Can you be friends with your Boss?

I recently took a new position at a start-up company I am 6th in line in this very new company. The woman that hired me seemed all business in the beginning but now she is asking me to go out with her on weekends socially. I don't feel comfortable with this! She makes me nervous when we are out, I don't know if she is counting how many drinks I have had and what their contents are but it's almost like she is keeping tabs on what type drinker I am. I feel like she is going to base my drinking on what kind of an employee I am. She makes little comments like well if you can't even hold your booze woman how are you going to make it in the real world. I'm not sure what boozing it up on the wekend has to do with my work performance but I don't want any part of it. I don't even enjoy drinking and I certainly don't enjoy being out socially with her. It's such an awkward position to be in, if I decline her offers she might be upset, if I go ahead with it im in for an awkward night of binge drinking with my arrogant self centered boss.

I need some help! Please! If anyone has had this happen to them before let me know how you handled it.

"Can you be friends with your Boss?"

 

Not if you understand class or hierarchy.  Bosses and workers are enemies.  Not friends. 

Not true, my boss and I have been friends for a long time. I have followed him when ever he has gotten a new job. He seems to find me something below him. We used to play racket ball together and work out together. We talk outside of work and such. Maybe it is different with guys don't know. We had a re-org recently and he is no longer my boss, but works on the same floor and still touch base. So I think it can be done, as long as you know where the line is drawn. He never had issues telling me I need to do something different or in a better way, but me being techie and him not so much maybe that is why, I could fix things and make him look good.

NNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!

Hmmm, I think it depends on the situation and work environment. But your situation seems very awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe just turn down future invitation to go out with her and hopefully she'll get the point.

It does depend on the work sotuation. I have 2 jobs. In the mornings I work in a office. We hang out with him once a year, he likes to call it a "Christmas party". I call it "2 hours of bullsh*t - stop wasting my time and give me my bonus"

My other job is a couple of nights a week at a restaurant. That's completely different and I hang out with the boss all the time.

I call it "2 hours of bullsh*t - stop wasting my time and give me my bonus"

LOL
Edit: we don't even get a Christmas Party or a bonus- damn my boss is such a cheapass!

I can but only to male bosses. I have difficulties dealing with female bosses. I feel super stressful around them.

I'd say order sth like chichi or pina colada....sth not too strong and not too boring....

wow. if you are uncomfortable or not happy DON"T go. what is she going to do fire you? if she does, then she would have fired you eventually anyway so why waist your time? jeff said it is sad when a boss really thinks her employees are her friends. it's like you are paying for your friends. if they don't have friends outside the work place then i think there is a problem with them anyway.

remember it school the kid with the candy every day had a lot of friends? same thing here only she has the paycheck.

so, my advice to you is to get out! but you have to do so slowly since you already (in her eyes) committed to this "friendship".  can you invite your friends? she may be someone that wants all the attention on herself and if there are other people it wont be and she will bore of you guys. or, start making excuses. not every time at first just every other or so. on the nights you do go out, order a bailey's and coffee or something and say, "i have to drive home so i can't drink much" that will make you sound responsible. i also used this one from time to time...go up to the bartender and tell him/her "hey, i am drinking with those people over there and i will be drinking diet coke only. so if anyone orders me a rum and coke, it is dirt coke only. i don't care what you charge them. i have to drive home and i want to be safe." i would drink diet coke all night, have a great time and drive myself home. i got the cokes for free and if anyone asked what i was drinking, i'd say, "rum and coke" saved me many times. one time they wanted one of the guys to drive me home because they thought i had had too many. the dude was so drunk i was like "no way!" haha 

hope this helps.

kat 

In some situations boss and staff can be friends, as in pp's restaurant example.

However in your situation, the answer to your questions is NO! Definitely not.

If you are uncomfortable spending time with her and WASTING your SPARE time doing it, stop it. She can't fire you for not hanging out with her, if she does not have friends of her own then that is her problem not yours.

I echo sportstergirl in everything she said.