"Goal Weight" - How do you know when you're there?

I'm struggling with how to decide my goal weight.  I have recently lost 65 pounds going from 238 to 171.  Several years ago I had a body composition scan done and they told me I should weigh between 150-167 based on my specific body composition.  So, when I started my weightloss I was aiming for 165.  Then it went to 160, 155, 150...  I mentioned this to my nutritionist and she told me not to worry about it too much and I "will know when I get there". 

I still feel very overweight and cannot imagine me being at my "ideal weight" in 4 pounds. I've read a lot on here about people's mind needing to catch up with their body after weight loss so I have a hard time believing that I will just it when I get there.  I'm also scared that I have a distored perception of myself and will not be able to judge what a decent weight is.  This might make me end up losing too much weight.  I keep getting comments lately like "You're fading away into nothing" or "Pretty soon there won't be anything left of you." 

I'm just wondering for those of you who have reached your goal - did you "feel it" when you got there or did you have a set number in mind?  I'd love to hear everyone's experiences of drawing in closer to their goal weight and how they decided they made it.

How tall are you?  

I am at what I wanted to be my goal weight but now I feel that I want to lose some more - haha I don't think you'll ever find a girl who doesn't think she needs to lose 5 pounds...

well I mostly go by my bmi - the way I see it, as long as I'm over 18.5BMI, I'm still good and healthy. I'm 19.8 now so I can afford to go a few pounds under and still be healthy. Now I don't really have a goal weight, more a goal range. It stops me from getting upset if I go a few pounds over on off-days!!  I know how you feel, as I also worry that I might start to think skinner and skinner, but as long as I have this magic bmi number in my mind it's fine for me. 

yeah, i think the key for me is going to be to set a new never-again threshold.  that's what got me going in the first place - the fact that i was this close to weighing 170, and i wasn't going to let that happen.  i successfully got below 160 and 150 and stayed (though i came ridiculously close to going over 150 recently).  my next threshold is 140, and i'd like to make 135 my permanent high-water mark.

rather than aiming for a particular number, you might want to set a target range, and then live there for awhile to allow yourself to adjust.

I'm 5'6.5".  According to the BMI guidlines, 156 is when I hit "normal weight".  However, I don't particularly like the BMI guidlines.  I put more stock into that body composition scan then this generalized guidline.  I'd have to be at about 115 to be underweight - even I know I would look ridiculous at that weight :)  I'm guessing I should be in the range of 140-160, but I just have such a distorted view right now that I can trust my judgement nor do I believe the scan or the BMI.  Who can I trust?!?!

Thanks pg - I definitely will set a range (probably about 5-7 pound range).  I'm never very picky with the actual number per se.  It's just a matter of knowing when I can claim (and feel) like I have accomplished my goal.

you know what i notice, ali?  the stronger i am physically, the less i care about my size and weight.  so maybe a goal that's totally unrelated to those things makes more sense.  and i know that a fit 145 looks a helluva lot better than a flabby 135.

me, i'd like to run a 55-minute 10k.

I am 5'5', and when I went home to see my family last may, weighing 150, my father said, "don't lose any more weight -- your face is looking gaunt!" while, at the same time, one of my best friends didn't notice at all.  she later made a comment to me, saying "I just thought you were standing up straighter."

I think after losing so much weight, as you did, you need time with your body.  keep eating healthily, but try to begin a maintenance regime.  for me the excitement of having a new body (though I haven't had your dramatic weight loss) was tinged with a lot of anxiety over who I was as a person.  it took from may until september (of this year) to get back to the point where I'm comfortable enough with myself to continue making good decisions for myself.

Well I'm definitely not ready to switch to maintenance quite yet.  Maybe I should consider 150 my bottom then go to maintenance no matter how I feel (since the scan said that'd be healthy and it's in the BMI healthy range).  Then give myself a few months of maintenance and re-assess if needed.

I think you're right pg - it's more about fitness now for me then losing weight.  I want to be thinner primiarly because of how it will make it easier to run. 

I wouldn't let comments like "You're fading into nothing" bother you at all!  (Unless you are but sounds like you are fine.)  Weight loss is just shocking when people are used to you being heavier, and it could be a little jealousy too.  My mom has half heartedly questioned me being anorexic when in reality I only lost about 15 pounds and stayed at that healthy weight for 2 years!!! 

In answer to your question... I did "feel it".  I am 5'5.5" and my goal weight was always 120 when in reality I was 140/145... Well I got to 128 and one day looked in the mirror and thought, WOW I feel REALLY GOOD about what I'm looking at.  And I felt confident and great.  I always felt that I needed to lose a few more pounds to be "perfect" but at 128 I felt "good enough" if that makes sense.  Now I am like 133 and my goal for the winter is to lose 5-8 pounds to get back in that area.  I still feel good about myself but I would rather lose 5 pounds today than 20 pounds tomorrow ya know?

Thanks for sharing that greenpea.  I have a feeling it's a moment like that is what I'm searching for :) 

I've been wondering this too. I'm 121 pounds 5'4, and my goal was 120lbs. I'm pretty much there and some days I'm very happy with the way I look, other days not so much. I don't want to lose more weight because the last time I was 117, I couldn't maintain it, once I stopped dieting I put on 5lbs right away. I think there is a point when you have to start working on body image, and being happy with our bodies.

I'm 5'2 and currently 127 lbs. That at abt the top of my healthy range (132 is max for the healthy BMI). My goal is currently 118 lbs which technically is ideal for medium frame

I am at a good weight now for my height and muscle mass (higher than most women I run across).  5' 4 & 3/4" at 150-160 depending.  I no longer feel overweight even though by BMI I am technically.  I'm wearing a size 4-6 in pants and a size 6-8 on top.  Wearing a small definitely made a difference to me mentally.  I still do plan on losing another 10-15 pounds but I'm not really focused on it right now and don't know when I'll decide that I really want to focus on it.  The changes in my attitude and body composition are great.  I've never really thought of myself as overweight unless I really looked at myslef (~180).  I still don't think of myself as skinny, just a good weight with a few pounds to lose.  I love feeling my muscles and having muscles and most of the changes over the last year seem to be a rearrangement of muscle and fat on my body in good ways even though I haven't lost weight.

I reached my goal weight and realized that I wasn't happy with what was in the mirror so I decided to lose another 15 to get to my "ideal weight" and as I get closer to that I don't think I'll be happy there either. I'm thinking I'll probably want to drop another 10-15 after that. I have set a weight that I know I will absolutely not let myself get below so that I don't keep this up until I'm underweight. I guess all you can do is get there and see if you're happy.