Girls in their 20's who want to lose about 100 pounds

Hi, my name is Suzanne and I am 23 years old. I weigh 258.3 pounds(yikes) and would really like to get down to between 140 and 150. I was wondering if there was anyone else out there in their 20's who has about that much they want to lose. We could work together and stay motivated to reach our goals!!! Also, if there is anyone in their 20's who has lost that much and wants to share their success story, I would love to hear it! Thanks!

Yeah, I agree. These ladies who keep hitting below 200lbs are definitely motivating!

We'll all be there soon!

Ok first, because I know you are all sitting in anticipation, my mean daughter story. I really am so mean, and I feel like a terrible person.

By the way, mladdy, my mom and I have a really great relationship 99.99999% of the time.

Ok, here goes. Like I said, since I started working at a place where I got good Friday off early, my mom and I have spent the day together shopping. Three years ago she started dating this guy who she married last April, and for the last two years he joined us on our shopping trip, which was fine because it was still fun. Anyhow, it was my mom's idea to form the tradition because she thought it would be nice to have a day a year where we look forward to a definite planned shopping day. So this year, I ask her where we are going on good Friday, and she says "I wasn't planning on seeing you good Friday." What???? I asked her why, she said first that she had to work. That's a lie because she is in real estate and she never ever ever works on Fridays, because she likes Fridays off. So I called her on it and she told me she can't go shopping because money is tight. First of all, my mom and I are cheap, we never ever spend a lot on shopping trips. It's not like it's something someone would have to save up for, because usually unless there is a bunch of everyday stuff we need, we don't spend more than like fifty dollars each. Second of all, money is not tight for my mom, which I can prove to you by pointing out that she goes out to a restaurant to eat every single day with her husband for dinner. She has not cooked anything at home in over a month. Third of all, she shops online like everyday!  I know I mentioned before that she went from an 18 to a 26 in quitting smoking. Well, she quit smoking almost 10 years ago, and has maintained a size 22 for about 6 years. Three years ago (when she met her second husband) she started gaining weight. Now she can't even fit in a size 26, and she is miserable about her weight. But what does she do? She goes out to eat all the time with her husband and she sits on her butt! The worst part is that after they go out to eat (and have dessert) before bed, her husband always wants to have a snack, and so she has a snack with him on top of a like 3000 calorie meal! Anyway, I know I am running on, but all this ties into how I am a mean daughter. I was so frustrated that she was making excuses not to spend the day with me, but then commented to me that if I wanted to meet her for lunch or dinner that would be fine, and she would take me out to eat, that I blew up. I said to her "Why don't you just admit that the real reason you don't want to have to go shopping with me is because you are to lazy to get up off of your a** for five minutes and do anything that doesn't involve eating every other second???"  I know it was really a mean thing to say, but I was just so frustrated. I mean, she has become soooo lazy. She took one of my grandma's old handicap parking passes and changed the dates on them so she never has to walk far. If someone else goes anywhere with her, she makes them drop her off at the door and lets them park. Her once spotless house has become soooo dirty that it's gross to have to go there. All she does, honestly now is sit around and eat. She doesn't have anything that would physically hinder her from walking or anything she has just become that lazy. Yet she complains about how fat she is getting, and she acts like the weight will just melt off without her doing anything to help. I feel bad for being mean about the comment I made to her, but she is driving me crazy! She is not even 50 yet. I don't want my mom to be one of those people who becomes too unhealthy to even leave the house.

Sorry for the long long very long rant, but I had to give you all the information so you could see where my mean comment came from.

alibuch: So....you have a place for me to stay if I come visit??? I am totally jealous of flip flop weather! I was meant to live somewhere warm, I just know it!

pinkcobra: yay for sunny and warm by you too! It's been sunny for about three days now, but still cold! Maybe you should try yoga for the sagging? Someone once told me that yoga is a great way to tighten and firm skin! If you try it and it works, let me know!

