The girlfriend who wants to know your every diet tip and move. Do you have one who do this to you?

Monday morning my girlfriend Katt called me at 6am. She told me, don't go walking with out me this time. I called her up 45min. Later and I said to her, get your walking gear and meet me at the walking track. She goes on and on about her back and canwe do this later. I said, No! I'm on my time, and you want to walk with me come on.

Tuesday around noon she called me up. She asked me what do I eat for breakfast. I told her, I'm not a breakfast person. I just do a protein shake that I fix on my own adding little things to it.

Today she calls me during my walk.  I normally don't take my cell, but I did this time for personal reasons.

She said to me..

Where are you!

I said walking.

She said, why didn't you call me.

Should I walk with her or should I let her do this on her own.

I'd say encourage her and invite her along...on your terms.   But I wouldn't play games with her.  She's an adult.  Let her know when and where you'll be walking.  The rest is up to her.

I swear - are we talking about my sister?!

But seriously, as much as she drove me crazy wanting me to be her coach and "diet police", keeping her inspired over the last year has benefitted me too.  I just have to make sure that when she makes excuses I call her on it; I also put the responsibility in her lap if she tries to cancel - I tell her fine, but I'm going anyway.

As far as calling her every time I'm doing something - no freakin' way.  I have a pretty set schedule, and she can either come along or not.  I only call if I'm changing that set schedule.  Same way with eating.  If she asks a question, I'll answer it, but I'm dieting my way.  If she eats at my house she eats healthy...but what she does in the interim is her responsibility.

Just by the way, I have lost 45 - 50 pounds in the last year and gone from a size 12 to a size 4, more than meeting my goal.  She has gone from a size 18 to a 12 - so we have bote benefitted!

Turn her on to CC, tell her how it helps one customize and manage a diet for themselves.

When you want to walk with her, call her. Or if you really enjoy her company and you have a regular walking schedule just tell her "this is when/where I go be there if you want to walk, but don't have time to beg you to join me."

I have a girlfriend who lectures me on the benefits of what I'm doing.  It's not quite the same as what you're talking about but it is a little irritating.  I know the benefits of what I'm doing, that's why I'm doing them...now why aren't you doing something beneficial for you??  Is what I want to say.

Like you're friend, she finds every excuse in the book not to partake in any physical activity.  None!  I've offered to walk with her, nope her knee.  I've offered to swim with her, nope, she looks to big in a suit.  AND when she does swim, she just kinda floats around.  I mentioned weights, she no time, she's too tired, she's busy.  Then, she turns around and tells me how easily I've been losing weight.  Yeah...it's NOT easy at all...it's a lot of work and dedication.

I started working out with my friend recently and he wants to drop from his weight of 240. He constantly asks me what to eat, but when I tell him he just says he can't do that cause he likes the mexican food his mom makes way too much.

I have a set plan at the gym and he won't push himself to do much and complains, but if I get to a point where I can't lift anymore weight he goes on about how i'm cheating myself.

It doesn't bother me much really since I am getting a ride to the gym from him and he isn't hurting my eating, but if he starts complaining about not having lost much weight and decides to stop going because of it, making it hard for me to go to the gym, then I will be pretty furious with him.

I've worked out with too many people overweight who complain the whole time and I just don't bother dealing with it anymore. Do it or don't. It's not a hard choice.

Depends on how much you like this girl. If you find it annoying, why don't you tell your girlfriend that she's perfect in your eyes and you love her the way she is? I'm sure she'll appreciate it more than any diet tip you could give her.

Maybe part of the reason girls don't want to exercise with their boyfriends is that they'll be seen without everything in perfect place. I'm not sure if that's the case with you, but I wouldn't want to be seen sweaty and panting and struggling to keep up with him the whole way.

That said, if I had a boyfriend into weight-loss and fitness I'd probably be asking for his tips too, but just to get any new ideas. You could ask her for her tips too.

Mochi-chan, the OP is a chick.  She means girlfriend in the "friend" sense of the word.  I thought the same thing at first, though.

