gaining on 2000 rather than 3500?

hi everyone

ive been recovering from anorexia and eating on ave btwn 1950-2250 for about the past 2 months.  at first i did gain but in the past 3 weeks ive gone from 93.5 to 95, to 96.5.  now dont get me wrong, im very happy to finally be recovering and gaining and getting back to life, i just dont understand why some ppl are told or need to consume much more in order to gain than what i seem to need?  i almost feel jipped in not being able to eat as much altho i dont even know that i necessaraly would(slight Ed thoughts).

also, id like to eventually be able to maintain on a nice amount of food, 2000ish id think, and since im eating that now and gaining, im a bit scared?  maybe once i weigh more ill need more to maintain my weight and then what i need now to gain, ~2000, will be my maintenenance?

any insight would really be appreciated!

thank you!

It's ED's way of sidetracking you when right now your body just takes calories as $$.

The main thing that makes a difference is too much fiber and protein are harder on your digestion and make the whole process more uncomfortable--especially as your system is just getting used to working again.

>By the way, I learned that when talking to a Dr. who specializes in ED recovery.  Since my profession deals with teaching proper balance and all that, I had the same question when it came to recovering needs.  Right now a calorie is a calorie, the fretting about what kind or rules about what to eat when are a part of ED.

agru-

action is what pays the price! a week from now will you be saying "look at what I'm setting up" or will you look back on more life ticking away as you planned it all out?  Every minute counts.  Tonight, every chance.

Where will YOU end up?  Your actions decide...

hi, so i want the metabolic rebound, thats when your metabolsim begins to recover, rt?

today was about 2300, up a couple hundred, you just think eat lots, yea, i eamn you said the minmum is whatever it takes to gain but i want the metabolisc rebound so i should be eating more than just what it takes to gain, and 3000 then.

i think i got it

thanks

oh, and TUFFSTUFF, I  think tomm im going to print the diff inspirational things youve said tonight bc they have hit home, the sooner im done w this the better.

thank you, i hope youre doing well and able to start running and competing as youd like!  im always open to hearing positive stories and im hoping youre doing well!

good luck all 

argu.... dont let it take ne more of your life..... its taken 10 yrs of mine.... u r beautiful and deserve this!

oh, thanks SPEK, lol, eventho i know you have no idea what i look like, not like that matters bc im in this fight for my health.

how are you doing? ive seen some of your posts and wish you the best, keep upping those cals, thats what will give you life and energy, you can do it!  it wont take the next 10, keep it up!

thank u :)

im doing a bit better....... imi eating more but its very hard..... i put on 200 grams and for me that is ALOT..... i know i have a long long way to go...... i aim for a extra 50 calories each 2-3 days right now..... slowly i think im starting to move forward!

hey agru, charliebo, spek, tuffstuff et al

oh my gosh agru, sometimes you are such an inspiration - it takes so much to up your cals like that, you're being really brave, and it's very fabulous!  And I know it's difficult - right there with you hon, sometimes my hand shakes as I bring food to my mouth, I've sworn, thrown things (actually, that helps), had strops in the supermarket, you name it, I've been there, it's a lot like being a child.  Sometimes it seems recovery is more difficult that the actual disorder, but you are a strong,beautiful woman and you can do it.  Things that help me are knowing what I'm going to eat throughout the day, so I still have a modicum of control, and also not adding up in my head as I'm going, but having an individual target for each meal - i.e.this meal has to be 400 calories etc.  That might help you?  And remember, you have to kick this thing in the bollocks and watch it CURL UP AND DIE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....it's like having an evil hand - everything you don't like about yourself is in this one part that isn't even you - what right doe it have t cling on to you like a parasite - KICK IT OFF, and when you do, you'll realise that you are beautiful and fabulous and DESERVE everything you want out of life

Charliebo: You are also an amazing woman.  I have  no doubt you're going to beat this.  Remember that exercising now is going to stop you exercising in the long run.  I posted this is another topic, butit seemes apropos here, so I'll repeat it: exercise is like waxing your legs.  In the summer, you want your legs to look nice, so you have to wax them, which means letting the hairs grow and feeling a little **** about them for a while.  Similarly, to have a nice body you have to exercise, but to do that you have to have something there to exercise first, which means feeling a little **** about it for a while!  Also, sometimes the only way I can do some foods - cheese and oil generally provoke reactions from me - is to go to the shop for each mealtime and only buy for that, I don't kno whether that helps?

tuffstuff: you seem so knowledgable, thanks for all your advice.  Agru is right: some of the things you say ring so true, and they are so clearly phrased and relevant, thankyou so so much.

