I hate that people are noticing

Is this weird?

I've lost about 12 pounds since I started counting calories and people who I don't see regularly have begun noticing.

The other day, I went to get my hair cut and my stylist went on for about fifteen minutes about how great I look, how did I do it, etc.

My parents, who comment on my weight every time they see me, went on for an entire weekend.

I'm supposed to be going home in a few days and I'm kind of dreading it. I really don't want my friends, family, neighbors etc talking about how I'm losing weight. I'm not sure why it's embarrassing me so much, but just the thought it causing me anxiety attacks.

I think it might be because if other people notice my weight loss, it confirms that I really was fat before and even though no one ever said anything, they all thought it. When people start commenting, there's no room left for denial. I can't say that I, as my own worst critic, am the only who noticed my flab.

I love everything else about weight loss: feeling better about myself, watching the numbers on the scale go down, my clothes fitting looser, etc, so I'm not stopping any time soon, but I don't know what to do about people noticing.

Seriously, is this weird? I thought I would love people's comments. I used to love it when people told me I was looking thin or hot or whatever when I wasn't trying to lose weight. Why is this so different?

I think it's a little weird but every person is different. I love hearing these comments. Not because I'm full of myself! For me it is confirmation that I'm doing the right thing and it is working. Just when I feel myself thinking " This is never going to work, i'm never going to lose weight" Someone i haven't seen in a while tells me I look like I've lost weight and I'm back full force. You know who you are and what you look like. You shouldn't care what other people think or see, it is what you see. Others giving you compliments should be encouraging and rewarding.

I hate it too! I deny weight loss when people ask. 

Original Post by ilikepork51s:

I hate it too! I deny weight loss when people ask.

SAME!

I tried on a skirt the other day that literally fell off my hips (it was a little big to start with because one size down was wayyyy too short) and my roommate asked if i I'd lost weight. I just shrugged and said "that'd be nice".

Original Post by courtneyes:

I think it's a little weird but every person is different. I love hearing these comments. Not because I'm full of myself! For me it is confirmation that I'm doing the right thing and it is working. Just when I feel myself thinking " This is never going to work, i'm never going to lose weight" Someone i haven't seen in a while tells me I look like I've lost weight and I'm back full force. You know who you are and what you look like. You shouldn't care what other people think or see, it is what you see. Others giving you compliments should be encouraging and rewarding.

I feel like I should love it. I used to!

Now it's like: if they're fixing on 12 pounds, what are they going to say when I lose 40 and get down to my goal? I don't want to be known as the former fat chick :(

It's especially discouraging though, because I don't see anything different. And most people who I see on a daily basis don't either. I almost feel guilty for getting compliments when I can't see a change other than the scale.

alexandrapaige:

Don't worry about being the former fat chick.  PLEASE!  I was average/athletic in HS and then gained the weight after college... I was the former fit chick.  People wouldn't say anything, however they stopped telling me how great I looked (because I didn't look great).  Now that I am getting back in shape, everyone is commenting again, and it feels nice.

The reason they comment is because you look good and most people know how hard it is to lose weight.  There is nothing wrong with needing to lose 40lbs!  I doubt anyone is going to be whispering, "She used to be fat."

In fact most people are pretty impressed when someone loses weight and keeps it off.  It's not easy to do, and everyone knows that.

Good luck on your journey!

I feel the same way when people are telling me that I lost weight, I also tend to minimize the weight loss... It's weird but at first (I lost 42 lbs) it was making me angry that everbody notices (like you, I saw it as a confirmation that I WAS FAT BEFORE) and now people are telling me that I have to stop losing, I'm becoming skinny.... Ahhhhh, my advice: try not to care too much about what other people say (I wish I could use my advice!!!!!) Good luck!

I hate it too, but for different reasons.  It actually de-motivates me!  I start to think, oh, I've done enough now, lets eat some more!  But then I look in the mirror and still don't see what I want and it just causes this big conflict in my head!

