"guys dig curves" garbage
Seriously people, whats with all this 'guys dig curves' garbage? Yea right! If guys dig curves, than why is the stick-thin image promoted? And why do guys only date mainly skinny girls whose legs don't even touch when they walk?
Anyone else in high school notice this? Do you think it's just our age?
Original Post by jwinokur:
Original Post by lbcbtt:
I'm an 18 year old guy fresh out of high school.
Yes, I'm attracted to thin, fit women.
Thats not the only type of woman I'm attracted to, though. There is something very sexy about a woman with nice curves. Sure some guys won't date curvy women, but you'd be surprised by how many young guys find it attractive.
I think refusing to date a Woman who isn't thin is a little bit different from having a preference for thin Women (not saying you'd do that, just commenting on your statement about how some men "won't date" curvy Women)
Well there are always going to be arrogant jerks who refuse to date anyone who isn't model thing. Its unfortunate, but true. People shouldn't get hung up on that though. The VAST majority of my friends like women with average sized bodies. NOT super thin, with some nice curves. Theres plenty of breathing room though. Women without many curves can still be beautiful, just as women who are VERY curvy can.
Original Post by lbcbtt:
Original Post by jwinokur:
Original Post by lbcbtt:
I'm an 18 year old guy fresh out of high school.
Yes, I'm attracted to thin, fit women.
Thats not the only type of woman I'm attracted to, though. There is something very sexy about a woman with nice curves. Sure some guys won't date curvy women, but you'd be surprised by how many young guys find it attractive.
I think refusing to date a Woman who isn't thin is a little bit different from having a preference for thin Women (not saying you'd do that, just commenting on your statement about how some men "won't date" curvy Women)
Well there are always going to be arrogant jerks who refuse to date anyone who isn't model thing. Its unfortunate, but true. People shouldn't get hung up on that though. The VAST majority of my friends like women with average sized bodies. NOT super thin, with some nice curves. Theres plenty of breathing room though. Women without many curves can still be beautiful, just as women who are VERY curvy can.
I agree with you - there are always going to be arrogant, shallow jerks out there. I wasn't disagreeing with any of your points, just trying to shed a different light on the situation.
I still think that the thin-curvy dichotomy perpetuates rigid and sometimes unattainable definitions of beauty. Check out my post on page 19, post 368 :)
Original Post by lbcbtt:
Original Post by jwinokur:
Original Post by lbcbtt:
I'm an 18 year old guy fresh out of high school.
Yes, I'm attracted to thin, fit women.
Thats not the only type of woman I'm attracted to, though. There is something very sexy about a woman with nice curves. Sure some guys won't date curvy women, but you'd be surprised by how many young guys find it attractive.
I think refusing to date a Woman who isn't thin is a little bit different from having a preference for thin Women (not saying you'd do that, just commenting on your statement about how some men "won't date" curvy Women)
Well there are always going to be arrogant jerks who refuse to date anyone who isn't model thing. Its unfortunate, but true. People shouldn't get hung up on that though. The VAST majority of my friends like women with average sized bodies. NOT super thin, with some nice curves. Theres plenty of breathing room though. Women without many curves can still be beautiful, just as women who are VERY curvy can.
I agree with you - there are always going to be arrogant, shallow jerks out there. I wasn't disagreeing with any of your points, just trying to shed a different light on the situation.
I still think that the thin-curvy dichotomy perpetuates rigid and sometimes unattainable definitions of beauty. Thin and curvy aren't the only definitions of beauty - many Women are not able to attain either body type. Check out my post on page 19, post 368 :)
I am overweight. Even though I am overweight, I have good proportions. I have a reasonable well endowed chest, small waist and round butt. I think my measurements are something like 40-34-48. I get catcalled all the time and in fact, yesterday I had a guy come up to me in the store and tell me "I couldn't help but notice you from across the store". I had to tell him I'm happily engaged.
