Guilty conscience please help i havent told anyone

One of my oldest friends who i have known for about 11 years has a boyfriend they've been going out for about 2 years.We are both 16 and he is 22.

I See them together a lot and am good friends with both of them.They live in my village and are included in a lot of my social life.Although one problem is me and her boyfriend text eachother realy flirty and he wants to meet up with me,kind of have me as a 'bit on the side' so to speak.Im over at her house he always waits until she leavesnd then says all this about how he always thinks about me etc etc plus more explicit things.Their relatinship is on the rocks but i dont know what to do,I mean he knows we like each other and so do i but already i havent really done anything and im feeling incredibly guilty because i see her all the time.Hes always wolf whisting making comments and one thing he does is when im with her talking hell text me something flirty on my phone on purpose.

What should i do??

Btw I know that he is a bit older but im legally allowed to have sex and etc.. etc.. you get the picture the point is that i want to go with him

Anybody???

If you care about your friend, do nothing, but tell him to stop.

If you do something, you are not a friend to your friend.

Also, what if he broke up with her, went out with you, your relationship ran into a little bit of difficulty, and he started hitting on your friends? How would that make you feel?

You can have sex anytime... you're a female, and there are always men willing to provide you with it. So, he's not offering you anything special.

I'll advise you to be cautious about starting a relationship with a person who is so willing to be deceptive and go behind his current girlfriend's back in order to be with another person - it's not exactly trustworthy behavior.  Questions to consider:

If he were doing this with anyone other than you, and you knew about it, what would you be telling your good friend of 11 years?  How much of a difference does it make that you're personally involved?

Thank you guys and i totally agree with you

Thing is,its not as easy as that.I know that its wrong and I presume he does too and of corse i am concerned about my friends feelings.Although i cant deny that i dont reciprocate the feeling because i like him.I keep saying to him Id rather you be with her or if your not happy,at least dont go behind her back'.And he always says 'oh but i want to be with you' etc..Im just sick of it all having to be a secret.Secret meetings..secret texts and so on.It is true that if i wasnt personally involved i would more than likely tell my friend.I just dont want another guy using me for sex,although sometimes i feel like he is.Ive explained this to him and he says that he would never do that.Its just hes the sort rof guy that makes you feel like the only girl in the room,if you know what i mean.Im always telling myself to stop thinking about him but whenver i catch myself daydreaming when hes around he always text me or whispers to me.'Thinking about me??' ' I wish it was you i was going to bed with tonight' etc..

Ive got such a guilty conscience and i feel horrible.

Of course he wants to use you for sex, and he's using her her too.  What a creep!  The reason he wants young girls is, women his own age wouldn't put up with it.

he's willing to cheat on ur friend and he'll do that with u if u hook up 2gather that one,and 2nd alot of guys roam the earth u will find one who fits u best,and 3rd dont ruin ur relation ship with ur friend for such a dorky.

plus its unethical

It sounds really niave and gullible but i beilive whatever he says when i ask him if all he wants he sex he says no and i dont question that.However I do,im always thinking omg hes only using me.So why cant i stop it then?? Ive tried but i cant.I see him all the time and he turns all of my words into innuendo but i knw he is a nice guy.Hes always complementing me and checking t osee if im alright.

It doesn't sound gullible and naive, it is gullible and naive.

It is possible that you are insecure, need attention, and this guy gives it to you... of course, I could be wrong.

He's not a nice guy. A nice guy would not try to go out with his girlfriend's friend behind her back.

A nice guy would say, "Listen, I'm with so-and-so, and we're trying to work it out... so, even though I'm attracted to you, we can't do this." A nice guy would say, "I'm not going to lead my girlfriend, or you, on any longer. I am going to let her go." THAT is a nice guy.

I've had people compliment me that hate my guts. I've had guys who have said they aren't after me for sex, and then try to do the opposite. People can lie, you know, even people you think you know well. I mean, aren't you lying to your friend right now?

You can change your number so he doesn't text you. When he tries to get you alone, you can leave. When he says inappropriate things to you, you can ignore him, or tell him to shut up.

You can stop it if you really want to.

Put yourself in your friend's shoes, then you'll have your answer.

Are you currently sleeping with him? In which case you are no friend to your friend at all and do whatever you like, because you obviously don't care about her feelings one iota.

