guys/men/males, what do you look for in a girl

be totally honest, do looks/body etc make a big impact on first impression? or is it true that looks dont matter, its whats on the inside that counts?

Looks / body make a huge impact on first impressions. Either they are your type...or they arent. Its the first thing someone considers to see if they are interested or not (99 percent of the time).

But after that, there is a lot more thats considered. Such as common interests, attitude, intellect...

Think of it like a product at the store. You are normally going to pick it up to look closer because of pretty packaging...but if there is nothing inside, you are going to put it back on the shelf and keep shopping.

It depends on the guy and the maturity level. Younger guys are going to go based pretty much entirely on the superficial. The older a guy gets, the more he realizes that a) what he wanted isn't what he wants, and b) that what he wants requires more than a pretty face and a nice rack.

Generally speaking, appearances matter insomuch that a guy's going to be more into you if you give him 'testicular resonance', but it's not the be-all. Moreover, pretty doesn't equate to sexy (although it helps), and a guy will go for what's sexy-but-average over what's pretty-but-unexciting every time.

Original Post by hatamoto:

It depends on the guy and the maturity level. Younger guys are going to go based pretty much entirely on the superficial. The older a guy gets, the more he realizes that a) what he wanted isn't what he wants, and b) that what he wants requires more than a pretty face and a nice rack.

Generally speaking, appearances matter insomuch that a guy's going to be more into you if you give him 'testicular resonance', but it's not the be-all. Moreover, pretty doesn't equate to sexy (although it helps), and a guy will go for what's sexy-but-average over what's pretty-but-unexciting every time.

 I think the key word you are looking for is "attractive". Attractive can be anything (and doesnt need to equal sexy or unusually pretty). Even older men are going to go after what they think is attractive (and sometimes, attractive is linked to available).

Women of physical beauty have power. Generally, if a woman wants to increase her sex appeal, she can lose weight if she is overweight or obese. Throughout history, women in art tend to be voluptuous, fit, and thin; not obese or terribly overweight, yet there is an exception in Peter Paul Rubens' artwork.

Also, a woman can get away with being "overweight" according to her BMI if her body fat is distributed in a flattering way such as on her hips, butt, and breasts as opposed to on her stomach, thighs, and under her chin. The fat on the favorable areas must look pleasing and create attractive proportions.

Some of the guidelines that apply to men will apply to women. That being if she dresses trendy, modern, and fashionable, she will become more attractive. And if she takes care of her basic hygiene such as waxing any place where there shouldn't be hair, has GOOD teeth (can make an ugly woman stunning), good skin, and no bad breath.

Tanning can really improve some women's looks, and for others completely ruin their pallid beauty.

Attractive qualities are:

1. Be a leader of your friends. The leader is automatically seen as more valuable and powerful than anyone who follows.

2. Smile and use open body language, and touch people when you talk to them.

3. Flirt, laugh, sense of humor, be playful and energetic. I can't stress flirting enough.

4. Have different sides to personality. Be playful, but also have a serious side, never be one dimensional.

5. Always be cooler than the guy, and make him work for your attention.

6. And the most powerful.... playing hot and cold or push and pull. Something that women do to make many men fall in love with them. And I'm not going to tell you that one!

I think its a huge thing, not only for men but women too, it seems human nature.  Its your initial instinct.  If you find someone attractive you are drwn to them, interested and want to get to know them....its then that you decide whether to take it further.

For first impressions its true that looks etc do make a huge significant impression however it can also be true that its whats on the inside that counts.....yu could have all the looks in the world but if your brain dead and have no sense of humour your rendered nothin more than a dusty oil paintin that will sit on the shelf if you get me lol

Dont think its just the men that it matters to, us women are just the same ;0)))

Btw stephh11 you seem to have a great figure if thats the pic of you, so i really wouldnt worry about losin 2-5lb especially as your 15 too, you'll keep changing for the next 5-6yrs.  Maybe just focus on maintaining your weight, if your conscience of gaining, and just have lots of fun !!!!!     :0))

I find it funny how many women reply to these threads.

Original Post by littlecalypso:

I find it funny how many women reply to these threads.

What you like in a woman?

Guy: I like... (woman covers his mouth with her hand)

Woman: He likes a full figured woman with a great personality, but every guy is different of course!

I really don't mind. It's usually the same advice, "Looks are overrated, but every person is different when it comes to attraction." It just eliminates universal, majority, and group aesthetics. The idea of beauty is not that diverse since we have something called fashion models, Mrs. Universe, and Playboy playmates who all appeal to a mass market of men. 

They make a huge impact on the first impression. On the first impression you have little else to go by, I mean, you have a few words, perhaps a handshake (or the much preferable High Five). What else do you have to go on?

Now, I've dated girls I didn't find attractive when I first met them, since they grew on me (and actually did a lot to change what I find attractive because of being who they were). Personality can play a role in the longer run.

By the way, Fortius has some very good advice in his first post.

Also, you can't replace confidence. Confident women are attractive. It shows in the way they hold themselves and the way they deal with people. It shines through and I personally want to talk to those strong women to see what it is that makes them awesome and so confident.

Lady here...

I've noticed a trend in my personal life. I'm a gal with low self esteem, I know I am not ugly but do not hold my appearance in high regard. There have been plenty of men, really good looking fit men, that I have found out later down the road really thought I was "hot" and wanted to date me but didn't pursue me too much longer after talking to me because they didn't think I was into them. Boy were they wrong! I just didn't get it. I felt because they were so gorgeous they must be way out of my league. Wrong! I didn't act confidant around them, too nervous and shy... didn't think they looked at me that way. I've also seen girls that may not be the "ideal" (whatever thta means) with the most amazing looking guys... why? Confidence. It's all about being you, using your great personailty and charm. Keep your eye out there, there are probably plenty of men looking and thinking about you and you just don't see it or don't really see you.