Seriously though, I'm overweight by a fair amount. I weigh about 212 and am only 5'4". I think that technically, I am "obese". I AM trying to lose weight (for the wedding and for health) but I enjoy my curves and I've found that LOTS of boys do too. I live in Wisconsin, where being overweight is the norm, so maybe that has something to do with it.
Original Post by jwinokur:
I agree with you - there are always going to be arrogant, shallow jerks out there. I wasn't disagreeing with any of your points, just trying to shed a different light on the situation.
I still think that the thin-curvy dichotomy perpetuates rigid and sometimes unattainable definitions of beauty. Thin and curvy aren't the only definitions of beauty - many Women are not able to attain either body type. Check out my post on page 19, post 368 :)
That said, men who are attracted to thin women shouldn't be looked down upon for being attracted to them. We're all attracted to what we're attracted to, and men liking a particular physical form should be regarded no less than women disregarding men who, for instance, lack confidence. We all have our triggers for what we find attractive, and preferring one body type over another does not make one "shallow".
A guy doesn't look at a woman and go "Hmmm, proper hip to waist ratio, rational BMI, eyes look clear and hair and skin is smooth indicating health, suitably large breast size, dressed nice so she's not a hobo, I think I'm attracted *click*"... a guy looks at a woman and gets that adrenalin rush completely outside conscious thought.
Original Post by hatamoto:
Original Post by jwinokur:
I agree with you - there are always going to be arrogant, shallow jerks out there. I wasn't disagreeing with any of your points, just trying to shed a different light on the situation.
I still think that the thin-curvy dichotomy perpetuates rigid and sometimes unattainable definitions of beauty. Thin and curvy aren't the only definitions of beauty - many Women are not able to attain either body type. Check out my post on page 19, post 368 :)
That said, men who are attracted to thin women shouldn't be looked down upon for being attracted to them. We're all attracted to what we're attracted to, and men liking a particular physical form should be regarded no less than women disregarding men who, for instance, lack confidence. We all have our triggers for what we find attractive, and preferring one body type over another does not make one "shallow".
A guy doesn't look at a woman and go "Hmmm, proper hip to waist ratio, rational BMI, eyes look clear and hair and skin is smooth indicating health, suitably large breast size, dressed nice so she's not a hobo, I think I'm attracted *click*"... a guy looks at a woman and gets that adrenalin rush completely outside conscious thought.
I understand that. I'm not talking at ALL about what sexual attraction is or isn't based on. All I'm saying is that the media has no right to go around dictating which body types we should be striving for and which we shouldn't be. It also has no right to go around insisting that outward beauty is the most important or legitimate form of beauty.
I don't think that being attracted to thin women makes you shallow. In the post I made on page 19, I wrote about how women of all body types can be beautiful, and that no one should put down a specific body type for any reason.
What I *do* think makes a person shallow is if they base their interest in a person 100% on physical attraction (I agree that it's an important factor, but I do think there is something to be said about a person who would remain interested in a physically attractive man/woman despite them being extremely unlikable in every other way). The other thing that makes a person shallow is if they would absolutely refuse to even consider being romantic with someone who wasn't a size 2 with DD breasts, even if they have a winning personality.
Being shallow isn't about having a physical preference, it's about prioritizing superficial things over the more important things (kindness, loyalty, intelligence, etc).
Original Post by hatamoto:
Original Post by jwinokur:
I agree with you - there are always going to be arrogant, shallow jerks out there. I wasn't disagreeing with any of your points, just trying to shed a different light on the situation.
I still think that the thin-curvy dichotomy perpetuates rigid and sometimes unattainable definitions of beauty. Thin and curvy aren't the only definitions of beauty - many Women are not able to attain either body type. Check out my post on page 19, post 368 :)
That said, men who are attracted to thin women shouldn't be looked down upon for being attracted to them. We're all attracted to what we're attracted to, and men liking a particular physical form should be regarded no less than women disregarding men who, for instance, lack confidence. We all have our triggers for what we find attractive, and preferring one body type over another does not make one "shallow".
