Frustrated !!! Is it just me?!
So the aim is to gain...I'm getting frustrated with myself and my new habits, (not ever had ED just ended up underweight from illness/stress)
....its not that i don't eat enough, its that I seem to find myself eating junk all the time, and i'm worried i'm not giving myself enough nutritious foods.
I eat quite well in the day... As much as I try, i find myself eating junk food every night, like biccys, ice cream, sweeties and chocolate bars. I'd always have a treat each day anyway, but its addictive and once I have some chocolate I just want more and more!
Just don't know why my brain seems to say, its ok just eat all that junk coz ur trying to gain anyway, but i'm paranoid with all this talk of the damage of too much sugar!
Then i come on the forum and see people with perfect food menus and no junk and i feel an idiot!!
I guess this post is a slight rant and moan... but does anyone else feel this way?
It doesn't frustrate me to see what others eat, but i do get frustrated with how I eat! It was hard enough to get back on the weight gain mission-it takes work and more attention to what I eat than I like.
Now I'm also trying to give myelf better resources and everything in me just wants to get my calories any which what old way...
The thing that is weird to me is that here on a weight gain forum so many people talk about a standard picture perfect diet as "so much food" or talk about a portion controlled treat or calories in the 2000's as though that's something "extra" rather than how I'd have seen it--a way to keep the calories/portions down not add. really like something most of my non-gaining friends would think of as a restrictive eating.
I think weight-gaining is really no different from losing weight in principle. Few people can automatically judge what the right amount to eat is in order to lose weight or they probably wouldn't be overweight in the first place. You're having the same trouble in reverse, that's all.
The best advice for people losing weight is to make a plan.... map out the food day in advance, be well-prepared, avoid being caught on the hop, understand how much is the right amount, include a little flexibility rather than being too rigid... And the same applies to you.
If you need 2500+ cals to gain weight map it out deliberately. Use the tools on CC to work out what it looks like in terms of food choices and quantities. Fit meals and snacks around your schedule flexibly and if you enjoy biscuits and chocolates, make them part of the mix by all means. However, if you're getting 2500+ and you're still needing to eat lots of cakes and biscuits in the evening then increase your baseline to 3000 or 3500.... You're right, it takes work and attention..... anything worth doing takes a little application and effort. You have to do this process for several weeks until you get into a good weight-gain eating habit.... and then you can probably carry on solo and find it comes more naturally.
In answer to your last observation. Sadly, many people on these boards need to gain and say they want to gain but are so embedded in the self-imposed rules & restrictions of eating disorders e.g. 'good & bad' foods, gaining weight 'the right way' or gaining the 'wrong sort of weight'..... that they can't embrace the process wholeheartedly and are doomed to failure. Luckily you don't have to make their mistake.
So don't make their mistake.....
I eat healthy stuff. Lean meat, apples, whole grains, etc. I love veggies.
AND I LOVE CAKE AND CHARLESTON CHEWS.
If you see weight gain as a reward, I think it will make the process easier. The only reason you can't eat cake ALL of the time is because its terrible for your blood sugar.
Look, unless you're spooning lard into your mouth, other stuff isn't going to hurt you. TRUE you may have to pull the reins in the future... but that future is many pounds away.
Original Post by gi-jane:
I think weight-gaining is really no different from losing weight in principle. Few people can automatically judge what the right amount to eat is in order to lose weight or they probably wouldn't be overweight in the first place. You're having the same trouble in reverse, that's all.
The best advice for people losing weight is to make a plan.... map out the food day in advance, be well-prepared, avoid being caught on the hop, understand how much is the right amount, include a little flexibility rather than being too rigid... And the same applies to you.
If you need 2500+ cals to gain weight map it out deliberately. Use the tools on CC to work out what it looks like in terms of food choices and quantities. Fit meals and snacks around your schedule flexibly and if you enjoy biscuits and chocolates, make them part of the mix by all means. However, if you're getting 2500+ and you're still needing to eat lots of cakes and biscuits in the evening then increase your baseline to 3000 or 3500.... You're right, it takes work and attention..... anything worth doing takes a little application and effort. You have to do this process for several weeks until you get into a good weight-gain eating habit.... and then you can probably carry on solo and find it comes more naturally.
In answer to your last observation. Sadly, many people on these boards need to gain and say they want to gain but are so embedded in the self-imposed rules & restrictions of eating disorders e.g. 'good & bad' foods, gaining weight 'the right way' or gaining the 'wrong sort of weight'..... that they can't embrace the process wholeheartedly and are doomed to failure. Luckily you don't have to make their mistake.
So don't make their mistake.....
At the risk of hijacking another thread...
Thank you so much for your ever present knowledgable and logical advice gi-Jane.
I always look up to you and get excited to hear your input. You definitely seem to know what you're talking about.
You also help me stay strong in what I'm doing when I start to second guess myself with all the complications:
-some things you've reminded me
*Key factor is keeping that positive energy balance to gain weight, regardless of what that is [then figure out the ways I can deal with complicating issues in that intake level]
*I need a map and objectives to change just like someone trying to lose weight would. Of course it's not natural or appealing--but since when did you hear someone just loving being on a diet either?
Now regarding my particular "map" I have been gaining so far on 27-3000 so I'm keeping in there [so I'll be steady instead of 2000-something on a painful day and 4000+ on a good day: maybe ok for normal life, but not when I want my body to heal and stabalize!] this week--but the hardest part for me [besides the GI mess] is the makeup.
