Young Calorie Counters
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Anyone else disappointed in some of the reactions on here?


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I said that i wanted to lose a few kilos and was immeadiately reprimanded by multiple people for being unhealthy etc. I'm quite annoyed as i was just coming on here for support to get fitter. Has anyone else had the same problem?

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i'm sorry you felt reprimanded by so many people :( Also, I apoligize if I was one of them. I never have personally had this problem. However... 

many people on this site (mostly on the health and support forums, and even people on YCC, including me) have dealt/are dealing with eating disorders. I am confident, that people were not trying to give you a hard time, but instead, not wanting you to potentially develop an eating disorder. I'm not saying you will or would,  but from personal experience, it sucks, and i would never want anyone to have to go through it. 

So, it's not that we're trying to give you a hard time, but we just want you to stay healthy. I understand it must be annoying to be told that what you're doing is unhealthy (not saying it is, and i have no idea what you're doing anyway) But the people replying in this way are just trying to help in the best way they know how. 

It's not your fault...just the majority of the people here set unhealthy goals. You may have a perfectly fine goal, but everyone here on the YCC forum has to take precautions in order to prevent relapses of ED in some people.

It's nothing against you, I suggest doing some research on your bmi before you lose weight, and then tell us of its healthy, and THEN we'll give support.

Does that answer your question?

I agree that lots of people here will attack you if you're at a healthy weight and still trying to lose vanity pounds. HOWEVER, you are:

1. very young, so this can stall your growth and give you plenty of issues in the future (both physical and emotional);

2. very insecure and you should focus on working on that;

3. still growing, so getting to your old weight is NOT a good idea, as your optimal weight increases until you stop growing;

4. close to underweight, so there's no way you're fat. While I agree that BMI is not a good way to estimate the size of someone's body, there's no chance of you being big at that weight, unless your bones are made of styrofoam.

So, I have to agree with them in this case. If you feel you're flabby, start training, it'll do you good (if you eat enough, of course). But losing weight? It'll only end up being a problem for you.

I suggest you get off the scale and take up sports.

just to make it clear. im 5' 9" and i think im still growing. i cant help being insecure. and i play 4 sports so thats not a problem

I don't necessarily agree with the fact that you can't help being insecure. Take it from me. I was suicidal, had multiple EDs, and up until recently was losing weight purely for appearance reasons. If you take time and work very hard to deconstruct and reconstruct your mindset, I guarantee you'll be able to beat your insecurities. Don't take away your power and place it in others, otherwise you'll constantly be disappointing yourself. And, most of all, be healthy and happy! :)

Seriously,.. well said. Original Post by lasposacadavere:

I agree that lots of people here will attack you if you're at a healthy weight and still trying to lose vanity pounds. HOWEVER, you are:

1. very young, so this can stall your growth and give you plenty of issues in the future (both physical and emotional);

2. very insecure and you should focus on working on that;

3. still growing, so getting to your old weight is NOT a good idea, as your optimal weight increases until you stop growing;

4. close to underweight, so there's no way you're fat. While I agree that BMI is not a good way to estimate the size of someone's body, there's no chance of you being big at that weight, unless your bones are made of styrofoam.

So, I have to agree with them in this case. If you feel you're flabby, start training, it'll do you good (if you eat enough, of course). But losing weight? It'll only end up being a problem for you.

I suggest you get off the scale and take up sports.

 

Original Post by wishworkrecieve:

just to make it clear. im 5' 9" and i think im still growing. i cant help being insecure. and i play 4 sports so thats not a problem

That's such a b***s*** excuse. What, are you not in control of your own mind? Is someone forcing you to be insecure?

Everyone has to power to over come insecurity-its just a matter of utilizing it, or simply rolling over, accepting it, and maintaining a stasis of misery.

Oh god spare me, if you're insecure work on it. Develop a skill, volunteer, learn a new language, take up a new hobby (that doesn't involve losing weight), just DO something with your brain and talents. I guarantee if you spend your energy cultivating a talent or skill, this issue of losing unnecessary weight and insecurity will go away.

