Are you a grown-up?

One of the amazing things I have found over the course of my life is my inability to feel grown up.  When I was a kid, I thought once I was close to 20, out of high school, I would be grown-up.  I would be confident, I would know most of the answers, I would know what to do in any situation.  I would know myself, what I like, what I want out of the world and myself.

When that time came, I thought maybe when I graduated college it would come about.  Then it was once I settled into a job.  Then it was have kids (oh, boy was I wrong there!)

My point is - I still don't feel like I have "mastered" life.  I still feel rather immature and naive.  I still feel like I am changing, becoming a person that is quite unlike the person I was 10 years ago.  I don't always know what I want, or who I am.  I NEVER have all of the answers.  And I'm beginning to think I will always be this way, and it is not necessarily a bad thing.

So, my question is:  Does EVERYONE feel this way?  Do you ever settle into your skin and know with certainty "This is me" and this is how you will be?

I'm totally a grown up.

*ppppbbbbbtttt*

i feel comfortable in my skin but i still dont feel grown up. i strive for regression. age is... a state of mind. does that make me a grown up?

*sticks thumbs in ears and waggles fingers*

I don't know, are you?

I'm just feeling like...I'm still growing. 

I don't think anyone ever masters life they just believe that they have. I'm 42 and mine is no where near where I thought I would be don't think it ever will be.

I am quite taken aback by who I am/turned into I am nothing like the person I was even just a few years ago and not necessarily for the better.

Me too Ruxie, me too.  Despite having kids, I didn't feel grown up until I hit 30.  30 was the best birthday ever, becasue people could call me immature, but they could not dispute that I was an adult.

I was on the phone with my Granny when I read your post.  She's 89 this year, and she said her neither, but she'll let you know when it happens. 

I got nuthin for you except at least the questions are getting better.

LOL, Runie!  (Whose questions, BTW?  Are you saying my earlier questions weren't as good?  *Feathers ruffling...*)

Yes, that was the conclusion I was coming to, but wanted to see what everyone else thought. (I'd hate being the only 33 year old to admit feeling immature, you know!)

It just surprised me when I realized that I felt like I was still growing up.  Maybe I'm going through a mid-life crisis.

At 55 I feel like I am a grown-up.  Not that I am done growing and changing.  I believe that people grow and change as long as they live.  But I feel like a responsible adult most of the time and expect to be treated as one.  It took a long time to get to this point though.

My mom is in her eighties and she feels the same way--too young for the body she has now.  And I don't feel like I should be in my forties, maybe early twenties, so I feel betrayed when my body (and my mind) won't do what it did so easily at twenty.  But I wouldn't give up the last twenty years of experience.  I don't know if you really start living until you hit your thirties.

Original Post by puh8suwrux:

LOL, Runie!  (Whose questions, BTW?  Are you saying my earlier questions weren't as good?  *Feathers ruffling...*)

Simmer down Crazy old Lady!   

I meant your questions are better than the lame-o ones some of the youngins ask.

Unfortunately, I still don't feel "grown up" at times.  I feel like 30 most days. Some days I feel older, some days younger.. Aging...a conumdrum, isn't it??

I'm 20 years old and I honestly feel the same that I did in junior high. I mean, I'm more bitter about life and have had more life experiences, but I feel like I'm the same person with the same personality. 

I'm going to be 32 and I don't feel old or grown up yet.  I have the job; I have the baby; I have the mortgage; and I even managed to pay off my car.  Yet; I'm still evolving into my independant wonderful self.  

In my little world; I still feel like there is so much to learn, absorb, do, see and feel.  Ive only yet to BEGIN living my life I feel like. 

I was SO friggin excited to turn 30.  I actually felt FREE for the first time in my life and felt like I could finally SUPPORT and EMBRACE and not SECOND-GUESS my decisions. 

what a ultra-capped post!!!

and oh yeah!  that also means that I'm still young enough to get mad at my husband :)

Psh you don't have to be young to get mad at your husband. I'll still get mad at mine when I'm an old old lady. And I'll still pout at him too. That's a funny mental picture... pouty old lady.

At 26 No i don't feel like grown up. Though life has taught me several things, I'm still the same as i was in high school.

I like to be petted and pampered like a child and I still fight with my fiance for who gets the last scoop of icecream.

easy question, no i don't. in fact i was more mature when i was 18, except i didn't have all these stupid bills. but you couldn't pay me to be a teenager again, except maybe at 18-19.

I'm mid forties and feel that whilst I haven't exactly mastered life or got all the answers, I'm a bit more confident about the answers I'm currently working with.  I'm generally happy in my skin because these days I know what I'm doing might not be perfect and my decision-making may be flawed, but I don't really worry about it.  And when it comes to other people's opinion I care much less about what they think than I ever did in the past.  That's the big difference between the younger me and the grown-up me... everything's so much less of a 'big deal'.

Immature moments happen and sometimes I'd like to be able to be completely reckless.... but that's not going to happen.  Too much depends on me for that.

The minute you decide you have "mastered life" or "know all the answers" is when you have become arrogant and stodgy,  Each new problem makes us look at life with new eyes.  This kind of renewal is the closest you will ever get to immortality (not that you say you wanted that).  But being unsure makes sure we have something to live for. 

I'm not certain what stagnancy has to do with being an adult? To live is to change. And I aagree with the poster above who says that the only people who think they have all the answers are arrogant and wrong. You could live 100 lives and still not have all the answers. That's the exciting thing about life!

But to answer the question directly... I am a grown up in some senses, and still a child in others. I prefer it that way! :D

Original Post by runesplendor:

Original Post by puh8suwrux:

LOL, Runie!  (Whose questions, BTW?  Are you saying my earlier questions weren't as good?  *Feathers ruffling...*)

Simmer down Crazy old Lady!   

I meant your questions are better than the lame-o ones some of the youngins ask.

 Crazy Old Lady - that's my MIL!  And, hayleymajayley - she pouts wonderfully!  I think no teeth really helps it out!

Thanks, for your answers guys - perhaps I am on my way to being a wise, fun-loving granny!  The older I get, the more I begin to think I DON'T want to know it all - what would be the fun in that?!!

When I started feeling like a grown up:  Last year, when my oldest son started 2nd grade, and for the first time, one of my kids had a teacher that was younger than I was (by over 10 years).  I'm not sure why - it just me feel....more mature for some reason.

Which is not to stay I feel static, or "settled" - I still have a lot of learning to do, two young children that have yet to go through the teenage years, and a career that has recently taken a welcome change.  But it's all good.