gaining on under 2000... help :\

i've been in recovery from anorexia for 5 months now and i have been seeing a nutritionist, but she never gave me a meal plan or a specific calorie amount. we sort of work on it together. i know that this isn't what the majority of Ns do for anorexic's/ed recoverers, but this is what my N does and it works for me. i think there's a lot less psychological stress if i get to eat an amount of cals that works for me. the problem is, i've gained 18 lbs, am practically at a healthy weight (about 10-15 lbs away from what i was before, but my N has told me that with regards to what my body has done/has been reacting in the past few months, it may settle at a lower weight than it was before... i'm keeping my fingers crossed for this), but i'm still eating less than 2000. i gain at around 1-2lbs per week, on 1800 cals... is anyone else like this? 

i hear about so many other anorexics who STRUGGLE to gain on 3000+ cals, and even though i don't want to necessarily eat that much food, i wish that were me so much. but instead, i'm stuck at slightly over half that amount, and gaining on that amount. i'm scared that ill reach a healthy weight, and one that i could stop gaining at, but still not be eating normal amounts of food, and then if i do start eating normal amounts, then i'll gain past what i was before, and therefore be bigger than what i was pre-ed. 

perhaps i could just bump my cals up drastically now, but my N and i are sort of working on bumping them up slowly so my body doesn't go into shock and gain a whole bunch--she understands i want to gain slowly, and so by increasing slowly, i'll gain slowly. but i feel like once i increase, i'll gain even faster than i am now.

does anyone have any suggestions? words of wisdom? the same situation as me? 

i hope what i wrote made sense... feel free to message me from cc... and i hope that what i posted was appropriate for this forum! sorry if it's not... thanks :)

i dont get what you're scared of. you said that working with her and eating that amount of cals is what works for you. thats what you wanted.

if you'd upped to 2500 you would have taught your body to be more efficient in the use of cals. ie proper weight gain and having energy to do you daily tasks and boosted your metabolic rate. your body is now used to utilising a certain amount of cals - a figure which you sort of dictated since you and your nutritionist focused on that....

Well, you keep on saying how this is what you want, so... be careful what you wish for, because you got what you wanted.

You mention gaining on a low amount of calories because it means you can avoid psychological stress. Remember that psychological stress is quite a normal response to challenging the eating disorder. Avoiding stepping out of your comfort zone has simply allowed you to hang on to the eating disorder for longer - not very healthy.

Some nutritionists simply don't have experience with eating disorders or appropriate advice to give you, and it looks like you've found one of these people. You've been gaining for FIVE MONTHS and you're still only on 1800 calories - exactly how slowly does she expect you to increase your calories?!

You seem pretty determined to follow your nutritionist's advice, but if I were you I would speak to her about getting your calories up to 2500 instead of just playing at getting better as she seems to be letting you do now.

i spent months eating just under 2000 calories i was also gaining , i increased my calories to 2500 and the amount of weight i gained didnt increase , your body will adjust to this . by eating what you are eating your body is constantly playing catch up and is probably holding on to everything you are giving it rather than using it. i would sggest you up your calories going at the pace of a small snail isnt helpful im not saying youve got to jump in there feet first but you are  just drawing things out , i understand its easy to deal with keeping your calories low but this isnt challenging the illness if you truly want to recover you need to confront this . recovery isnt just about weight gain , its about fighting all those things you are scared of and living a healthy life not restricted by calories

First I know how hard this and I am glad you are making weight progress. A few feelings I have. You said you are increasing slow but in the same note it has been 5 months. This is very slow to be at 2000 or under.This is dragging it out. I have seen so many nutritionist in my time and first I think one who deals with ed is very key and even with that some are clueless. Your metabolism is slow right now but also the extra calories are not just to gain but repair. I understand the fears of gaining past a normal weight but right now you need to face what it is happening now and deal with that if it comes cause it may not. I am confused are you near your goal or 10-15 pounds away this is a big difference? What I encourage you to do is talk to your nutritionist. If you all feel it is ok a good plan that helped me was to increase every 2 days by 200. You are going to be anxious and scared. This is part of it. No way around. This is my mental state most days but I do see days of less.

When I started seeing a nutritionist I had already been working on my own to up the calories a little. I had decided to up my calories by 50-100 every two weeks of so...aka extremely slowly aka not helpful at all. When I started seeing her, I had already spent 2 months trying to get better, and I had gone frfrom 600 cals/day to 1200 cals/day, gaining 4 or 5 pounds along the way. After working with her for only a few weeks I was up to 3500 cal/day and maintaining. I gained a few initial pounds, but it didn't cause any sort of serious freak out and once I started maintaining I was okay with it.

Don't be scared. I know it's like a leap of faith, but otherwise you're just damaging your body even further.

What is your activity level? Obviously 3500 calories was okay for me because I was so active, but it might not be right for you. 1800 does not sound good though.

Try looking at it this way: you're gaining weight now, so you may as well increase to an amount that will help repair your metabolism. It's gain on 2000 and not repair, or gain on 2500-3000 and repair... Drawing the process out will not make it any easier, because at the end of the day you still need to gain weight. You may as well do it the healthy way!

I also agree that 10-15lb is not really near your goal; I have about that amount to gain as well and would not say I am near a healthy weight at all!

When I first started gaining, I was eating 2500 calories. My rate of gain was about 1-2 lbs a week. Towards the end of my recovery, I decided to up to 3000+. Guess what? My rate of gain stayed the same. I wish I would have discovered that sooner in my recovery!

My point is, your body is an amazing thing. If you give it what it needs to repair, it will do it.

Not to be rude, but 10-15 pounds is really not close to your goal weight. Truly. I gained from 78 to 90 pounds eating what will probably be what I need to maintain. 

I had to make a choice, for myself. I was gaining, slowly for sure, but gaining about .5 lbs every two weeks eating X calories every day. I realized I did NOT want to be gaining on so few calories. I increased up to 3600 within 15 days and my metabolism skyrocketed. My cals topped out at 3800 because my mother insisted if I pushed it any higher, I'd never be able to maintain. So I ended up gaining 1lb/week on that amount. I was eating 1400 calories more than I had previously been consuming. That should have equated to a 2lb/week gain. But it didn't. Your body is still being starved and it is still afraid that food is not readily available to it. That is why you keep gaining on this amount. Increase up now, talk to your N about it. But do it. Show your body that you will take care of it as best you can and that it doesn't have to ever be afraid of being put through the trauma of starvation again. It might be hard, and you may gain a bit more than usual initially, but your body will thank you and show you that it is possible for you to eat as a normal, free person.

Not to be rude, but 10-15 pounds is really not close to your goal weight. Truly. I gained from 78 to 90 pounds eating what will probably be what I need to maintain. 

I had to make a choice, for myself. I was gaining, slowly for sure, but gaining about .5 lbs every two weeks eating X calories every day. I realized I did NOT want to be gaining on so few calories. I increased up to 3600 within 15 days and my metabolism skyrocketed. My cals topped out at 3800 because my mother insisted if I pushed it any higher, I'd never be able to maintain. So I ended up gaining 1lb/week on that amount. I was eating 1400 calories more than I had previously been consuming. That should have equated to a 2lb/week gain. But it didn't. Your body is still being starved and it is still afraid that food is not readily available to it. That is why you keep gaining on this amount. Increase up now, talk to your N about it. But do it. Show your body that you will take care of it as best you can and that it doesn't have to ever be afraid of being put through the trauma of starvation again. It might be hard, and you may gain a bit more than usual initially, but your body will thank you and show you that it is possible for you to eat as a normal, free person.