My friend is making me slip back to ED. :(

My friend is on her 3rd week of weight lost. She barely eat any dinner, work out an hour in the gym everyday, I don't know how much she eats, but she knew that I had eating disorder last year.

So she has been around me, asking how I lost weight last year, she would look at my calories burn on trade mil and say it out loud, she would say she is hungry but she say right out in front of me that she would not eat....

She is driving me crazy. I gained 25 lbs back from ED and currently trying to lose weight in the right way. I eat right and exercise...avoid binge. 

HELP!! my friend is being obnoxious! 

Break the friendship before things get worse.

That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all.  Have you tried talking to your friend about the effect she is having on you?

Allowing negative people to surround you is only going to make challenges you might face more difficult.  Maybe it's time to make a new, supportive friend.

I have been receiving help for a year now and until this point, I can live my life as normally as possible without any help around. I don't care about calories, I eat healthy and all. I haven't binge in a big big while, which I am very happy and proud of it. 

I'm not close with this girl, but we are force to have a "friendship" because we came from the same country (Thailand) and there are only 6 Thai people in my school. It's better to not have any problem between us.

But everything she said just remind me of how I acted last year. I must have been obnoxious to many people around me and I'm very sorry that I acted like that, but my mind was really distorted.

Anyway I can try to stay away from her or react to what she says politely? I'm automatically forcing myself to sort of compete with her in losing weight right now....and that's not good  

Yeah, I can understand not wanting to create tension between someone you feel a kinship too, even if you aren't exactly close friends.  

If you want to continue to be around her and you aren't comfortable with talking to her about the things she is saying, just do your best to be polite.  You just trying to ignore her without telling why will only hurt her feelings and maybe upset her.

And don't feel too bad about feeling like you want to compete a little.  My little sister and I are on opposite sides of the country, but we sort of compete online to lose weight.  If you do it the right way, it can help keep you on track.  Just try your best to keep a healthy attitude like you have now and don't get too obsessed.  

Find something fun to do when you start to get stressed!  Between studying in Amercia and school and swimming you have a lot going on!  

thank you :)  I will try your advice!

Good luck! ^^

And you are a very pretty girl!  Focus on that and being healthy and everything will fall into place :))

i go through the same thing EVERY DAY but not with friends...i live in a house with 25 other girls and they will eat a freakin lean cuisine or diet meal for lunch and dinner, with no snacks. or they'll eat a bag of veggies and a piece of chicken...basically less than 1000 calories a day and it's so triggering for me. I just tell myself that they are damaging their body so much and their metabolism is going to suffer. i realize that i don't want to do what they're doing because if i did then i would never be able to be normal again and eat the foods i love without gaining all the weight back. it's better to not worry so much about it. don't let it affect you but realize that this girl isn't a friend if she is willing to cause you so much pain over her own vanity. get a new friend and realize that you have come so far and are beautiful!! don't give in to ED behaviors and wreck all of the progress you've made, you will thank yourself for staying strong!! i wish you well :)

You all are very very inspiring! 

msn3rd702 - I agree with one thing on your profile -  lifestyle that I can maintain!! That's my goal!

chrissy1988 - I'm sorry to here that you have to stay in the house with other 25 girls...with that ED habit!!! You are very STRONG for at least keeping yourself very positive! And yes, I was partially telling myself in the back of my head that my friend is ruining her body. I once send an e-mail to her and tell her to be careful or else she will end up like me last year. She was thankful for my concern, but didn't change her habit. I guess I just have to keep myself positive like you!

Chrissy - very inspiring and absolutely lovely to hear here in the Health and Support forum.  Keep at it, champ!!

Charming - I think it's wonderful that you can recognize a detrimental relationship when you see it.  That's a very important step.  I think the others above have given you some great advice.

It would probably help to not hang around her as much. I'm not saying end the friendship, but just not have as a close of a relationship. ED's can be competitive and when you are recovering with someone that has the behaviors it's just good to take some time away from them.

Know you are doing this the healthy way this time. If anything, just remember all the crap you went through during the ED. How unhappy you were deep down inside with having to live under the ED's rule. You don't need that again..you need to live YOUR life and not live life for the ED.

Your friend is leading into nothing good. She too, will be in recovery one day if she doesn't get back on track. That is, if she doesn't become terribly ill.

If you have to hang with this girl, I would just tell her right out that you prefer not to discuss diet/weight things with her. That you feel a bit uncomfortable about it and would rather have your friendship based on other things. So as soon as she starts up with her *dieting* habits even if you have had this talk, just smile and tell her you have other things to do and walk away.

You are better then that and you are stronger then you were before. You have come a long way and remind yourself of that. You have a life to live, a LONG one that doesn't have to be lived in suffering. Be proud of who you are.

Good luck with everything. :)

I sorta have a friend like that. She barely ever ate so I felt like a pig around her - I'm sure my extreme weightloss was semi inspired by her. I remember weighing around 120 when she was 109. I remember when she was 103 when i was 108. I did end up being 104 while she was 105 ish. She's one of the few people i tell my body problems to (lack of periods) so I think she's consciously eating more around me now, trying to make me gain weight (which I have). I wish your friend could be more supportive.....

Hi. I have a mom who is anorexic and I am in recovery so I understand this. The thing is in life you will come across people who diet or have an ed and you don't want to have to always not be there friend or leave something because someone else does not take care. I had a friend who quit a job because it was a trigger with all the diets going on. Trust me I understand how hard it is to not have this effect oneself. I battle with this every time I get together with my mom. I feel torn but I am working on changing my view and to focus on what I need to do to be healthy. I have set some boundaries like no food/weight talk which you could do too or at times when you need a break because you feel you can't handle time together to take that time but hopefully not loose the friendship

Firstly well done for getting up to a healthier weight and please don't let this annoying friend mess with your head.

Just be aware that her daily gym workouts are not seriously going to be sustained and her metabolism has probably dropped way down due to not eating enough so she'll only end up putting all her weight back on.  If I were you, I'd just avoid her and if she asks why, tell the truth.  It sounds to me like she's heading for some sort of ED anyway by not eating and talking about calories that aren't even being burned by her. 

Also, I have to say you look absolutely fine in your pic I wouldn't ever think you were wanting to lose weight! 

How close are you to this friend? Is she someone you consider a truly close friend? Do you feel you could help her, guide her out of this hole she is digging for herself? Do you think she would take it on board if you approached her? Does she know you too have suffered an eating disorder? The reason I ask this is because if you do approach to help she may potentially take you that little bit more seriously if she knows you see the signs, know the dangers.

If she is not a close friend, cut the ties. Your health is of the utmost importance before all else. Similiarly if you try and reach out but she does not accept your advice, cut her off.

I lost a lot of old friends when starting recovery through my own decision because so many of them were image-centred and diet obsessed. Their influence on me was bad - damaging, even. I needed positive things surrounding me in recovery not only because I wanted to keep a positive mindset up there and then, but for the future, too. Recovery is a process and the choices you make in life will affect it.

Think of it this way - you can make new friends throughout life; you can't regain months or years of life lost to an eating disorder.

Thank you everyone for all the GREAT advices!! I will try which one will work the best!

Imy