Well, over the years I have added to my personal gym at home. I have everything you can think of to lose weight. Well, I will say. I have everything to get into a hot tone shape.

I do her hair for her every 2 weeks. I tell her to try to come  early, and lets get a workout in. She knows she is welcome to use my things.

I had added a room to the house so I can get the stuff out of my dinning room.

Anyway! I  added her to my gym-membership because there trainers their that can help me stay truely focus on my reps. I do well on my own, but I paid for the family membership, and I like meeting new people.

Not only that. I have kids so having a few things here really helps a lot. When I can make it to the gym.

I called her up and told her. I will go to the gym pick you up, because I get so sick of hearing the gas is to high to go. I know it's high and that is why I told her I will drive.

Okay! She goes with me once, and she is a 10 per-month add. I told her, you better use it or I will drop it.

I'm not being mean, don't get me wrong. I've paid for some weight-watches meals at the store for her more than once. I don't care for them, but I know she loves them.

I've been at this for years. And she has too. I'm getting somewhere, and I feel she isn't getting anywhere. I gave her a food log that I got for myself. I do more than enough for her and myself.

I just want my friends to see that I have these plans, and I'm not planning on changing them.

Ohh. Sorry, I completely misread that!

Well, I do have one girl friend who is very into dieting and weightloss, except yes, she uses 'a rash' as an excuse not to run, and then grabs cake before any one else gets any, and asks for seconds. She asked me how I'd lost weight, and kept pressing for tips until I avoided her for the next month. I guess the point is... you shouldn't have to feel obliged to share any of your special secrets, however tough/unpalatable they are. Just encourage her to exercise, repeat the old calorie-in-calorie-out lecture, and keep going.

Sorry about that again. ^__^;

I would call her, but make no special effort to accommodate her unless you know she'll be committed to it.  It's hard enough to motivate yourself, so don't let someone else hold you back.

I cringe when my friends ask to go to the gym with me...of-course I say yes, though.

The problem is that none of my friends are as hardcore about working out as I am.  I don't expect them to be, either, but don't slow me down!  My roommate told me I needed to start "dragging" her to the gym when I go.  Hello, I only have the strength and willpower to drag one full grown human to the gym...and it's me.

Honestly I don't know why my friends would want to go with me.  I'm not fun at the gym, I'm a gung-ho masochist.  I secretly race the people beside me on the treadmills or lap lanes.  Maybe if you and your friend start some friendly competition she'll take some initiative?

Original Post by killerqueen215:

I secretly race the people beside me on the treadmills or lap lanes.  

lol competitiveness is a wonderful thing... 

Original Post by sauciedj:

Original Post by killerqueen215:

I secretly race the people beside me on the treadmills or lap lanes.  

lol competitiveness is a wonderful thing... 

 Agreed... I'll happily eat a whole cookie when alone, but I can refuse to touch a crumb just to eat less than those around me.

Yeah, I'm a chick....LOL. I can't believe it.

Anyway! I'm a joker. I find the funny in anything.  I done all I can do. I just didn't want to be mean to her. I'm still trying, but she is not like my friend Dee-Dee. Dee wants to get up and go running alone. She don't want the company. She's the friend I give my clothes too when I lose.

She's always racing with me when It comes to weight loss Dee, because I started before most of them. After I had lost the first 25lbs Dee got on board. I gave her a few tips, and she has shared a few of her own.

We compare notes and feelings.

Sometimes I think Katt feels left out. Even left out of the conv...

1. Oh! By the way. I have a boyfriend, and he is not into this diet stuff. He has gain 30 pounds over the past 5 years of us knowing eachother, and he said to me one day. Don' worry about telling me about any diets, it took me 39 years to get this size, and I am not letting it go. My boyfriend weighs 190 now. He loves his new weight. 

hahaha, i understand you completely, lynn.

i hear this all the time from friends and family.

the "oh you have lost weight - and how fast it was" thing followed by "but i cannot do it because (insert any excuse here - i have a dinner with my husband, i go on a trip, i want to cook this...)".

honestly, i do not care about this much now. everyone makes their own choices, and unless one is sick, has some king of medication that wrecks the metabolism etc., EVERYONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT THEY DO TO THEMSELVES - and the weight loss is about choices and hard work. everyone feeds themselves, chooses their exercise or lack of it, decides how much they eat and so on. (i am sure these people know, and just need to justify themselves... fine, but i do not really give this type of behaviour much of my own energy. i need my energy for myself because i still have much weight to lose and it IS hard. i have lost 30 pounds by counting calories and moving more, and will lose more and become thin and healthy. if someone asks me for tips or encouragement or support, i will share, but do not spend my time thinking about their excuses.)

