I am freaking out!

I have been cramping since Friday evening. I was supposed to start my period on this past Sunday but I haven't. I've been having cramps as if I'm about to start any minute. Now I'm finding out that I may be pregnant. I've had this scare a few times in my life but the tests were always negative. I guess I'll have to go get another test. I hate going through this. I do want a child so badly but I don't think now is the best time.

{{nenewa}}

i know you're scared, but it's all gonna work out! i'm sure your BF will calm down once he gets over the shock. talk to your doctors about a good work out plan during your pregnancy!i've heard it's supposed to make birth and recovery easier if you stay in shape.

when you get scared or upset, try to think about how wonderful it will be to hold that baby for the first time!  

I just came back from the doctor and they took blood and when the doctor asked me "is this a good thing" I started crying and I said "I don't know" then I said "well it's not really a bad thing...but it wasn't planned"  I just can't stop crying.

I feel like I'm dreaming. I'll be glad when reality hits. I'll keep you all posted. Thanks for the encouragement.

nenewa, congratulations!

Regarding an unplanned pregnancy, I've been through that and it was the scariest and most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.  You will have ups and downs while facing this tremendous life change.  But if you know deep inside that you want to be a mother and you have a good support system (cooperative boyfriend, close family/friends, reasonable job situation, some money in the bank, good health insurance, etc.), then you should be okay.  Good luck!

It's an emotional time, and of course it seems overwhelming! Your doctor was good to ask you that question, very non-judgmental, I wish they were all like that.

If you're not certain about what you want to do, there's a great printable workbook available for free here. It's unbiased and comprehensive.

Good luck sweetie!! Take reality in small sips, but do start sipping. ;)

You can continue to do exercise that you were previously doing.  I continued to kickbox until I was 5 months and I am 27 weeks and still doing tap, ballet, and running.

On days that I don't feel up to it I don't do it.  I just listen to my body.  I stopped doing crunches, pushups and leg lifts around 16 weeks because my core was changing and it seemed to put strain on my back. 

Congratulations.  I will reiterate that no one is ever ready.  We are on our 4th kid and these last two have been surprises.  Financially you just make things work because you have to.  Its incredible what you can do when you put your mind to it!

Original Post by nenewa:

I just came back from the doctor and they took blood and when the doctor asked me "is this a good thing" I started crying and I said "I don't know" then I said "well it's not really a bad thing...but it wasn't planned" I just can't stop crying.

I feel like I'm dreaming. I'll be glad when reality hits. I'll keep you all posted. Thanks for the encouragement.

I know how you feel. I got pregnant in college. My DP and I were kinda flying on a crazy wim..that we didn't need protection and baby would be great. AND IT IS!!! However, I had one of those moments at the student health center when the Nurse asked me if I Knew who the dad was. I was furious. THAT B*tch. How dare she compare the rest of the promistcuous girls that come through the door. When I said yes, she went on to ask me if I wanted to keep "it". I was sick and didn't feel well. I told her YES. I was so upset by the whole epxerience I told all of my friends not to go there if they were pregnant...just og ot a REAL MD.

My one piece of advice though. While you have been going to the same Doc for much of your womans health its very possible that doctor isn't right for your birthing and pregnancy Goals. My advice spend at least 3 to 4 months "shopping" for the Midwife or OB that will listen to you. That has your goals for childbirth and pregnancy health in mind. One my friends who advocates informed child birth choices, says Women spend more time shopping for the right clothes and cars than  they do shopping for a Care provider to attend their Labor.

Good luck. Everything will and does work out. Trust me. My DP and I were both Juniors in college living on Financial Aid checks and a few dollars from odd jobs. :) LIfe is great with my 3 year old.

When I said yes, she went on to ask me if I wanted to keep "it"

Because, of course, the only women who have abortions are whores. Wow.

To weddingmama:

Nurses, doctors and social workers are trained to ask the questions that will, overall, be the least awkward. If a certain proportion (even a relatively small minority) of the pregnant girls you see are unsure about paternity, you are playing with fire to say "have you told the guy yet?" because then she might simply shut off from shame and not feel safe telling you the truth. You would be making another assumption. By asking you "do you know who the father is?" the nurse was not assuming that you didn't - she just wasn't assuming you did, either. It's a neutral question, or at least is intended to be one. It's unfortunate that it wasn't understood that way.

Same with the question "are you going to keep it" - she's not assuming that you want an abortion, she's just not assuming you don't. Considering that about half of unplanned pregnancies do end in abortion, that's a reasonable consideration. If she had said "you don't know who the father is, do you?" and "you're not going to keep it, are you?": THAT would have been rude and full of assumptions. What she actually asked was neutral, professional, and appropriate for the setting.

And please don't be so quick to assume that most of the girls she saw were especially "promiscuous" - you know the definition of promiscuous, right? It's "anyone who is having more sex than you are." Just like the definition of a prude is anyone who is having less sex than you are. Risky terms, either way.