"The Heart Attack Diet" ... Wtf?

I found this and i think its realy insane...

 

The Heart Attack Diet

 

If you want to gain weight as soon as possible Keep Reading!

 

This diet is very simple and straight forward, but if you want to succeed you have to strictly stick with it step by step.

First of all you have to change your mentality, the word "Eat" will not mean anything for you - the only word you know now is "Binge".

No water allowed, just sugar-packed drinks if you are thirsty.

Always have a snack between foods. Have food besides your bed. Eat before sleeping and after waking up. Every time you see food EAT IT hungry or not - NOT if it is healthy in any way.

Fry or batter anything you are going to eat.

Another thing you have to forget about is the "Guideline Daily Amount" crap as you wont really follow it; this is what you are aiming for:

 

• Extremely low levels of protein - To maximize muscle loss.
• Large amount of Carbohydrates- To increase Insulin levels in blood to maximize fat storage (Most sugar possible).
• High levels of fat, and most of it trans fats - Pretty straight forward; this is the most important thing if you want to achieve!

 

 

 

The diet consists in:

 

**Snacks consist in a lot of sugar to keep fat storage to a maximum - trans fats are always welcomed.

 

1.  Breakfast - (One of the four most important meals of the day - The other three are brunch, lunch and dinner): In this meal you will have to binge the greatest amount of carbohydrates in the day to increase insulin for maximum fat storage and for the body to use as energy instead of using the precious fat! You will have to concentrate on very high caloric foods with a lot of sugar such as Honey, Candies, Caramels, Syrups, Sugar - of course - and any other sugary product you could think of.
2. Snack - Battered whole meal bars such as power bars, snickers and twix.
3. Brunch - Loads of slices of fried Bacon and fried chips, all in mayonnaise and fried again topped with mayonnaise. Snack - 2 Jars of nutella or any other chocolate spread Lunch - All the doughnuts and cakes you can stuff in your mouth
4. Snack - Chips and more chips! Pre-dinner - You warm up for dinner with a light meal; just eat just some packs of cookies - DONT FORGET TO BATTER THEM!
5. Dinner - (This has to be your biggest Meal) Fill the table with everything in the list from the day (whatever you ate) and do your best!

 

 

 

 

Remember: TRANS FATS = WIN!

Don't forget to do the less movement (Dont even mention the word "Exercise") possible as you want to conserve the most ammount of calories possible. If you have troubbles with this get world of warcraft, and if you are ****ing poor just play ****ing maplestory.

This links will help you a lot:

 

• http://www.dietaryfiberfood.com/sugar-high-co ntent.php
• http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/page/3
• http://www.acaloriecounter.com/fast-food-calo ries.php
• http://www.thatsfit.com/photos/the-top-5-high est-calorie-fast-food-items/544550/

 

 

Srsly... wtf o.0?

I think they're being facetious...or trying some "reverse psychology".

Original Post by skookum:

I think they're being facetious...or trying some "reverse psychology".

Haha well i hope people realize that :L

umm...isn't this just really obviously sarcastic?

Did you find this article in The Onion?

It's actually a faithful transcript of a Glaswegian Home Ec lesson 

the worst website regarding food i have ever encountered is a website called bigguts . i was almost sick whilst viewing the forum ......... most disgusting website ever

Original Post by kapo:

the worst website regarding food i have ever encountered is a website called bigguts . i was almost sick whilst viewing the forum ......... most disgusting website ever

O yea... that crap... that website is pretty insane :S. haha

eww. that is pretty gross. I think I felt an artery clog while reading about the mayo. lol

Ha - this reminds me of one of my favorite websites, thisiswhyyourefat.com

Original Post by theholla:

Ha - this reminds me of one of my favorite websites, thisiswhyyourefat.com

Haha actually you can see that website at the bottom of the diet thiny :L

I'm amazed when people don't realize something is a joke and NOT to be taken seriously. 

Original Post by spoiled_candy:

Did you find this article in The Onion?

Lol! That was precisely my thought. :)