when guys ask this question.

i am casually dating this guy who asked "whats going on with us" the other day.

when guys ask this question, does it typically mean they are interested in more of a serious relationship or does it mean he is trying to figure out where i stand?

btw, i responded with "i usually say we are 'seeing' eachother if i am asked" i really didnt know what else to say. he said he tells people the same and it hasnt been brought up since. was my response approperate?

Yes appropriate, however, I would concentrate on simply answering honestly rather than trying to figure out where he's coming from. You can't go wrong when you speak from the heart.

the opperative word here is "casually. he's testing the waters to see how interested you are in him. it could be both. he may be looking for a more serious relationship, and he wants to know how you feel about him. are you just out with him to have fun, or are you truly interested in him? he sounds like a smart guy for asking. why not try telling him the truth about how you really feel? don't play games. if you want it to remain casual, or you want to date around, tell him. certainly don't lead him on. the response was not appropriate if you weren't being honest. turn it around. what if you were truly interested in him, but he just wanted to keep it casual? would you want him to be honest? i think i would.

I'm known for asking questions.  I probably would have blurted out,  "what do you mean, why are you asking?"

"what's going on with us" sounds like such a male statement and sort of vague to me.  But, I'm thinking he starting to feel or want more.  And since he brought this up I wouldn't be surprised if he brings your relationship up again before too long.

"Shakes head" fact finding questions only, do it the Dale Carnagey way.   So when he asks, what's going on with us...you say "What do you want to be going on with us?"

When they go fishing, you've got to take the bait, but don't let them real you in...just yet. 

Or if you really want to make him squirm / confuse him.... when he asks you, just meow and walk away! That will leave him with something to think about for a while!

and it's not too late to ask, "remember your question the other day, well, what were you getting at or what was on your mind then?"

thats a great point, i guess i could bring it up and find out why he asked. i just thought its usually the female that asks the "so whats going on with us" question. the fact is, i was being honest, when people ask i tell them we are seeing eachother. we live in separate towns and he makes himself available when we are in the same environment, but we dont talk on the phone nearly that much and we may send sporatic texting during the week. i dont know if thats enough contact to establish a serious, committed relationship

i doubt it, but how do you feel about him? do you want something more? why does this question need to be a female thing? guys do ask these questions. what your not addressing is whether YOU are interested in him. are you? amazing how people here come back and tell you to play games. do you like this guy? he may be sensing a great deal of uncertainty from you and is afraid to put himself out there. i agree. ask him what he meant by that question. would he like something more? whatever you do, please be honest with yourself and him. game playing is just wrong. you seem to be focusing on the wrong thing. what do you want? do you like him? do you want more? find out how he feels about you for real, then deal with that.