hard to be a catholic

just a quick survey.
if your bf/gf happened to be a catholic (or any religion that prevent them have sex before marriage), how long can you wait (honestly)?

Well, I'm catholic & I knew a lot of them growing up in NY.  I can't say I knew too many people actually waiting for marriage. 

If they're important enough to you, then I guess you gotta wait as long as you have to.  

Alot of Catholics don't even follow that rule.

Unless having sex is the be-all & end-all of your relationship, it seems you would just have to wait.  If marriage is in the picture, & this person is the right one, it will have been worth it in the end.

JMHO

I 2nd that poohb.   

I'm catholic and didnt wait until I was married.. most catholics dont.  at least, the ones that I know.

Hmm...I'm Catholic and went to a Catholic school.  I didn't know one person that actually planned on waiting until marriage.  My impression is that it is mostly Christians that decide to wait it out or Mormons.  Anywho...I would wait if the person was very important to me.  It really depends...have both parties never had sex? 

When I was in high school, Catholic girls were known as the sluts... we could just go to confession and ask for forgiveness. ;)

Seriously, though, how long you are willing to wait for your bf/gf has less to do with religion and more to do with your commitment to that particular person and your own needs, beliefs, etc.

Most faiths don't condone sex before marriage.

Now, try to think of how many virgins you know. :-D

well. now you all know one.
i went to catholic school my whole life, and i was really affected by the religion. just this new bf of mine just can't get his hand off me. i wonder how long will it take him to understand my belief or get really frustrated so that he break up with me.. thanks girls.

--
p.s. it is like me against him. i don't play hard to get. i am easy in terms of offering love and care. but guess guys just don't wire that way...

Well i could do it personally lol...............because even though i am not very religious at all I am waiting for marriage :)

Mormon here; waited it out until after marriage.

If he can't respect that about you, then he's probably not the one. ;-)

man, it should have nothing to do with your religion.

plain and simple: if you don't want to have sex (for any reason), you need to be consistent with your message and your boyfriend needs to respect that.  if he can't respect your desire to wait, then that should be a pretty clear sign of how much he respects you.

p.s. it is like me against him. i don't play hard to get. i am easy in terms of offering love and care. but guess guys just don't wire that way...

 It sounds like he doesn't respect your values ....this one isn't going to last long.

dammit shill.  stop reading my mind!  :)

I agree.  As long as you're not sending mixed messages, and have had a clear heart-to-heart explaining exactly what your beliefs are...then he must respect your wishes.  And that includes NOT trying to push you over the line (wherever your line happens to be).  

BUT you have to discuss it.  Do you think it's okay to kiss, touch, etc?  Have to be explicit, since his beliefs are not the same as yours.  You can't assume that he knows exactly what you do or do not want to do.

As long as you've made all that clear, and are sticking to your guns, then you have every right to expect him to abide by your wishes IF he wants to be in this relationship.  You're not forcing him to abstain.  Only to abstain if he wants to be with you.  He has every right to make that decision for himself.

(I have a friend who told her boyfriend they had to wait, then slept with him once or twice, said each time it was a mistake and she wouldn't do it again...then did it again...  I told her it wasn't really his fault that he was unhappy with the situation.)

Great minds think alike, aasil.

lamiemia, you have every right to wait until you are married (or even just ready) for sex. sounds like this guy doesn't care about how you feel. he probably thinks you are going to give in if he keeps pushing you. i have a feeling you will regret it if you do. you need to talk to him about it, ask him how he feels, and let him know you plan to wait. if you can't agree on it, you need to find someone else.

personally, i couldn't be with someone who planned to wait for marriage. it just wouldn't work for me. you need to find someone who shares your beliefs and you'll be happy!

i just wonder how many young people rush into marriage because of the pressure to put off having sex.  and i wonder which is more damaging.

pgeorgian, i wonder the same thing. have you seen that "engaged and underaged" show on MTV. good portion of them are getting married for that reason.

I wouldn't buy a car without test driving it, I wouldn't get married without giving my man a test drive.

But that's just me.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do in your relationships.