How do you handle inappropriate attention from people?

I don't know if it's because I'm older or because I've broadened my group acquaintances, but I am frequently running into men who do not behave appropriately.

Perhaps I'm just getting crotchety in my old age.

I keep having to block men attempting to kiss me that I've just met. Younger men tend to just go for it until they run into my forearm across their throat. I get old guys who don't know me trying to plant kisses on my cheek and I know there's no cultural custom since they're American.  Married men trying to see if I might be interested in being their extra on the side.  WTF!

For me it's typically the opposite gender who are problematic.

My general rule of thumb is to accept it as a compliment and just laugh as if they're making the funniest joke and couldn't possibly be serious.

What are you techniques for deflecting unwanted attention?

Original Post by fortius:

Original Post by coffincritter:

It used to be a simple "I have a boyfriend", whether you were currently attached or not, was a good way to turn them down politely, but now it seems when I use that men argue about it, say they're better than my man (they don't even know him), or try to urge me to sneak out on my man with them. Sometimes they keep badgering and you have to stop being polite and flatly say "I'm not interested" and put on your iPod. If they persist in following, walk into the nearest store. Usually that will stop them.

WOW, great stuff!

I just want to know has there been a situation where you said you had a boyfriend to a guy, but the guy wasn't affected by it, said something sweet to you, then you apologized to him and told him that you just said you had a boyfriend to keep random guys from hitting on you. And you later went on a date with the guy, developed a relationship with him, or had any type of romantic liaison.

No, it's never happened like that. No one's ever uttered something so incredibly sweet that it made me change my tune. The guys who persist say things like:

"I'm better than your man" (Um, you don't know him.)

"Sneak out on your boyfriend" (No refutation here, just...the answer is no.)

"Well can I get your number anyway so we can be friends?" (Friendships are formed based on mutual interests, situations etc. You don't know me so what makes you interested in being my friend?)

"You don't really have a boyfriend, you're just saying that" (Yup, you got me. So why are you continuing to persue someone who's proven to be an untrustworthy liar?)

"Oh yeah? Where's your boyfriend now? Why are you walking out alone?" (Cuz New York City is not run by the Taliban. I can go places unaccompanied by my boyfriend, you know.)

I enjoyed this thread. I had the same problem in the 70s when I went to clubs. For some reason guys think you're there to pick up a date--of course the "Ladies night" doesn't help. I've used the boyfriend line and one guy was particularly persistent. "He doesn't have to know..." then "I feel like a wall is between us..."  D_straight!! I put it there.

Overtime I developed a look that tended to stop things before they happened. Of course drunks don't get it anyway. I taught a young friend of mine how to do the look. It's really very simple. Think of something very invasive. In her case she liked doing liver dissections. In mine I think of taking out their eyes and ripping out the testicles. Doesn't matter--it could be cooking them--whatever.  Just look at them and imaging that thing. They really do tend to back off.

Self defense wise the groin is not the best target--they usually protect it. A slight stomp to the instep stops all but those so messed up they can't feel pain and you can pretend it was an accident.  OOPS!! Sorry!

I love Pink's music. "Just you and Your hand Tonight!"  Yeah!