Is this healthy? please tell me...

... im just about recovered from anorexia, and just to kill those ED thoughts i wanted to prove something to myself tonight. I baked cookies (previously thinking ill just eat, maybe one and leave the rest for my family) and ate a ton of them, along with some other food i find myself still restricting on.

I rarely indulge, so i thought, "why? that is HEALTHY NORMAL human behaviour." So tonight i went for it and ate 1000 calories over my maintenance because i felt like it. Agh, i dont know whether or not to regret my descision, but its something i still find is hanging onto me. I want to just eliminate all ED thoughts and actions. 

Im also proud of myself because i never indulge and wanted to keep going eating the entire kitchen (like i did when i started recovery- binge/restrict cycle you know- ive broken that finally!) but when i got full, i stopped. And im not going to restrict tomorrow. 

Am i on the right path to healthy thinking/eating and a full recovery? 

Im sure trying! :-)

Yes you are!!! Normal people just listen to their body's cues, and if they want 6 cookies, then they eat them and move on! I am starting to notice that everything I once thought was a "binge" is actually just normal eating.

Hang in there!!

Aw yess thank you! I love it how every time i feel ED is coming over me again after moving so far along, i can always come to this site and have support. Thank you so much. :-)

I'm pretty normal and I will definitely eat a few cookies if I went through the trouble to bake them. Not an entire batch, but certainly five or six. ;-)

And 1000 calories over on occasion and because you feel like it is also normal behavior. Now, every day, not so good, but you have to live life and enjoy yourself too without thinking about calories every second of the day! I applaud your overeating, haha. But I especially applaud your ability to stop when you're full. (I have trouble with that.)

Don't restrict tomorrow like you said, and you are definitely on the path to full recovery.

Congrats! =)

Uhm - how is that on the road to recovery?


No normal people that I know would want to eat that many cookies.  Most people get sick at about 500.

What the heck?  Eating 1000 calories in cookies is a lack or self control.  EDs come from overly controlling yourself, so flinging yourself to the complete opposite end of the spectrum doesn't make you better.

Do not listen to oxy, that is totally messed up eating disordered thinking. Take it from me - when your body is coming out of that starvation mode, you get bouts where for some odd reason you get RAVENOUSLY HUNGRY. I was like that too!! Doing it every now and then is really typical for recovering anorexics - think about it, your body is so used to "starve starve starve" and all of a sudden you start eating normally! Your body doesn't know what to think!

It will adapt and adjust, but it takes some time. Let yourself get to a healthy bmi of like 21, and these bouts should lessen (I know they can be scary sometimes). Just eat and let the food sort it out inside; trust that things will stabilize.

:)

yea, i thought i misread what OXY HAD WRITTEN, OFCPURSE PPL OCCASIONALLY GO ALL OUT AND EAT woops-didnt mean caps-so ofcourse "normal" ppl go all out and will occasionally eat a huge amount of whatever, its not daily and its totally fine, not a binge, not an ED thing, just ok and fine!  dont worry

hey girl no its fine..... my mum likes to about once a week after friday night of hard work..... there is nothing wrong with it ..........

eds strive to be perfect......what you did in eds eyes wasnt.........= not a ed behaviour ...good on you!

No kidding. I totally disagree with oxy as well. What i did was a concious descision, not a lack of self control. I asked myself if i wanted to eat cookies and so, i did.

And its simple. Eat what you want when you are hungry, and stop when you are full.

Which is exactly what i did.

I have decided that makes me a strong person who is serious about recovery.

Thanks to everyone else! <3

Original Post by liveyourlife101:

And its simple. Eat what you want when you are hungry, and stop when you are full.

Very hard when you are trying to gain weight. It's like "wait until you're full, and then add 1 more thing". So frustrating! Especially when it needs to be dense wholesome things...I was so excited when I finally just got to have an apple. I was like "Yay! Now I won't get scurvy! haha!"

often ppl recovering from EDs need to eat mechanically, according to a schedule and cant wait for hunger cues bc often they are not finctioning rt.  after recovery then you can return to listening to your bdy, but not now.

I would be very proud of myself if I could do that. So, you should definetely be! I eat to an 'unwritten' schedule. Breakfast is usually at 7, lunch is at 12.30/1pm and dinner is around 5.30. If I could break that pattern, eat something delicious like cookies and stop when I was full - I would see that as some sort of breakthrough for me. You have did so well. Im happy for you, keep it up!

Thanks :-)

Yeah i eat at regular times even when im not hungry i still make sure i eat at 8am, 10.30, 12.30., 4.00, and 6.00. But i was hungry at 9pm so i ate... and did it again last night! 700 cals over my usual but hey there was cake in the house! 

And i loved every last bit of it. :-)

LIVEYOURLIFE-hi hun, from wht i remember youre maintaining but was having some difficulty figuring it out, rt?  i hope youre doing well but could it be you still need to gain a bit? what are your stats if i may ask?

take care!

Yeah im moving onto maintenance calories but i still choose sometimes to eat more when i feel like it because i find it helps me mentally get rid of everything ED. :-)

Im 5'10, 129 lbs from 112. :-)

really, dont even think twice about it, its A-ok what you did! lol  im just thinking that maybe your "happy weight" may be a bit higher, altho congrats on your recovery, and that maybe your body is looking for some more food?  what are you maintaining on? take care

Hi!

I'm a little taller than you, 5'11, but my doc told me that the LOWEST healthiest weight for me, giving me a bmi of 18.5 is 62kg, which I think is 136lb, so maybe agru's right, your happy weight might be a bit higher!  total congrats on getting to where you are though, it sounds like you're really a lot happier as well?  And no worries about the cookies, and well done for making sure you always eat, I have to do that too, but my schedule's  a little different: 9, 11 30, 2, 5, 8, 9.30 and 11!  What are you maintaining on, do you still have to keep cals high?

way to go!

edit: double post.....ooops

Thanks argu, and i agree about the 'happy weight' maybe i get little cravings because my body still is in search for those little extra calories :-) im definately welcoming those couple pounds with open arms if my body wants them! 

I think im maintaining on around 1800, but im fairly active so im sure i could eat 2100 and not gain at all. :-)

Theofournay: agreed! and im so much better... in a way, im happy that an ED came into my life because i proved to myself i can overcome something huge. That in the end made me a stronger, happier person. 

Thanks to you all for the replies!

hi

so im glad you think gaining might be good since you still underweight, not healthy, not living your best life possible!

i think you should considar gaining som weight so that you are at a bmi of about 20-AT LEAST, maybe more for health and a better chance of avpiding relapse, especially with being so active!

good luck