Heartbreak and Flatmate Romances

Last week was good. Lots of LOST marathons with Oli, and we went to wet and wild with our friends, but he stayed with me most of the day, and we had lots of tea and went on all the douple-ring waterslides and big nasty drop slides together. We were being nerdy and trying to max the speed by centering our weight, minimizing air resistance and letting faaaar too much water build up behind us, so much so that once we flipped the ring and landed face first on top of each other in the middle of a tube. Ahhhh! Minimal damage though which is quite surprising. It was terrifying!

Then on friday nigt we had a flat poker night (i cleaned the boys out!). The others went down to the pub so it was just us. In our inebriated state we ended up talking, and he said i was one of his best friends, he got on better with me than anyone, and we kissed. He told me he loved me and didnt know why hed waited so long to do this.

I didnt know what to do with my self it was unbeleivable. As I was quite drunk i ended up topless in his bed, which is quite outof character as i would rather take things slow, but like i said, i was drunk, and i couldnt beleive my luck.

Nothing really happened. It meant a lot to me though hes only the second guy ive kissed, and i am totally in love (despite the fact i have tried soooo hard not to be).

We snuggled up and watched LOST the next day. It was lovely.

The warning sign should have been that we didnt tell anyone though. It wasnt just him it was both of us. I dont know how he was thinking, but i was just a bit terrified, and didnt want to say anything incase he didnt want me too. I was so nervous around him. It was really awkward but it was what i wanted and i was hoping time would sort it.

Yesterday was his Birthday. Sooo drunk again (i dont normally drink this often, honest). I tried to hold his hand in the bar, but he took me aside saying we needed to talk.

He said he couldnt do this, cos the atraction only came from one side, and he was sorry he led me on. that he didnt mean to hurt me.

Devastated.

I left, but Simon followed me to the flat to try and make me feel better. He said that he did think Oli really likes me, just that hed wimped out cos hed never really been in that situation before. I dont know what to think. Is it just giving me false hope? I should be trying to get over him, surely. Even though I dont really want to.

I may have buggered things even further cos I decided to write him a letter this morning, apologising for messing up his bday (although i think i was being lovely really), and asking if he thought this could ever happen. That i tried not to fall for him, but couldnt help myself. That I think we could work, but I'm happy to just be his friend if thats what he wants.

I posted it under his door at 11am. its now 2 and i havent heard back, although he was up till after 4 last night. Think I heard him moving around though.

I'm at a loss, I just don't know what to do. Any thoughts?

so he emailed me. i got my answer. he just wants to be friends.

I feel like giving up, on everyone and everything, but im going to try and battle through. I want a cup of coffee but i think hes in the kitchen. i might just go in anyway. see how it is.

Confusing times.

Here is my opinion:

Sorry love, I would say give him complete space.

Sounds like maybe he was thinking with his privates when you two were drunk. Even if he wasn't, even if he just chickened out as your other friend sugguested I would stay away. He must not be in a good place to start a relationship right now and if it carried on you would just end up getting even more hurt than your currently feeling.

It might be akward for a while, so if you can't carry on like normal just stay clear until your feeling a bit stronger. Don't break down in front of him and don't send him any emails, letters or any of that. After you have gained complete control of your emotions and you feel like confronting him, I'd say go for it. But not now. You won't be able to be as logical right now.

hope this helps. Sorry if it's not what you were hoping for.

listen it's really really easy for women to take advice from other women, but they are usually wrong. 

believe me when i tell you....he wanted to have sex with you and that's it.  I'm not one for beating around the bush.  That's the bottom line. 

most of the time women can't read men just as most men can't read women...so let me break it down for you.  He seems like a nice guy, because he had you half naked, and didn't pursue the situation even though that's what he was out for.  He actually told you that he didn't want anything with you...most guys would have kept you lingering around until they did have sex with you and THEN they would have left you.  NOW!!!...here is how you can tell he really doesn't want to be with you.  HE TOOK TIME OUT FROM HIS BIRTHDAY TO TALK TO YOU AND TELL YOU BAD NEWS WHEN HE KNEW YOU TWO WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. this means he doesn't want you two seen in public on a regular basis or that he had other plans that NIGHT and you were not included. 

Men can be extremely harsh and mean.  I really just want to be straight foreward with you boo boo, because I don't want your feels hurt more than htey already are.  he is a dead end...I would move on without regrets.  you did the ABSOLUTE right thing by not getting intimate with him.  you're cute...you can always find a guy....trust me on this one....

sorry for the harsh reality, but i believe in truth...and it hurts sometimes.

Potter

No thaks for that. Its much more helpful than my flatmates, whove been telling me he just wimped out and giving me false hope. I want to get over him and move on so its what i wanted and needed to hear really.

I think being a bit confused and having some self esteem issues at the minute probably just made me mistake a good friendship for something more

Original Post by malomadame:

No thaks for that. Its much more helpful than my flatmates, whove been telling me he just wimped out and giving me false hope. I want to get over him and move on so its what i wanted and needed to hear really.

I think being a bit confused and having some self esteem issues at the minute probably just made me mistake a good friendship for something more

 ahhhhh.... don't harp on it too much...it has happened to all of us...I've had my heart broken many times, and eachtime...I just brushed my shoulders off even though it was hard to do, and sometimes you would be surprised to see how fast some people come crawling back.  just keep it together....like I said you look great....I see no problem with you getting a good guy in the near future.