Funny bad date stories

The bad boyfriend and girlfriend thread had me thinking....tell me some funny stories about bad dates you'd been on.

I have one: this guy who had a crush on me (and was a good friend, I trust him) called me one afternoon and told me he and his friends were going to an amusement park (a couple hours away) and they had an extra ticket and he wanted to know if i wanted to join them. I agreed even though I knew this guy liked me and I wasn't interested - I saw no reason we couldn't be friends. He picked me up and let me know that his friends cancelled (?) and wanted to know if I'd still like to join them. I agreed and when we got to the amusement park he didn't have an extra ticket...instead he bought me a $50 ticket :-P. I felt terrible! he was a nice guy but it was such an awkward day.

Bad date?  Hmmm my topper would have to be the guy who had no couth.  We were in a pub and he was watching the big screen tv's and the show King of Queens was on.  The actress in it had gained some weight.  This joker says in a loud voice "Boy is she FAT". 

Now mind you this is the first date we are on.

He repeats"Boy is she FAT".  "She used to be HOT but now she is just FAT".  Everyone at the bar heard this joker. 

I turned to him and said "You know, I didnt always look this way".  He stopped and asked if I was offended.  I said yes.

Date ended.  Next day he emails and asks me out again.....I decide to see if I could enlighten this person.  I very gently try to teach him about tolerance.....after the third email back and forth, I realize that some people are just plain ignorant and will always be that way.

He wouldn't say one damn word.  He just stared at me the entire time (it was one of those "lets go out for coffee" dates).  And I tried to get him to speak, say anything; I asked questions, for his opinion on things, everything.

And he stared at me.

It's kinda creepy looking back on it but at the time it was just so annoying.

I liked this guy, we had the same friends. He asks me out, we go see a movie. he picks me up, and on the way there we go through a speed camera, he gets caught, starts punching the wheel and swearing like a sailor. Starts shouting'F*** I cant afford that and the movie tickets aswell!

i say No no I've got money, he says no don't worry about it. okaaayyyy....

So we get to the movie, he says what do you want to see? I had no idea what was playing so he says what about this one? Its got Tom cruise and Nicole Kidman in it......EYES WIDE SHUT. I had bever heard of it. We see the movie.

What follows is the longest, most uncomfortable, awkward, emabarrasing 2hours or so of my life, during which at some point he makes this 'gurgh' sound and puts his hand on my knee (if this is too racy, let me know)

I flinched. He stopped.

he took me home, a car ride of complete silence. We didn't see each other for a couple of weeks, after which I think we had both tried to erase the memory from our minds and continue where we had left off.

Years later, it turns out he's gay.

Original Post by lafoutloud01:

The bad boyfriend and girlfriend thread had me thinking....tell me some funny stories about bad dates you'd been on.

I have one: this guy who had a crush on me (and was a good friend, I trust him) called me one afternoon and told me he and his friends were going to an amusement park (a couple hours away) and they had an extra ticket and he wanted to know if i wanted to join them. I agreed even though I knew this guy liked me and I wasn't interested - I saw no reason we couldn't be friends. He picked me up and let me know that his friends cancelled (?) and wanted to know if I'd still like to join them. I agreed and when we got to the amusement park he didn't have an extra ticket...instead he bought me a $50 ticket :-P. I felt terrible! he was a nice guy but it was such an awkward day.

The reason is guys will choose to be friends with girls they really have a crush on to either wait for a time to pounce when she has a breakup or something.  Or they wait and wait hoping you will come around and see how great a guy they are.

Okay now for my bad date story.  It was my prom and the girl had only told me she was interested in me to get a date, (she was a sophomore).  Then the night of the prom she didn't want to dance or be seen with me, and she only wanted to hang around with her friends that were there, without me around of course.  However, she didn't mind me taking her out to dinner, or having me for a ride to the prom after party which she didn't hang out with me there either, or for a ride home.  The icing on the cake was when she told me she couldn't believe she was there with me, and she couldn't imagine kissing me. :(

Now fast forward 10 years and I see her out in my hometown when I am visiting with my wife, and I might add my new hot body from working out.  She has total shock on her face and an envious look, almost like I can see her thinking wow did I miss out!  That was nice, I kinda felt sorry for her though, cause the years were not good to her, she had a drug problem, and looked pretty strung out, a guy had gotten her pregnant and left.  Other things as well, I think that is all I will say for now.