Original Post by littlecalypso:

I find it funny how many women reply to these threads.

(Shrug), how is it any different from when the men responded on her "women only" virginity thread and some people got upset over that? Bottom line is these are threads in a public forum, anyone with a CC account can post on them. Directing a question at a specific type of poster (Men, Women, Parents, Pet Owners, People Over 40, etc.) just suggests you're looking for certain insight, it doesn't mean it's not open to anybody else to post.

Looks and beauty have a dramatic impact on first impression and first interest - but attraction and continued interest hinge on personality.

A beautiful woman with an abhorrent personality will still be beautiful, but not attractive.

A plain jane will become attractive, even beautiful, with an attractive personality.

Original Post by st_rider:

Looks and beauty have a dramatic impact on first impression and first interest - but attraction and continued interest hinge on personality.

A beautiful woman with an abhorrent personality will still be beautiful, but not attractive.

A plain jane will become attractive, even beautiful, with an attractive personality.

I think st_rider said it perfectly. I also think it works in both directions. I'm not the prettiest person out there, but I've never had problems with finding and keeping boyfriends.

I also tend to be attracted to men who are not the hottest of the hot. For some reason, geeks/nerds tend to attract me. I think this is mostly beacuse of the personality type that seems to develop in those who were 'ugly ducklings' as they grew up.

I'm not even a male, but I can lend this line off to you.

"Yes, when I go into a mall (partner shopping. Lmao) I look for a great personality!"

Well you know just by looking at people you aren't really going to see that. Attraction pulls you in. Then again everyone has different tastes so whom one might find attractive the other may not and vice versa. Anyway like someone mentioned, it's like a book's cover. You like the illustrations on the cover of the book, but you may start to read a few pages and find it incredibly boring. Then you may find a less appealing cover, but decide to give it a try and find out "Wow, this book is very well written and keeps my interest."

I pretty much echo what everyone else said. Looks can pull you in, but if the person has nothing personally inside going for them then all attraction is lost. If you find someone less appealing, but get to know them and they have a great personality in time you do start to realize their attractive qualities.

Unless the guy is just looking for arm candy then personality won't matter, but then again I don't think that relationship will turn out to be a serious one anyway. :P

Original Post by coffincritter:

Original Post by littlecalypso:

I find it funny how many women reply to these threads.

 

(Shrug), how is it any different from when the men responded on her "women only" virginity thread and some people got upset over that? Bottom line is these are threads in a public forum, anyone with a CC account can post on them. Directing a question at a specific type of poster (Men, Women, Parents, Pet Owners, People Over 40, etc.) just suggests you're looking for certain insight, it doesn't mean it's not open to anybody else to post.

LOL! Seriously?! Men responded to that one?! That's sooooo funny to me.

I agree. This is a public forum so it's open to anyone. It's nice when people state their preference though. btw, sometimes it helps other women to just listen to the guys view on the matter just like the OP. I mean... I seriously think it would've helped some of the men to actually listen the female view on virginity without comment. Sometimes if we weren't so caught up in sharing our view and just read/listen ' female only ' or ' male only ' threads we'd learn a thing or two. We each have very different views sometimes due to our gender. I think it's awesome to just ' read ' those of the opposing gender on the matter. =-P Just my humble opinion though. The guys have made great points from their view on the matter. I don't think they needed any ladies to clean it up or cherry coat it. Just like we didn't need their view on a cherry they don't even have.

It matters, but it's not the most important factor. I'd rather be with a woman of okay looks and a personality that goes well with mine than a pretty woman with a nasty personality. I don't think I could date someone I consider completely unattractive, but beauty is not a requirement; average is fine.

Style matters more than body shape, IMHO. Someone overweight who looks neat and clean in clothes that fit is much better than thin but wearing sloppy or too-tight clothes.

I'm going to go with the person who said that first impressions draw you in. There's definitely a type of girl I find attractive and types of girls I don't.

But a personality is what'll keep him. If you don't have one, then you're stuck on the shallow end of the Gene Pool with the guy who'll dump you for someone prettier than you as you start to get older.

"Attractiveness" is such a relative word.

In the short term, if you're out on the street or in a club or some such, then attractiveness is going to initially be purely physical: your smile, your body shape, whether or not you're stylish and so forth... that initial attraction, what I call testicular resonance, is completely independant of who you are as a person. Personality doesn't enter into it whatsoever. It's purely a reflexive biological reaction.

If you're hot, you can compensate for a crappy attitude for a while, particularly if you're dealing with younger, less mature guys who really don't know what it is they want. Sex appeal counts.

After a while though, when that zomg gotta f**k you right NOW stage calms down and the realization you need to go to work and get groceries and whatnot creeps back in, personality plays a larger factor... to be happy, a guy needs a woman who is a great friend as well as an awesome lover. Attractiveness at this point revolves around attitude, personality, sociability and flexibility to deal with situations on the ground.

As a result, it's possible for women who aren't all that hot to find and build a solid relationship, because there's less of the "starstruck" phase and more of the "hey, we're so much alike, you're really cool" relationship building aspect. Over time, the superficial elements dissolve either way.

Presuming the two are compatible. If not, then there'll be a million reasons for each party to dislike about the other and excuses to break up or cheat or be antagonistic towards each other.