"You Just Have To Do It" is NOT a good enough answer!

I have a problem and IT'S NOT FAIR!!! I don't understand why so many people can eat whatever they want and look svelt. My sister-in-law is a size 2. She's had 3 kids, and her eating habits consist of bread, cheese and bacon.

I feel like a child feeling so sorry for myself. I can't accept the answer everyone gives me, "You Just Have To Do It."

Why do I 'just have to do it?' Why can't someone do it for me? Why can't I just enjoy my life without having to think about food 24/7?

If I'm not dieting, I'm happy - for a while - then I get depressed.

I'm just looking for a better answer than "you just have to do it." Is there one?

Eat whatever you want & keep your intake below your maintenance.

Do you mean eat less calories than I burn?

Don't want to diet? Don't do it. Change your lifestyle. Change your eating habits for the better, but still incorporate your favorite foods into your new healthy lifestyle. Want to eat more? Exercise more. Love your new lifestyle. You're not only changing the way you look, but your changing the way you feel about yourself and your health.

Oh, and my mom used to be a size 2 even after she had both my sister and I. I guess she just had a really high metabolism. But then she had to get her thyroid destroyed, and she gained like 20 pounds. Not overweight, but not as skinny as she used to be.

It is not about what you eat. It is about how much you eat.  And yes she means eat less that you burn to lose weight.  Your sister-in-law seems to be able to consistantly eat what she burns which is how you maintain once you are at the right weight.

Thanks for all the responses. I've changed a lot for myself over the past 6 months or so. I got married in January, so in October, I cut out caffeine, switched to whole grain and wheat, stopped eating my favorite fried goodies and got a personal trainer 4 days a week. I lost 12 lbs in 3 months... it just doesn't seem to be happening fast enough, so now I am discouraged because I feel like I've worked my butt off and not much is happening.  It used to be that as soon as I bettered my eating habits, I'd drop 10 lbs instantly. I'm 33, so I guess this is where my body starts changing.

And, I HATED exercising... still do.

Not expecting much of a reply from this... just venting, I guess. Thanks for listening.

Hey! Its a long process...

As to the exercising part, PLEASE find something you like!!!!

Try tons of different things. I find that I like to exercise in a group more than I do individually. If that's the case with you too, join a class, a taek-won-do club, maybe a step class, or simply grab a friend when you go to the gym.

Anectdote: This morning, I woke up to go running. It was raining. I was tired. I had a test in 3 hours. But at 7, my running buddy knocked on my door and we ran together. I would not have gone had I not planned it with someone else. And she didn't want to go this morning either! My point? Sometimes its better in a group :-)

I felt that way too, most of my adult life....why do I have to "just do it"? Why me? Why do I have to watch what I eat so carefully while other people can eat bacon and burgers and not gain wieght and not seem to have a care in the world?

What I have come to conclude is this: everyone has weight issues, from skinny girls to fat men. All of us. There would not be a billion-dollar diet industry if this were not so. My gym would not be filled with people working out if this were not so. It's not just me, poooor me, who has such a hard time with this. And thinking that way for so long was really self-defeating, I always ended up falling off diets cuz i wanted all the"good stuff" other people got to eat. And now, I think it's pretty unusual to find someone like your sister-in-law, my ex-bf was kind of like that until he hit 40 then HELLO pot-belly. I was always so jealous and ended up joining him in the cheese-fests, gosh I love cheese. Now, I understand that its really just common sense. Burn what you eat. Burn more than you eat to lose weight. If I want to eat cheese, it's got to be in moderation, that's all, so that I can reasonably burn it. It's not that hard at all, and I wonder why I spent so much time thinking poor me.

Some of the other posters have already told you what to do but let me give you an example. 

Your SIL might be  size three for good reason even if she does eat bacon cheese and bread.

I could have a White bread, Bacon Cheese sandwhich for breakfast everyday and still lose weight..why because by the end of the day I will still have eaten 1500 or so calories. 

I remember when I was in high school trying to count calories, and I would eat potato chips, Hamburger Helper, Rice, Macdonald's, Soda and still lost about 15lbs before prom. The issue though is from this I was hungry all of the time because I was actually becoming malnorished. 

My point you can still rather unhealthy and ose weight..calories are calories no matter how they consumed.

