Frustrations because I am a jerk....
I'm not sure where this belongs, but since part of this is sharing our frustrations.....
As a 200+ woman, I am extrememly frustrated with the amount of posters on here who are 110lbs or 120lbs and worried about flexing that 1-5lbs and becoming "unhealthy". I understand everyone has different perceptions in their minds, I understand that this is a site for everyone, but as a newbie, its hard to want to read thru all the forums and simply get more frustrated because 111 become 112 with a night time weighing or "today was an off day, so I only ran 68 miles instead of my usual 110." I know, I exaggerate, but still....
Perhaps we could section this off a little better with workouts less then 20 minutes, or weight groupings.....not just because of my pettiness and jealousy, which I am 100% aware of that is what it is, but maybe to help group us more appropriately for support with our own struggles as well.
I'm sorry. It was a selfish rant and probably very unjustified to many here. And I know I am being self-centered and very much a jerk here. I just needed to vent.
I know what you mean, you just want to find people in similar situations as you. This site is good for everybody whatever level they are at, and you can utilize the forums and groups to connect with people who are at the same level as you. Even if someone is at a different fitness level, you can still learn a lot from them. If I were you I would just take advantage of everyones view point on here to find what works for you and also try to connect with those in a similar position through the specific groups/forums.
Anyways welcome to CC and good luck! :)
You are not being a jerk!!!!
I've lost a bit now, some I'm getting into the 'normal' range...but I have a least a few journal posts about my frustrations w the skinny mini's trying to lose weight that they DONT HAVE to lose. It's hard when you click on a title in the forum and realize that it's so....not what you thought! Especially when it's in the weight gain section!>?
I agree w above, though....some of those people have been on here for years, which is HOW they got down to the 110lbs or whatever, and may have some good advice to give.
You can also find in the 'groups' section more personalized groups of people....I'm in one that is for my state, as well as one for ppl looking to lose 21-50lbs.....
Hey Gym Coach,
I totally understand where all that is coming from. I get mad at my friend because she always talks about how she's so overweight. We work out together from time to time and she can always push more than me and wants to go further than me and I get so frustrated at her. I'm like, okay, you are 115 and I'm 190 and you think you're fat, well what does that make me? But really, it finally just hit me one day and that's why I started really actually eating better and working out, this time. I don't want to be 115lbs, I would look very bad, just too skinny. But I look at old pictures of myself and remember back then thinking I looked so fat, but now I think, wow I looked so good back then. That's what hit me so hard. I have gained weight just from my food rants and candy binges. That might not be your problem but I just understand that my friend has gained weight from high school and I understand why she feels bad about herself. Everyone is different. The other day I saw a girl from high school and she was always super skinny, not like the cheerleader or anything but just really skinny and hyper. She had gained a lot of weight in her thighs and butt, which I loved! I know that sounds so bad but I just thought, wow it happens to everyone. Just like my mom, she has always been this little petit skinny lady and now that she's getting older she has gained weight in her stomach. She always complains about it, but now I think, yeah now you know what it's like to not be perfectly skinny and worrying about what you look like.
Anyway, my entire point is that I totally understand what you're saying. But you have to remember that everyone has their own demons, but more importantly everyone is like you. We are all battling our flesh. Whether it's to stay healthy or lose weight, we are all alike. No matter how much weight. No matter how many minutes of exercise. It's funny how everyone thinks that they are so unique and so different from everyone else. Just like you think that you are different from the 112 pounder on here, you aren't, she's trying to find relief just as you are. And shame on her to think she's any different than you. I applaud you and encourage you to continue on in this fight. It's a fight for a better life.
Been there and done that a trillion times in my years of attending weight watcher meetings. i'd get angry at ladies who lost 15 pounds nad became lifetime members in like 4 months, while I was trying to beat morbid obesity, starting at over 300 pounds nad needing to lose like 50% of my weight!
Anyway 6 years later I am still over 200 pounds but working my way towards MY goal
The only thing that really helped me accept was to remember that we all have different goals nad not to judge others based on their weight and whether they strive to gain, lose, lose 2000 pounds or lose 2 pounds - it's still hard for all of us!
Well, if you're a jerk, then I must be one too.
My problem is that losing (or gaining) 5 more pounds isn't going to make any difference for me. Neither is losing or gaining 50 pounds.
