Guy advice

So I met this guy on a cruise and he seemed interested. He asked for my number and called me an hour after getting off the ship (I told him it'd take me like 4 hours to drive home, lol) so I wasn't home.

I saw his number on caller ID and gave him a call. One of the first things he asked was when I was coming down (he lives 3 hours away, but I'll be rooming in my college like 10 minutes from where he lives). So I thought that was a sign of interest.

The conversation doesn't last long, and he sounded kind of nervous. He said he'd call me back, and didn't - it's a day later. I'm not aching with pain or anything, just... confused. Would it seem needy or anything if I called, or does he not sound interested?

I'm not good at these "are you interested" mind games. ):

Did you tell him you'd be living ten minutes away? Sounds like he was looking for a no-strings hook-up. I would forget him and be happy about it.

Yeah, he knows. His mom even said I should come to dinner when I'm down there. He knows about the campus and all that.

Plus, he referred to me as a friend, so I don't know why things should be akward.

Not necessarily.  I would just wait and see what happens, if he calls, he calls.  I would not call him though, I always liked to be pursued myself.

It's been one day?

A billion things could have happened, give the poor guy a break. If he sounded nervous, he probably was! I wouldn't call him, and just let him call you. The more you seem unattached and completely not busy, the less interesting you seem.

Don't avoid him if he does call, but certainly don't call him, especially not after only a day. That just screams "Pay attention to me I'm lonely!", and most guys don't like lonely clingy girls.

Be strong, entertain yourself with friends, and wait and see :)

The more you seem unattached and completely not busy

Hmm....the more unattached and completely not busy a person seems would make them seem more interesting! (as in, the guy thinks he has more of a chance).

and most guys don't like lonely clingy girls.

I think on this one....it depends on just how lonely and clingy. If they are at the "i have 100 cats!!" stage....then maybe thats a little too lonely o.O

Original Post by loriklorik:

The more you seem unattached and completely not busy

Hmm....the more unattached and completely not busy a person seems would make them seem more interesting! (as in, the guy thinks he has more of a chance).

and most guys don't like lonely clingy girls.

I think on this one....it depends on just how lonely and clingy. If they are at the "i have 100 cats!!" stage....then maybe thats a little too lonely o.O

You come from a very different world than most people I encounter. If I (or 90% of my friends, male and female) encounter someone who is constantly wanting our attention, doesn't seem to have any hobbies or other friends, they quite quickly get annoying.

I agree on how lonely, but after only one day, her calling him signals too lonely to me. Too eager as well.

I suppose it also depends on how much of a connection you have with this guy Muttlover. You said the conversation was short, and he seemed nervous, so I'm assuming it's not a huge all consuming connection, but more of one that is just kindling.

He asked for your number,  so he is obviously interested. If he sounded nervous on the phone, he is obviously afraid of sounding like an ass and making himself appear unattractive to you.

A male secret: The PHONE is one of the most dreaded and feared devices for most men. Why? The phone is usually where the woman flakes, she never answers or returns a guy's call and her attention is lost forever. This  is why he was nervous.

In reality, 99 percent of women would not call him back. If you want to do what every other women does, then do not call him back. Most women are not needy or clingy and they do not have to pretend, that is the way things are for women. Women have choice, and men are incredibly easy. This especially applies to beautiful women.

But if you have a mutual interest in him like he does for you, then call him back. Lonely and clingy girls are GREAT! if they are hot and actually wanted. Most guys are lonely and clingy themselves.

For a woman, a lonely and clingy man is a deal breaker -it's TERRIBLY unattractive. Yet when it comes to a guy, not so much until maybe a few months into the relationship.

Right now that guy is trying to make you think he is not that interested in you to avoid looking like He IS LONELY AND CLINGY! Have you watched the movie Swingers? Guys have a one or two day rule where they will not call a girl so they can avoid the stalker/creepy reputation that women hate so much. hahaha.

 

 

He could be busy and things came up so he didn't call. I don't think it seems clingy to call him...maybe don't say "oh you didn't call me so I'm calling to see why", just say you called to say hi or you were bored and ask him what's up.

