I cannot gain self control, I cant stop drinkin and in turn eating

I am a total mess started the year so well and after those first initial 5 weeks av done nothin put it all back on and continually fail at several more attempts.

Im in a self hate place. i get angry for lettin myself down and i hate my reflection. none of my clothes fit the way i want them to and i just cannot muster up the mtivation to sort myself out.

I drink most night, not much before anyone asks, well it varies. which results in major munchies the following day and tiredness.

im started bk at the gym last week and it was goin really good until this weekend n then mon and tues. im just so desperate to do it but im just so pathetic and i feel lost.

i feel like im destroyin myself, in body and in mind

Re-examine your goals.  What?  You dont have goals written down?  WRITE them down.  Put them in black and white.  What is it you want?  What kind of lifestyle do you want?  Are you aiming to lose weight? Tone up?

Be kind to yourself.  Hating your reflection and being in a 'self hate place' does no good for your aura. 

My suggestion is to examine your goals,  formulate a caloric and exercise plan to get there, visit your library and grab a few books on self-help (read some Geneen Roth) and climb back on that horse. 

We all have down periods.  The trick is to make them as short as needed.  Self-loathing can lead to damaging things. 

You are capable of anything you put your mind to.  Examine what you want in life and put it in concrete ~ write it down.  Look back at those goals when you are feeling low.

Start immediately.  Tell yourself that the pity party is over and you deserve better.

I agree with patsy about writing down your goals!  I made a list of goals at the beginning of the year, and it has been hanging on my refrigerator all year.  The constant reminder works for me.

And I know exactly what you mean about the drinking.  When I would drink a glass or two of wine every night, I would feel so sluggish the next day- plus my stomach would have this gnawing, empty feeling that vegetables would not seem to fill.  (Well, I suppose french fries technically were vegetables at one point, right? haha) And don't even get me started on how I would feel after drinking more than one or two glasses.

I have found that cutting alcohol out of my diet has helped immensely, not just because of the calories, but because I have more energy to work out and less hunger the next day.  I will still have a few bevvies on special occasions, but it is no longer a regular thing.  And, I found that I didn't even miss it as much as I thought I would.

You also need to deal with your underlying emotional issues.  Until you figure out what's making you act like this, it's going to be hard to focus on what you need to do. 

For me it took 2 years of twice a week psychotherapy to lay my old hangups to rest.  I didn't lose a pound until about 6 months after I finished therapy.  Then it was like that cartoon lightbulb over the head, and I could see my way clear to taking better care of myself.

Everybody has his or her own epiphany.

where and how did you get pyshcotherapy?

i have lots of issue with myself.  try to combat them myself daily, thought it was working but i always end up back here

Everyone thinks im a joker n happy, easier than to be real.  Nobody like a winger right

wow some one I can relate to, every morning I get up worn out saying today is the day I will not drink and watch my eating but by end of day as I'm driving home and pull up to the house the process starts all over I have no control. I do realize unlike alot of people who only have a problem with food we have two difficult addictions, at this point I wish I had some solutions to tell you but I did want you to know that there is someone else out here dealing with the same. I deffinately do know that I have a lot of issues that I may hide deep in my mind and most days I'm the bubbly happy go lucky person that jokes and laughs, but I'm really very unhappy. I feel for you and understand. Do you have support at home or are you also living with someone that has problems with drinking? My situation is I live with an alcoholic. I realize we need to do things on our own and for ourselves but when attempting to control these habits and you see the person in front of you doing it, it's so stressful.

Until you can find someone (therapist) to talk to, continue to use us as a sounding board.  Also, write your feelings in your journal.   Journals help one to let things out that normally builds up. 

Set small simple goals.  Like, I want to lose 150 lbs.  It is not going to happen all in one week....shucks not even all in 3 months.  So, I will set a 5 lb weight lost goal for the month.  Hmmm more realistic!!  Goals that you know that you can accomplish will help you to feel better plus will not set you up for failure.

Make a routine for yourself that includes a "beauty time".  Every night try out different make ups, hair styles, special bath soaps, etc.   and buy yourself nice sleepwear.  By morning time you are sooo into this .... you will feel pretty and more confident.

Have you ever thought about getting help for a drinking problem?  Of course, unless you realise there is a problem you won't but drinking daily or regularly is a problem and its not about the amount you drink its about the need to drink which is sounds like you have.

You may well be better off and more successful talking to someone about that issue before worrying about changing your eating habits as they will automatically change is you get rid of your actual cause of eating unnecessarily which in your words is drinking most nights.

Please dont' take offense as I am not wanting to be rude but often people dont' realise they have a drink problem because they rationalise they only have one or two and they dont' NEED it, but having had several friends with alcoholism issues what you say is ringing a bell with me.

i'm in the same boat pretty much. last night some friends came over and we shared two bottles of wine - and by shared, i mean they let me drink about four or five glasses. they had snacks with them as well, and while i tried to be good and just eat some salt and vinegar snackajacks instead of the higher fat higher cal stuff they were nibbling on, when they left later on i found a pack of co-op streaky bacon crispies that they'd left... and these things are 240cals for HALF a bag and i sat and munched my way through the whole thing. i feel disguuuuusting today. :(

I dont have a drink problem in anyway shape or form.

I like drinking, maybe too much but i can go without it at the drop of a hat.

My problem is, as with food, i use it as a comfort thing and to different extremes.  Sometimes i want 1 can or 1 glass wine just to chill out n then others i dont stop until ive drank 8 cans or 2 bottles wine.  The weekends are even worse sometimes.  This weekend i ended up drinkin 2 bottles wine n 4 cans on the Friday and on the Saturday i drank 15 pints of 5.5% lager.  When i finally came out of my deep comatosed sleep on Sunday i was totally totally disgusted wi maself and actually cud not believe id consumed that much.