A guy doesn't look at a woman and go "Hmmm, proper hip to waist ratio, rational BMI, eyes look clear and hair and skin is smooth indicating health, suitably large breast size, dressed nice so she's not a hobo, I think I'm attracted *click*"... a guy looks at a woman and gets that adrenalin rush completely outside conscious thought.
Also, my comment about shallowness was in response to the comment made by the poster who said "guys who would refuse to date anyone who isn't a model" - that's what I'm talking about. Having a preference for a certain body type isn't the same thing as refusing to date anyone who isn't a model.
Original Post by jwinokur:
What I *do* think makes a person shallow is if they base their interest in a person 100% on physical attraction (I agree that it's an important factor, but I do think there is something to be said about a person who would remain interested in a physically attractive man/woman despite them being extremely unlikable in every other way). The other thing that makes a person shallow is if they would absolutely refuse to even consider being romantic with someone who wasn't a size 2 with DD breasts, even if they have a winning personality.
I almost agree with you... I believe the term "shallow" means basing your opinion of someone on one or two factors, regardless of what those factors are. A woman who is only into a man for his money is just as shallow as man who is only into a woman for her looks (and vice versa, ie. a guy after a sugar mama and a girl chasing a pretty boy).
Original Post by hatamoto:
Original Post by jwinokur:
What I *do* think makes a person shallow is if they base their interest in a person 100% on physical attraction (I agree that it's an important factor, but I do think there is something to be said about a person who would remain interested in a physically attractive man/woman despite them being extremely unlikable in every other way). The other thing that makes a person shallow is if they would absolutely refuse to even consider being romantic with someone who wasn't a size 2 with DD breasts, even if they have a winning personality.
I almost agree with you... I believe the term "shallow" means basing your opinion of someone on one or two factors, regardless of what those factors are. A woman who is only into a man for his money is just as shallow as man who is only into a woman for her looks (and vice versa, ie. a guy after a sugar mama and a girl chasing a pretty boy).
Oh, I definitely agree, there are many things that can make a person shallow, including the example you've given here, and many more. I was just explaining my idea of it in the context of this thread, but there's definitely a lot more to it.
Sounds like we're on the same page then. WooT! 
As to the media... well, the way you make people spend money is to do everything you can to create a vacuum of some sort: you're too fat, you're too ugly, you're too short, you're too flat chested, you're too bald, you're driving too shabby a car, you're wearing rags, your skin is blemished/too oily/too dry, your eyes aren't the perfect shade or aren't properly lashed, your grey hair makes you unlovable. Then you offer a Perfect World of Amazing Awesomeness™ if people only buy your product.
Advertisers #1 job is to make people feel as miserable as possible about themselves and their situation in life, in order to sell crap that promises but doesn't deliver a superior life.
That's consumerism for you. 
Original Post by hatamoto:
Sounds like we're on the same page then. WooT!
As to the media... well, the way you make people spend money is to do everything you can to create a vacuum of some sort: you're too fat, you're too ugly, you're too short, you're too flat chested, you're too bald, you're driving too shabby a car, you're wearing rags, your skin is blemished/too oily/too dry, your eyes aren't the perfect shade or aren't properly lashed, your grey hair makes you unlovable. Then you offer a Perfect World of Amazing Awesomeness™ if people only buy your product.
Advertisers #1 job is to make people feel as miserable as possible about themselves and their situation in life, in order to sell crap that promises but doesn't deliver a superior life.
That's consumerism for you.
Absolutely. The business and advertising industry is a huge success, from their perspective. It works - and that's what's so unsettling about it. Afterall, I have succumbed to it - I can't even count the number of skin products and 'lengthening' mascaras that I own, or the number of days that I spend wishing I was thinner or prettier. And that's in spite of being a self-proclaimed feminist and being reasonably educated about many different societal problems. Most people won't ever fully escape it, but I still think it's important to be self-aware and to be both critical and analytical, however far that takes you.
