Health going downhill-determined to make a turnaround

I had an appointment with a physician yesterday and went from being concerned and frustrated with my health to terrified.  I now feel like and invalid, a disaster waiting to happen.  I know an online forum can’t solve my problems, but I’m hoping I can find support and advice as I go through the process of trying to sort this out and fix it.

A brief history, I have been a pretty serious athlete all my life and seemed to be pretty healthy.  I’ve always been “too skinny” but it was always just laughed at and joked about my “fast metabolism.”  Since college though I’ve started having a lot of digestion problems.  I won’t go into detail there, but they progressively got worse. I also got interested in nutrition, and started making my own meal plans and calorie goals, trying to digest better, fuel my performance, and also gain weight.  I gained some weight, improved my performance, but felt progressively worse.  I also started dealing with a lot of injuries.  My dr. proposed a bone density scan, which revealed the beginnings of osteopenia—likely due to the absence of menstruation.

Since I graduated things have only gotten worse, although it didn’t really feel like it at first.  Actually, my training got better. I ran some great races last spring and progressed to train successfully at a high level this summer.  Then old injuries came back to haunt me.  And I started running slower and slower for no good reason.  I went back to my physician who ordered blood tests that showed I was severely anemic and have a low white blood cell count. 

I also started seeing gastroenterology because the problems I was having in my gut got worse, making it challenging to eat and also embarrassing me when I try to live a normal life.

I hadn’t really found any solutions from them, though.  They tell me there is a problem but not how to fix it.  The gastro Dr. told me to take mirilax which made everything worse.  I semi-recovered from my injuries only to have up and down training—great one day, feeling breakable the next.  Overall I feel like a physical mess.

So back at my followup today my physician wasn’t much help, but she did scare me.  She said she is honestly afraid for my life.  She said my organs and heart are at risk as well.  Then I went to work and had my boss talk to me and ask me if I had an eating disorder.  I just answered with what I know—which is that I don’t know, but if I do then I want to get better because I want my health back so bad.  Whatever’s going on I need to get it taken care of, but I feel like I’m helpless.  I have people telling me I’m underweight, anemic, and losing my bones, but don’t know how to fix it.  I hate being sick. I hate not running.  I miss my team, my running, and I’m scared I’ll never get it back. Plus I’d just love to have a body that works, not be freezing all the time, have better and more prolonged concentration, and not be so self conscious and embarrassed for my scrawniness!

Now I’m terrified.  I weighed myself this morning and am the lowest I’ve been this year. My doctors haven’t told me to stop training altogether, but I did.  I feel okay but I don’t want to find out the hard way that I’m not. 

I’m trying to make my training plan right now a nutritional therapy plan, the only thing I can think of to fix me.

I set weight quotas where I can start some Pilates and toning, easy cardio, and eventually a more restricted running plan when I reach my first target weight range.

I made a daily calorie goal of 3000, because that’s about what I was averaging with 2 hour practices every day.  I’m hoping without the physical training this intake will make me gain weight and hopefully heal me too.

I’m also making a strict meal plan with amounts I have to eat during the day.  In the past I prefer to just eat as I go and make sure I meet my calorie goal before bed.  But right now I think I need to make sure I’m getting a steady intake rather than starving when my stomach is acting out then binging to make up  for it.  I know that just messes me up more.

I know this isn’t a medical board, but do you know if there is an expert here who can tell me if my plan looks good?  The site told me to eat 1600 calories but I know I would be starving on that amount, which seems ridiculous when I need to gain.

I know this is a really weird scenario and I don’t expect anyone to have experience or a magic fix, but just in case anyone knows anything about such things:

What do you think of my plan?  Am I doing the right things?  Is there anything I should be doing differently?

I apologize if this comes across as a debbie-downer post. I am not trying to whine and be oh-so-sorry for myself.  Rather, I am determined to fix it.  Even if no one has a clue what I can do here, just a place to check in with my journey is maybe what I need to help me sort it out and make the turnaround I am determined to achieve.

Thank you to anyone who simply took the time to read this all. 

Tears, you sound JUST like me!

I was an undiagnosed celiac, and lost 25 pounds because of it. Went from an active, amazing figure skater who practiced 24 (sometime more) hours a week, to fighting to stay alive.

