My hell.

I feel like i have 2 sides to my personality. One side wants me to loose weight and be healthy so im around for my kids and so i can feel a lot better. The other side however fights against this motivation to sit and be lazy and eat alot. I feel like i can't win. Does anyone else go through this? It's not just for food/weight either. It's my whole life.

i know what you mean.  i am so going through the same thing.

i know losing wieght is the right thing to do - i NEED to do it, for my future, for my family...but for some reason i have trouble getting anywhere.  people say you have to want it - and trust me, i do want it....but i can't get the other side of me going...i always get side tracked...

so...unfortunately, i don't have any answers or a solution to make things better - i just know how you feel. 

 

Thanks for replying. I just feel like sometimes it's some sort of depression and that maybe i should go to the head doctor.

ya'll are definitely not alone -- I think we all go through it, it's just determining which side we'll let take control.  Decision-making is one of the hardest things anyone every does, regardless of how fast the decision is made -- there is always the possibility the wrong choice was selected.

Sometimes it helps to do a pro/con list for you to visually see the benefits of making the decision to have a healthy lifestyle, or to change jobs, or having kids, getting/staying married, etc.  In the end you still have to make the decision but it will be a well-thought out decision, and defendable.  (if you come up with a defendable reason for sitting around, doing nothing, and eating a lot -- please pass it on )

Yea like coach said.

 

Also a kinda cool thing I do is I push all the lazy stuff till the end of the day "ill eat all that candy later as soon as i ...."

kinda like this guy who hates to eat but loves to drink alcohol. He puts a piece of bread infront of him and pours up a glas of alcohol on the table and says to himself " as soon as i finish this sandwich I will drink that glas"Once he finishes the sandwich and is full he easily pours the alcohol back into the bottle "hah! fooled you again old man :)" 

Usually at the end of the day you feel so proud of all you accomplished and you perhaps may even have time left over and calories left some of the bad stuff you wanna eat.

Good luck and I hope the two sides of you will be able to come to a good compromise  

I think everyone can relate to this. I have the fantasy of joining a gym, being happy go lucky, wearing a size 7-8 weighing about 145...but....

BUT- I have lazy phenomia!!I want to get home from work, sit on the couch and watch my programs eat dinner and go to bed-ROUTINE-every day!!!

but u have to make a choice. Once ur into it, it gets easier, but I swear if u take more than a two day break....u will be back to ur old ways...ur mind will keep telling u, "oh not today maybe tomorrow" DON"T listen!

 I exercise for the first time since for ever last night and it felt good, but I feel like if I don't go home and do the same thing I did lastnight, then Im just gonna keep putting it off.

WE need more motivation, inspiration, goals, energy.( I have this georgous pic of BeYonce-I'm not a big fan of hers but this picture is totally amazing her body is sculpted to perfection.....so I kinda put that in the back of my head or nearby and say "if u eat that cheesburger, u will not be sculpted! (then I picture Rossie O Donald)) sometimes it works. lol

I think everyone can relate to this. I have the fantasy of joining a gym, being happy go lucky, wearing a size 7-8 weighing about 145...but....

BUT- I have lazy phenomia!!I want to get home from work, sit on the couch and watch my programs eat dinner and go to bed-ROUTINE-every day!!!

but u have to make a choice. Once ur into it, it gets easier, but I swear if u take more than a two day break....u will be back to ur old ways...ur mind will keep telling u, "oh not today maybe tomorrow" DON"T listen!

 I exercise for the first time since for ever last night and it felt good, but I feel like if I don't go home and do the same thing I did lastnight, then Im just gonna keep putting it off.

WE need more motivation, inspiration, goals, energy.( I have this georgous pic of BeYonce-I'm not a big fan of hers but this picture is totally amazing her body is sculpted to perfection.....so I kinda put that in the back of my head or nearby and say "if u eat that cheesburger, u will not be sculpted! (then I picture Rossie O Donald)) sometimes it works. lol

You just need to get a little momentum going.  If you can just hang on long enough to see some progress there will be no stopping you!  We all have lazy days so quit beating yourself up about it.  And I'm sure there's nothing wrong with your head.  You are human, just like the rest of us!

