How Do You Handle Someone Trying To Discourage You...

Or sabatoge your efforts? 

For instance, there is someone in my life who knows how hard I've been trying to lose weight and get in shape.  When we're at a restaurant and I mention ordering something healthy, he'll say something like, "you know you really want this instead."  Then I'll order something that might typically be served with a cream sauce and have them hold the sauce and he'll tell the server to bring it on the side. 

Another example.  I've been working out hard for the past few months and that person knows it.  He'll ask to check out my arms, tell me to flex, then grab the fat on the underside of my arms and make little comments or laugh. 

You know how hard you have worked.  You know the results that you are getting.  This person sounds jelous to me, lacking motivation for something that they really want to do themselves that you are suceeding at. 

Come up with responses in your head, you don?t have to say them out loud, just things like;

Just because you?re jealous of my muscle,

I?ll lose weight you?ll still be ugly,

Kiss my shrunken ass,

So, look at me in my sexy new jeans,

:o)  Trivialise it, that?s all this person is trying to do to you, trivialise your efforts which is unfair.  Keep going!!  Everyone here is supporting you.

If this person is a friend, speak to them, just say that their comments are uncalled for, you find them bordering on rude and would rather that your weight was not a topic of conversation.

there are lots of different reasons for this, and none of them are good. you have to be strong, and let it just wash over you like water off a duck's back, or, STAY AWAY from that person. your choice.
you can't change other people. you can only change yourself.

Sounds like a toxic relationship. Depending on your relationship with this person, I would spend as little time as possible with them.   If you do find yourself around this person, next time stand up to them.  Tell the waiter not to bring the sauce on the side and give this guy a look like "I dare you to say something".  Next time he wants to see your muscle say "Not if your only going to make snyde comments".  Stand up to this bully and let them know you aren't going to take it any more. 

Thanks for the replies. :)

Isn't it sad that there are people who get satisfaction watching someone fail and who just can't be happy for someone else when they succeed? 

My family are the same, in a way.  My mom brings nothing but fattening things into the house - for example, the last time she went shopping, she didn't buy salad.  If you're going shopping for everyone, and your daughter's on a diet, and your daughter usually buys salad, fish, etcetera when SHE goes shopping... why not pick up some salad?

Instead, she comes in with chicken strips and mozzerella sticks and icing for the cake she's going to make.

I think when people are directly or indirectly careless toward someone's feelings like that, they are in some way insecure and are unconsciously trying to sabotage things.  My mother's very vain, and is overweight as well, so the fact that I'm losing weight is causing her some veiled distress.

Sounds like your guy friend is insecure of something.

Must be, as others have mentioned, some jealousy or insecurity.  It takes a lot to get into shape and make healthy choices.  When I see my mom, for example, losing weight I have to admit that I get kind of jealous.  I don't say anything negative to her but she makes me feel worse about myself for not losing weight and doing what she's doing.  I choose to take those feelings out on myself, rather than on her.  Your friend, on the other hand, seems to like to take his frustrations out on the source, rather than himself.

Tell him flat out that you don't appreciate his comments or distance yourself from him.  You don't need that.  You've worked way too hard to be put down from a "friend".

yeh people suck

they like to hate you for what they wish they could do or something they failed at.

that laughing thing...god..i do not know how you just didnt use your gym muscles and smack them in the frickin face.
(dont do that..but its fun to think about..hee hee)

Better question... How do you handle it when the person trying to sabotage you is yourself? Its frustrating.

I think there is more to it than them wanting you to fail.  I finally confronted one of my cousins last year, after behavior just like you described.  She'd actually order two desserts and shove one of them at me.  Another thing, she is a terrific cook and was continually trying and coaxing to get me to try this or that, over and over even when I said no.

I got her alone and asked her right out, why, since she knows how hard I was trying to control my weight, and knows that my health is suffering because of it, does she continually try to get me to eat things I shouldn't. 

Turns out that she felt hurt that I kept turning down her carefully baked goodies, as if they weren't good enough for me.  also that I made her feel guilty in restaurants when I ordered sensibly.  I pointed out that what I'm doing has nothing to do with her and that I'm not judging her at all.  I actually made her cry!  She's been a lot more understanding since then.

I strongly beleive the insecurity.

I like to expose whatever it is that the other person feels insecure about.

He wants to feel like he's better than you.  He acts like he does to make himself feel better.  Try to find out what makes him a loser and expose it.

Treat him like the little bI%$h he is.....

make fun of something he's trying to accomplish.

and 2nd loose the weight dump his a** and find some one better,this way he'll feel the pain of his stupidity.

don't care about anyone as long as ur happy go with it.

good luck