My girlfriend and I just had unprotected sex Jan 08, the day right after her period. What are the chances she could be pregnant and what are the earliest physical signs of pregnancy?
Murphy:
I dont have something against what you are going through, I have something against not at least knowing something about sex and the process of getting pregnant-- the web has a vast collection of knowledge right at your finger tips. I also have something against a female who doesn't protect herself and then cries that she is having pregnancy symptoms when none can possibly exist yet.
A urine test at a dr's office is no more accurate or precise than one done at home. You can have a free test done at the many pregnancy crisis centers that have popped up (usually religious based and pro life, but good resources), you can pay a minimal amount at planned parenthood, or you can go to CVS or Walgreens or the corner grocery store and get a test. Your gf could also go see her GP.
Furthermore, you dont seem interested in avoiding having this issue occur again and again. If you want o have a kid, that is one thing, but you all seem to be thriving on the drama. Make a choice-- protect yourself or deal with the consequences. Part of protection is knowledge. If you havent the slightest idea how conception or the female body works, or even knowledge of Planned Parenthood, then perhaps you should avoid situations where this knowlege is paramount.
So yes, I am hard on you. Willful ignorance has no excuse.
I'm assuming you live in the United States? Here's a link to Planned Parenthood in America.
Here's a great article about home tests vs. clinic tests. I suggest reading this one to decide which test is right for you.
Info about pregnancy tests and how they work from Planned Parenthood. Here's another good article from WebMD. It suggests waiting 5-10 days after a missed period to take a home test. But do your research and read the directions on the test you buy, if you buy one.
A good article on various birth control methods.
If you have any questions, feel free to PM me if you want. :)
Original Post by drea99:
Murphy:
I dont have something against what you are going through, I have something against not at least knowing something about sex and the process of getting pregnant-- the web has a vast collection of knowledge right at your finger tips. I also have something against a female who doesn't protect herself and then cries that she is having pregnancy symptoms when none can possibly exist yet.
A urine test at a dr's office is no more accurate or precise than one done at home. You can have a free test done at the many pregnancy crisis centers that have popped up (usually religious based and pro life, but good resources), you can pay a minimal amount at planned parenthood, or you can go to CVS or Walgreens or the corner grocery store and get a test. Your gf could also go see her GP.
Furthermore, you dont seem interested in avoiding having this issue occur again and again. If you want o have a kid, that is one thing, but you all seem to be thriving on the drama. Make a choice-- protect yourself or deal with the consequences. Part of protection is knowledge. If you havent the slightest idea how conception or the female body works, or even knowledge of Planned Parenthood, then perhaps you should avoid situations where this knowlege is paramount.
So yes, I am hard on you. Willful ignorance has no excuse.
Okay, first off, this is the first time either of us has had unprotected sex. Second, I do know about how babies are made. I do know SOME about how the female body works, though not everything because I'm NOT a girl. Third, if she isn't pregnant, then yes I do plan on taking preventative measures, such as using condoms and birth control, to make sure something like this doesn't happen again until we're truly ready to have a baby. So please, just let up on the harshness. I do, however, thank you for your advice, even if you did give it to me in a harsh and somewhat cruel way. If you would like, I'll keep you updated on our situation. If not, that's fine, too. Just please...ease up will you?
Murphy:
You could have had her take the morning after pill. If you dont know what that is, it is a drug that prevents you from getting pregnant after you have had sex. If you look back, that was my first recommendation. You have 5 days from the time of sex to take that for about 80 percent chance of not getting pregnant. If you have unprotected sex, this is the best method you have of avoiding getting pregnant. You chose not to do this--- I did mention this, and no one else did. This is NOT a means of abortion-- if you are already pregnant, it will not terminate a pregnancy.
As a guy, you may not understand female cycles, but if you have sex, you have to understand how it all works! You dont want an unscrupulous girl to tell you 2 days after sex, "I took a pregnancy test and I am pregnant! When are we getting married/moving in together/ you paying me x amount of dollars for medical bills that don't exist?" Knowledge is power. Don't hide behind ignorance. You can choose to know the right thing.
You are both too young and uninformed to be having unprotected sex and I wonder about you all having sex period. Sex is great and wonderful and I personally love it. But I also know what I would do if I got pregnant and the resources that I have available for whatever choice I make. We all f up. And I am not being harsh by telling you the way things are. There is no way to sugar coat being an accidental parent. How do I know? Go back and ask my 18 yr old self. Or perhaps ask my 9 yr old daughter.
Dont live your life with the excuse that it is not your responsiblity because it is-- and if you mess up, its the responsibility that you will have for the rest of your life. And getting pregnant is the least of your worries. I am not telling you to not have sex. I am telling you to look at things with open eyes, do your research, and make an informed choice before you to do something-- do you know what the consequences are, do you understand what you are getting into, do you know, for the truth, what you are doing? Your girlfriend doesnt sound like she is any more informed than you are.