mladdy: Yay under 200! I actually looked at my medical records online today. I haven't been under 200 since November of 2002 when I weighed in at 199. I can't wait to get back under 200! It's going to be sooo worth it! I wish I could go to Disney with you! Take pictures in front of sleeping beauty's castle for me! It was really hard to have only one bite of the cupcake. But hate thing that made it easier is it was in a container with a strawberry frosted cupcake (yuck) and it kind of picked up some strawberry flavor. The only bad thing is he ended up eating both cupcakes then! I do know that my legs are strong. Not too long ago, I had a bmi test on my legs, you know where they take that triangle thing and measure how much they can pinch? Well with my calves unflexed it was only 11.2% body fat there. Every where else of course is a different story! You are so motivated in your workouts! That's terrific!

bootster: I agree that your mom should have tried to contact you. That kind of sucks. When I was in my teens, my mom wasn't too good at listening either. She thought she had all the answers before she even heard my problems! Luckily, she has improved with listening some. I think I may cry once I get under 200 again too! Please let it be this year! Good job picking up your exercise for the week and sticking it out! I agree with mind over matter! It is really sweet that you and your hubby are willing to try harder to make sure you guys will pull through! I can't believe you duck taped your stomach! Ouch!

watchme: according to my medical record, I was like 230 in September of 06...which means I gained over 39 llbs in 1.5 years? Not cool! I really have to start working hard! 175 should be good! I would think that would be a pretty healthy goal! You will know once you get there. Once you start feeling comfortable, weight is nothing but a number! Yay for skipping dessert! I am so proud of you!

dalmalama: I am jealous of your dancers legs! You are a mean daughter I guess if you cut off your moms cable! LOL that is hilarious! It's great that your brother won't sell you out. I somehow always end up having to mediate for my mom and my brother, and they both try to get me to take sides which I refuse to do! What did your mom say yesterday? Yay for getting thinner arms and a flatter belly! You deserve it! You are never on here too much! I am sorry for your ruff childhood, but it seems to have made you strong!

mladdy: Don't worry, you are going to feel great! When my friend and I used to go to the gym, we would get on the stair master for 5 minutes. Then we would say, well we did 5 minutes, lets do 5 more, and 5 more until we worked up to an hour! That's the best way to do it! That sucks that you lost your weight loss buddy for now, but you girls here are my biggest support system too!

ksantama: Hi! Welcome to our group! I am sure you can reach your goals! Don't give up!

As for body shapers, I really am not a fan. I did wear this one on my wedding that went from under my boobs to my hips, and though it did help some, about halfway through the reception, I dragged my husband to the bathroom with me to help me get it off so I could dance more freely!

ennasuz--

haha sure. but summers here are INSANELY AWFUL. haha Rain.. everyday... 200% humidity... it's disgusting.

Hello all!

I technically don't belong in here anymore, but I wish this group had been around a year ago when I was going through the bulk of my weight loss!

Anyway, my reason for posting is to let you know that you can do it! I've lost 86 lbs so far with about 10 to go (goal weight is between 140-145), and can relate to a lot of the issues you all have been going through.

Good luck!

ennazus--You must have been really frustrated and I don't blame you! ((HUG)) ..I'm just curious to what she had to say to your comment? are you guys talking? Are you 'ok'?

Lazy day here for me guys. just chillin

Hey everyone!

I'm 20 years old, 5'8", and was 229 when I joined CC on Monday.  As of today, I've lost 3.4 pounds! :)  I'm looking to get down to 155 for now, maybe eventually into the 140s.  But 155 will put me safely into my healthy range, so that's my goal right now.

I've been doing good so far, not so great today because we ordered out at work and had lasagna for dinner tonight, but I still managed to stay under 1800 calories, so I only went over my calorie target by about 350, not too bad.  I'm a little worried about tomorrow being Easter, with all the Easter goodies, but I'll try to work it into my day, maybe take home some desserts and enjoy them throughout the week :)

Bootster: She actually said I was being like grandma Rosie (my grandma who is extremely mean and often bitter) I told her I was just being honest. I said I wasn't gaining anything by being honest with her, and she could take or leave what I said. Well the thing is, my mom doesn't really have a bunch of friends, really her and I are like best friends. So even though I am still aggravate, we never really stay mad at each other for long. I am actually at her house right now for dinner! Lol. It's good that we can make up quickly. Now her husband is grumpy at me because I put his 5 year old daughter in time out. Oh well.. It's all good. Thanks for the hugs, and I will be sure to return the favor when you are on the outs with your mom!

