I HATE myself.

#%$&%$@%$#^^%**$!%$^%$#@%$#@^%$$!$#$!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I'm REALLY mad.
Today was supposed to be day 2 of my healthy lifestyle. Yesterday went PERFECT, I couldn't have asked for better.
But today, I ate all my planned meals, plus this:

4 Healthy Choice Fudge Bars
1 cup blueberries
1 1/2 cups fiber one cereal + 1 cup Kashi Golean + 1 1/2 cups unsweetened almond breeze
4 western bagel alternative pitas
5 packets Quaker Weight Control Oatmeal, dry

And it's only 12:31 pm. I sit here stressed, crying, and wanting to die.

hey! calm down.. it's not the end of the world. we've ALL fallen off the wagon tons of times. the important thing is just to get back on track and get over it. getting frustrated is not going to change the fact that you might have overeaten.. so why get mad?? be happy that your metabolism is now shot up and you have tomorrow to start fresh! i just ate a pb&j and banana sandwich with a glass of milk AND an ice cream float with coke.. i'm lactose intolerant lol.. so now i'm really bloated and have like a 2 pound food baby!! but tomorrow is a new day and i'm not gonna let a little overeating bring me down. besides, atleast it was tasty food. i would be mad if i overate on something that wasn't enjoyable.. ha.

Dry your tears, forgive yourself and start fresh right this minute.  We've ALL been there and the only thing to do, is start again.

Plan the rest of your day - some light snacks or meals when you get hungry - real hunger, not craving.  You might not want to go until tomorrow morning or you will be ravenous and tomorrow even harder. 

You just had a very early "cheat" day  - and it is not like you ate 6 Big Macs with supersized fries :) ! - it wasn't "bad" food...

But this has been happening almost every day now! I want to stop so bad!!! My birthday is tuesday and I want to feel good about myself! PLEASE HELP ME SOMEONE.

ok, on the days that you don't binge what does your meal plan look like? what do you eat, and how many calories? also, what are your stats?

Here was my meal plan for today:

Breakfast: 1 Fage 0% yogurt mixed with  1/2 cup fiber one, 2 tespoons peanut butter and splenda, 2/3 cup egg whites

Snack: 1 slice oroweat light bread, 1 tbsp fat free cream cheese, 4 slices turkey breast (all into a 1/2 sandwich)

Lunch: 4 oz ground turkey breast, made into meatballs stuffed with 1 oz fat free feta cheese, 1 small la tortilla factory tortilla baked into chips, 1/2 package Mann's broccoli slaw.

Snack: 1 South Beach Tide Me Over drink mix and 1 light string cheese

Dinner: 1 container Fage Yogurt, 3 oz carrots, 3 oz green beans, 3 oz chicken breast

And thats giving me 100 g protein and 31 grams fiber

your meal plan is really good actually :) my only advice would be to try and incorporate some sweets into it.. if you look at the foods you binged on today, most of them are sugary like the fudge bars, oatmeal, blueberries, cereal, etc. what i would do is leave room for your "treats" that way your sugar level doesn't suddenly drop and cause you to overeat. i always save up some calories for my sweet tooth and it's helped a lot. so give it a try starting tomorrow and see how it goes.. good luck!

Saving some room for the sweet tooth or carb tooth is a great idea.  A couple of other thoughts... I read through your profile and initial post and someone there suggested taking 2-3-4 weeks to get down to your goal cals - that sounds reasonable, and especially since you don't have a lot to lose...change the habits a little bit at a time - baby steps!

And maybe think about when you are prone to binge - are you hungry or craving at a specific time?  Example, I am an early riser and hungry early in the day, but not late in the day - so I have the majority of my calories by early afternoon and eat a very light dinner.  My plan does not look as balanced through the day as yours, but it works for me.   I do save a bit for an evening snack, in case...I happen to like some bagel chips and cottage cheese if I'm hungry after dinner.

I don't every go hungry - I DO try to differentiate between real hunger and craving...if just a craving, I do as others have said, drink some water, a cup of herbal tea, do something outside or physical, anything not food related.  And I try to be sure that I have good choices available.  I am not always successful - but for me it is all about the journey towards that healthy lifestyle and all journeys have their "bumps in the road".

What are your stats?  Height, weight, age, goal weight, calorie goal, exercise?

Many people who cut down their calories too much end up binging at other times.

Don't worry, even people who eat well and balanced have days that they just feel like eating. Sometimes its hormone related- are you around the TOTM? (I don't mean you have to tell me but thats always something to take into account) Yesterday and today I've eaten pretty 'bad'. Yesterday it was key lime pie, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup and today its been pumpkin pie tarts. Sometimes it just happens. Tomorrow is another day.... the important thing is the big picture. One or two days aren't going to kill you.

