Can Your Friends Make You Fat?

It's Monday, and I've decided to embark on my very own Fit For Summer Challenge. I'm making a conscious effort to lose weight for the summer, and I have about 40-50lb to go. Anyway today I was eating very healthy. I have toast and some fruit for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and everything was going well...then I was hanging out with my close friend, and she loves to eat food. Every time we get together I tend to overeat, and it sucks. I know that if she wasn't there, then I probably wouldn't eat at all, but she was eating Chinese food (yikes, I know), and of course I had to have some. Doe's this happen to anyone else. How can I keep my friends from making me fat?

Well its super hard when your friends bind your hands and feet and force feed you... i mean we have ALL been there...     -_-.    Learn to control yourself?

If you friend is really into food, try cooking with her, that way you control what you eat, and she gets to play with the food and eat a great meal.

Eat half portions when you go out or take out. I think if you eat a little more for breakfast and lunch, you might not overeat afterwards.

OMG - I think I know what you mean - its VERY tough to "be good" especially when your family & friends are not in on your healthy food choices. I've noticed too that when I am with my family or friends I over eat as well - face it most of us are social eaters...lol

I've only recently changed my eating habits - but everyday I talk about the changes in my food choices to EVERYONE - and for the most part everyone's been supportive.  So let your friends know what your doing and like "sroscoe' suggested - try cooking with your friend - take control!!

And once again - We're here to help!!!

PEACE -

Bea

Its tough when temptation is in your face, but you have to resist.  Its not your friends' fault.

The other day one of my friends was coming over to watch movies.  She suggested we order pizza - I suggested we grill some chicken, since I really didn't want to indulge in pizza.  She agreed, and we had a great dinner.

only you can make you fat.

Yes, I have certain friends that can be a bad influence.  I'm very much a social eater and can be easily swayed to get off track and overeat.  Does your friend also need to lose weight?  Perhaps you can suggest doing things together that don't involve eating like getting a manicure, shopping, going for a walk, etc.

That's a great idea because we are both eaters and both need to lose weight, however, when we go out I remind her to make healthy choices but she just blows it off and eats whatever, and before you know it...there goes my diet! Lol. I know I need to be stronger in my own choices, and she obviously has some things to work out, so getting out of the kitchen all together is probably the best idea.

I knew there was a word for it, I'm definitely a social eater. When I go out with friends I'll tend to eat even when I'm not hungry. I'm going to take you're advice and start talking SERIOUSLY about my weight loss goals to EVERYONE, and if they are really my friends, I'm sure they'll help me out.

i do the "one for you, one for me" thing. this weekend, me and my friend went to coldstone. i got a small sorbet which was 160 cals. (not bad, considering that was my dinner.) and he got the medium of brithday cake remix. (my favorite, at about 900 cals or so.)

we sat in his car, and he would feed me a little spoonful of his. and it was amazing. everytime he did that, i would stuff his face with a spoonful of mine (bigger than what he gave me), which in my opinion, evens it out (that's what i'm standing by, haha!!) . and i still got 2-3 spoonfuls of amazing heaven, while getting rid of 3-4 spoonfuls of my sorbet.

it always works for me and him, because he understands my needs while taking into consideration my love of food (and birthday cake remixes).

hope i helped. :)

 

Sure.....the same way they can make you jump off a bridge or play in traffic.  I guess if my friend jumped off the brooklyn bridge I would have to tag along. 

Maybe if instead of following her bad example you tried to be a good one she would be the one changing her eating habits around you....not the other way around. 

Sorry....Im in a snippy mood tonight.  But seriously......I made me fat. ME. 

The sooner people start taking responsibility for their own actions, their own eating, and their own weight issues the sooner everyone can stop dying from obesity related conditions. 

RESPONSIBILITY. 

My best friend is 5'5 and 125lbs....she is also 6 months pregnant.  We have been friends since childhood and see each other at least 2 times a week.  We have meals together at least once a week.  There is never a time where she does not offer me some tempting treat that she is overindulging in.  But I say NO THANK YOU.  Then I eat whatever it is I am eating and she always compliments me on my will power. She orders pizza and I order a side salad, lettuce and tomato only with no dressing.  Then I get the low cal dressing out of the fridge and have dinner.  I love pizza. I love everything about pizza....I could eat a whole one by myself.  But I dont.

Original Post by jennmary001:

The sooner people start taking responsibility for their own actions, their own eating, and their own weight issues the sooner everyone can stop dying from obesity related conditions.

Amen.  I couldn't have said it better (although I gave it a try a couple of days ago in my journal).

Unless your friend is holding you down and force feeding you against your will, then no one is to blame for you giving into temptation except you.

Finally!!! Their is a name for the symptoms I've been feeling, "Social eating" & "My friends are making me fat".  Yikes!!! Now that we have put a name to it.  What do I do.  Some are very disciplined others are easily influenced.  I can be easily influenced.  My friends know I love to dine out and drink, I would if I could, 7 days a week. 
Remedy:  I try to go to eat w/my friends that are on diets w/me.  Or the ones that live and eat healthy.  I can be a follower at times, and I don't see anything wrong w/that when it's a positive force your trying to emulate.  Just like you, the weather is getting warm here and I have been invited to alot of events.  I am standing up for me now!!! I have made a conscious decision to support my friends and their events, but I will not be eating unhealthy along w/them.  This is my life and my health at stake.