Her actions show that she may want you to want it for her.  That's okay, but I have had friends like that and it can ruin a friendship.  I didn't have the energy for my own and someone else's health goals.  Motivation should be reciprocal.  Yes, there is compassion and helpfulness, but sometimes it is kinder to not try to push someone into something they aren't ready to truly commit to.  She could unwittingly sabotage you by saying "Let's do this activity together..." and then say, "How about we do it later - let's go eat or shop..." If you buy into her anti-motivation, then neither of you will benefit and you have to take responsibility for your own health!  Don't feel bad - I always did, but I'm working on it...  Good luck!  

I give people my opinion if they ask for it pertaining to diet and exercise but as for exercisising I go solo no matter what I am doing. My sister wanted to go with me one time and she just ruined my whole workout. And nothing makes me more mad then getting interrupted or totally stalled during a workout lol

I would tell her that you have your set routine and if she wants to keep up that's great.  My suggestion would be to take an EXTRA walk with her.  It will give you additional exercise without blowing your original workout and give her the friend time she is seeking. 

Another equally annoying friend habit is when they always insert how they lost weight or what they heard helps without you asking for any advice or assistance.  And it's almost always something you either already know or have already dispelled as a myth.  Errrrr.

My mother in law is kind of like that.  She herself is obsessed with calories and working out and I think may have an eating disorder.  Anyway, she's always asking me what I eat, how much, what my exercise routine is like.  One time she challenged me to a push up contest... umm no.  Then another time she got out a measuring tape and wanted to compare measurements, hell no!

Original Post by vmcbutterfly:

I give people my opinion if they ask for it pertaining to diet and exercise but as for exercisising I go solo no matter what I am doing. My sister wanted to go with me one time and she just ruined my whole workout. And nothing makes me more mad then getting interrupted or totally stalled during a workout lol

 I know what you mean. She's like that. For a while I started to think she only do what she does to upset me, and most of the time it works. I get focus on why she want do her program, and why she wants me to force her to do it. It's like pulling teeth with her. She did it to me again. But this time I got a little too mean. I told her in a rough tone, and now I feel bad about what I said to her.

I told her, I can help you. But I'm not going to let you set me back or set me up.. I felt bad really bad, and then I called her back and said I'm sorry.

I don't even know why she wants to go walking with me. I do 20 laps around the track and I power hi-tail walk it. I'm damn near running the thing I walk so fast. I really want to help her, and I told her lets start with working you out on the days I do not. I have to do it that way so I don't fall off my own path.

That's hard - I am sure you did feel bad about being stern and good for you for establishing boundaries but also reaching out to help a friend.  Sometimes the truth is painful, but you can't move forward when you stay in a world of unreality.  When I want something, I take the steps to make it happen.  When I whine about wanting something or say I want something but don't do anything about it, then I must not really want it that badly, right?  But if a person cares about me, he/she will support me, not make me responsible for my issues and their issues, too.  I heard a minister say once in a sermon that he was on a plane when the announcement was made that if the oxygen masks drop to put your own mask on first, then help those around you.  He said it seemed counterintuitive because he said if my child were next to me I would take care of them before myself, but he said he thought about it, and if we don't take care of ourselves, we may not be in the position to help anyone else, and what good is a passed-out parent to their child who needs air - both will suffer!  More than I planned to write, but this story really stuck with me, and although one doesn't have to be selfish, I can't guarantee that someone else will take care of me, so I should do my very best to see that my needs are met and that I am living a healthy, balanced life - no one can do it for me no matter how much they want to.  Okay, have a great day!