This year for Valentines Day (which is also my birthday) a guy I've been talking to for a while sent me a dozen roses. I thought it was really sweet, so we ended up going to see a band play that night.

I felt terrible the entire night, even before we were heading there...but I really didn't want to cancel. I got one drink at the bar, and didn't even get half way through it before I started to feel like I was going to be sick.
I told him I didn't feel well, so we left.

Now, I had driven to his house before the show, and we took his car to the place. I live a lot further away from the city than he does, and I don't mind driving. The entire car ride back to his house I kept telling him how terrible I felt and that I thought I was going to puke at any moment.
We pull into his driveway, and before I get out to get into my car, he leans in for a kiss. I do not reciprocate the kiss (because I think I'm going to be sick) he on the other hand, doesn't seem to care or notice...

Seconds later we say goodnight, I get into my car...back out of his driveway...and puke on his street. It was NOT a fun ride home.

I don't know if this is funny, but I thought it was strange that a guy would kiss someone who is about to puke...? It kind of confused and disturbed me.

Original Post by devilish_patsy:

Bad date?  Hmmm my topper would have to be the guy who had no couth.  We were in a pub and he was watching the big screen tv's and the show King of Queens was on.  The actress in it had gained some weight.  This joker says in a loud voice "Boy is she FAT". 

Now mind you this is the first date we are on.

He repeats"Boy is she FAT".  "She used to be HOT but now she is just FAT".  Everyone at the bar heard this joker. 

I turned to him and said "You know, I didnt always look this way".  He stopped and asked if I was offended.  I said yes.

Date ended.  Next day he emails and asks me out again.....I decide to see if I could enlighten this person.  I very gently try to teach him about tolerance.....after the third email back and forth, I realize that some people are just plain ignorant and will always be that way.

 But she is fat! I mean really fat! You see her on the earlier ones and she has a nice body! But then the later ones....she totally let things slide! Like christy ally!

You know...there ARE fat people in the world... just like there are tall people and short people.....

Original Post by loriklorik:

Original Post by devilish_patsy:

Bad date?  Hmmm my topper would have to be the guy who had no couth.  We were in a pub and he was watching the big screen tv's and the show King of Queens was on.  The actress in it had gained some weight.  This joker says in a loud voice "Boy is she FAT". 

Now mind you this is the first date we are on.

He repeats"Boy is she FAT".  "She used to be HOT but now she is just FAT".  Everyone at the bar heard this joker. 

I turned to him and said "You know, I didnt always look this way".  He stopped and asked if I was offended.  I said yes.

Date ended.  Next day he emails and asks me out again.....I decide to see if I could enlighten this person.  I very gently try to teach him about tolerance.....after the third email back and forth, I realize that some people are just plain ignorant and will always be that way.

 But she is fat! I mean really fat! You see her on the earlier ones and she has a nice body! But then the later ones....she totally let things slide! Like christy ally!

You know...there ARE fat people in the world... just like there are tall people and short people.....

 I think she gained weight because of her pregnancy. It was just baby weight!

The point isnt whether she actually was fat or not...the point was that he says it loud enough for the whole bar to hear not once, not twice but four seperate times. 

Yes the actress had put on weight.  But, did he need to gawk and exclaim it?????  A little perspective and a little courtesy would have been nice.

This last Valentine's Day I was asked out by an ex co-worker. I happily accepted, as I'd had a crush on him for a while.

The day started off great-- he sent me flowers at work, which were lovely, and I arrived home to get ready with a huge smile on my face. I had told my boss that he had sent them "for the studio" because he'd left on not the greatest note, and no one yet knew that we were seeing each other.

I'm home, getting ready, when I get a text message from my boss. "So... who are these flowers from again?" A moment later I get another text message from my date, "Don't tell him anything!" And then a third from my boss that's simply: "OMG!"

He couldn't keep a secret, apparently, and my co-workers all found out in a slightly awkward way.

Oh, and on our very first date, in an effort to be creative, he read to me from a short story book by Richard Russo, one of my favorite authors. Really cute but... jeez. Kind of boring!

By the way... we've almost been dating three months now and I'm pretty sure I'm in love. :-D (And scared ****!)