Ok, I read your other thread, and the answers you got.  I honestly don't think anyone was trying to be mean to you.  I think they were just trying to help you.  I ran your numbers for both 5'9" and 5'11" just to make sure.  At 5'9" your BMI was calculated to be 19.3, which is within a healthy range.  At 5'11" it was 19.3 and is again withing a healthy range.  If you wanted to lose a couple of vanity pounds, that's ok, but not too much.  You want to stay healthy.  I really don't think they were trying to do anything but help.

Of course you're insecure!  All 14 year olds are insecure!  Especially when the world is bombarded with visions of beauty that are not only unhealthy but also unattainable for most normal women.  Try not to dwell on it.  I'm sure you are a lovely young lady (except for when you're sticking your middle finger out at people trying to help you).  So give yourself, and others, a break.  Eat smart, exercise and get the proper amount of sleep.  That's way you really need to remember. 

Original Post by vonapathy:

Original Post by wishworkrecieve:

just to make it clear. im 5' 9" and i think im still growing. i cant help being insecure. and i play 4 sports so thats not a problem

That's such a b***s*** excuse. What, are you not in control of your own mind? Is someone forcing you to be insecure?

Everyone has to power to over come insecurity-its just a matter of utilizing it, or simply rolling over, accepting it, and maintaining a stasis of misery.

Oh god spare me, if you're insecure work on it. Develop a skill, volunteer, learn a new language, take up a new hobby (that doesn't involve losing weight), just DO something with your brain and talents. I guarantee if you spend your energy cultivating a talent or skill, this issue of losing unnecessary weight and insecurity will go away.

I think your being a little unecessarly harsh. If all people had to do to be confident and happy was take up a hobby or cultivate a talent I guess I would be one supremely confident and joyous person; however, in real life I suffer from depression and anxiety. (although I do play sports, have hobbies, volunteer, am educated etc) You are oversimplifying things and, quite frankly, you are being mean. Give a young girl a break.

The problem isn't having insecurities; any sane person has some.  The problem is you shouldn't let your insecurities run your life. 

I'm not sure I understand -- you thought everyone would support you in an effort to lose weight you don't need to lose?  Losing a vanity pound or two is vastly different than the 131 ->117 takes you from a healthy weight to a borderline unhealthy weight.  And considering that you told us you were 5'11" at first -- you were already on the cusp.  Even at the 5'9" you now profess to be -- 117 is a dangerously low weight, given your age and the stage of growth you are in.

You ARE being supported -- way more than you understand.  You have a community of people who have been through this and are trying to make you realize that you are fine -- you are not chubby, fat, or overweight.  And at your age, at a healthy weight, you should not be focusing on dieting.

The examples that were posted are from girls/women who have had unhealthy relationships with their bodies, with food -- this is the path you are on, and the path we are trying to steer you away from.

Don't be mad -- be happy that there are this many people willing to show you exactly how much they do care.

Vonapathy, if you have nothing but insults and condemnation to say then find someone less vulnerable to smash into, alright? You and people like you make individuals in this forum scared to post their feelings for fear of your 'punishment'.

Some people on this forum have issues and are unable to deal with this kind of needless and vicious criticism- what to you is a comment made jn a passing mood may cause someone to spiral into further issues of which you are unaware.

People on this site are using it to lose weight, or gain weight. Their reasons for this are varied and individual, as are the goals.

BUT NO ONE HAS ANY OBLIGATION TO 'PROVE' TO ANYONE ELSE ON THIS SITE THAT THEY 'DESERVE' TO LOSE WEIGHT. It's not a competition about 'I have more weight to lose than you so **** off because my reasons more important.'

So she wants to lose for vanitys sake- not an evil reason. Some people need to lose for their health. Make it into some competition over who has weight loss RIGHTS and we'll all lose confidence in this site. If anyone feels resentful that someone they perceive as already thin in comparison to themselves (in the middle of a large weight loss program for their health etc) is trying to lose weight, the correct response is to not react by 'oh get a grip you skinny b***h.' because that 'skinny b***h' is just as nervous and scared of her body as you, at puberty, even more so, and doesn't deserve I be attacked for being at a lower weight than you. She's not ungrateful for her position, but she shouldn't have to apologise to anyone for being thinner than them.