Denise

I have so felt this way before.  When I was younger, I had friends who didn't even have to think about weight and seemed to eat whatever they wanted, and my mom seemed that way too.  However, now I know differently- that they were actually quite active, that they didn't eat very much, and actually now they are much heavier than they were back then because they've cut down on the activity.

I have usually preferred reading and chilling out over being super active.  The few things I've found that I really like are yoga and then just being outside.  I always wanted to learn to ski but was afraid too because i was out of shape for so long.  I was thrilled when I finally decided to learn and picked it up pretty easily, just from being in pretty good shape from years of yoga.  At this point, I can make myself go to the gym and things like that because it is important to me to make sure I'm staying strong so I can continue to do the things I like.  I've also tried for a while now to be a 'runner' but the fact is I kinda hate runnign, but I sure feel good afterwards.  So, I periodically sign up for a run to do with friends, just 5 or 8 ks to keep me motivated, pretty much so I won't slow other people down or die on race day.  Those are the ways I try to stay motivated!

And, I feel SO much better now.  I agree, it shouldn't be about dieting, it should be about changing your life. 

Original Post by jordana44:

Thanks for all the responses. I've changed a lot for myself over the past 6 months or so. I got married in January, so in October, I cut out caffeine, switched to whole grain and wheat, stopped eating my favorite fried goodies and got a personal trainer 4 days a week. I lost 12 lbs in 3 months... it just doesn't seem to be happening fast enough, so now I am discouraged because I feel like I've worked my butt off and not much is happening.  It used to be that as soon as I bettered my eating habits, I'd drop 10 lbs instantly. I'm 33, so I guess this is where my body starts changing.

And, I HATED exercising... still do.

Not expecting much of a reply from this... just venting, I guess. Thanks for listening. 

12 lbs in 3 months, really, wow, that is fabulous!!!  That is definitely great, progress.  Sounds like you have made some really smart life changes.

As far as exercising, yes try different things so you can find out what you really like, and it will be more fun than a chore.

Take care.  Continue your healthful life adventure and remember to give yourself a break sometime.  Try not to compare yourself with others.  Not everyone should be a size 2.  To add to that someone who eats bread, cheese and bacon on a regular basis, must have clogged arteries among other health issues.  I feel sorry for her if she thinks she is healthy just because she is a smaller size.

Once again, great job on your 12 lbs!  Hope you have a good day!

Original Post by jordana44:

I have a problem and IT'S NOT FAIR!!! I don't understand why so many people can eat whatever they want and look svelt. My sister-in-law is a size 2. She's had 3 kids, and her eating habits consist of bread, cheese and bacon.

I feel like a child feeling so sorry for myself. I can't accept the answer everyone gives me, "You Just Have To Do It."

Why do I 'just have to do it?' Why can't someone do it for me? Why can't I just enjoy my life without having to think about food 24/7?

If I'm not dieting, I'm happy - for a while - then I get depressed.

I'm just looking for a better answer than "you just have to do it." Is there one?

Ok, I know it feels like it isn't fair.....but here's the thing....nobody said life was fair. I am not trying to be harsh, cuz I've been where you are, but thinking that way isn't going to get you where you want to go. All my life I have struggled with my weight and I also used to hate exercise. I was envious of all of those people who could eat everything in sight and still be skinny. I was also envious of those people who seemed to love every sport and be good at them too. I was never that girl.

That said, I have learned to conquer my hatred of exercise....so much so that I am now a personal trainer! Hard to believe if you knew me 15 years ago. I have also learned to change the way I eat and to actually enjoy eating healthy foods. Do I ever slip up? Of course! Do I ever get down on myself? Yup! But, when I do get down, I remind myself that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to and that comparing myself to other people is a COMPLETE waste of energy. I also feel great knowing that I am doing what is best for my body and for my health. I am actually glad that I had to struggle to get to where I am now...and I am still not finished. But, I think the struggle has made it so much more worthwhile!

Also, keep in mind that your sister in law may be a size 2, but what do her insides look like? One day she may be saying to you "life isn't fair" because she has heart disease or some other disease relating to eating foods that are so high in fat. You on the other hand may end up healthier because of making better food choices.

You need to focus on doing what is best for you and for your body. You need to focus on the positive things that come from eating healthy and getting exercise. I know that it is easy to get frustrated and to get down on yourself. I go through periods like that too, I think everyone does. But negative thinking just results in more negative thinking. Try to focus on the positive things in your life and remember that any time you compare yourself to someone else....you are the one who loses.