I'll pretty much agree with previous posters like vicereine. If you want to call him - then call him. The world isn't going to end if it turns out he's really not truly interested in you beyond a "hook up".

Whether or not it would seem if you're "needy" totally depends on the other person, but if you think you're needy then you're needy. If you don't think you're needy then you're not. The other person may think contrary to your thoughts or totally agree with you. But, hey if you want to know - you'll never know till you try.

I'm hoping you're right, bradlupis. Now that I think about it, even my brothers and father are terribly akward and.. weird on the phone. I guess it's a problem for some guys.

I'll be visiting my college for an Open House thing on April 22, so maybe we can get together then. I'll call him a week before or so and tell him I'll be in the area. Is it weird when people wait a while to call back and make plans like that? It happens on tv, haa.

From what you said i can tell he sucks at picking a girl up.   If he doesnt call you back within 4 days tell him to **** off and learn his game better.  Dont call back either, if you do you'll have lost what control you have, and giving it to someone who has a god awful game, well you'll be in for a ride lol.

Don't call him.  If he wants to, he'll call you.  If he doesn't want to, he won't.

While I don't support being the type of girl that harasses a guy, I don't think it hurts to call him a day later. I think it is ridiculous when people say that the girl shouldn't be the one to make contact in the beginning. If you never call him how is he supposed to know that YOU are interested in HIM? If he is a little on the shy side and he is not sure if you like him, failing to ever attempt contact could be seen as disinterest.

Meh if a girl called me back a day later when i told her id call her back... well she most likly wouldn't get that next date.

Not all of us are super studs that have a date "waiting lists" like you giggle_puppy.... o.O

I realize that, just be hopeful and wish upon a star... and all that.... 

Didn't call the very next day?

I'd that is actually probably good. At least he has a clue about how calling too quick and often usually comes off as clingly, needy & yucky.

Sometimes I've waited as long as four or five days before calling if I really liked her. I think part of the fun for the woman is knowing you'll call (well most of the time anyway...lol) but not knowing when. A little anticipation never hurts can actually spike her interest. If the woman is really pretty, she'll probably expect an early call within a day or so. All the more reason to wait a little bit so you aren't being as predictable as the rest of the guys. 

As for the comment about guys hating the phone...there is nothing I dislike more than than making that first call for the very reasons mentioned above. Fear the phone, more than meeting her dog, roomate, friends or family. Why? About 90% of communication is non-verbal for starters so the phone sucks right out of th gate.

Most of the time...males chase and women choose...that how courting tends to work. With that said:

If you really have to/want to contact him...instead of calling...maybe a cute little text message of some sort would the way to go. Unless he's a moron, he'll txt back or call if he's interested.

I wouldnt call a guy. I dont call unless we are getting pretty serious and dating very often or exclusive. Maybe thats a little old fashioned I dont know. I know city girls a little different about things in the dating world but I really think this is the best way to go. Men and women both like the thrill of the chase. Remember the play ground?? The boys chased the girls they liked and loved doin it, but when girls would chase them they hated it and screamed "cooties".  Not much has changed really I dont think. We're still the same. You just have to know you are worth the effort and I think you oughta wait for a guy who is willing and wants to, chase you :).  If this guy doesnt call back, his loss. On to the next!  But I agree that it does make you more interesting if you play a little hard to get. I dont consider that head games, its just what you do when your dating. It's flirty and fun. And lets you know the guy isnt easily scared off. I dont buy that "scared of the phone" bit. If he can't be comfortable and be himself with you whats the point? I guess thats all for my 2 cents :P Have fun with it! Pretty much every one on here is right cuz everyone is different. Whatever works for ya'll :)

Megg, doesn't matter if you buy the a lot of guys don't like the phone bit or not...it's a pretty common thing that a lot of guys don't enjoy that first call part. It's much easier to communicate in person etc.

I think your very much right if he's too scared to call at all, he isn't worth her time. That doesn't mean he's eager to pick up the phone even if he's very interested. Might take a little while. Might as well make her wait and little to build some anticipation.

I think your right on the mark about the boys chasing the girls on the playground etc.