I'm just not shaped like a "real woman" since "real' women have curves.
I get really sick of hearing that, because there's nothing I can do about it. I will NEVER have curves. If I'm thin, I look like a ruler. If I'm even close to the middle of my healthy weight I have fat rolls around my waist. I look like a can of biscuits busted open.
I always feel like my character is being judged. I mean, if I'm thin (trying to FIND some kind of curve under there) I get accused of wanting to be a stick figure like the women in Hollywood. If I gain to a more normal weight I get teased for having fat rolls (even though my legs are skinny) and told that if I would work out more I would have more curves.
I work out six days a week. I CANNOT change my shape.
Anyway, I didn't mean to get off on my own rant there.
You are NOT a jerk. But doesn't it feel good to get something like that out of your system?
See...I feel like there are way more people on this site that are in your position weight wise. So when I post my scenario, I get pounded to a bloody pulp.
That does happen, yes....but I've noticed that when people get 'pounded' it's usually cuz they are looking for a quick fix, unrealistic goal, or it's bordering on an ED, which CC cannot support.
A big thing is WHERE you post....if you feel you get pounded, then only post in your GROUP forum, where there are more 'like you' (in quotes cuz I mean a general statement, not just you specifically)....not to say that ppl should refrain from posting wherever they want (I know I won't), but you might find more of what you are looking for if you (we, everyone) pay attention to where we put things.....
You're not a jerk. I guess it is really difficult to try to see things from other peoples perspectives, you know they live with this 10 or so pounds and they hate it, we live with our 100+ pounds and we hate it, some people would KILL to be 200 at this point, I know I would.
Everyone is at a different stage in their journey, and we all have different paths. I am sure you will get to the point where you will be annoyed with the last 10lbs, and that will be a great day indeed, relatively speaking! :3
Ha, I think we are on the same wavelength. I posted a similar topic about a week ago and it read...
113 and fat, really?
Man did I get creamed. It seems there are people out there who are 4'8" and really are considered overweight at 113. Who knew? It is beyond my comprehension to be 113 and consider myself fat. Of course I'm 5'6" and haven't weighed 113 since I was 13!
I guess each journey is personal and one person may feel beautiful and healthy at 150, another at 125 and another at 110. No accounting for personal taste, as long as you are healthy and feel great!
Say you get down to your goal weight.... you'll want to maintain it. If you see the scale moving up by 5 pounds, you might start to get concerned. You'll probably make some adjustments but if the scale doesn't go down, maybe you'll come back here for suggestions. Just a thought.
I have to tell myself that scenario all the time cause it does get kind of frustrating.
Original Post by trendstudent:
Say you get down to your goal weight.... you'll want to maintain it. If you see the scale moving up by 5 pounds, you might start to get concerned. You'll probably make some adjustments but if the scale doesn't go down, maybe you'll come back here for suggestions.
This is me. I have made goal weight and I am thankful that I was able to do so. And I wasn't hundreds of pounds overweight before, but I lost quite a few pant sizes. I am also 5'1, small frame, so my healthy weight sounds very low, and 10 pounds would actually cause me to have to go up a pant size.
I will be the first to concede that it is a longer, more difficult road for someone who has many more pounds to lose. I was fortunate to find CC and change my lifestyle before obesity. I noticed, however, that many people have the same attitude as the OP about anyone who is thin or just looking to lose 20 pounds. This is why, even though I am proud of my new body, I removed my pictures a while back--I don't wish for people to scoff at my concerns or advice because I'm not overweight anymore. (besides, my dog is a gorgeous hunk of a beast!)
Edited to add-- You are not a jerk, you are voicing what apparently a lot of people agree with. It does stink that people who are smaller are better off to not show their pics, though. No one likes to be judged according to their size, whether they are big or small.
I guess I just don't understand all the rants and posts recently that are so preoccupied with other people. Who cares. Do your thing.
I have never been "overweight" but have struggled to have a healthy relationship with food (which at times means weight gain). I have had heavier friends scoff at my bringing a salad to lunch or foregoing the (ever present) office dessert buffet. The comments go something like, "you can eat that, you're thin". My NOT eating it has nothing to do with you and whatever you decide to do has nothing to do with me.
I think it is much more productive and healthy to learn to be confident with your own goals and then other people's choices (healthy or otherwise) won't even be on your radar.
Good luck.
