Young Calorie Counters
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Um...I want to look like a boy...


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Okay, this is really awkward, but I'm trying to get the figure of a boy. Initially I figured it meant being stick-thin, and I was willing to do it in order to get the body I want, but now I don't think it's so healthy. I'm 17, 5 feet 4 inches, 115 pounds, um...measurements are 33(bust)-26(waist)-34(hips). (I don't mean to brag, but I think that's a pretty good figure...nice n' curvy...if that's what I wanted.) I'm not transgendered, I'm bigendered which means that I identify with being both male and female, but not at the same time. It's sort of like having a split personality only it's a boy...that's the easiest way to explain it. So anyways, gender-issues asside, I'm now eating somewhere between 950-1200 calories a day with little excersize. The tool here said that 1200 would be good for me if I wanted to be 108 by Christmas, but that seems strange to me. Is there anyone at ALL who knows what I can do to get where I want and stay thin, not muscular, and above all, healthy? If you don't understand my personal issues, I'd still like to hear what you have to say...but be kind. :)

22 Replies (last)

Well, first of all, eating under 1200 calories IS NOT HEALTHY. I'm sure tons of people are going to tell you better reasons then I'm able to, but it's not. Especially being only 17.

Your best bet is to gain muscle if you truly want a more male figure. If you don't bulk up some, you're always going to be curvy. You can gain abs and muscle in your arms without being fat.

I think you really need to figure out exactly what you want because you sound really conflicted. You want to have more of a male look but you don't want to be muscular? Have you experimented with your hair and what you wear? Personally, when I was dating exclusively women, I wore a lot of men's pants, baggy T's, and had my hair cropped short and often times was mistake for a male (despite my 36-D chest!) However, when I wanted to look female, I could just throw on a tank top and put on a little make up and wa-la! Even still wearing my baggy pants it was a noticable difference.

But really, what you're eating now isn't healthy. You need to up your cals and work out a little more. That's a much more healthy way to keep yourself thin.

(On another note, if you need to vent about your life, which when I was that age I wish I had someone to vent too because people at school were pretty **** to me, then I'm here.)

i don't expect you to answer this here, but why do you want to look like a boy? 

honestly, i could ask and say lots of things, but i don't think this is a subject for an open forum.  i've worked with youth for many years--especially girls--and am doing my master's thesis on the intersections between disordered eating, substance abuse, and self injury.  if you want to talk, PM me (i promise it won't get into my thesis without your explicit written permission).

Okay, this might come off as rude considering i don't know the whole situation, but let me say that's not right. I'm 98 pounds at 5'3.25'', and let me tell you I LOOK LIKE A BOY. how do i know? i have no curves/butt/boobs and i'm told many times a day. it isnt attractive in the least.

runnabe, slow down for a second.  think about why a teenaged girl might want to look like a boy.  it's probably not because she wants to be a boy, but because she wants to feel safe in a world that is often unsafe for teenaged girls.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

runnabe, slow down for a second.  think about why a teenaged girl might want to look like a boy.  it's probably not because she wants to be a boy, but because she wants to feel safe in a world that is often unsafe for teenaged girls.

Wow. You just issued a complex psychological diagnosis to a person who posted one paragraph about themselves (and wanting to lose weight). And a very assumptious one at that. Unless you talk to this girl, you have virtually no way of knowing why she wants to look like a boy.

Be a responsible adult. Instead of telling her what she is, ask her.

That sounded a lot more like a broad generalization than a "diagnosis"

Shelby, I think we may be in similar situations, except you're very light to begin with (I'm currently trying to lose my excess weight). As someone recommended above, you might want to start working on your muscles - not aiming for a 'beefcake' look, but just to give more definition to your arms/stomach/legs. PLEASE eat healthy and enough.

Also, seems that you're naturally disposed to having an hourglass figure (like me, grr). Have you thought of binding tops? You can either wear tight tops underneath T-shirts, or look into chest-binding:

http://www.ftmguide.org/binding.html

Short hair also helped to boost my confidence. I've been called 'young man' once or twice by strangers. It felt awesome. :)

---

To pgeorgian - I like being a woman. I enjoy the social and psychological aspects of being a woman. But not the physical. End of story.