Then other weekends i can do barely any drinkin.

Its escapism and my eating is truy horrendous. Weds i consumed 3700, yesterday 3000 and so far today 1500.

Ive wanted to talk to somebody for such a long time and i have got nowhere with it, i just get fobbed off with anti depressants and there is no way i am takin them.  I saw a counsellor at 17 and when he decided i was well enough and stopped treatment it backfired and i took it really badly, as a result of that and a bad accident i went completely off the rails.  I get edgy thinkin about seeing someone again, admittedly i havent pushed the issue to much with the GP, i found it scary how i let this person into my deepest darkest places and was totally vulnerable and he just dropped me and decided i didnt need him anymore but i DID!!!!

Anyway i see food as the answer to all my problems, wen im unhappy i wanna eat n drink to extreme.  When im happy i diet n lose the weight and i love it.  I blame food, the I blame myself, then I get angry which makes me sink so so deep within myself that i become really really down and it affects my appearance and personality and then....then thats when i binge eat and drink for as long as it takes to snap out of my self pity pathetic deep dark hole.

this is something i am startin to think i will NEVER escape.

~Happy go lucky and brasen, easy going and opinionated, strong willed and determined....thats who i really am, how people see me on a daily basis but that isnt my true side, not when i feel this way about myself, not when im in this place.

Ok, sorry didn't mean to imply anything just thought it was worth suggesting.

Would getting a hobby help at all, maybe something to fill your time and therefore leave you with less time to think about eating, either a group or even something to do at home like cross stitching etc.

I must admit my weight came from boredom eating, although I did have emotional eating times but mine was more boredom related and its still something I have to consciously watch as at night I can easily be tempted to eat when I am not really hungry.

Also I love food.  Really really love flavour and textures.  I fill my time now as much as possible with doing crosswords which I really enjoy so if I am at a lose end while at home and am tempted by thoughts of food I get the crossword out and distract myself.

May not help you at all, but I do really feel for you.

well now u say that lol, im startin horse riding lessons tonight.  im already a member of the gym but its just gettin me there thats the issue.  i love working out etc i get such a buzz but for some reason i always bk out of goin these days! let down or what!

im hopin this horse ridin thing will become a huge passion of mine n il go all guns blazing....thats another fault of mine im all or nothin-no inbetween

work is goin really well, progression and opportunity wise, im sooo snowed under its unreal otherwise id get a second job-ive had two jobs since i was 18.

it is all mental, im hopin its a mere glitch n il be straight bk into it mon. ive got to, i have no choice. ive gotta look good for these events with work coming up and interviews etc.  god if only they new underneath im a complete freak with no self control eh!

thanks for your input, maybe talkin on here will help me get out of this very unattractive self pitying rut!  its not like me to be this way.

Original Post by nutbox:

I dont have a drink problem in anyway shape or form.

I like drinking, maybe too much but i can go without it at the drop of a hat.

My problem is, as with food, i use it as a comfort thing and to different extremes.  Sometimes i want 1 can or 1 glass wine just to chill out n then others i dont stop until ive drank 8 cans or 2 bottles wine.  The weekends are even worse sometimes.  This weekend i ended up drinkin 2 bottles wine n 4 cans on the Friday and on the Saturday i drank 15 pints of 5.5% lager.  When i finally came out of my deep comatosed sleep on Sunday i was totally totally disgusted wi maself and actually cud not believe id consumed that much.

You say you could go without it "at the drop of a hat," but your next paragraph seems to completely contradict that statement. You say you consistently end up drinking more than you planned to or wanted to. Could you go without drinking tonight? Could you just have 1 glass?

Also alcohol is a depressive and could be adding to what seems your depression.

There are many levels of alcoholism, y'know. There are plenty who can go without it "at the drop of a hat". But when they do drink, they end up drinking too much, every single time. A lot of people think alcoholism or an alcoholic are the stereotypical, jobless, lazy, abusive, violent messes etc. But this is not always the case. Functioning or working alcoholic are people who continue to live their lives normally, but alcohol is a huge part of it. Most of them can go without it "anytime", but when they do drink, they drink too much, everytime.

My suggestion is to speak to a therapist that specializes in alcohol recovery and depression, because it seems you are using alcohol has a means to escape, which is only hurting you as alcohol is a depressive.

You express your problem is with food, but then all you talk about is drinking. Alcohol is not food, it's a drink. And unfortunately, very calorific.

You are suffering from alcoholism, anyone who knows someone (or in my case, many people) that has suffered, your post rings so many bells and alarms that that is a problem.

i dont feel that i have a problem with it, except that once i start i dont wanna stop.  but if i dont startim fine.  i cant justhave one.

oh i dunno

i was an 'alcoholic' as my mom says at 14!!  im just sick a hearin it, its all a big joke.  i honestly feel im in full control, it doesnt control me.

food is an issue, i eat way way to much, i like to constantly feel full not just not hungry.

i think ur right bout talkin to someone but how?????

im just alone really, im always the advisor noone there when im down tho.  im just the one that sorts it all, resolves it all etc.

i dont resent it i like to help, i just wish i had someone too

If you don't want to acknowledge having a drinking problem than you may want to consider changing the title of the thread.

Otherwise, you have said that your problem with food is triggered by the alcohol so to avoid the munchies you should avoid the alcohol, no?  Not to mention the high calorie content of the alcohol itself.