Spek: YOU ARE BLOODY BRILLIANT.  totally.

x

agruskin: Thanks for starting this post, it has made a tremendous difference in my attitude.

tuffstuff: I wrote your quotes down (actually, last night in the shower I repeated ly chanted, "More food equals more life!) I guess when it comes to calories it is like money. If you have $3000 to spend who cares which denominations it comes in, ones, tens, twentys, coins...

theo: Thanks. I love that analogy, I want to hang out with your friends! I too find that shopping for a small amount helps. Sometimes I only have the guts to purchase a tiny bit of something. Unlike Europeans, Americans typically stock up on groceries rather than cooking fresh stuff on a daily basis. I think the shop vendors are beginning to wonder about me since I frequent the store so often.

arug im gonna do it too!!!!!!! obviously...the quicker i get over this(not that i wanna gain 2386429365235 in a week) the quicker i get my period, my health, and can go get married and have kids! not to mention be ED FREE! hehe... now.....what to eat?? i have no idea

im not sure what ill get up to today but its gonna be at least 400 more than yesterday. im so sick of questioning EVERYTHING and being a head game and actin a baby im almost 23 OMG.... i need to get on with life!

hmm... damnit i still have no appetite...maybe that will come too i have NO idea what to go have for breakfast

hi everyone

im feeling good today albeit unsure, nervous, and scared BUT-that is ok, i am allowed to feel those things!

i am going to eat lots today, bottom line i want to gain weight, secondly yes recover my metabolism, but bottom line gain healthy weight to be at a healthy bmi of 20.

i need to go for 3000, that will help me gain, heal my organs, and perhaps restore my metabolism.  i need to stop thinking about, get the calories, overcome fears(oil, other ppl cooking, eating out, eating foods that dont have the Nut. values on the box, drinking cals) and reenter society.

THEO-yea, im a mechanical eater right now, i need to preplan, count to ensure im eating enough, and am unable to listen to my body bc i cant hear it now if that makes sense. 

CHARLIE and MALIBU-just do it!  just do it and stop thinking, easier said than done but just freakin do it!  if i gain 1 million lbs so freakin be it, id rsther be a bit heavier than where i am now bc it is much more unhealthy to be underweight than slightly over weight!

we have to act, rotely-no thinking, just doing, i wiash us all luck!

thanks arug!!!!!!

i still never know what to eat or when im hungry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow evryones posts here are so helpful an inspirational..i love reading about ppl who are in the same situation as me....the situation really sucks but mayb we can all do this with support from ppl here, tomoro im gonna try eat more than 1700 cause i dont wanna gain on that an have to maintain on like 1200 in the future...that wud be so annoying.

heya agruskin thanks so much for startin this thread its awesome an so helpful!!

good luck to all!!

xx

i hope you are all having a successful day.

MALIBU-i eat mechanically, what i mean is that i eat about every 2 hrs regardless of thinking im hungry or not.  sometiems once i begin eating it will trigger my appetite, sometiems not but i still eat.  i never crave a particular food either and my hunger/satiety cues are out of whack so, i mostly pre plan my meals and snacks to ensure that i eat enough.  it may not be "normal", but that is what i need to do until i reach a healthy weight.  then, maybe i will begin to be albe to listen to my body.  it doesnt matter waht you eat.  i dont opay att to fat, sugar, whatever, its just the amount of cals is the bottom line. 

AUSSIE-come on!  you can do it!  i know its hard but youve been saying it forever!  im only saying this bc i want to give you that helpful push, not to be mean.  but you just have to do it, rather than saying it, go for it!  ignore those ED voices and excuses and do it!

i made it to ~2400 today, the most i have eaten in ~4 years.  its a step, maybe a big one, im bad at letting myself feel good about things ive done and what not, but im upset that i didnt get to 2500, let alone anymore than that.  i let stupid ED voices ruin another precious day of my life.

im going to preplan tomm i think, i want that metabolic rebound and recovery that comes from 3000 cals.

thnkas and good luck everyone!

saying hi to everyone, keep trucking!  im feeling good, conquered 1 challenge already this morning, and i hope we all succeed today!

sooo what we do calorie wise now effects how many we maintain on later???

yay agru well done thats awesome:) an ur comment helped me..i pushed myself to 1880 yest....the highest in a good while and im gonna keep it up an keep increaing!! hope ur havin a great saturday!!

hi everyone!

so i am now trying to stay in the mindset of the sooner the better!  THE PAST 2 DAYS HAVE BEEN ~2500, ITS A BIT TOUGH BUT IM SLOWLY GETTING THE IDEA OF USING DENSER FOODS, OIL, NUT BUTTERS, ETC.  woops-didnt mean caps! lol

i figure i could gain on 2000, i could gain on 2500, same as 3000.  im still confused if 2500 or 3000 will recover my metabolism but whatever, te more the better!

ive been stuck in ED land for far too long, its time to end this garbage.

AUSSIE-i really think you just need to do it.  college would be tremendouly more fun if you dont have to worry about all this ED food gaining etc garbage.  the sooner the better, youre not going to blow up, literally and figuritively.  just do it!

to everyone-just do it!  eat and eat until youre at your healthy weight, then worry about what happens then, when youre there!

you can do it!!

Yes, yes! Agru, you are so right! The more that I think about I realize it is not that I am afraid of gaining weight quickly as it is I am afraid of gaining weight, period. Quickly, slowly, it all terrifies me. So, why the heck would I want to draw out the process? It's agonizing enough as it is. Like you, I have no set number in mind. I want HEALTH! And I don't want it several months or years down the road. I want it now!