My friend is a bad food influence!!! HELP!

One of my closest friends just came to visit me for three weeks (I've lived in China for the past year). I'm so excited to have her here and we'll be traveling all over the place, but there's just one downside. She has THE WORST eating habits of anyone I know. I'm only 7lbs away from my goal weight, but I'm scared to death that gap will get larger while she's here!

Yesterday she ate two ice creams, a cream filled pastry, a big jelly roll, a bag of fill it yourself candy, and pretzels when we got home last night (I know pretzels aren't terrible, but half a bag at 1:30 am?). That's just in addition to the food we ate together!

She's always been like this and it's always been a struggle to refrain from overeating when with her. We're about the same height, and although she weighs about 20 lbs more than me now, she's not fat...not thin either, but just sturdy and strong. She surfs every day (I used to as well), and is on her feet most of the day at work, but regardless, these are not healthy eating habits!

The worst part? Since being here, she's made me feel guilty for being on a diet. Why? I don't know, but she keeps saying, "this is vacation, you can eat whatever you want" and other similar things. Yes she has a point, it is vacation and yes we're backpacking and being very active, hiking the great wall, taking walking and bike tours, but I don't care! I don't have any desire to eat all that junk. Maybe a bite, but that's it! I don't want to get guilted into getting fat again! I'm just afraid one bite will become two and two will become a donut, and soon I'll be in an eating pattern that's not healthy at all. What do I do? How do I stay strong??

I had the same problem when I was on an organic diet. All my friends would try and tempt me with Snickers and soda ON PURPOSE! Just remember how hard you've worked so far, and how close you are. If your friend tries to temp you, just stay strong and say no thank you. Bring your own snacks along if you know she's going to be stopping for snacks.

If she's making you feel guilty about being on a diet, tell her to just respect that you're watching yoru food intake, and to not push junk food on you. If she realizes it means a lot that you stay on track, she should stop making you feel guilty.

i know EXACTLY what you mean. I studied abroad and had friends meet me/travel with me, especially ones that love to indulge. which isn't a bad thing, but when it's ice cream, candy, fried food, etc. by the pounds that = big trouble.

i know when i'm around my friends i always suffer from being guilted into eating worse/go off my diet. best suggestion i have: don't focus attention on it. eat with her, just remember you don't have to match her bite for bite. and if she wants treats, let her get it. if she asks why youre not indulging as well, keep it as a simple "i'm not really hungry" or "i don't feel like it" or even "i would, but it might make me sick, all the richness and such" (lately since i've been eating healthier i've gotten off of preservatives and such and now when i eat anything at all with them in my whole digestive system goes off track).

and hey, she's right, you are on vacation, so don't be afraid to splurge a bit! just limit the desserts to one or two a day. not ten ;-P

hope that helps!

My brother is the same way. And I have to live with him!

I know he's kidding, but yes it is annoying and yes it sometimes does derail my progress. I usually joke back and tell him to stop, but if he doesn't I'll firmly tell him that he isn't of any help. If your friend is relentlessly pushing you to eat foods you know you shouldn't, I think you should tell her that it is a struggle losing weight and that you'd appreciate it if she stopped. If she is a good friend of yours, I'm sure that if you let her know how hard you've worked and how much your progress has meant to you, she will stop making you feel guilty.

If you find that just eating with her is tempting, then perhaps the best way is not to eat with her in general to help ignore her eating habits. Eat your meals alone and eat in line with your diet. Stick to your diet and your schedule and tell yourself that even though she's eating, you don't have to eat with her. Yes it'll be frustrating to watch her eat ice cream and cream pastries (oh gosh I feel the temptation myself), but remember that it'll be even more frustrating to lose sight of your goal.

I know what you mean.. My friend always want to go out for ice cream, starbucks, etc and they make me feel guilty for not wanting it. Also, I am trying to stop drinking since alcohol = major calories! and they arent very supportive of that..

I'm glad I'm not alone on this! It's really hard to deal with. You all have good suggestions though, thanks :) I guess this is always something I've dealt with to a certain degree with various friends, but it's particularly hard this time because we have to be together 24 hours/day for 21 days. I feel like she's probably as irritated as I am because (like most girls), she's always wished she could be thinner and my not being interested in her junk food makes her feel guilty for eating it, so she projects the guilt onto me . I'm sure my healthfulness is annoying the crap out of her.

Hopefully we can work it out, we've known each other for years . I just want her to understand my goal, which was to be noticeably thinner than I was when I was last home. I'm going back to Cali for 3 weeks in Aug/Sept and I haven't been back in almost a year! I just want to look good! Duh!

wow.. i know what u mean.. my friends celebrate everything with foods.. all carbs. what i do is.. i let them eat everything.. n i just take a drink or beverage.. i take the whole plate of carbs n eat very slowly but not even half of the plate.. i look like eating but im not cos i throw it in the thrash bin. i drink the beverage and sometimes the fruits or anything low calorie.

i totally understand how u feel n we feel bad to diet especially everyone is eating n having so much fun indulging the foods. once, 2 of my friends were taking a heavy meal for lunch. i told my friend that i will only order a beverage.. but they force me to order the heavy lunch meal politely but i refuse so my friend became a little bit aggressive n mean to me on the lunch table.. she was mentioning abt how ridiculous it is to diet.. and saying like how tasty the meal was.. as if i was in a position that no one understands me at that table. but in the end, i know i did the best thing for me. i can lose weight by doing exercise n controlling my eating habits. i dont care what they say.. if they dont respect me then i dont care abt them cos i did lost 5 kg in 1 1/2 month.. i just think that frens who dont respect us are very rude.. my advice is, just ignore what they say.. when i lost 5 kg n it shows.. the friend who was mean to me asked advice from me to lose weight. it sacrifices a lot to lose weight so.. never be influenced by our friends eating habit.  we can have fun with food but when we think we shouldnt eat it at that time n at a huge consumption.. do not let our friends tell us what to do.. we know what's best for us. u know what.. sometimes they are just trying to sabatoge our diet but i will sit on the table and let them finish eating n close my ears of whatever they say abt my diet. in the end of the day.. i dont see them that much.. i will be at home happy abt what i just did.

I was like your friend!I always liked to bring someone into temptation just to cover my binges.....so I can say 'HEY-she or he ate as much as I did' what btw was never really true...no one in my surroundings could eat as much as I did....so I think your friend has a problem.You should try and talk to her about it.As in for yourself do not give up on your goals.It is all a fake scenery that is not your life.

 

Good luck and have a great time together:)

 

p.s sorry if I am wrong but it does sound a lot like what I have experianced.My intention is not to hurt or accuse you or your friend,just trying to help:)

beate4 is probably either dead on or pretty darn close.

I notice that when I try to coax my friends into getting ice cream/junk it is usually to alleviate my own guilt! Who likes to eat junk alone??

Original Post by kankan213:

beate4 is probably either dead on or pretty darn close.

I notice that when I try to coax my friends into getting ice cream/junk it is usually to alleviate my own guilt! Who likes to eat junk alone?

 

sounds about right:(

As my mother used to say... 'if your friend put their hand in the fire, would you?'    Being friends with someone doesn't mean aping their every stupid move and bad habit in an effort to be liked....   Have the character to see what she's doing and ignore it.  I guarantee the day she stops surfing she'll blow up like a lifejacket with the toggle pulled!  50lbs overweight by the time she hits 40.  Put money on it... :-)