To pgeorgian - I like being a woman. I enjoy the social and psychological aspects of being a woman. But not the physical. End of story.

 was i talking to you?

Original Post by pgeorgian:

To pgeorgian - I like being a woman. I enjoy the social and psychological aspects of being a woman. But not the physical. End of story.

was i talking to you?


No, sorry. I really wasn't trying to be rude, and I apologise if that is how I came off. Seeing as this is your field of work I thought you might be curious to see why I am the way I am (just the way you wanted to know about shelbylouise). I'm really not a horrible person, but it struck a nerve seeing someone's life generalised like that. Sorry. Can we still be friends?

of course.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

of course.

Laughing

shelbylouise, however you want to look, you will need 1500 calories to lose weight safely while you're in your teens, more if you exercise.  Unfortunately the tools on CC are geared for adults and not teens.

bicycles' suggestions of binding would certainly work, so would double sports bras.  BTW, most boys have muscles so some weight lifting would actually help you,  most women will never bulk up too much no matter how much weight lifting they do.


I respect that you want to look like a boy, but looking stick-thin is not gonna get you that. I am 5'4'' and 108 and I still have my curves, this doesnt meant you can go this low or any lower and be healthy. right now I am NOT healthy and I need to gain....the lowest you should drop is 110....and thats still pretty low. Also eating the amount you're eating will only make you end up with an ED that will destroy your life. In the long run you'll lose your teeth, have osteoporosis by the age of 40, lose all your hair, have bladder and kidney problems, even heart failure, but the list is endless....So all in all, you'll look like a boy yes, a sick one.

I suggest trying exercise, but keep eating more....bulk up if you want to look like a boy. Stick-thin figures are not attractive, not even for guys.

 

Another thing you can do to be thinner and healthier is eat a lot more than this, over 2,000+ cals a day but become a runner. People who hare long distance runners,and competitors, have extremely slim figures, but they are healthy..Still they have to eat a lot to compensate for their exercise, that is if they dont want to die of a heart attack. Women have to be careful, because no matter how much you want ot be a boy you have your menstruation, which is something that is important for a woman to have for optimum health. Without your period, not only are you infertile but you arent getting enough calcium, hence the calcium and iron defiencies that will give you osteoporosis and anemia.

Just be careful ok? You dont want to be unhealthy just for looks. I was anorexic, and I wish I never was as selfish as to do anything just to have a stick-thin figure. Its not worth it.

Original Post by bicycles:

Shelby, I think we may be in similar situations, except you're very light to begin with (I'm currently trying to lose my excess weight). As someone recommended above, you might want to start working on your muscles - not aiming for a 'beefcake' look, but just to give more definition to your arms/stomach/legs. PLEASE eat healthy and enough.

Also, seems that you're naturally disposed to having an hourglass figure (like me, grr). Have you thought of binding tops? You can either wear tight tops underneath T-shirts, or look into chest-binding:

http://www.ftmguide.org/binding.html

Short hair also helped to boost my confidence. I've been called 'young man' once or twice by strangers. It felt awesome. :)

---

To pgeorgian - I like being a woman. I enjoy the social and psychological aspects of being a woman. But not the physical. End of story.

 

Hi there! Thanks for your concern, it's good to talk to someone who really does understand personally. I've tried binding in private, but never in public and when I'm feeling especially boyish I wear baggy layers...boy's jeans and t-shirts. My parents laugh at me sometimes and so do my friends...they don't understand but that's okay. Like I said, it's good to talk to someone who gets it. I do have short hair, and have since I was 11.

The reason that I've resorted to this is that most of my friends (who are boys of course) are all super-thin. It's strange how when someone sees a skinny girl, they know that she most likely had to work really hard for it, but skinny boys are just skinny boys. My one friend eats like such a pig and if he sucks in his stomach he can fit his fist under his ribs! It's absolutely crazy! I guess I just look at them all day and feel like I don't fit in unless I have sharp elbows and knuckles.