But how do you get the good parts to win. The lazy side always seems to be strong with the dark side of the force. ;)

neither side wins all the time but which do you want more?

there's some really good points on here.  i guess everyone feels like this sometimes...but the hard part is making the "other" decision - that is to get up and exercise, or go to the grocery store so you can make a healthy lunch - that is the trouble i have...sometimes it force of habit, to just come home and do what i always do - that's why i like the story of the guy and the wine.

radink, i think if you're feeling depressed it might help to talk to someone...but if not, hopefully the support of people you meet here can help keep you motivated and get you on track - sometimes just having people who are going through their own challenges can be a big help too!

too bad, there is no easy button for life...unlike those annoying staples commercials...LOL 

I think there are so many stressors in our lives that as a defense mechanism we just want to pull the covers over our heads and make the world go away and just veg out and do nothing. Maybe if we can actually schedule free time into our schedules and make it a goal or a reward instead of an escape, we will still get the other things done that we need to. I've often said that if I ran my home life like a business, I wouldn't be looking at a messy house on those " lazy don't want to do anything but watch the tube days". Now to just practice what I preach! I find myself being lazy, too and I really am not depressed, just lazy at times.

Whoever "They" are say it takes 2 weeks to form a habit.  Whether it's exercise or whatever, that's supposed to be the magic number.  Not for me, of course.  It took a bit longer, but the day I was heading to the paint store and, out of habit, parked at the gym (same parking lot, but totally different sides), I realized I finally had made a habit of going to the gym.  That was a great day.

 I agree with the other posts that if you are in a funky state of mind and need an adjustment in your thinking, by all means, do it.  And do it now.  With the exception of the decisions you make, you don't have to do any of this alone.

One of the things I've learned about weight control or exercise or other challenges that my brain is rebelling against is:  If you think you can't, then you must.   That's a quote from I'm not sure where, but similar to that is the loud voice I hear in my head after I hear myself say, I don't wanna, is If you don't WANT to, then you HAVE to.  That's the angel on one shoulder basically telling the guy on the other shoulder, Thanks for sharing, but shut up.  Follow through enough, and the bad guy loses his voice. 

Do what you need to do to get yourself in a healthy state.  Figure it out.  It's like a puzzle.  You'll crack the code, and learn a LOT about your strengths and weaknesses.

This is the kind of growth that takes forever, but it's an interesting path.  In the meantime, learn as much as you can about proper diet and proper exercise, and keep on doing it. 

I think everyone feels like that sometimes.  What helps me is making sure I have a goal and a schedule, and a timeline.

For instance, when I started running, doing it just because it's "good for you" just wasn't working - I found too many excuses not to do it 4x a week, even though I do enjoy it when I'm done.  So I decided on a "big" goal (marathon in April 2008), and I posted a schedule on the refrigerator, and I cross off the days as I do the mileage, and when I don't (rare) I feel SO guilty I try to make it up.  I've also told my DH that, whenever I say "I don't feel like running today ..." he's NOT to respond "you look fine, you don't have to go, do whatever you want, don't worry about it" - instead, he is to say "you know you'll feel better when you're done.  It's only "X" miles today!"  So he's stopped enabling my laziness! :)

If it's easier, you can also join a class (karate, spinning, whatever) since, if you pay for it, you may feel like you need to go (I am frugal, so once something's paid for, I can't see "wasting" it).

It takes 3 weeks to form a habit, so if I commit to an activity, way of eating, etc. for 3 weeks, I know there is a higher probability of it "sticking."  If, for instance, you just can't get yourself to work out, hire a trainer for 3 weeks.  If you can't seem to eat right, take a drastic step and throw out all the unhealthy food, get a healthy cookbook, don't carry cash at work for snacks/ unhealthy lunches, and get cracking.  If you don't have candy, soda and chips at home, when you're hungry, you'll have to cook something healthy!  Whatever it takes to keep on track.