alibuch: I wouldn't want to be in 200% humidity! My hair would be a giant poof ball!

katidid22: You actually would be welcome here...we would love to hear about your journey so far! I am sure you would be an inspiration to us all.

fantasyflight: Hi, welcome to our group! Way to go on losing 3.4 pounds! I would like to get in like the same weight range as you too. My doctor said 159 would be healthy for me, so we will see what happens when I get there. I will have a hard time tomorrow too. Scalloped potatoes, and my mother in law bought me a gertrude hawk apple. I will just try to get some exercise in if I can! Good luck, and welcome again!

 

hey all! to answer your question, suzanne, she made a comment about how much money i make. i hate hate HATE discussing money, but especially with her, b/c she thinks in black and white, and doesn't realize that just because you make a certain amount doesn't mean you get to just keep that. i have bills, school loans, i have responsibilites, dammit! and she was tryna borrow money from me, and i told her no, feeling like i was the parent, she was the child, and i got even more pissed when she got snippy then made a snide comment about all she did for me as a kid. my mom's an eternal score-keeper, and never lets any favor go unreturned. she can be petty. but like suzanne, we don't stay mad at each other long anymore. it was over like 5 minutes later. but i still didn't give her the money!

wow, it's great that you girls can make up with your mothers so quickly. After not speaking to my mother for 6 months --we now have limited phone calls--we probably talk like once a month and for about 30 minutes and that's it---it really doesn't bother me though-I'm fine with it--I feel like she is very controlling and this way I have control the situation and also it helps to avoid conflicts--because we don't make up quickly it really does help. humph--mothers! gotta love em

for me bootser, i'm able to get over it so quickly because i know that she is the way she is and she's too old and too stubborn to change, so i just let her have her say and i let it slide. that's not to say i don't give her a piece of my mind, b/c i'm not gonna just let her have her say without me getting mine. we're both adults now, so i try to make our interactions as mature as i can make them, even though she tries to make them as childish as possible.

and really, in the end, she's the one person besides my brother, who will always be there for me. and i don't want to destroy that.

dalmala: I truly understand that and wished I had that relationship with my mother but a lot of stuff went down , I think the worst part for me was her telling me that she has a better relationship with my sister--which is just to me something that you shouldn't tell your other child---but we've gone through a lot--at points she has completely left me out of the family--which I now understand (as you do) that I can't change her and I am the only one who can change--so that's why we are even talking once a month now--but I don't think that she's someone I can rely on ---now I turn to my husband for things and I rely on him the most---which I think is for the best---I miss the relationship mother & I had during high school but now that all this has gone down I think it's for the best--I have really grown and matured & have learned how to communicate a lot more than I used to--so I don't regret any of it--at times I still mourn the relationship but this all just went down this last year so I believe it's still normal too still get upset about it..............

Hi ladies...I'm so sorry that I can't answer everyone individually (I need to start reading this forum every day! I love that it is so active!). But hello to all the new members, and thanks to everyone for their supportive attitudes :) I've worked out for the past 3 days--this is like, a record for me! Unfortunately I already know that Monday is out (I'm headed back to campus, which is a full day's journey), but I definitely plan on hitting the gym on Tuesday.

I can relate to a lot of what people wrote about their mothers...I guess another question would be, how does everyone get along with their fathers? My father woke me up at 4 AM a few nights ago in order to yell at me about my weight...seriously...I assume he is motivated out of paternal "concern" (I mean, I would like to assume) but the things he said were so hurtful that I really haven't been able to talk to him since then...he basically ended the whole thing by telling me how hopeless he considers me (sigh). We've always had an odd relationship (he's not very emotive, and reserves his praise), but I really didn't enjoy that encounter.

