Happiness versus Motivation verses depression

Well, I have been noticing over the last 2 years that I find it difficult to conjure up the desire to lose weight, when I am spending most of my energy trying to be happy.  So, when I am happy, which I am now most all of the time now, I don't feel as motivated to lose weight, even though it cause me some insecurities.  I use to be bulimic/and-or-anorexic, but, overcame that with food, hah. What a way to go.  Depression always played a part, but, now that I have excess weight I am finding it hard to commit to changing habits that comfort me and make me feel happy.  I can either, be totally self mutilating and starve myself, because it is hard still fighting eating disorders and that is the only thing I know I can achieve. -Or- Being fat and happy and still unhealthy.  It is a cruel cycle.  Athough my beliefs of food and body are so totally different.  I -KNOW- how to eat, -I KNOW- what to eat, but It is so emotionally challenging for me to do anything that takes me out of my comfortable happy zone.  It's like I'm saying to myself "oh, well- Ignorance is Bliss"  and I'd what?-rather be a dumba** my whole life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sgieesh!!

Hi Chelle

I know how you feel I never been bulimic or anorexic but I been depress for the past four years, off and on but Im trying my best to make my self healthy and yes Im over weight! And about been happy? Well some time Im and others day I want to give up! but I always try to do my best to feel better! Im not one to give advices but try to take one day at a time go for a walk and look at the smallest details of nature and just think God create this plants, insect and trees for a reason? The same way He createdyou! Do u have friends close to you that you can take walks with? I don't have any friend so is hard for me! I had lots of friends but when I quit my job all my friends disappeared!You're lucky that you know how to eat! I don't I'm trying to learn and trying my best to eat things that are healthy but is hard! I started exercising again but is hard I know! But I started walking with my hubby and I started running on the treadmill today because my daughter made me so upset that I started crying and I thought to my self I'm not going to get depress so I got on the treadmill! and then walk for almost 5 miles! But enough about me I hope with all my heart that you feel better and don't give up!! Maybe you need some one to moteviat you? You'll feel better if you eat healthy and exercises at least just walk!!!!GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!

You know, I haven't really started any good regime of exercise, I have just been eating right, cutting out caffiene and soda and eating a whole lot more fruits and veggies.  This has really helped me out, but, like you said I really need to be doing something physical on  adaily basis.  I really want to ride my bike, but, in the area that I live in, there are NOOOO bike trails, and I am afraid peaople son't really know how to drive when they see cyclist.  So  it makes it hard for me too.  No I don't have any close friends to really be able to frequent daily.  It does make it harder. But, I will keep puhing through, and I hope you do too. I have lost a total of 10 lbs. since I started counting calories, this was before I got on CC too. So I only have like 4 lbs listed on here.  What I have found to be extremely beneficial to my counting and being able to guage my food intake.  I list my food EVERYDAY on my food log.  It has made things TONS easier.  When I was 13 I started counting calories, It gets a bit addictive, but it helps me to keep on track EVEN if I eat something I know I wasn't suppose to.  Like the other day I ate a hot Italian sausage, with a hotdog bun, mustard, and relish and mirical whip.  THAT was a huge amount of calories and I could have eaily gone over my limit..  But I put it in my food log, and I decided not to have another, and kept on track and felt good.  The small things seem to be a body saver for me.  i appreciate the motivation.