I hate being myself.....

This may be a bit random but I don't know where to go. I just hate being myself. I feel like I'm too responsible and sometimes too stress to get my work done. I try to be nice and all but I don't know if I'm a but too manipulating. Being an Asian here, sometimes, people think my culture is weird. Sometimes, I feel that I should respect people and all but American people believe in more freedom. I'm afraid that people would not like me. Sometimes, I feel like I maybe not as mature as my friends are. I'm very confuses. I don't have much friends in America because I have a trust issue - I'm afraid that whatever I said will offend them. At the beginning of my second year in USA, I was very lively and ready to meet new people. But now, I'm afraid that these groups of people will not like me anymore. I have to tell myself that people are not like cloths, I can't just change new set of people whenever I want. I need to face real life and all.

 

Sorry for this may sounds confusing but I'm very frustrate right now. I don't know if there would be any encouragement or do I really mess up?

Hi charming!  Don't be so down on yourself-  just the fact that you worry about how you treat people shows that you are a good and caring person.  It the people who could care less that are the jerks.  If you feel you have offended someone or made a mistake,say something to that person and you might find out you did nothing wrong at all.  Most people are in there own worlds and dont worry nearly as much as you do about the things you say or do.  Just continue to be the best person you can be and if you want to feel better about the person you are being, engage in a ramdom act of KINDNESS, and practice some positve thinking.  There are more people than you know out there that love you!

lbasham62 - 

   Thank you - thank you - thank you very much! It gives me a better feeling seeing the answer. I don't know if what I'm feeling is a kind of depression or not (I hope not) but I don't have anyone else to talk to. I don't have any friends because I don't really know how to act to them (such as will I do something that they did not like or what I did will be appropriate or not). I tried to be more open, but it seems scary. Thank you so much for the reply, though. It makes me feel better!

Awww, I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling like that! I know a lot of people who really do worry that others dislike them and it usually turns out to be all in their head - but it's still really hard to put yourself out there and talk to them anyway because you're still thinking "but what if ..."  And if English is your second language, sometimes that can be an extra barrier.

I really agree with lbasham - a random act of kindess is a great thing.  And sometimes the best way to get into that is to join a volunteer group in your area, you'd meet some new people too.

Don't be so discouraged. You seem like a very sweet girl and I'm sure if you be yourself people will like you. You are young and very active and with a little care you can get back to your goal weight! Just believe you can do it and you will.

Original Post by charming_imy27:

 Being an Asian here, sometimes, people think my culture is weird.

 

 Lot of people think its a good type of weird :)

Hi charming,

Sounds like you may be experiencing a bit of culture shock. There are all sorts in America, some nice, some not-so-nice. Some may think you're culture is weird, but many may be open and curious to learn more about it. It's all a matter of finding the right sorts of people, who you feel are sincere and you are comfortable showing your true self around. I think it's great that you care about being nice and respecting others, but don't be so fearful of offending them that you are afraid to speak your mind! In life, whether you're in America or anywhere else, you won't always please everyone, just do your best to be a decent person and I'm sure you'll meet people who like you for who you are.

Thank you all of you for support! I need to stop thinking too much about what I have done....I should let go of things that has already happen in the past and I can't fix. Hopefully, I can find people that I can relate and have fun with. Just because I don't have much friends here in USA, I don't hang out and I ended up studying so hard...then follow by binge and weight gain   

I have notice a couple of time when I went out with one friend, I actually enjoy the moment and I don't even think about food anymore. So, I need to fix this issue. Thank you so much for all the advice and support!!!  :) 

 

sincerely,

Imy