frustrated--always responding to others but never get a response

It seems that I spend hours trying to find valuable advice to give to others and to provide them with support but no one ever replies to my forum posts. I can't understand it,what am I doing wrong? I understand that my struggle is a bit different than that of many people but I still believe that we can help one another stay accountable and committed to our goals. I know some one my forums have been too specific but I even tried fixing that and still no reply. I'm just getting really lonely here. In case anyone was wondering...I'm 4'11 and recovering from an ED, trying to gain about 4-7 pounds and then maintain. I would really love some support!

Don't take it personal, some post get many answers and others simply don't, but don't get discouraged by it, some subjects are more attractive an timing also is a factor.

good luck! and keep up the good work

I don't know why, but I know that I do really appreciate your input though. I agree that helping each other is critical to our gain/loss/maintainence/accomplishing of our goals, no matter what they may be. Although I am actually trying to lose weight (I'm 5'2" ish, 105-107 lbs, and would like to be 102-103 lbs), I am willing to support you to reach your goal. If you need to complain, need advice, want to share good news, or anything, feel free to email/message me! Good luck! You can do it!

*M*

oops, sorry this was a double post!

for one thing, chrissy, weekends are dead around here.

for another, i've noticed that some of your posts are geared to a particularly narrow segment of the CC population.  most of us just don't fit the criteria of short people under 100lbs, you know?

if you open up your posts a little, i'm sure you'll get some good responses.  you may just have to acknowledge that bigger people aren't that different.

pegeorgian...i did acknowledge the fact that some of my posts are very specific...but i've noticed that others do similar things...like girls 5'7 5'8 what are your measurements? and weigh in for tall girls...etc. So, I just figured that even being a bit selective at least one person would respond. I don't do it to be mean or exclusive, just so that I can find someone I can relate to...at least someone who I would be more comparable to in terms of metabolism and energy needs. That's all. I know the struggles and the mental aspect are essentially the same for individuals of all shapes, goals, etc. but the numbers aren't the same and that's what I'm trying to gauge.

speed angel and gterv...thanks for the replies. I would love to hear about your goals. I know that it's not personal but I guess it still gets discouraging sometimes to always be responding to others but never receive the same support. but hey...what can you do? I will continue to provide my assistance and hope that others will reciprocate.

I'm sorry you are not getting the support you are looking for. I read one of your posts but didn't reply because I feel like I am struggling with something completely different than you are. I will try to offer help in the future if you would like. I am no expert but I think you seem like a nice person, so if there's anything you want to ask, I will try to help you. BTW, if you are aiming for your weight in the picture, I think you are beautiful in it, and good luck.

Original Post by neslis:

I'm sorry you are not getting the support you are looking for. I read one of your posts but didn't reply because I feel like I am struggling with something completely different than you are. I will try to offer help in the future if you would like. I am no expert but I think you seem like a nice person, so if there's anything you want to ask, I will try to help you. BTW, if you are aiming for your weight in the picture, I think you are beautiful in it, and good luck.

you are so sweet...my goal was initially the weight in the picture but i think a few pounds shy of that would make me the happiest. what is your goal? what are your struggles? maybe we can still help each other!! =]

"I don't do it to be mean or exclusive, just so that I can find someone I can relate to...at least someone who I would be more comparable to in terms of metabolism and energy needs."

I don't think pg's point was that you were being mean - just that there are a lot more 5'7" girls out there than there are shorties like us.  So if the, like, 10 people our height aren't online - or, worse, the maybe three who are short and trying to gain rather than lose - well, there goes your response rate!  (Note that I'm completely making up these numbers.  But you know what I mean.)

Also... of the 18 threads you've started, only three have gone without responses.  Some have gotten as many as 16 or 20.  Perhaps you're not getting the *kind* of support you feel you need?  (Or - to borrow a term from a thread of yours - your "compulsive checking/replying/posting" makes it seem like nothing's happening because you're hitting refresh all the time, only to find that, thirty seconds later, nothing has changed?)

i didnt realize you werent gettin the responses you would like... and i know how it feels!
when i first started postin it was a weekend when i had to wk and i was on here bored w nothin to do and no one was helpin me, then my threads got bumped and i got a little more attention..

i will keep a look out for more of your posts, chrissy.

youre on my buddy list, afterall, im sry i havent paid more attention

well being on the other side of the spectrum as far as weight goes I some how understand your pain.  I have always feared that because of me being over weight that my son might end up with a reverse eatting disorder.  I am thankful that he is not, alas he struggles just as I do. 

Do you belong to any group that gathers in your area?  I have heard that is the very best way for ED to be controled.

To gain weight... well when I go on a binge like I did last night I started with cream cheese and pecan bread, then jumped to nachos.  For me it tasted good but here I am this morning very mad at myself.  Eat a good Steak, put butter on top just after it comes off the grill. 

All those things I love, I can not do; but maybe I can help you gain some.  Take care, I am rooting for you!