My mom is also a story...she herself was thin when she was younger but has gained weight with age (although she's not obese)...she has a very strange attitude toward my weight (I'm sure many of you can relate), as in she is constantly encouraging me to eat less and exercise, yet when she is depressed she buys doughnuts and looks to me for approval, or something of the sort...

Agh! Could it really be that so much of one's screwed-up attitude toward food is due to parental influence? I remember growing up, after-school snacks consisted of cookies and potato chips, and no car trip was complete without a stop at Dunkin Donuts...nowadays we eat healthy meals (lots of vegetables, tofu and rice) as a family, and yet there is always plenty of junk food in the house...who does my mom buy this for? None of us (parents, siblings, myself) really need it!

Ok, at this point I'm rambling :) But it does feel very good to put these thoughts down...I hope some of you can empathize with my situation!

Of course, no matter what our backgrounds, what matters most is what we choose to do today...every day that I stick to my plan I move further away from this messed-up relationship with food and family.

I hope that everyone has a pleasant and productive week!

While it was never something discussed in my house, I suspect my mom struggled with an eating disorder for many years.
Growing up my sister and I can remember my mom going days without eating... she would just drink coffee in the morning, etc. It's really strange how your parents eating affects you. I seem to have internalized that into overeating, despite my mom bribing me with things to diet when I was in junior high/high school (i.e. a trip to England). Back then I wasn't even that overweight (about 160lbs at 5'7) but as I went through h.s. and university I continued to gain weight and now here I am, trying to deal with the demons and guilt I have with eating and fix the damage I've done to my body.
My sister internalized it into not eating. Through h.s. she dropped a lot of weight (well, about 20lbs) but at 5'11, 115lbs is not healthy. Now she's fine and we've even talked about how bad our mom's negative body image has affected us. I know no matter how thin I get, I'll never be happy... because I was raised to believe 'there is no such thing as too thin'.

So yeah... I understand where people are coming from with mother-weight issues.

So I got up this morning fearing the lure of the Easter sweets, but when it came down to it, I was surprised to find that I was perfectly happy after 3 small pieces totalling 122 calories.  I'm thinking about it now, and I am pleasantly surprised to discover that I have no particular inclination to run over and grab a handful of candy.  :)

Let's just hope this continues to the cookies and cakes tonight ;)

Happy Easter to all who celebrate!

happy easter everyone!  since i don't celebrate, i guess i have been spared the temptations but i was a LITTLE bad yesterday... had a bowl of raisin bran and skim milk for breakfast (400 calories)... but then i was not too too bad but just a little.  went to the bridal shower and had a small slice of cake... also had 2 chicken salad sandwiches (was told by the girl who made them that they had low-fat mayo though) and a kfc fried chicken drumstick without the skin (70 cals).  then went to tgifriday's for dinner with a friend and had the southwestern mahi mahi.  it's 500 calories and 10 g of fat if you get the meal exactly as is.... but i wasn't feeling like having rice and had been craving mashed potatoes for about a week so instead asked them to substitute that in.... so i probably had more than 500 calories for that... not sure.  trying to figure out how "bad" i was for the day.  i'm guessing i passed 1700 calories but not sure by how much!

Welcome to all the new girls!! 

mladdy congrats on being under 200! The last time I was under 200 lbs was January 2005 before I got pregnant, hopefully I'll be there again in a couple of weeks I'll make sure to let y'all know!  

Guys are we really surprised that so many of us have mother issues? I don't think people just wake up one day and are like OMG I'm a lard ass. It comes from years and years of emulating bad habits and emotional eating that is used to shut out parents that don't always realize they're being hurtful . At least for me, reading this brought back so many memories of my mom (who was always like a size 2 when I was a kid) always being on my case about being fat and trying to "encourage" me to exercise and loose weight. Now that I talk to her about it she is so in denial like "what,  I was never mean to you I was just worried. " She was so mean w/o meaning too , I used to hide in the bathroom to eat cookies so I could wash up afterwards and not get yelled at. Now that I look back I was a sad little fat kid.    j/k < ----- just a lil self deprecating humor there! Now that she's in her 50's shes nicer but still makes comments that annoy me to no end. Like she pretty much eats nothing all day but cigarettes and diet coke  and she complains that she's "ballooned" up to a size 8 ! I think the last time I was a size eight I was in the fourth grade being yelled at because I was fatter than her and couldn't fit in hand me downs from my sister. So yeah anytime I visit her I have to resist the urge to smack her when she asks me dumb questions like would I be willing to get a tummy tuck w/ her once I loose all the weight I want and am left w/ gross excess skin. ( actual ? she asked me)