I hated it at first too, but then I got over it and started thanking people.  And as for their words busting up your delusions about not being fat.  Well guess what??  It's true.  One of the toughest things I did was come to grips with actually being 650 pounds.  That was who I was, and 350 is what I am now. 

I really believe that a major step in any healthy life program is to accept the condition we are in.  A person cannot plan out how to get healthy if they refuse to accept what condition they are actually in.

So stick to that program, and when someone notices take it in the good way it was meant.  After all it's a sign of success!! 

Keep on Keepin' On!!!

I think this time is different for you because of what you mentioned - you're afraid that people are confirming what you thought of yourself. I know that fear. Definitely. But if you dwell on it too much, it's crippling (as I think you've found out).

Please don't feel guilty about getting those compliments. Weight loss is can be so difficult to motivate yourself towards, and even if you think you don't see a difference there is one.

If you prefer not to talk about it and people keep pestering you, then maybe you could say something like "I appreciate the compliment, but I've never really known how to take them. I'd rather not talk about it." I've used that a couple times before (I hate getting compliments), and while people seem a little surprised they generally respect my space.

If you don't feel that you can talk to people directly about it, then you can deftly try to change the subject. :)

i know what you mean.... it's a lot of attention and it also makes you think "wow did i look that bad before?!"  maybe a simple "thank you very much for noticing, but i feel uncomfortable talking about it too much" would work?  someone noticed teh other day for me and i was THRILLED TO BITS about it... but i could see if someone was going on and on that would make me feel weird about it too.

 

You could always try some small, strategically placed pillows under your clothing XD 

¨LOL!!

Scatter cushions + duct tape!

Original Post by j-snyder:

You could always try some small, strategically placed pillows under your clothing XD

HAH! well, i don't want to look like i gained weight either!

i've heard it said that one reason people gain weight is to 'hide' or 'protect themselves' from unwanted attention... it's food for thought (no pun intended) but maybe that's one reason it was more comfy to be heavier?? only you can answer that but focus on how good YOU feel and don't gain weight just so they'll leave you alone.  eventually you being thin will be the norm and not something for people to comment on. 

congrats on your loss ! :)

i thought i was the only one! I hate when people used to talk about how much weight i lost. because everyone would deny i was fat and told me i was fine. but when i lose a couple of pounds they talk about how great you look...now. its like, so i didnt look good before? but at the same time, when other people notice ive lost weight, i know that i have made progress.

I don't think if people are noticing, that it means they thought you were fat before. 

My SIL has always looked great, and I actually thought if she was the perfect weight.  Well, in the last year she really got herself going at her body, and lost over 20 pounds, and she looks even better now, all toned and skinny!  Of course, she shouldn't lose too much more or she will be too skinny.  

My point is, she looked great before, and she looks even better now.

 

Besides, you are probably not too overweight if people are noticing just 12 pounds that much.  (I didn't read your profile yet.)  I don't think people would even blink if I lost 12 pounds.  (I have 50 to go.)

Original Post by r6riderchick:

The reason they comment is because you look good and most people know how hard it is to lose weight.  There is nothing wrong with needing to lose 40lbs!  I doubt anyone is going to be whispering, "She used to be fat."

In fact most people are pretty impressed when someone loses weight and keeps it off.  It's not easy to do, and everyone knows that.

Good luck on your journey!

 I have to slightly disagree.  I bet people will say, "She used to be fat."  But the next thing will be, "She's worked really hard.  She's got lots of will-power.  She's really motivated.  She's an inspiration to others.... She looks incredible."

They will definitely be impressed.

Congratulations on the weight loss.

I agree, I hate people telling me I've lost weight. It makes me feel like I was fat before. Especially when well-meaning adults say, "Oh, you've grown so pretty now!" I mean, does that mean that I was ugly before when I was fat?

I totally understand what your talking about and what you feel may behind those feelings.  I also agree that it may have to do with the attention.  I get extremly uncomfortable, especially since my loss isn't as great as it could/should be.  So I just turn it around and exclaim on how great I feel since I've made these changes and rub in the fact that I eat chocolate every day !!