Go to the store, get a pregnancy test. Start there. Have her take it tomorrow. There are no age limits on being able to buy one. Its super easy, and I already told you which one to buy. Its about 10-13 bucks for 2. If she hasnt gotten her period when she is supposed to, have her take the other one. I am guessing you are both under 18 (I had it in my head you were 16 ish, but cant figure out where that thought came from, so forgive me if I am wrong). A teenage girl has irregular periods as a matter of course-- but since you had unprotected sex, she should still go to the doctor, have a urine test done there (or a blood test if you want to be absolutely sure, this is called a beta hcg). And you should both be tested for STDs.
Babies are forever but they are a lot more fun than herpes, or the host of other very common diseases you can contract. Consenting adults are one thing, if you are teenagers, as I believe you are, you are consenting children-- and I hope that you are close enough in age to escape any statutory rape laws, depending on your state/country. I had sex as a teenager, I am not claiming to be some saint. But I also understood the whole sperm meets the egg dealio. Not well enough to avoid getting pregnant (2 forms of birth control failed for me) but I knew what I was getting into. Just be a bit smarter, do your research, and for goodness sake, stop letting your gf maniupulate you into a frenzy.
I am harsh, that is part of me. I also have a wealth of information. I am not being cruel. You need someone to just tell you the way life is and that you need to understand it. If you are going to play grown up, then you have to understand the way the grown up world works. It is not pleasant or candy and roses. There is nothing romantic about getting pregnant (or worse) at a young age. I do hope you are not pregnant (as a general, "you"). And I do care... otherwise I would not have bothered to take the time to respond to you multiple times.
Original Post by drea99:
She sounds super manipulative... you had sex Jan 8, it is now 17 days later so you should be able to get an accurate result from a pregnancy test, assuming there was any real likelihood of her being pregnant, which I dont think there is. So get a FREP, take it first thing in the morning, and then breathe a sigh of relief and GET THEE TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD. Get you some condoms, get her the pill or depo or a diaphram, whatever, AND get you all some education. Learn about sex, women's periods, fertile times, stds, etc. Get tested. And stop this drama.
I "ditto" this. Your girlfriend sounds like she is up to something...
If she is also just experiencing "freak out" symptoms, she could easily put her mind at rest by taking a test. Super easy and a very nice way to relax her boyfriend. Why hasn't she taken a test? Why didn't she take morning after pills? Maybe she isn't pregnant now, but maybe she wants to be. Be very careful with this one, buddy.
When I had my first "oops" experience, I was on the phone at the first possible moment trying to find a doctor to write me a prescription for the morning after pill. I always have a supply on hand now and it's much easier to get. I'm 34 and have never wanted to get pregnant, so I haven't ever been pregnant. It's a pretty simple thing to avoid if you really want to avoid it.
Original Post by drea99:
Murphy:
You could have had her take the morning after pill. If you dont know what that is, it is a drug that prevents you from getting pregnant after you have had sex. If you look back, that was my first recommendation. You have 5 days from the time of sex to take that for about 80 percent chance of not getting pregnant. If you have unprotected sex, this is the best method you have of avoiding getting pregnant. You chose not to do this--- I did mention this, and no one else did. This is NOT a means of abortion-- if you are already pregnant, it will not terminate a pregnancy.
As a guy, you may not understand female cycles, but if you have sex, you have to understand how it all works! You dont want an unscrupulous girl to tell you 2 days after sex, "I took a pregnancy test and I am pregnant! When are we getting married/moving in together/ you paying me x amount of dollars for medical bills that don't exist?" Knowledge is power. Don't hide behind ignorance. You can choose to know the right thing.
You are both too young and uninformed to be having unprotected sex and I wonder about you all having sex period. Sex is great and wonderful and I personally love it. But I also know what I would do if I got pregnant and the resources that I have available for whatever choice I make. We all f up. And I am not being harsh by telling you the way things are. There is no way to sugar coat being an accidental parent. How do I know? Go back and ask my 18 yr old self. Or perhaps ask my 9 yr old daughter.
Dont live your life with the excuse that it is not your responsiblity because it is-- and if you mess up, its the responsibility that you will have for the rest of your life. And getting pregnant is the least of your worries. I am not telling you to not have sex. I am telling you to look at things with open eyes, do your research, and make an informed choice before you to do something-- do you know what the consequences are, do you understand what you are getting into, do you know, for the truth, what you are doing? Your girlfriend doesnt sound like she is any more informed than you are.