What I find to be the most unsettling is that most forms of media do not represent the true demographic. We tend to glorify those who have wealth, sexual appeal, and who don't necessarily have anything useful or interesting to contribute to society. As a more specific example, we tend to see stories about kidnapping, sexual violence, and tragic death as being much more awful and undeserved when they involve a thin, pretty Woman. This is really easy to spot just by watching the titles of news stories: "Beautiful Woman permanently disfigured in car accident" - "Beautiful cheerleader disabled by flu shot", and throughout the entire stories, the journalist constantly capitilzes on the fact that the person involved was beautiful, and therefore much more worthy of horrified reactions and sympathy. When was the last time you saw a minority or an obese person seriously represented in the media in a way that paints it as being as tragic as stories about the beautiful caucasian Woman who is engaged to her successful husband?
Anyway, I guess I'm kind of rambling here. The main message that I'd like to hammer home to everyone is that nobody should be able to take you less seriously, ignore you, misrepresent you, or treat you as subhuman because you don't necessarily meet the Western standards of beauty. And the media certainly does do a great job as painting certain types of people as being more worthy of respect and empathy than other people.
The best thing my high school boyfriend ever told me came when I was acting insecure about my body (overweight, size 10-12):
"Didn't you ever consider that I love the shape of your body?"
To this day, that makes me smile when I look in the mirror. Guys love women, our bodies included.
To the OP: Guys dig women with self confidence. Love yourself, and they will love you. Also, high school boys are (for the most part) idiots. Wait until college and after; it's a whole new ball game. Promise.
I have a lot of guy friends who often seem to forget that I'm a woman (or maybe it's because I'm in a long term relationship, so I'm off limits anyway) and have had a lot of very judgmental conversations about other women in front of and with me. Some examples:
"Her nose covers her entire face!"
"I could hide a child in that *ss."
"I think I would die happy sleeping on those tits."
But! Women, you know you are thinking similar things in your head, or laughing about it with your girlfriends. Everyone is a little bit shallow, and making fun of other people boosts your own self confidence too (even if no one here will admit it).
And now to the redeeming part:
Those same guys are not as shallow as the above would make them seem. When we got right down to it, the girls that they want to date are proportional with nice personalities. They can be a little heavy or athletic, but it's all about carrying yourself well and just being a decent human being. I also have a couple of guy friends that like large breasts and everything that goes with it ( "I like to have something to cuddle. Bones aren't cuddly.")
Which brings me to the "Hot Scale". This scale is determined by not only physical attractiveness, but the ability to hold a decent conversation and other factors. For example, a slightly overweight girl who plays video games and watches action movies beats a thinner, prettier girl who can barely operate a remote. Gorgeous, but no brains? Goes down the scale. Average and loves the same obscure band? Up the scale.
Many of our other conversations go like this:
#1 "I'm bringing my friend xyz over too."
#2 "Is she pretty?"
#1 "She's a little plain, but really sweet. I'd date her if she was single."
AND
#1 "So how was last night with abc."
#2 " Eh. She was hot, but dumb as rocks and mean. Never again!"
Original Post by snowbuggy:
To the OP: Guys dig women with self confidence. Love yourself, and they will love you. Also, high school boys are (for the most part) idiots. Wait until college and after; it's a whole new ball game. Promise.
I have a lot of guy friends who often seem to forget that I'm a woman (or maybe it's because I'm in a long term relationship, so I'm off limits anyway) and have had a lot of very judgmental conversations about other women in front of and with me. Some examples:
"Her nose covers her entire face!"
"I could hide a child in that *ss."
"I think I would die happy sleeping on those tits."
But! Women, you know you are thinking similar things in your head, or laughing about it with your girlfriends. Everyone is a little bit shallow, and making fun of other people boosts your own self confidence too (even if no one here will admit it).
And now to the redeeming part:
Those same guys are not as shallow as the above would make them seem. When we got right down to it, the girls that they want to date are proportional with nice personalities. They can be a little heavy or athletic, but it's all about carrying yourself well and just being a decent human being. I also have a couple of guy friends that like large breasts and everything that goes with it ( "I like to have something to cuddle. Bones aren't cuddly.")
