It's not healthy, but it seems that the only time I feel attractive is when I'm hungry...

I really don't want to head down the ED route, and the fact that I feel like this is a little scary... I only ever feel confident and happy with myself, anytime I feel full I instantly feel ugly and a failure, even if I only ate 300 cals. I did the 'Do you have an Eating Disorder' quiz and I scored poorly. I don't think I have an ED, but I'm a little afraid it is where I will end up. I seem to be constantly obsessing about my weight and even though I know it wouldn't be healthy, I fantasize about seeing the number '90lbs' on the scale.

Any ideas to help me stop thinking these thoughts???

I recently reached my goal weight, but I'm still not happy and I'm scared I never will be. I really want to be skinny, but I also don't want to jeprodise my health.

 

• Contact a counselor through your school
• Find and join a support group
• Research what your actual healthy weight range is for your height and age
• Stop using the scale
• Start eating little snacks throughout the day instead of larger meals
• Change your focus on food from how many calories to how to get a balance of nutrition
• Get more hobbies that keep you too busy to obsess over your weight

 

Talk it out with a professional 1-800-999-9999 (the nineline). It is free and 24-7 and can be anonymous.

I know how it is to obsess over weight.  Remind yourself that having an eating disorder is a SERIOUS ordeal.  It is okay to care about your appearance and want to be skinnier, BUT health is far more important.   If you get an eating disorder your hair is going to fall out, your skin is going to look disgusting, your more likely to develop illnesses and you will probably die at an earlier age.  Honestly I would do more reading about eating disorders and face the real facts.   

Also, you look great! It looks like you have come a long way.  Congratulations on reaching your goal weight.  Your gallery "after" picture, and the picture of the abs you dream about, are not far from reality.  Seriously, you are already thin and have done awesome! Thanks for the motivation!  

EAT and EAT HEALTHY.  If you EVER see 90lbs on the scale, you will be super unhealthy.

For the time being I think you should definitely talk to someone who has professional advice.  It is really easy to fall into a whirlpool of obsessive thoughts. I think you should  do other things to keep busy (e.g. go out, read, go to the movies).  You should be eating until you have had a complete nutritionally appropriate meal.  Zoom out and really think about what you are wishing for.