Should Grandparents have the legal right?

I don't know what the situation is in the US but here in the UK grandparents have no legal right see their grandchildren, they are now campaigning to try and have the legal right to see them...

Do you think they should have a legal right or not?

I am still putting my thoughts together about it at the moment.....

I think, but I'm not sure, that there have been court cases where grandparents have won the rights to see their grandchildren over here. 

Personally, providing both parents are alive, I don't think they should have the right.  The kids aren't thier kids.  I would think the only time that there'd be a problem is when there already was somekind of bad blood between the children's parents and the grandparents, and I don't see how subjecting the kids to that is good for anybody. 

Now, if the grandparents are asking for visitation because their son or daughter died and the surviving parent isn't letting the grandchildren see them, then there might be a reason, providing the dead parent didn't specifically mention that they didn't want the children around thier parents.

I do think every child should know their grandparents and it seems wrong not to allow them to see them. The bad blood between the parents and grandparents shouldn't effect the children who aren't even involved. Denying their right to see their grandparents because you (the parent, not directed at anyone here) don't get along for whatever reason is a bit selfish.

I think they should.  I have 4 grandkids, and I don't think anyone would try to keep me from seeing them, but if for instance something happened to my daughter and her husband tried to keep my from seeing them.... well, it would be very hard, and I think unfair to them as well as to me. 

I'm a bit torn on the issue. My brother is going through a nasty divorce (she used to hide drugs in my nephews room when she was an infant...) his ex-wife is a drug-addict and an alcoholic. Yet her parents are still incredibly supportive of her and enabling her behavior. So the grandparents got fed up with my brother not allowing them to visit as he was trying to get my nephew Vincent in a more stable life after his mom left..  they decided to call child services on my brother and one day they came and took Vincent out of his elementary school to ask him if his dad ever "hit him" or "abused him".
Poor Vinny They KNOW my brother is a great father and has never abused my nephew, but wanted their daughter to get full custody of him. They put my brother through a lot of trouble.. and now since it's all settled, his mom gets him two weekends a month with him, and her grandparents get Vincent one weekend a month. Gotta love California.

So I would say it really depends on the situation.

Well i have been thinking about it and i can see both ends of it, yes wonderful grandparents can and do play a vital role in the child's life but not all are great and my concern is that if it is made law it can and will open up the flood gates of the not so great ones getting access which will add stress rather than stability.

It could and will cause even more hostility to what maybe an already sketchy relationship.

edit: proof read proof read 

Original Post by andie-1:

Well i have been thinking about it and i can see both ends of it, yes wonderful grandparents can and do play a vital role in the child's life but not all are great and my concern is that if it is made law it can and will open up the flood gates of the not so great ones getting access which will add stress rather stability.

This is my take on it as well.  I'm truly empathetic for dedicated grandparents who simply want to be part of their grandchild's life and are being unfairly stigmatized by ignorant parents.  But in the end, it's an internal family matter, the parents have the right to make decisions, and unless abuse is involved, the government has no place in mediating them.  

In addition to the possibility you mentioned, I would be concerned about such a law giving grandparents the right to prevent parents from moving away with their children for any reason, even job relocation.

Barring extreme circumstances, parents have the right to raise their children as they see fit.

Original Post by andie-1:

Well i have been thinking about it and i can see both ends of it, yes wonderful grandparents can and do play a vital role in the child's life but not all are great and my concern is that if it is made law it can and will open up the flood gates of the not so great ones getting access which will add stress rather stability.

I could and will cause even more hostility to what maybe an already sketchy relationship.

 

 Gonna have to agree with you on this as well.  I can see both sides and I'm kind of torn.  If I had to lean one way or the other, I'd say no.  As long as one or both of the parents was alive and deemed fit to care for their own child, I would have to say no to any court enforced visitation or rights of the grandparents.

Original Post by santonacci:

In addition to the possibility you mentioned, I would be concerned about such a law giving grandparents the right to prevent parents from moving away with their children for any reason.

Barring extreme circumstances, parents have the right to raise their children as they see fit.

Yes indeed i hadn't thought about that, where would it end, would/could it come to a parent having to fight the grandparent in a custody battle?

And along the line of what kirie said i have known a situation where in the grandparents mind the parents were not doing a great job and the grandparent reported her own daughter/son in law for child abuse when there was none, , but that didn't stop an unbelievable about of trouble for the parents all because the grandparent wanted to be caring for the kids.

They don't have a right, but can sue in court for visitation if it's denied.  I went through this in the 1980s and was able to prevent my crazy father in law from seeing my children.  Unfortunately for him, he lied on the stand and was forced to back off under threat, from the judge, of prosecution for perjury.  It was a case of his nastiness coming back to bite him.  My daughter was afraid of him.

The question was whether the grandparents should have a legal right.....Instinctively I would say absolutely not - but that is assuming that the grandparents are somehow messed up, and bad people for the kids to be around. 

But then, if the parents themselves are messed up, then it would be the best thing to have the grandparents have a right to step in. 

Can't we all just get along and treat each other with respect? The legal system should just be there for the worst case scenarios - uugghh.

In a perfect world, and most times legally - preference is given to parents having rights of their children. 

Who can not think of some grandparents - of friends, or family, or their own grandparents - that you would not want your own kids to be around? Probably everyone knows of some.

Does anyone know what family members usually have the rights if the parents do not? Would it be siblings of the parents? Or the grandparents? It is always family right? Then somehow family friends or something?

This is really interesting. I mean I don't have kids but still, very interesting and important. And something other than FOOD! 

No way, it's the parents choice. Unless the parents are unfit parents there is no reason for them to force visitation - the grandparents are just as responsible for their relationship with their adult children as the adult children are so if they haven't been able to foster a relationship with the parents, why on earth would they feel they have a god given right to have access to the grandchildren.

I grew up with my grandparents living on the other side of the country so in all practical purposes they were not in my life at all. Did I feel I missed out on something ... probably. Did it hurt me in the long run, not even slightly.

Though it's generally a good thing for every kid to know and spend time with their grandparents, grandparents should not be entitled to any sort of legal right of visitation that would be enforceable over the parents' wishes.  Parental rights are sacred, and should always trump the wishes of others, be it the wishes of grandparents or even the state, except in the case of the child being in immanent danger. 

I do think, however, grandparents should be considered for having first dibs on custody when parents are legally unfit or have died--there should be a presumption in favor of keeping kids with the family.

Also, perhaps there should be an exception to the rule in the case of an underage parent that is too young to care for the child--but in those cases, adoption of the baby by the grandparent is a reasonable alternative.