Entrolab is a test I would highly recommend, they test for gluten intolerance as well as celiac. You DON'T have to be a celiac to have problems with gluten! Note that many doctors won't accept entrolab's results as a diagnosis, but the concept of the test makes a lot of sense.

I'm no longer skating, but am active in duathalons, triathlons, running and swimming (cycling is a bit difficult to get into with race...). 

Can I ask how tall you are?

Wow you do sound a LOT like me! I didn't lose a bunch of weight, but went from being the "skinny kid" to the "anorexic/bulemic looking teen" to this mess.  Not much has changed weight wise, but it's catching up with me, combined with the malnourishment despite the fact that I have been eating 3-5000 calories since I first started counting and actively trying to gain in college! And the digestion stuff also went from bad to unfunctionable and chronic this year.

And like you I was just fine running, but always wondered what I could do at a lean athletic weight vs. bony.  But now i'm worried about just getting my body so that going to practice isn't a risk on something permanent happening to my organs/bones!  But to go from Olympic hopes an elite training to this invalid life is in all honesty traumatic [mentally] even though I know there are many worse things that people have to go through.  The bottom line is I want to make sure i DO "go through" this and turn things around, not end this way.

I know something's going on, I just have to apply my famous gameplans to figuring out what and taking care of it...

p.s. I would love to hear more of your recovery story [so far!]--I know mine has to pertain to me individually, but it would still be great to hear from someone with such a similar experience/situation who's a few steps ahead of me!

Also:

To everyone who keeps telling me to talk about specific testing--I meant to say this in the first place because that's part of the reason I'm so desperate to find how to sort this out with my diet, but I can't see a Dr.  I graduated and lose my parents insurance now.  I literally can't afford anything else, so I'm on hold with any medical treatment that might actually help [I have to admit they didn't do anything so far] until I get a fulltime job to give me that option and for funds to pay for it.  I had those few appt's this fall that got me nowhere except to tell me I'm headed for disaster. :(

In that case, I'd do some research on gluten-free diets and at least try it for a while and see how you feel. It can't hurt.

Here are some links:

• Gluten free diet
• How to go gluten free
• Celiac.com

Tears: I wasn't close to olympics with my figure skating (it's a really competitive field). But I was strong, it was really cool being able to beat the guys in chin-up/push-up contests at school. We did strength training at least an hour a day during practice (it was hard core too, like I said, chin-ups, push-ups, legs lifts, hollow holds....)

When I started feeling sick with celiac (when it started to show), from natural insticts, I quit eating. I figured food=sick, so to stop feeling sick, stop eating.... This worked until I started losing weight... and then I was a sick underweight person that had to quit skating. It just downspiraled from there until I hit 80 lbs and was diagnosed.

Many times I found myself crying infront of a mirror, pulling at my shell of a body... so sad that I had lost everything I worked for.

I was able to gain on an 1800-1900 calorie diet, but don't think I'm fully recovered yet since I have no period... and I'm cold all the time... I think I'm in some weird starvation mode. I'm seeing a nutritionist soon about it though...

As for athletic performance, I'm able to maintain an roughly 8 minute mile (little more than 8 min miles) 5k (roughly 25 minutes).

edit: Swimming is about a 1:45 per 100 meters open water, it's about a 1:15 per 100 yards in a pool...

Cycling is about a 17 mph pace when it's under 14 miles and it's the ONLY event I'm racing in.

During triathlons, I usually maintain the same swim pace, a 16 mph cycle and 9 min mile 5k. Duathlons are 9 min mile runs, and 15 mph cycles.

So, IMOP, I'm doing pretty well for someone still in high school, but to think if I gained to 98+ I'd be even faster.

If you can't see a doctor, or get tests done for celiac... I'd cut gluten out of your diet. It's perfectly possible to maintain a healthy, well-balanced diet without gluten... brown rice is gf and perfectly healthy, as is quinoa (replacement for oatmeal), and potatoes are also good carb forms, many gf breads are very yummy and contain 130+ cals per slice.... For portable meals, Amy's makes tasty ones, and Glutino makes good ones as well. Nut-thins make execelllent cracker choices.

Once gluten was cut out my diet, I didn't have the awful stomach aches (and rashes) I had developed. I temperorarily had to cut out dairy (had something to do with my gut healing), but I can tolerate most dairy now (just not plain, straight milk or any type... I can do yogurt, cheese, and ice cream though) 

Links/places for info:

glutenfreeforum.com 

celiac.com