any good comebacks for rude remarks on being fat

My favorite is:  Alll the better to sit on you my dear.

(I have grey hair and I say it like wolf pretending to be granny in Little Red Riding Hood).

Anytime someone insults me, I like a good return of "yeah??  JUST LIKE YOUR FACE!!!" because it kinda doesnt make sense, and before they realize it, you're gone and their brain is left scrambling.

Fat people are sexy

*roundhouse*

Thank God you're here, Captain Obvious!!!

"Did making fun of me, make you feel better about your short-comings?"

I usually use that for guys that make rude comments about my height.

Okay, I would never do this, but when I was little (6 or 7) my mother really jabbed some college students at the movie theater.

When she was walking by with me and a friend of mine the kids started to make cow and pig noises at her. She brought us and got us seated and then went back and told the kids that she had terminal stomach cancer. She told them that they had ruined one of the last good times she would be able to have with her children.

They were so ashamed of themselves that they all got up and left the theater.

BTW, she didn't have cancer and she has lost all of her excess weight now. She wasn't even that overweight when they did this to her. People can be really creul.

I'm with athena-tavener...a smile and a "thank you" will make a jerk feel more like a jerk.

I am keeping a running tab...I always like having a comeback already practiced.

People who say that don't deserve my comebacks.
They can have my fist though.

yea  just cuz im fat doest mean im gay

i like looking at my fat sexxy bod when im naked in the mirror

hey kyle k we have alot in common we should me up sometime huh?

now that im skinny i go for joggs all day

lets go golfing

i just messin with all you  i am 175 lbs, 6`1`` and i have an 8 pack and i have nice tan skin and i can grade cheese with my abs

aaahhh narlly duude i just ripped off a hair out of my balls

everyone im sorry for being mean

Sorry we don't have anything to feed the troll (yeah we know it is the same person with 2 sns) with.  I guess we must of already ate it all, huh? 

I give them one of my piercing glares of abject disdain.

I've never tried it as a fat comeback, but I really like, "Your incompetence is matched only by your inability to perceive what I articulate."

While they're figuring out the great insult calling them stupid, you laugh at them and walk again. : P