Be nice and don't start selecting people's motivation as less 'worthy' than your own.
@NeverEatShreddedMeat thank you for understanding. According to various internet tests and quizzes i took after some people expresses worry for me on this site suggest that i most likely have depression and am sliding quickly towards an eating disorder. I didnt choose for this, i would never want to be like this but years of bullying and feeling worthless to my family and having a really negative (now ex) best friend telling me that maybe if i was skinny or pretty i would be loved. i understand of you just want to express concern but if youre going to be negative, leave now. after i recieved a few negative and quite insulting messages on here i started cutting again. i managed to stop for 3 months. thanks to a couple of people out there i started again. i hope youre happy.

You need to speak to a doctor, not take online quizzes.

You were pretty mean in your comments too, especially to coachk. And ya, you don't need to lose weight and neither should u. And u can stick your finger up at that see if I give a hoot. It's the truth so get over it :) or better yet get some help
Original Post by NeverEatShreddedWheat:

Vonapathy, if you have nothing but insults and condemnation to say then find someone less vulnerable to smash into, alright? You and people like you make individuals in this forum scared to post their feelings for fear of your 'punishment'.

Some people on this forum have issues and are unable to deal with this kind of needless and vicious criticism- what to you is a comment made jn a passing mood may cause someone to spiral into further issues of which you are unaware.

People on this site are using it to lose weight, or gain weight. Their reasons for this are varied and individual, as are the goals.

BUT NO ONE HAS ANY OBLIGATION TO 'PROVE' TO ANYONE ELSE ON THIS SITE THAT THEY 'DESERVE' TO LOSE WEIGHT. It's not a competition about 'I have more weight to lose than you so **** off because my reasons more important.'

So she wants to lose for vanitys sake- not an evil reason. Some people need to lose for their health. Make it into some competition over who has weight loss RIGHTS and we'll all lose confidence in this site. If anyone feels resentful that someone they perceive as already thin in comparison to themselves (in the middle of a large weight loss program for their health etc) is trying to lose weight, the correct response is to not react by 'oh get a grip you skinny b***h.' because that 'skinny b***h' is just as nervous and scared of her body as you, at puberty, even more so, and doesn't deserve I be attacked for being at a lower weight than you. She's not ungrateful for her position, but she shouldn't have to apologise to anyone for being thinner than them.

Be nice and don't start selecting people's motivation as less 'worthy' than your own.

TL:DR, obtuse projection that had nothing to do with my original comment.

 

....man I wish we could post .gifs

#17  
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You started cutting again because some random people on the Internet were possibly rude to you?

Please don't take offense to this, but you genuinely need to get some help.

Why would you cutting ever make us happy?
Ok well I read your comment about starting cutting again... I'm sorry for being so harsh, but honestly u weren't very nice to begin with. People post on here to get advice from others and u don't seem to want to listen and that's probably because u are beyond that point of hearing people out, unfortunately. I hope u disregard my earlier comment, and get yourself taken care of. I assure u that cutting yourself or harming yourself in any way will not make anybody happy. people who post here take time to read and comment because they care about you and helping people in need or advising them to get help, not to criticize- That would be a big waste of time and effort

You need to get some help. You are clearly in over your head and don't know how to manage your depression.  You also can't attribute your cutting to anyone else.  No one here wanted you to cut yourself, and if that was your reaction to feeling insulted, then you need help asap.  If you start a war with yourself, then you will have to lose.

I didn't really read any of the replies on this but I was just thinking the same thing! So sorry if I'm repeating anyone else! It's annoying how being in the "teenage" category all the adults say we are being unhealthy but someone over 20 doing the same thing is fine! Who cares if you want to drop a few pounds as long as your healthy it's about how you feel and how healthy you are not whether your 18 19 or 20!! Teens need healthy support not nagging parents!
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