saying the same thing each time. That it's ok for you to lose weight, that you know your body better than anyone, that you just prefer to be on the slim side... over the years, and at different depths of your eating disorder, I've seen you write the same thing. I'm not sure what makes it any different now than it was then.

I'm worried that you put too much stock in your thinness as the only way you can be attractive (and I'm basing that on things you have written stating pretty much just that). And I agree with the others that you start heading back into the dark if you try this.

As a side note, and it's just meant as constructive criticism, but feel free to ignore - your posts get difficult to read when you add a lot of extra spaces between paragraphs. It might help people read your posts better if you don't do that.

Everything amethystgirl said.

No one is saying that 125lbs is not a healthy weight either. However, for you, losing weight in general is going to be incredibly risky, given your previous attitudes to food and weight loss. You may claim to have complete control over it this time, but it's so easy to slip into that old mindset. Do you really want to chance going through all that again for the sake of a few vanity pounds, when you could easily look 'fitter and slimmer' (if you even need to) by having fitness oriented goals, not just focussing on a number on a scale?

Amythest - Sorry about my lack of grammar, I tend to rush through posting and not care much about how I come accross.

Another thing - thanks for taking the time to read my post, and give me your advice/ opinion.   You are right - and this is also something I have found out since meeting my boyfriend -    HE IS MUCH MORE attracted to me, based on HOW I ACT.

 

My boyfriend LOVES " hot" girls... however, he always always ALWAYS stresses to me, that the more cool and " fun" and just the better I am as a person, in general... THIS is what makes him want me sexually.

Since being very slim for a big boobed curvy  girl, at about 117 ish ( 52 kilos - 54 kilos)  when I first met Andrew - I was a very thin girl, however, I lacked a personality and social skills, due to my imprisioning ED.

Trust me - I have learnt the ultimate lesson - it is how I act that makes people attracted to me. My weight has had NO bearing on making people like me, BESIDES the fact that: working out makes me FEEL more confident and happy and up beat, which in turn, makes me more likable.

 

Of course - it isnot a set number on the scale that makes people like me - it is the general chemical release and physical benifits of being a gym junkie, that make me happy, confident, and feel so proud to have a fit and slim body.

 

WHat I should have specified is: when I work out 5 days a week, for about an hour or even just 40 mins...  and eat normally - I find my weight naturally sits about 55 - 58 tops kilos. It is only when I over eat and get lazy that I have gained weight.

 

Losing weight deliberately could be risky, but I am sure I just have ZERO interest, in using a certain " number" of pounds, dictate how much I feel people will like me......... I KNOW first hand, that my weight, being super slim, had NO bearing on getting people to like me.

 

HONESTLY - I am at a healthy enough weight, to NOT fall into an ED if I lost only a mere 3 pounds........  because it will STILL be a healthyw eight for my body type, therefore my brain chemistry should not be skewed as a result.

 

I am really adament that I DO NOT want to lose down to less of a weight then56 -57 kilos!!!!!!!!!!!      ;    I do not want to!  I WANT to be that weight and no less.....

I am not going to go out of my way to stay this weight, if once I work out normally and eat normally ( not over eat emotionally), I naturally lose.  I never stay this weight when I eat when hungry, with treats and over eating once a week, and exercise even 4 days a week.

and I agree, that I should have fitness orientated goals first and foremost -  I aim to just go to the gym 5 days a week for abotu an hour, running 40 miuns 3 days a week, toning 2 - 3 days a week......   and my boyfriend loves going for walks with my and his dogs often.

I like being fit because my body looks healthier and more firm.... opposed to a unworked body. I like the look and feel of a more " active: body, so to speak.  However:  I have always been below 60 kilos when I am active, without restricting food, so.....

I shou;d be more clear: the reason I am 60 kilos, is because I have over eaten a lot, because I emotionally use food: when I eat when hungry, with the fwe treats and over eating episodes on the odd occasion, I am better looking and slighly slimmer ( because I am not over eating...)

 

I just want to look like I do when I do not consdtantly over eat: I like to look the way I do when I eat when hungry for the most part, and over eat only once or twice a week, and work out 5 or even 4 days a week.

MY fittest weight that I look and feel best at just so happens to be about 58 - 56 kilos. My default. Not because it is a number I am striving for. I just look better in general when I am fitter.