Go to the store, get a pregnancy test. Start there. Have her take it tomorrow. There are no age limits on being able to buy one. Its super easy, and I already told you which one to buy. Its about 10-13 bucks for 2. If she hasnt gotten her period when she is supposed to, have her take the other one. I am guessing you are both under 18 (I had it in my head you were 16 ish, but cant figure out where that thought came from, so forgive me if I am wrong). A teenage girl has irregular periods as a matter of course-- but since you had unprotected sex, she should still go to the doctor, have a urine test done there (or a blood test if you want to be absolutely sure, this is called a beta hcg). And you should both be tested for STDs.
Babies are forever but they are a lot more fun than herpes, or the host of other very common diseases you can contract. Consenting adults are one thing, if you are teenagers, as I believe you are, you are consenting children-- and I hope that you are close enough in age to escape any statutory rape laws, depending on your state/country. I had sex as a teenager, I am not claiming to be some saint. But I also understood the whole sperm meets the egg dealio. Not well enough to avoid getting pregnant (2 forms of birth control failed for me) but I knew what I was getting into. Just be a bit smarter, do your research, and for goodness sake, stop letting your gf maniupulate you into a frenzy.
I am harsh, that is part of me. I also have a wealth of information. I am not being cruel. You need someone to just tell you the way life is and that you need to understand it. If you are going to play grown up, then you have to understand the way the grown up world works. It is not pleasant or candy and roses. There is nothing romantic about getting pregnant (or worse) at a young age. I do hope you are not pregnant (as a general, "you"). And I do care... otherwise I would not have bothered to take the time to respond to you multiple times.
Look, I truly do apologize for the way I am acting. I know you're just trying to help, like everyone else here, and I do appreciate that. But I had no right to get all snappy and hateful like I did. I would like to inform you that we are both 18 years of age. So I guess we would still be considered "minors" to some.
It's just this whole pregnancy thing and not knowing much about what to do has gotten me scared, but has also made come face to face with reality. If she is pregnant, then I will accept it and love it, just as much as I love her.
I am doing my homework; I have been looking at stuff on the web talking about what to do if you're pregnant and other things like that. Sex ed in high school didn't teach much, other than about STD's and other stuff like that. I've also looked into the Planned Parenthood website, and plan to make a visit with them as soon as possible.
I can also understand your reasons for being harsh. You're just trying to help in your own way, and like I said, I do respect that and appreciate every bit of help you have given me. And again, I do apologize for my ways and my ignorance.
Original Post by skookum:
Original Post by drea99:
She sounds super manipulative... you had sex Jan 8, it is now 17 days later so you should be able to get an accurate result from a pregnancy test, assuming there was any real likelihood of her being pregnant, which I dont think there is. So get a FREP, take it first thing in the morning, and then breathe a sigh of relief and GET THEE TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD. Get you some condoms, get her the pill or depo or a diaphram, whatever, AND get you all some education. Learn about sex, women's periods, fertile times, stds, etc. Get tested. And stop this drama.
I "ditto" this. Your girlfriend sounds like she is up to something...
If she is also just experiencing "freak out" symptoms, she could easily put her mind at rest by taking a test. Super easy and a very nice way to relax her boyfriend. Why hasn't she taken a test? Why didn't she take morning after pills? Maybe she isn't pregnant now, but maybe she wants to be. Be very careful with this one, buddy.
When I had my first "oops" experience, I was on the phone at the first possible moment trying to find a doctor to write me a prescription for the morning after pill. I always have a supply on hand now and it's much easier to get. I'm 34 and have never wanted to get pregnant, so I haven't ever been pregnant. It's a pretty simple thing to avoid if you really want to avoid it.
She has taken a test before, but we think she may have took it too early because she took it January 17, and it came up negative. She has another test, and she's saving it in case she does miss her period to test again. Plus, she does want a child, and I do too, but I don't think I'm ready to have one yet. But I take full responsibility for my actions, and if she is pregnant, I will do the best I can to support her and my child.
Furthermore, I know how my girlfriend is. We have been dating almost 3 years now, and I know she would never manipulate me like this. We know each other better than we know ourselves, which may be sad to say but it's true. We would never lie to each other, we would never manipulate each other. And we most certainly would never hurt each other.
I will talk to her to see about getting some morning after pills or some form of birth control in case something like this happens again. And I will do what I can to prevent it as well, at least until I feel I'm ready to become a father. I'll keep everyone informed on our situation.
I just want to let everyone know that my girlfriend is NOT pregnant. She took a home pregnancy test January 28 and it came out negative, then the day after she took the test, she got her period. I will, from now on, until I believe am ready to become a father, take all the precautionary measures to make sure this does not happen again.
I also want to thank everyone who helped me through this and gave me advice on what to do.
God bless everyone!
Thank god! I am really happy to hear that! (even if I did tell you so!).
And glad to hear that you are going to be taking the appropriate steps in the future....
Good luck, Murphy!
See? We told you that you didn't need to worry. 
That's great news! I'm glad everything worked out for the two of you.
I kept checking back to see if you would let us know!! Thanks and all the best!