Good Luck!!

You are making a change in your life. They way you think about and relate to food is changing. If your friendships were at least inpart formed around a mutual love of food (overeating), then perhaps those relationships will also need to change.

You need to surround yourself with people that are supportive of what you are trying to accomplish, and people that serve as role models for you. Perhaps new friendships are on the horizon!

I totally hear yah! for me it is my sister.  Whenever we are together I overeat.  For example, today I was stressed out on an econ test and then afterwards I saw her and she convinced me to "treat" myself and then i/we ended up binging on over 1500 calories of chips and chocolate :( Now I feel gross :(

I totally get what you're saying.  My best friend is naturally thin, and can eat what ever she wants every single day of her life and not gain a pound...me? not so much.  I can eat some potato chips and gain 2 lbs., I've just always been that way.  Now, I know the two pounds will only stay on a day or two, but still, not fair.  So when we're together (which is nearly everyday when school's out), I used to let myself indulge on those days.  NO MORE! The amount of weight you can put on is insane if you let yourself do that.  Or at least for me. LOL!
As long as you just control yourself, you can still have days every now and then when you can indulge, though :]

Original Post by jennmary001:

 

  Then I eat whatever it is I am eating and she always compliments me on my will power. She orders pizza and I order a side salad, lettuce and tomato only with no dressing.  

We used to call this the Honeymoon Salad - lettuce alone with no dressing.

(Let Us Alone with No Dressing, Get it?) 

Original Post by mw4451:

It's Monday, and I've decided to embark on my very own Fit For Summer Challenge. I'm making a conscious effort to lose weight for the summer, and I have about 40-50lb to go. Anyway today I was eating very healthy. I have toast and some fruit for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and everything was going well...then I was hanging out with my close friend, and she loves to eat food. Every time we get together I tend to overeat, and it sucks. I know that if she wasn't there, then I probably wouldn't eat at all, but she was eating Chinese food (yikes, I know), and of course I had to have some. Doe's this happen to anyone else. How can I keep my friends from making me fat?

YES!  my best friend -- she did me in!  and one night, after we ate dinner, and she ordered dessert and SO DID I because if she did, i did too...i looked at her...and i said "we have to STOP this right now, i'm getting fat and i eat with you even when i'm NOT HUNGRY!"

and when i said that, she said "okay, lets change."

and the next day, March 4th, 2008, i started here again, and since then have lost 7lbs and a inches all over my body!  i'm finally back in control again.

we set up a system, that each and every CHEAT (items we were not allowed to eat: soda, dessert, chocolate of any type, any sugar candy at all...)  would cost us money.  also, if we didn't work out 4 times a week for at least 30 minutes at a time, it would cost us $10.00.

the money would go in a jar that we'd keep and figure out what to do with.

shes put about 50 bucks in the jar, and i've put about 15.00....

in a few months we'll have a bit more money, and maybe we will go out and celebrate our weightloss with a real dessert.

but peer pressure can kill you.  i was slowly killing me, and i KNEW BETTER, like you i would not have eaten, but when i was with her, we would eat.  you've simply got to tell her outloud you have goals, and you can start by talking about how many calories are in each and everything you might put in your mouth.  i hope your friends joins you, or at least supports you....because it can be terribly hard to break out of an eating cycle that someone else is dragging you into.

i'd also like to comment to the rudish things said in this thread:  suggesting if someone jumped off a bridge...etc....or just control yourself.... clearly you are on this website trying to take care of your health, so you won't be jumping off anything and you are controlling yourself by trying to find a viable solution.  i think you just wanted some validation that friends can seriously influence us -- and if anyone else suffered through that.

....social eating, as was mentioned in this thread, is huge huge huge.  its also typically a learned trait from the home.  i grew up no knowing how to eat proper, because my mother is an obese, binging, sweet tooth, food monster.  to this very DAY i tell her not to bring candy, doughnuts, etc to the house because i dont want it in my house and guess what she brings EVERY FREAKING TIME?  right. i throw the stuff in the freezer, and she just says "its for your son"...as if shes trying to push sugar like its heroine on my 6 year old. its very hard to balance a relationships existence or non-existence on such a trivial matter as food....so i can appreciate how hard it is, when someone is your close girlfriend, and shes bringing you down by being flippant about eating healthy.

for our emotional health we need close girlfriends...in addition to taking care of body by eating healthy, and its hard to feel like you might have to sacrifice one for the other, because you need both.  i'm sure you will find a balance, but i think being verbal to her (as was suggested as well) is the best answer.  she orders Chinese, you say outloud "i won't be eating any of that"  or you say "i only want steamed veggies"...then stick to what you said.  think of yourself as leading her down a healthy path. ;)

good luck, i hope you can reach solutions that work for you both -- but remember, you wake up in your OWN body everyday -- not the collective body of you and your close friend. 

Original Post by dbook1218:

I totally hear yah! for me it is my sister. Whenever we are together I overeat. For example, today I was stressed out on an econ test and then afterwards I saw her and she convinced me to "treat" myself and then i/we ended up binging on over 1500 calories of chips and chocolate :( Now I feel gross :(

as an econ major, i can assure you that you burned off at least 1000 studying for the test alone. :P