I can honestly say I havent weighed myself because I'm scared to look at the scale. I will say I am about 5'9" tall and I'll be 19 years old on Tuesday. My calorie goal is around 1200-1300.

Don't feel too bad... I did the same exact thing today.  Yesterday I was great and today I sucked.  I have been trying to eliminate all sweets from my diet and it just isn't working for me.  I crash at about 3pm and binge on sweets for the rest of the night.  I think I am going to try to incorporate something sweet into my early morning snack (fruit is like candy to me so I plan on eating that).  Lately I have been binging on ice cream and i don't even like it that much.  I know that I have been restricting myself too much.  1200 calories a day when you are up for 18 hours a day is way too little.  Try adding some things into your diet at times you are prone to binge or go for a walk instead.  If you need someone to talk to, I'm here and I am def in the same boat;)

Good luck and stay positive!

While I cannot say exactly how much you burn when you do not know your weight I am dead certain that as a girl of 5'9 and nineteen you need a LOT more than 1200-1300 calories, especially if you are active. I think it would be wiser for you to start eating 1800-2000 calories for a while. It may stave off not only your bingeing but starvation mode as well, as a deficit that is too large can result in it even if you are eating above 1200. This, in addition to the fact you are still a teen and still growing. And a female teen should eat 1500 calories a day, minimum.

Do not beat yourself up, though. Go by how you feel in your clothes and your skin and not by the numbers on the scale if they really upset you. But you really do need to be eating more. Your plan actually looks quite balanced - now add calories to it, and remember to treat yourself once in a while. We are better off having a little of something we want than saying we never can, because that is also a mentality that can lead to a binge. Good luck, hun, and if you need more advice and help or feel comfortable to provide your weight for a specific number let me know. :]

Original Post by berriesandyogurt:

I can honestly say I havent weighed myself because I'm scared to look at the scale. I will say I am about 5'9" tall and I'll be 19 years old on Tuesday. My calorie goal is around 1200-1300.

I can tell you for sure that this is not enough calories and is very likely to be contributing to your binging.

At 19, while a young woman, your body phsyiologically is still developing in less than obvious ways and does need more calories.  As a base for calories, 1500 is the recommendation.  Adding your extra height into account and it should go up another few hundred, assuming that weight loss is your goal and that you're within a a weight range where you won't be underweight.  When you exercise, you will need to eat back the calories that you burn.

Thank you so much. I would really like to lose about 10 pounds, which would put me back at the low end of my healthy weight range. I will try upping my calories to 1700 and see how it works. I'll keep you posted.

I'm a bit confused here.  You say that you don't know how much you weigh, but your profile has a weight ticker indicating that you've lost weight.  If you're just going by how you feel you weigh that's really inaccurate.

I know, I stepped on the scale a long time ago and didn't like what I saw. Lately, I've been too scared to check my weight so the ticker pretty much stays the same. I really don't think the weight I've entered before is the same as I weigh now, so I'm confused too. I'm just a mess right now.

Since weight appears to be an issue for you, I suggest something along the lines of get thee to a medical professional.  Basically you don't know what you weigh and you're afraid to find out, so you have no idea if you're overweight or underweight or just perfect.  But you know that you think that you need to lose weight based on a feeling, but when I look at what you say you eat I see a cycle of undereating and then overeating.  A doctor or a nutritionist can help you to determine if your weight is good for you or if you should work on building muscle in addition to reviewing your dietary plan.

What I can tell you is that I think you have some potential signs of disordered eating, you might find this link to be helpful in determining whether to consult a professional or ask your parents for help.  Do I Have An Eating Disorder? 

I have to agree with Sarah above. 

To be healthy, you need to be happy. To be happy you need to LOVE yourself regardless of the weight. 

Weight loss is hard, and if you're into your last 10 lbs before you hit the low end of your healthy weight range you should have every reason to feel strong and confident about yourself right now from a weight perspective. 

No number on the scale is every going to truly make you happy. Give or take 10 lbs is going to happen your whole life though and health will be about moderation your whole life through. It will also be much easier to manage your weight and your health if you are in LOVE with your body and not feeling like you are at war with it, and HATE your decision making and any depriving you are doing to restrict your food. 

If you are using models for motivation keep in mind a very good saying "Never look at beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly". 

Take a look at the olympic athletes, increase your weight training, decrease your cardio focus on building a strong body (and, no, strong does not me bodybuilder). 

Treat yourself with care and love. And, yes, see a doctor about eating disorders. They will kill you and make you a very unhappy person.