My fitter body happens to be a tiny bit lighter than I am currently. i do not want to deliberately continue to over eat just to maintain -  if I maintain eating normally and working, that is fine of course:)...... I just highly doubt that I will, given my fittest body is always about 57 kilos, when I eat more moderately and normally.

 

What happened was this, regarding the weight gain:  I was shocked that I was eating sooo much, and maintaining only 55 - 57 kilos.... I are more than my boyfriend who is a big guy even, he was shocked.

Then one day, BAM - I could not longer eat like a teenage boy, and maintain a slim weight -  I think it was because: I stopped working out, and I stopped smoking ciggies.

 

I smoked ciggies for about two months and ate whatever I wanted - EPIC amounts of food - I walked and used the cross trainer,and ran about twice a week, nothing major though.  I was 120 lbs eating like a total pig. about 2500 cals a day even I would guess.

THEN: I quit smoking, and continued to eat like a pig, and did little exercise. AT FIRST,k i stayed about 57 kilos for ages, eating more thasn my boyfriend. The weight piled on over the course of ONE WEEK , basically.

 

I do not like feeling bloated and using food as an emotional crutch........   therefore I want my fit, NON over eating body back..

 

BY the way -   60 kilos at 166cm = BMI 21.8 ( my current weight - throguh  over eating, never waiting until actually hungry, no exercise)

 

58 kilos = BMI 21

57 kilos = BMI 20.7

 

Therefore 57 kilos is the LOWEST I will let myself go.    Even though my weight naturally tends to fall here, when I eat normally, albiet very decently, and work out about 4 days a week.

I guess if I work out 5 days, I will afford an extra treat, so as not to lose beyond 57 kilos.

 

Numbers are not relevant to fitness goals, however, I do think it is important to at least be aware of the BMI chart, as the statistics state that BMI 21 is  better for ppl with an ED in the past.

 

 

I have been over my ED and all urges to be thin ( too thin) for months. Stopped counting calories before I was over it.

 

The last ED aspect remaining, was: I thought at 57 kilos, was a weight that I njever was for years, and therefore I should  be about 55 kilos to be my optimal.

I was never satisfied at any weight really - although once I reached 55 kilos, at the time, I knew I was a v wery slim and ideal weight.

I have now changed my goal to above 55, though, even though everyone told me I was very good at 55 kilos -  slim but not in an unhealthy way in the sloightest - ppl told me I had oplenty of wiggle room to fall ill at, etc.

 

I was also told I looked very fit and healthy at 57 kilos, so 57 =- 58 kilos is a better goal for me with my history I feel.

I will come back here for my own sake just to prove that i was right - that I do nto indeed have urges to keep on losing more and more weight once I am at my goal.

 

You've admitted that you are healthy as you are and do not need to lose this weight. As your title says, they are vanity pounds.

So the question is if losing a few vanity pounds is worth the risk of relapsing into an eating disorder. It seems like an easy choice to me. The fact that you so urgently want to do this and are trying to convince all of us (or maybe yourself) for such a small amount of weight makes me wonder if your ED is craving the feeling of counting calories and seeing the number on the scale go down again. You asked for advice so this is it: I don't think it is worth the risk.

I like to look good, so to me, losing only about 3 lbs is worth the risk....    because it will still be a healthy weight for me, mentally I should not need to keep on losing.

I absolutaly do not WANT to keep losing, and become too thin. At all.

 

I mentioned losing, because 57 kilos or thereabouts is just the weight I have always been, when I eat normally ( including over eating once a week), and work out regularly.

 

I asked to hear about shared experiences, not ppl warninig me about the risks; I know there is always a risk once u have had an ED. I just think I am beyond wanting to ever continue to lose more and more weight.

I no longer feel addicted to having to keep seeing the numbers on the scales go down.

 

I get my boyfriend to hide the scales. Once a week, he agrees to give them to me, to motiror my progress. I found that in the past, I only got addicted to losing, when I weighed myself daily.

I do nto weigh myself daily any more, any ways, as it is annoying and not productive. I just like him to have the scales to be safe.

 

The heavier one is, the less of a risk of a repalse. I know this. However; I like to look good, and am prepared to face the risks. After all - the worst that can happen, is I keep losing, and by the time I am 55 kilos, my boyfriend and those around me KNOW of my goals and limitations.