Which brings me to the "Hot Scale". This scale is determined by not only physical attractiveness, but the ability to hold a decent conversation and other factors. For example, a slightly overweight girl who plays video games and watches action movies beats a thinner, prettier girl who can barely operate a remote. Gorgeous, but no brains? Goes down the scale. Average and loves the same obscure band? Up the scale.
Many of our other conversations go like this:
#1 "I'm bringing my friend xyz over too."
#2 "Is she pretty?"
#1 "She's a little plain, but really sweet. I'd date her if she was single."
AND
#1 "So how was last night with abc."
#2 " Eh. She was hot, but dumb as rocks and mean. Never again!"
I LOVE this post(: I'm going into high school & I'm soooo nervous. My brother had tons of girlfriends in highschool and I'm very unpopular. I doubt I'll have 1 boyfriends. I don't want to be judged by it; I am shy and all boys notice right now are outgoing girls.
Girl, I bet there are plenty of boys that like you, but you've been too shy to notice :)
The best thing I can say to that is to join a club or a sport that you like. It can be anything you think is fun or might be fun. If you're enjoying yourself, it'll show through and give you plenty of opportunities to talk to boys about something you have in common.
Original Post by snowbuggy:
Girl, I bet there are plenty of boys that like you, but you've been too shy to notice :)
The best thing I can say to that is to join a club or a sport that you like. It can be anything you think is fun or might be fun. If you're enjoying yourself, it'll show through and give you plenty of opportunities to talk to boys about something you have in common.
Thanks you:) I'm planning on joining track
I'm a 17 year old girl (34-27-37.5) and am about average. I'm smaller than many girls I see, and in fact, now that I've moved to Atlanta, ga, plenty of guys my age like the girls that weigh 10-20 lbs more than me. I want to lose a little weight, not for guys, but for myself, but it really depends on where you live. The teen guys here love it, but back in the city I lived in in Texas, thinner was usually better.
well, anyway, healthy is best not too thin, not too big.
also, yeah it's true if you are shy and don't present yourself as approachable, many guys won't say a thing, even if you notice they stare a lot. As the Bible says: "Show thyself to be friendly."
This is helpful not only in meeting guys, but in making friends too, especially if you are new (as I am). I've already had people talk to me just by showing myself to be a friendly and easily approachable person.
Smile, too. Hope that helps.
Wow. From the looks of all these posts, it seems a lot of us girls are really being hurt by the media's influence.
When I talked to my guy friends about this sort of thing, I remember a comment being that "girls aren't the only ones affected by the media."
Every "hot" or successful guy is shown with a gorgeous, skinny girl. So to impress the other guys and keep up a manly ego, you "should" date and be seen with only gorgeous skinny girls, otherwise the other men will think less of a guy.
It's a tough world for both sides. :[ Luckily, there are sweethearts in the world that look past what the media tells them to value. :] Sometimes, it just takes the boys a while to grow up and mature.
The fact that most of you girls posting are trying to look your best and take care of your bodies is such a good quality, a guy really treasures a woman who wants to look nice (not unrealistic, but nice :)) for him.
Even at twenty and still in college, seeing some of the media inspired girls walking around...I do kind of get discouraged. But stay strong! :]
Original Post by hedgren:
The original poster of this thread hasn't logged on in over a year and a half.
While I can see there are lots of positive comments that have been woven into this thread, I also wish the whole thread would just be retired.
How healthy is it to see the title of this thread on this forum up at the top of the posts day in and day out?
Her last journal entry involved responses from long time posters warning her of the dangers of her extreme dieting.
Every time I see this thread, I wonder if she is still alive.
She had anorexia.
This topic in general is discreditable. Haven't read any of the posts...don't need to ....and don't want to. Won't be looking at this thread again.
Hopefully it will enlighten those to think before they speak in regards to the original OP's post. Anorexia is a deadly disease... I've been in her shoes.
You are amazing Hedgren.
...Truly amazing and so right from every aspect.