Start small, if you need to, and add to it - tell yourself you will take a 15-minute walk BEFORE you plop down on the couch; that you'll drink a glass of water BEFORE you eat that extra serving; that you can have that piece of cake - on Saturday; that you'll take the elevator NEXT time, but this time you'll take the stairs ... that way your brain does not hear "NO!" and rebel; it hears "YES" ... and "later" may never come. (Learned this working with kids - if you say "maybe later" instead of "no", they may forget about it and it avoids an immediate tantrum).  Practice "mindful eating" and "mindful laziness" - that is, "allow" yourself to be lazy/splurge at pre-planned times, and you won't have to worry about doing it when it's time to work out/at every meal!

Good luck, and you CAN do this!  Sorry this is so long!

I heard 21 days to stop a bad habit. Who knows....

 

Thanks to everyone for your words of support! I'm trying as hard as i can not to give in. 

when i feel like being lazy and eating a lot, i do it. i just do it with the healthy foods i already have in the house. a couple of nights ago i binged...had two 100 calorie mini bags of kettle corn and ten pieces of dried fruit...about 360 calories. i could or should have had one bag of popcorn and five pieces of dried fruit, but i didn't! big deal! i was back on track the next day and still lost weight.

it was a much better choice than eating donuts and hot chocolate. i indulged my desires and didn't feel bad about it. my two cents.

Radink...I think we all have that duel personality! I really do believe that...some call it good/evil and other names I am sure. BUT...like coach said...it is up to you /us which one we let take over! I was like a carbon copy of you. For me..it took me to the age of 50 facing a medical emergency flat on my back in the floor and unable to get myself back up! It was like a divine slap up the side of my head to wake up or your gonna check out! That was 7months and 77 pounds ago! I have gone from a size 26 to an 18...from a couch potato (not kidding here...I couldn't walk down the street much less around the block) to walking 3-5 m a day and working various circuit routines and weight lifting and riding my bike again! I am not trying to blow my own horn here....but rather trying to let you see there is hope. And yes...it is a depression...a very real one....I went the doctor route...but the chemicals they had me ingesting were like poisons to me. Nothing has worked for me like proper diet and exercise! I am getting my life back and you can too! Is it easy? Absolutely not! I have to work VERY hard at it! I HAVE to choose veggies and not a greasy cheeseburger! I HAVE to walk/jog/lift instead of lay on the couch....but I am worth it and so are you! I just wish I hadn't let a lot of my life waste away in such an unhealthy manner. YOU CAN DO IT....take CONTROL of yourself...no one else can do it for you!Original Post by radink:

I feel like i have 2 sides to my personality. One side wants me to loose weight and be healthy so im around for my kids and so i can feel a lot better. The other side however fights against this motivation to sit and be lazy and eat alot. I feel like i can't win. Does anyone else go through this? It's not just for food/weight either. It's my whole life.

 

Believe me I've been there. And I know this sounds mean and terrible and I don't mean it to be that way, but my motto says it all. Grow a freakin' backbone. Like I said, I've been there and I wish somebody said that to me a long time ago. I know what it's like but you just have to decide you're going to change and then you DO it. Period. It's no secret. No tricks. You just gotta do it. BUT: I have to say that even though it's tough at first, the more weight you lose and the more you change your bad habits and live healthy, the easier it is to stick with it and stay healthy. But don't just take my word for it. DO it and you'll see. Good luck!

I started feeling that way when I got pregnant, and it got worse after I had baby boy, it turns out I had mild post natal depression, it makes you feel like you can't do anything. There is no shame in seeing a doctor, because if you do infact have depression it is n illness, and needs to be treated, and I FEEL SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER NOW!!!!

Original Post by radink:

Thanks for replying. I just feel like sometimes it's some sort of depression and that maybe i should go to the head doctor.

 If you think maybe you should, then you should. Depression is not something you can just will yourself to snap out of. 

I used to be the same with the lazy side winning out, but once I really committed to the whole healthy lifestyle thing the momentum got going. I agree with mctami, so give yourself enough time to get it going. I think one reason it's easy to be lazy is because the food we eat makes us so. When I was eating crap food I felt like crap and just wanted to sit around and be lazy. Now I eat really good food and feel really great too. There's got to be a connection :)

I have heard 40 days to make it a habit! Not sure about the 21 day thing, but if you can go 40 days with your healthy lifestyle program you've got it made!! Go for it, do it, you can do it, rah rah rah...