I have asked people around me, and also on this website, to tell me when I go beyond my goal, and keep losing for no reason. My parents and boyfriend know to ask me my weight, and to forcebly tell me to stop once I reach my goal.

I am not worried at all about relapse.   to be honest - I am so fixated on my inward  qualities - I have no job, friends, and my boyfriend is all I have, after my ED - I need to rebuild my LIFE -  I have soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many goals to achieve and things to think about,  that I do not have TIME or energy, to waste on losing too much weight to an unhealthy weight ever again...

 

I am so focused on rebuilding my life, that losing a few vanity pounds does not scare me, in terms of relapse. I am just so, so driven to build all the other area of my life.

Original Post by personaltrainer87:

I like to look good, so to me, losing only about 3 lbs is worth the risk....  

I am not worried at all about relapse.   to be honest - I am so fixated on my inward  qualities - I have no job, friends, and my boyfriend is all I have, after my ED - I need to rebuild my LIFE -  I have soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many goals to achieve and things to think about,  that I do not have TIME or energy, to waste on losing too much weight to an unhealthy weight ever again...

I don't understand: if your focus is your inward qualities and rebuilding your life after an ED, why are 3 vanity pounds worth the risk? Doesn't that seem a bit contradictory?

 

I know you asked for shared experiences not warnings, so here is my experience of trying to lose vanity weight after an ED: it led to a relapse. Every time. I hope it won't for you, but it might, and I don't think it is worth it. If you still need your boyfriend to hide the scales, maybe you should forget about vanity and weighing yourself altogether for now, and ask yourself why "looking good" is worth the risk of relapsing into physical and mental devastation all over again.

Just wondering, but how many calories are you eating for maintenance?

To give you an idea -  you may call me superficial, but I just get confidence from looking better.

Being a slim version of what is still healthy for me, looks better in my eyes, and in the eyes of every person who sees me. It is common to associate a slim version of oneself as the most appealing body to look at.

 

I am also getting a nose job, as I am otherwise attractive, apart from a pointed and crooked nose. It is not that bad. I am just giving you an idea, of how I do gain great confidence from looking better.

At the same time, I do place equal importance on building myself from the inside;  my boyfriend taught me that the better I am as a person, the more he desires me, sexually, and in all ways... so...

I have wanted a nose job since I was 10, by the way. Neat, small noses have always appealed to me, and I have never been thrilled with mine...

I know losing weight, being your  so called" slim hot" weight, and getting a better nose, will never fix any underlying personal issues I have. I am doing it to gain confidence from my appearance, no to make my life more rich, or to build better relatiuonships. I tis just for the thrill of looking better.

 

A lot of women eat 1200 cals or even 1000 cals a day, work out every day, and are 110 - 117 lbs at 5 '5 ish tall; these women, in my opinion, are the ones who are kidding themselves, and depriving themselves out of a full and happy life.

 

At least I can still eat a lot at 125 ish lbs and enjoy food with no restrictions.  Being addicted to losing more weight is just not something I feel geard towards anymore. wanting to be the most slim girl in the room and using being thinner than others as a tool to feel superior or to dictate my mood, is not something I associate with any more. I just do not feel it.

 

I  have a psych around the corner from me, however, and will get help if I fall into my unhealthy ways. I feel so confident right now, that I can attain my own superficial goals, without falling ill in any way.

Mentally, I am all over the place, with no job and friends, and lots of speeding fines, financial hardship....    I feel like I need to pick the pieces of my life up after ED,  but I do not feel mentaly ill from my ED any longer.

 

I have been recovering for about 8 months, fully reovering. My current relationship is helping, as my boyfriend made me realize that he is just as attracted to me NOW, than he was when I was super slim.

He said I was a tad to slim at 113 ish or 52 kilos.. I did not look ill, but he prefers slim but heavier than that.....   I feel much b etter off at 57 kilos, as it was a very curvy and healthy weight, yet still slim.

 

Another good thing is: I never thought 57 ot 58 kilos could be desirable or slim. After I have reached that weight, however, I now know it was a very slim and enviable weight.

I never thought i would get my head around weighing over 55 kilos, but I now love thast weight, and see it as a very slim and attractive weight. My perception has changed a lot.

 

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