I know what you mean, saying that you like the social and psycological aspects of being a woman...guys can be so stupid sometimes, can't they? haha...just joking...sort of. I swear, if I wasn't there to take care of them my boys would have gotten in so much trouble on various occations.

Thanks for your advice, too. I am going to start eating a little more, but the thing is I've never been a huge eater anyways. I'll just have to make healthier choices and work out more.  

 

 

I just want to say, and this took me a long time to realize, you don't have to give up your femininity to be one of the guys. About 90% of my friends are guys. While I often feel awkward around them because I'm "the chick," they rarely realize it and all my awkwardness is personal. They could care less. I've gradually come to accept that and began wearing more feminine attire again.

However, it's when I hang out with girls that I stick out like a clown at a funeral. =/ Even if I'm just around other women that I don't know, I feel completely put-off and totally unsure how to relate. It kinda sucks, but whatever, guys are more fun and less judgemental to hang out with.

But that's ultimately for you to figure out. Life had a pretty steep learning curve for me.

Im a bit like this too. I have always been a bit of a tomboy, as long as I can remember. I always liked stuff like pokemon, I've worn boy's clothes and so on... I had more boys as my friends when I was little, and even nowadays I get along with guys very well, but just as friends. I hate the thought of getting a boyfriend, no no NO!

My mom always praises my curves and keeps complaining about me wearing only my baggy camouflage pants and tent resembling hoodies that hide my curves just about perfectly.  I dont care what she says, I would personally rather have a boy-like butt and chest. I'd also LOVE to have strong and somewhat visible arm muscles! But I dont consider myself transgendered. I'd just like to be a girl not a woman.

 I would personally rather have a boy-like butt and chest. I'd also LOVE to have strong and somewhat visible arm muscles! But I dont consider myself transgendered. I'd just like to be a girl not a woman.

 I felt this way for a long time and just thought that I was a tomboy...I had a lot of issues around my sexuality, I'm not a lesbian, I'm not transgendered and for a long time I was really depressed because I just thought that I was a freak without a name. Recently, I came accross the term 'bigendered' and it really seemed to resonate for me, seeing as how I'd rather have a boy's body, but I don't hate my own, I relate to guys more than girls but I don't feel like a chick, and how sometimes I switch back and forth from feeling like I should be a boy one day and feeling like I should be a girl the next. It is honestly like having a dual personality only the other one is a boy...that's really what it feels like. I dunno, maybe I'm even more messed up than I realize, but until I figure out what I am I'm going to keep telling myself that deep down I'm both and to embrace both sides, it just sucks that lately I've been really depressed over these curves. I dunno...what you said just sounded kind of like how I feel.

It doesn't sound that odd to me, I have had several friends who felt the same way at your age including myself. (Only one is now transgender, one lesbian, the rest of us turned into boring ole women with no fashion interest)

When I was your age I did a lot of bodybuilding, had short hair and wore baggy clothes with sports bras. I worked in a restaurant and must have been told 5 time a day that I was a very nice young man. I was never told I was a nice young woman. I think it was the man arms. I know stick seems more "boyish" but if you are just naturally curvy stick may not work for you. You may need to go with a more muscular build. Personally, if I never ate again I would manage to starve to death with curves. I had to compensate by building muscle onto the curves to cover them.

I really don't know what to say towards this whole thing, but all I have to say is I don't want a physique like a boy, but I would love to have the metabolism of a man! Ladies are so unlucky. :(

Original Post by silentdeadlyrose:

I really don't know what to say towards this whole thing, but all I have to say is I don't want a physique like a boy, but I would love to have the metabolism of a man! Ladies are so unlucky. :(

Lol I agree with you 100%! I find it SO unfair when men/boys can eat so much! My 13-year-old cousin (he's a guy) can eat a stack of pancakes and a bag of chocolate candy a day, and he's STICK THIN... Gosh Im envious ;)

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