Hate talking about it?!

So I know I cant be the only one. Today was the first day that someone noticed I was losing weight, and I just denied that I was trying.

 Is it just me or is this just a conversation most guys DO NOT want to have?

 I mean yes I am trying to lose weight, but I dont really feel like talking about what a fata$$ I was when I started :)

yeah, i agree, its definately not something i want to talk about with anyone.

Usually I say something like "I'm really getting into health and nutrition" or "Well, I started doing yoga." (For you, insert a more manly excuse, if you feel the need. =P)

While both above statements are true, it makes the weight loss seem like a side effect rather than the motivating factor. And therefore more comfortable, for me at least.

It's funny, this actually came up on a mailing list a couple of weeks ago. 

 I absolutely hate having someone comment on my weight loss in public.  I'm very self-conscious about my weight, and when someone comments - even nice comments or encouragement - it just draws attention to it.  It's the quickest way to get me to drop any weight loss plan.  I get so depressed I just have to go out and eat. 

 

Maybe it's just me but when people notice I like to say thanks.....I am glad that other people can see the results of my hard work.....I like the conformation that I am succeding in what I am doing....I look at it as great kudoes! I know I am still fat and have a long way to go...but it still feels good.

I hate people bringing up my weight.  If they notice I've lost weight, does that mean they thought I was fat before?  And does skinny = good?  I don't like that about our society.  Sure, in many cases it's healthier to be thinner but if you're already more or less a healthy weight then it may just be an esthetic thing.  Why is "you've lost weight" considered a compliment?  What if I've been really sick?  I'm pretty mean - if someone superficial tells me I've lost weight as though I'm finally starting to meet their standard of good looks or something I say in a shocked and appalled tone "gosh, I hope not!" (I don't do this to well-meaning elderly aunts or anything.)

I don't mind a quick comment in passing, or even a more private conversation if I'm in the mood to talk about it. But I do have this one 'friend' (frienemy sort of) who as soon as she started losing weight, that's all she wanted to talk about. I never got to compliment her because as soon as she started talking to me she'd start fishing for it. And I'm stubborn, so then I'd ignore it and steer the conversation elsewhere.

But what I'm getting at is yes, I agree with you. I don't want to sit and talk about weight loss and meal plans and exercise with everyone. Maybe when I'm more comfortable with how far I've gotten, but that'll be a few more months still :)

So far, just saying thanks and steering the conversation elsewhere has worked for me. And I'll keep my weight loss chit chat to this board.

I never tell anyone the struggle over every single ounce.  You guys here are the only ones who know.

I just tell pp, I'm health conscious now and into fitness since I finally have free time (unemployed).  Which is true.

I can honestly say eating healthy is #1, but losing is a close second.

When I do talk about nutrition, without sounding like an expert cause I'm not, I'm amazed at how badly ppl whom I know are eating.

I really think it depends on the person who is commenting on it sometimes... and as well as how they say it. It's a very personal topic, and to bring it up in public just isn't right.

I would have to agree that it's probably something guys would rather not talk about. I think "dieting" and "trying to lose weight" is easier for women to admit to because it's almost expected of us (sad)

Instead of admitting to trying to lose weight you could always come back with something fun (and likely to end the weight loss conversation immediately) like "Oh ya? Well my g/f sure has been giving me some good workouts lately ;)"  lol

I don't mind talking about it.  I don't like having totally INTENSE conversation about it with some health nut, but in typical conversation, I don't mind.

I really never thought men would have a problem getting their weight commented on.  I know only a couple guys you are or are trying to lose weight.  I said to one of them "You losing weight?  You look a bit thinner than last time I saw you."  He said, in a very nice tone (then again he is one of the nicest men I know) and said "Well, thanks.  I've been trying to eat better." So, I think he took it well, but then again, even if it did bother him, he wouldn't make a big deal about it.

Now this is interesting!!  I didn't like to talk about it either, but since it's been so much, I can't really deny I'm on a serious weight program.  So I will talk about it most of the time.

The one thing I really hate when folk say it is: "You must feel so much better now!!"  What do you say to a comment like that?? 

And then there are the folk, all overweight, who tell me how I'm doing it all wrong, and if I'd do it another way my program would work soooo much better.  I have to think then why hasn't this great program worked for you. 

But I take it as a compliment any more.  Major weight loss programs are not an easy path to walk, and I am one of the few who has been successful.  So why not let folks hear about it!!!

So I say talk it up.  You should be proud your have the discipline and strength to make a healthy change in the way you live your life.  In this society that isn't an easy thing to do. 

Be Proud, Be Strong!!

I like any reason to talk about myself

I usually just smile or blush when someone says something about me getting smaller. There are a lot of people who just brag so much, and I don't want to be like that.