Robin

rmcgrew2--i totally understand your concern about your son..make sure that you aren't exhibiting overly obsessive concerns about weight and body image because it can really take its toll on a younger person and lead them into ED behaviors, even if that's not his weakness as of yet. so be careful of that. i'm sure you're doing great though!! thanks for the reply

jesselou: you're a sweetheart and so funny...i read all of your posts and you're really open and honest, i respect that. 

nassira: i doubt that you meant your comment in any mean or harsh way but w/o smilies or anything..i guess it seems kind of biting and blunt. i know that some of my posts are exclusive and i've acknowledged that...obviously my compulsive checking would make it seem that people aren't responding right away but if over an entire week i get 0 replies then that's something else entirely. i don't want to argue about this..i was just hoping for support...that's all. maybe someone to relate to and share my struggles with, if i've gone about it the wrong way then i guess i'll learn =) good luck with your goals!!

hi chrissy.  i always see your posts in the threads that i read.  you always give really good input. :)    I personally dont relate to being 4'11 and recovering from an eating disorder, so I probably dont have a lot of advice to give, but as far as support is concerned, I think you're awesome.   And dont worry about checking the site too much.   Im on this site all the time.  When you combine a cool website with a boring desk job and school, I just cant help but be on here a few times a day. 

and you deserve lots of smileys!

Hey, chrissy!  Your helpful posts have been noticed!  Personally, I can't relate to your particular struggle as I have the opposite problem, but I wish you all the best of luck and much support.

Original Post by chrissy1988:

Original Post by neslis:

I'm sorry you are not getting the support you are looking for. I read one of your posts but didn't reply because I feel like I am struggling with something completely different than you are. I will try to offer help in the future if you would like. I am no expert but I think you seem like a nice person, so if there's anything you want to ask, I will try to help you. BTW, if you are aiming for your weight in the picture, I think you are beautiful in it, and good luck.

you are so sweet...my goal was initially the weight in the picture but i think a few pounds shy of that would make me the happiest. what is your goal? what are your struggles? maybe we can still help each other!! =]

 My goal is to lose 5 pounds first, then possibly 5 more. I am doing horribly, though. My struggles are finding time to work out as much as I should and resisting sweets, mainly. Apparently, I am very good at gaining weight (lol), so maybe I could help you after all. What are your struggles?

Original Post by neslis:

Original Post by chrissy1988:

Original Post by neslis:

I'm sorry you are not getting the support you are looking for. I read one of your posts but didn't reply because I feel like I am struggling with something completely different than you are. I will try to offer help in the future if you would like. I am no expert but I think you seem like a nice person, so if there's anything you want to ask, I will try to help you. BTW, if you are aiming for your weight in the picture, I think you are beautiful in it, and good luck.

you are so sweet...my goal was initially the weight in the picture but i think a few pounds shy of that would make me the happiest. what is your goal? what are your struggles? maybe we can still help each other!! =]

 My goal is to lose 5 pounds first, then possibly 5 more. I am doing horribly, though. My struggles are finding time to work out as much as I should and resisting sweets, mainly. Apparently, I am very good at gaining weight (lol), so maybe I could help you after all. What are your struggles?

my struggles are basically getting over my negative mentality regarding food...i'm doing pretty well..i've gained about 12 pounds since i've started. it's just difficult living in a house full of girls that want to lose weight and basically starve themselves to do it. so my struggle is not letting others' bad habits infest my mind..lol. so, how tall are you? how old? weight? goals? kids?

Good for you! Are you almost at your goal? How long have you had this problem?

All my info is stated in my bio if you wanna read it, but I am 23 years old, 5'2". My weight varies, but usually hovers around 104. I have a three-year-old son, but didn't gain weight because of the pregnancy. I think I just got lazy and stopped paying attention to what I ate for a while and the pounds just kinda creeped up on me. Now I am trying to get healthy again.

Wow. A house full of girls? Like family or roommates? Don't they support you? I hope they do, cause then you'd have a built-in support system when cc isn't there for you.

the girls in the house i live in are not related..it's like a dorm. i'm in college. so why are you trying to lose weight? i guess i'm a bit confused because you're at the low end of a healthy weight range and i'm sure you're pretty thin because at my highest i weighed more than 104 and was still not extremely chubby or anything and i'm 4'11. i've been gaining since aug/sept. and i think i am nearing my goal. we'll see once i get there though...if i need to gain more then i'll adjust. it depends on how my clothes are fitting and how i feel.

So, here's my big random response: I guess it's about the way my clothes fit, too. I have outgrown most of my clothes. Buying bigger clothes is an option, obviously, but then when will it stop? If I am just as bad an influence as the girls you live with, let me know, because the last thing you need to hear about is my negative self-image. . . What is your goal weight? And I'm guessing you're the one on the left in the picture, right? . . . It's probably just as good to gain slowly as it is to lose slowly, that way, you don't shock your system with a sudden increase in calories and weight. Not to mention it's probably better psychologically, because you have total control and awareness of the process. . Sorry I'm not making a whole lot of sense tonight. . .

no..you make perfect sense. thats exactly my mentality..whcih is why it's taken me so long to gain 12 pounds..i didn't want to freak and then relapse so this was the safest way for me to do it. i'm nearing 90 pounds and i'm 4'11 so not too much more to go and you're right..i am the one on the left..what tipped you off? the height? i would really work on not paying attention to the number on the scale if i were you, it can easily turn into an unhealthy habit. your weight is already incredibly low so you don't need the scale for affirmation of your goals being reached. use mirrors, tape measures, and your own feelings about yourself..don't let that be determined by a number on the scale.

Hey hey, don't turn this around. We are supposed to be supporting YOU! J/K. I'm glad you are doing so well. And I appreciate the advice. I really should just guage my progress (if I ever make any) by the fit of my clothes. . . And yeah, the height tipped me off. Not too many adults would be several inches shorter than you. If that were you on the right, that would make the shorter person not much taller than four feet. It's okay, though. I'm always the shorty in pix, too. It doesn't help that I have the face of a 13-year-old as well so I get weird looks from strangers when my son calls me "mom.". . . Thanx for the advice, too. Good luck with everything, not that you need it. You seem to have everything under control.   :)