However if you are not sleeping with him, you are still betraying her by carrying on this illicit "flirty" relationship behind her back. How do I know? Because I was in your shoes when I was a little older than you and I was faced with the same choice.
I chose the guy, and it was the stupidest thing ever. We were a couple for about 9 months then broke up. It took my friend nearly 10 years to forgive me, and I still feel guilty and like a bitch for being "that" girl. Trust me, you want to retain your integrity because you will regret it if you don't. You feel guilty for a reason - because what you are doing is WRONG.

On a side note, the guy sounds like a complete tosser to me - he was 20 when he started dating a 14 year old. He wants what he can't have, and once he CAN have it, he won't want it any more - I know the type well. He is masturbating his own ego by having these two young girls on the string at once. He doesn't care about you or he wouldn't be putting you in this situation. He's a wanker and I would avoid him if I were you.

It's fun to have the attention from him and it's exciting to have such a juicy secret. Think this one through and through - I've been in the same situation and lost my good friend. It wasn't worth it - the game playing was much more fun, but what happened afterward made me hate my actions, especially when I realized the guy was a dud.

 we all go through what ur going through but its not right to do it so we dont most of us at least,from my point of view i feel ur like 90% good with the idea of hooking up with him,if so than go do what u want,but remeber "what goes around comes back around",and yet its so tempting he's cute good looking and gives me the attention i need so why not do it,especiially if no one will know.

it's a conendrum indeed

Hmm i thought there was only one state in the US that had the age of consent that low... that is assuming you live in the US and that state...    What a spooky guy though...    I just see that as messed up, i will barely accept a date with a girl that is 18 and im only 21.  Dunno could just be me.

She's in the UK, giggle_puppy.

But I agree... that guy is messed up.

My assumption was the poster lives in the UK, age of consent is 16 over here.

Here is my opinion on the matter, if my boy and my friend were doing this to me and i found out, you'd better watch your back. As harsh as it sounds i've had a best friend sleep with my now ex boyfriend and those two people had better make sure they never run in to me again.  It might be flirty texts and conversations now but from the sounds of things thats not where is going to end, You're going to hurt your friend and then get hurt yourself twice as much when you realise you've been used by an untrustworthy idiot and have also lost your best friend , but if you're already going behind her back then i don't think you can really be considered her friend at all.

You've been friends with this girl for a long time, compared to the length of that friendship this guy's been around for 5 minutes. Why the hell is a guy of 22 going out with a 16 year old in the first place? I know usually the guy in the relationship is older but really? at your age the gap isn't usually so much.  If their relationship is on the rocks and he wants to be with someone else why doesn't he just end it? You already know this bloke is untrust worthy, he's messing someone else around and he'll do it to the next person too.

You should stop what you're doing right now, it's stupid, mean and childish, delete his number from your phone and avoid being in situations where you two are alone.

Also just because you're legally allowed to have sex doesn't mean you're mentally mature enough to do it, you shouldn't have sex unless you're prepared to deal with the negative concequences that come along with it.

Over 10yrs ago I was the girlfriend in a situation like this. I dated my boyfriend for 1 1/2 yrs thought we had a great relationship. Until one night I caught him in bed with what I thought was my best friend. I never forgave her or him for what they did that night. If you really care about your friend you will stop all this and not allow it to go any further between you and this guy. If you don't care then let it go on and you will probably lose an 11yr friendship over a creep.

This guy is not a nice guy. If he was this whole situation would not be going on to begin with. 

 

i dont think this one takes much thinking

your young... and you haven't had much experience in this department so im just giong to say

BAD NEWS.... it isn't worth it.

Walk away, you may end up with a reputation you never live down.

In ten years you will be happy you made the right choice....WHICH i know that you know....because you wouldn't have to ask if you didn't know what choice was the right one to make

A

If she ever found out i wouldnt know what  to do.Also both her family and mine are really close and were always seeing eachother-so im really concerned someone wouldnt find out.Yes,and the reason i am asking is because i dont know what to do,of course i know what is right to do but just becuase thar is the case doesnt mean im still undecided.

I cant avoid him as such due to the social aspect of thingsIts just that when we are talking as a three i feel really guilty and conscious of who could know because this guy os very close to my guy cousin.

You know the right thing to do and you know the wrong thing, yet you still aren't sure? In my opinion this other girl would be better off without a 'friend' like you on scene. From the sounds of it you don't really care about her feelings, you are just worried about what will happen to you and your reputation when everyone finds out.