I lost 130 lbs from 2002 - 2003. It was impossible to not get comments from people as they could see me change sizes right in front of their eyes. Most heavy people that made comments were of the jealous type. I got a lot of advice not to lose too much and that I shouldn't get too thin. I was still a little over 200 when I got a lot of those comments. I learned to ignore that stuff.

It was funny, most people assumed I was taking something. They were shocked when I told them I was eating a diet high in fruit and veggies, low in fat, no fast food, etc. They wanted to hear about the "magic" formula. They didn't want to hear that I had to make good choices and limit my calories.

I'm at the point now that some people have noticed I've lost a little. I'm sure I'll have to go through the whole thing again. Just ignore most of their comments.

And yes, if someone mentions to you that you look like you've lost weight or that you look much thinner, they thought you were fatter before. And the truth is that you were.

As for the "you must feel much better now" comments, isn't it true that you feel better being thinner. I know I did. I already do feel better and I've only lost 8 lbs so far. It's easier to move when you're thinner, you can pick things up off the floor easier, you can cross your legs easier, you have more engergy.

Mostly, ignore the jealous and watch out for family and friends who try to convince you that they're worried about your health and that you don't look as healthy thin. They are jealous and threatened by the new you and they have to adjust to the new you. Don't take it personally.

Original Post by elizaannfred:

I like any reason to talk about myself

haha. i love it!  me too! :)

i think not wanting to talk about it reflects fear of failure (or maybe fear of success).  if nobody knows you're trying to lose weight, then nobody will know if you don't pull it off. 

i think this is a dangerous thing.  in a way, it gives you permission to fail.  i think the best thing is to be as public about it as possible.  it makes you accountable, but it also allows you to claim and celebrate your successes!

Original Post by demila1983:

I don't mind talking about it. I don't like having totally INTENSE conversation about it with some health nut, but in typical conversation, I don't mind.

I really never thought men would have a problem getting their weight commented on.

I don't mind talking about it either.  In fact, sometimes if I start talking with other people I know who are trying to get in better shape, I sometimes feel like I've turned into my uncle, who was a recovering alcoholic in AA and who didn't talk about anything else.  Personally, I find it very motivating to have people give me unsolicited comments that they can see a change in me.  I've worked hard to lose the weight I have and knowing that it is yielding results keeps me going.

I don't understand the mindset that takes a compliment and makes people think, "So what...did you think I was fat before?"  I KNOW I was fat before...that's why I started dieting in the first place.  I'm still fatter than I want to be now.  I guess I just don't care if people thought I was fat.  I just like the comments because they let me know that what I am doing is working. 

Worrying about what other people think takes too much energy and just gives you stress.  The only opinion of yourself that should matter is your own. 

Original Post by pgeorgian:

i think not wanting to talk about it reflects fear of failure (or maybe fear of success).  if nobody knows you're trying to lose weight, then nobody will know if you don't pull it off. 

i think this is a dangerous thing.  in a way, it gives you permission to fail.  i think the best thing is to be as public about it as possible.  it makes you accountable, but it also allows you to claim and celebrate your successes!

 

That is probably true in my case. At first I was hesitant to speak about it because I am a private person but I think the fear of failure played a part as well.  But now when people bring it up I own it and I proudly tell them what I am doing.  I know that I have had quite a few sign up for CC because of it.

Besides C-C friends and forum members only my best friend knows anything about my eatting habbits, working out habbits, self estem and anything else related to my body.

I agree; I hate talking about it. My best friend is my everything, so I know she will always be honest with me and if I do something stupid she will always offer me a slap upside the head. She wants the best for me, 100% healthy, and I can say she is the only person I know {in real life} who holds absolutly no judgement or any precieved views on how I should be. She accepts everything I do, bad or good; she tries to prevent the bad though :P And I love her like crazy.

Everyone else can suck it...lol. I don't feel like anyones comments are geniune or honest. Not even my parents, as sad as that is. :)

I'm kinda funny about it...

Like, I'm really proud of my weight loss, and want people to know... so I tell people, or I put it on my facebook page...  But I don't want to talk about it, for the most part.  Like if someone asks me privately how I'm doing it, I tell them my diet & exercise plan, etc... if someone just says "you look like you've lost some weight - looks good", I say thank you... but if they harp on it and start drawing me into a whole conversation in front of other people, I get REALLY embarrassed.  Like yesterday, in front of like 8 of my coworkers, my boss was like "so how much have you lost so far?"... I was MORTIFIED!

I think pgeorgian is right on the money. I know that I started doing a lot better once I opened up to a few people about what I was doing, especially my boyfriend - I wouldn't have been able to get to this point without his support. And my hesitancy at first was fear that I wouldn't succeed (and I didn't want to confess my starting weight).

Now I'm open about it if people ask, but I don't bring it up to people that don't know about it, except maybe some close friends. And now it's just something I do - I eat a little healthier and a little less than I used to, and I exercise more. It isn't a diet, it's my life, and I'm not ashamed of that.