Wow - what a good topic - lots of remarks full of wisdom, pain and compassion - thanks!
When I first started at CC, I would wander around the groups and forums. Soon I found I was bored or impatient with topics or age groups that did not seem to speak to my concerns or interests - or who were just alarming in their stridency!
So I focussed in on groups that involved people my age, or people or wanted to lose the same amount of weight as me - I found my "home" within the CC community.
And tolerance and respect - yes, many of us could increase our skills in this area. I haven't much experience with on-line chats (this is my first site!) - but I hear that this is a common problem - people use the anonymity and distance of the Internet to spew whatever poison they want. Too bad. No one should be "pounded" for who they are.
"Be kind, because everyone you’ll ever meet is fighting a hard battle." (Bob Dylan)
everyones situation is different....people post for support, and what they want is someone with a few motivational things to say, and to some those people with a few pounds to lose are motivation...although i understand where you are coming from i dont understand why it bothers you...i am just saying how would you feel if someone posted a similar rant like yours that was bashing what you just had to say...everyones struggle with weight is unique and different...some struggle with a pound or two, that is less than alot of people but still a struggle, and alot of those people who need to lose only a pound or two if you look at their member since date have been here a while...i am not trying to be mean to you and apologize if i am but if you want compasion maybe you should give a little...
I just have to say....I've been on CC a long time, and I think this is one of the nicest threads w ppl disagreeing that I've ever seen! haha Which is great!
I think no matter what, weight is a sensitive issue for everyone, even ppl we might not see as having issues. CC is all about sharing those, and I think it's good that the OP expressed theirs as well, just as anyone else should be able to!
First of all, thank you to everyone for allowing me to vent. I appreciate that nobody attacked me, or even really the topic of this thread, which I was fully expecting and why I considered deleting the original thread. I appreciate and respect the fact that this may be one of the first "adult" conversations I have found where there is no name calling, no immaturity and just a discussion on the topic and I can appreciate that.
To all the people who agree with me, I feel a little better knowing that I'm not the only one who feels frustrated with that and am happy that we were all able to voice a concern here and get it off our chest.
To those of you that I was ranting against in the first place, I guess I never considered your side of things and didn't realize that perhaps some of you feel "discriminated" against in a sense on this site and didn't realize how many of you hold your tongue about your position because of jerks like me.
And to those of you who say support all, I do. Maybe I am more understanding and more supportive of those who are closer to my situation then not, but ultimately I am all for everyone being happy and getting what they want out of life. I need to realize that everyone has different goals and, as pointed out, I forget there are shorter women out there who 150lbs could be a ton of weight for their frame (for example).
For me, the purpose of the site is utilizing the tools to optimize my lifestyle changes and the forums and journals are a bonus for me. Tips, recipes and general support are nice perks to this and I need to look past what frustrates me. Honestly, I think the ones who REALLY frustrate me are probably the ones that have issues beyond simply NEEDING to lose weight and those are definately the ones that need the most support and guidance to get the help that they are needed.
In the meantime, I appreciate venting and I look forward to the day my skinny butt is here telling everyone else how I got down to a size 2..... :)
Everyone has really good points in here. I was actually going to say that there are groups out there that are for those of us with more significant weight to lose. I don't relate to the "OMG, I totally splurged and had an inch sized brownie!!!" But I can relate to the concept of splurging in general and needing to lose in general.
Anyway, some of you may want to check out these two groups. Wonderful, supportive groups. Although, it'd be great if I were only worried about 10 lbs, lol. I did a 10 lb loss in a week, but that's just because of where I started. I know there are others out there with similar weights, ages, etc.
You are most definitely not a jerk! You are human...
I'm 5'10" and started out mortified that I was as big as I was at 214lbs(down to 197 yay!), one of my best friends is 5'3" and I'm sure no more than 110 lbs soaking wet... So it used to bother me when she would start complaining about the 5-10 lbs she put on in the last year. But then I stopped and thought about it, 10lbs on her is just about 10% of her body weight, that was the equivalent of almost 22lbs on me! Eeek!
Then there is the other end of the scale, here I was at 214lbs and deciding that I am not going to let myself be this fat anymore! But my younger sister, is now down 50lbs and is now hovering around the 250lb mark. I'm sure she is sick of hearing me complain too ;o)
It's all relative I guess.
Hang in there, one day we'll be the "little" ones too.
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