I wish I could just have biscuits [and cereal!] all day, but I know I need more fat, especially to hurry my period along and help with bowel movement difficulties [I have to rule out normal causes of dysfunction before I can figure any of the root issues there].
It's not challenging in a sense of "knowing how" as it is prioritizing what I "need" [nuts for a snack instead of toast, eggs instead of more cereal, etc.] vs. what sounds good. :-/
Thanks again!
P.S. Can I ask [or maybe I should message you] what you do for a living? Are you in the medical field?
this post is kinda related but may be going off topic somewhat...
"I wish I could just have biscuits [and cereal!] all day, but I know I need more fat," what you eating for the fats tears2triumph?
lot of people say on here they love peanut butter; and i see it so so much in the meal plans, i can't stand it and i dont like nuts!(think thats why i end up eating biscuits/chocolate as snacks!) im one of these people thats terrible for eating when watching tv, before i know it ive eaten a whole packet of biccys!!
Nuts just happen to be a perfect food for the weight-gainer.... energy-dense, nutrition-dense, low in bulk, portable, no preparation required. But there are others!!!! They might need a little preparation or be a little less portable but they do exist.
- Avocado.... either chopped on a salad or mashed and used as a dip or a spread.
- Salmon, mackerel, herring and other oily fish. Really energy-dense and brimming with good nutrition.
- Red meats... unfairly maligned in recent years but loved by body-builders and incredibly useful for the gainer. Needs some preparation, of course, but a delicious way to get the calories, fats, protein, etc. etc.
- Whole eggs.... The yolks are a nutritional powerhouse... all the equipment you need to produce a whole chicken, in fact!
- Oils, foods stored in oils (canned tuna, bottled artichokes, olives, sundried tomatoes), sauces like pesto, mayonnaise and hollandaise, spreads like tapenade, oils as dressings and cooking mediums. You haven't lived unless you've spread delcious black tapenade thickly on slices of crusty bread!
- Whole milk products.... whole milk, real butter, cheese, yoghurt, custard... mmm. All good sources of fats, calcium and other things besides.
- Raisins and other dried fruits.... don't have much fat content but are extremely energy-dense and nicely portable
Original Post by tears2triumph:
P.S. Can I ask [or maybe I should message you] what you do for a living? Are you in the medical field?
You can ask, but you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you... LOL! No I'm not a doctor (much to my mother's disappointment) but I take a keen interest in all things dietary for personal reasons.
GI you do give good advice and I can tell you research. You don't have to share but now I am curious on what you do for a living. I would of thought possible health care of some kind but now am thinking not.
On a side note I am not a health food person. I am and never have been into organic etc. My candy intake is so high and I had discussed this with my nutritionist awhile ago who said it may be for awhile even after weight recovery that my body craves and I overdo the sugar. The brain and body still wants quick energy even after weight gain.This is from the years of deprivation. I am just trying to also eat other balanced items and if I overeat the candy etc I accept it as part of the process right now.
abbi you are so inspirational. You give me hope about my sugar cravings too. But I temper all of it with good nutritious food and so I figure I'm entitled to the rest of the stuff. What concerns me is the hypoglycemia tha tI have but I think that was because of the unbalanced, poorly timed meals.
abbi you really are great.
magic and GI: Yes I know about the wonderful nuts, eggs, nut butters, etc. and that is my "dream diet" --the issue isn't "how" it's a matter of going against what I feel like. I don't care for peanut butter, I'd much rather have 800 cals of cereal or more fruit than eggs, and it's so hard to choose the nuts when a box of crackers and dip sound so much better.
It is a matter of prioritizing and I'm doing better--I just hope I don't cave in and go hog while on carbs and sugars after making such great changes so far this week.
-and abbi: the thing is, if I eat the carbs and sugars like I crave [as I have for a long time now] my fat intake is far too low. As a child I detested nuts, peanut butter, anything "gooey" so even learning to eat them has been a challenge for me.
Just like calorie counting to ensure a positive balance, increasing my fat intake is part of my plan-the whole point of all this focus on changing how I eat-for the health and performance improvements I'm after, and get my period back!
tears2triumph I have felt A LOT better since I started taking a Flaxseed Oil Supplement 3x per day. I stopped buying PB several months back because I'd lather it on anything and then I went through a "let's cut out all trans fats" (tell that to my cake love) phase and couldn't stand organic PB! Anyway, I take 3 Flaxseed Oil pills 3x per day and it gives Omega 3's and some good fat grammage. I recommend adding the oil to your life especially if you don't like the goo!
Speaking of fats... now I'm craving melted cheese... I'm having a love affair with permission to eat!
Awhile ago a nutritionist I had who was veyr well know in the ed field said that for ex if you need 3000 to gain once you get in your nutrient needs the extra needed calories to gain it does not matter so much where the calories come from. Unless of course you have some condition that needs a certain type diet. So having things like milkshakes etc are fine. It is true dietary fat helps one feel satisfied and in time it may help with cravings. Just because you are fueling now does not take away the long time your body has been starved. It is going to take time for your body to adjust. Also not allowing ones body to get too hungry. I know that for myself in the past and on here people "save" calories for night and that just sets the stage for getting to hungry and cravings. I take omega supplements for iflammation.Fish and flax pills but it is a supp and does not add that much dietary fat so you want to make sure you get in true food sources. Bsh you know they have pb now with omegas. There are a few kinds.