 

So I can relate to all of the mother stories. My mom is going on this big trip to Greece with my dad and it's the first vacation they've taken away from us 4 kids since their honeymoon and my mom is very over weight. I keep trying to tell her to start walking and what not but she hates exercise. She finally joined curves though which is great and I'm proud of her for, the only thing now is I hope that she's actually going. What frustrates me though is that she penalizes me for being overweight and how she doesn't want me to look like her but she's never really set a good example for me and when she does comment on my weight it's always hurtful. Oh well mothers, gotta love em.

 

As for body shapers.....I bought one that are like a pair of shorts from La Senza. I like it. It can be uncomfortable but people always tell me I've lost weight when i wear it which I like. I laughed at that post because my friend and I actually call it the sausage cause we have to squeeze ourselves into them and their just so restricting lol.

 

So Today I (Easter) definitely over ate and I feel like **** just thinking about it. It wasn't even healthy. I ate like 3/4 of a package of Fig Newton cookies and that's just one thing. So my question to you ladies is, do you ever go off your diet/ calorie count and how does that make you feel and what do you do? Cause I just feel like crying and giving up(lol my grandma congratulated me on it)

ksantama: don't cry and don't give up!  I wind up deviating from my plan here and there and I really don't feel like it's a big deal since I get right back on the horse the next day.  We definitely deserve to indulge every now and then... and honestly one bad day of eating doesn't really adversely affect you weight/diet in the whole scheme of things.  It's even good to eat sweets and fatties once a week... and that was told to me by Kae Whang from biggest loser 5!  You might see an increase on the scale the next day or two from water retention, but it'll go back down.  So don't feel too badly and enjoy your Easter!  I had a crab omelette and hashbrowns for breakfast and it was so divinely delicious.  And I don't feel bad about eating it.  But it's back to my weight control oatmeal tomorrow :)

i haven't been eating conscientously at all this weekend. i refuse to say i was "bad," becuase that would just make it seem like i was doing something i wasn't supposed to, and like i needed to reprimand myself for just being me. so i'm never bad. i ate some things that weren't exactly healthy, but so what? i'll still go the gym 5 times this week, and i'll eat w/in my caloric range during the week. it's all good.

don't beat yourself up! doing that will only help to perpetuate a cycle of negative thinking and self-disgust. who wants that?

i don't really do holidays anymore, so there was no easter candy around to eat, but i still managed a couple pieces of scrumptious dark chocolate.

i've written enough a/b my father, but i'll just add that we've never actually had a relationship. he came around once every few months after he got off work at night, and then only to be with my mother mostly. the last time i spoke to him was about 2 months before my 18th birthday.

he called me and told me that since i was 18 now (which i wasn't), he wasn't going to be in my life anymore. and he kept his word. at the time i wasn't fazed; it took me a few years to fully feel that insulting blow. i wasn't even hurt by his terrible actions until one day when i was 24. it came out of nowhere; i hadn't thought about him in years, then that day popped into my head and i just wanted to cry. i didn't cry, b/c he's never been worth a spilled tear, but i hurt for a little while.

then late last year a friend of my mother's told me that my mother met up with my father and they went out for lunch. i felt so absolutely betrayed by her, and pitied her stupidity. she told him my car needed fixing and asked if he could come look at it. he said he would. i confronted my mother about the whole thing. at first she lied, saying she didn't see him, then she fessed up. she tried to smooth things over by saying, at least he's gonna fix your car. i couldn't believe she was so naive as to think either of us was ever gonna see him again. i told her he wasn't coming, but she held out hope that he would. of course he didn't. who the hell wanted him to? if he had shown up, i would've run him over.