HELLO MISINFORMED TEENAGE GIRLS, may I have a moment?

Caps for emphasis.  Can't sleep until I get this off my chest.

To all of you 12-18 year old girls prancing around in your size 3 jeans sipping skinny cappuccinos, I have a quick life lesson for you.  First of all, you are NEVER going to be the size you were last year.  Ever.  Why?  Because you're growing.  You gained weight over these last 2-8 years because you're supposed to.  Yes, I understand you didn't grow taller.  That's because most girls stop growing taller between 10-14 years old.  However, you don't stop growing.  You gain bone density, your brain develops, you gain fat around your stomach, boobs, butt and thighs-- because your body is meant to hold a frickin' baby and you gotta protect things like that, they're kinda fragile.

The most common opener I see on the YCC is "I ate a lot (of junk) over the last _____ months, and I gained ____ pounds.  I just want to get back to where I was."  Bull.  ****.   In a very, very small amount of cases, this is true.  But more often than not, this is just you succumbing to media and peer pressure to stay in a 10-year-old child's body forever.  You're better than that.

I'll say it again.  You are better than that.  You have no excuse not to be amazing.  So do it.  Be fabulous and healthy and intelligent, because you have as much time in a day as Einstein, Gandhi, and Helen Keller, and you have so many more opportunities.

Yes, you did eat more than usual.  That's how kids grow.  They get hungry, they eat, and subsequently, they grow.  You can't avoid it, not healthily.  If you ever find yourself saying, "I can't lose on more than 1,500kcal/day.", meaning you can't lose while consuming a healthy amount of calories a day: it is because you are trying to do something unhealthy.  You are not some magical waifcreature who can subsist on Coke Zero alone, don't fool yourself into that delusion.

At 13, a 5'5 girl is probably done growing taller.  Let's say she weighs 105lbs, and is happy.  At 14, she gains 5lbs, and doesn't like it, she decides to diet.  So for the next 4 years, she makes herself stay at her believed "happy weight", 105lbs, because it was healthy and wonderful, remember?  Her metabolism is now damaged, because she's had to restrict her calories.  The bone density that is supposed to develop during those years of her life hasn't, because she wasn't consuming enough energy, and now she's got fragile bones for the rest of her life. [source]  The best part?  She's now at the 4.8 BMI national percentile [source]: anorexics are defined as members of the fifth percentile or below.  Welcome to the hospital.

Be accountable to yourself.  Be educated, responsible, and aware of yourself and your surroundings.  Don't let yourself fall victim to pressure from ANYONE, not your parents, not your fakey highschool friends, not those weird fashion magazines.  You are your own person, act like it.

Grow up.

Inb4 doctor suggested I lose: obviously not talking to you, am I?

I wish I coulda seen this when I was 11.. I was 100 pounds at 5'3", and for some reason thought I was too fat. 3 years later I was 10 pounds overweight, and 2 years after that, I was battling anorexia. /: This information could certainly be powerful!

Sorry that used your thread to respond to that person - when it was not related to your post.

This person has commented on what I have said before so it annoyed me.

Thanks a lot for understanding

I am glad I did not offend you!

There are influences all around us you know. Aside from some young people one this site.

That is mostly ignorance-  young ppl simply do not know about how their bodies grow and need higher weights.

 I remember other influences, such as  in an episode of sex and the city ages ago. They were at a party and one of them is like “ I feel like the only one over 100 pounds”.

I just think  “ oooooooooooooomg.   I am slim at MY weight,   and they are talking about models and ppl who are 6 feet and 100 lbs!!?

Honestly, I am very happy with my weight, but it is still annoying to hear about how some people would consider some one like myself to be “ undesirable” in weight.

Annoying because of the ridiculous standards some people try to live up to thereby reinforcing that ideal of perfection, and making others think it is the “ best” image (since so many try to force themselves to achieve it - it must be the best way to look etc)

I know it is normal for every 1 to have certain preferences, some guys just like skinny girls. No big deal.

But then there is that gross society, models and that industry, that have this really off/crazy attitude about any one who is NOT very very thin.



I hope the young people on this site do not simply view normal weight in such disgust.  If they want to remain their 12 year old weights for ever, I hope it is simply ignorance of nature, rather than a hatred of what a normal adult looks like.

thankyou for posting this lynnlette, I couldn't agree more!
I just hope that a lot of those girls get to see this before its too late

The problem is that they didn't come here for a lecture. Do you think a typical 13 year-old girl wanting to lose 5 lbs would read that wall of text?

It's going to keep happening as long as health-related misinformation keeps spreading like wildfire in the public consciousness. Youth is typically a time of mistakes, and don't think these girls are going to listen to some random angry forum poster. They won't. "You're not my mother", in one ear and out the other.

It's not that I don't appreciate people's stance on the issue, I just think efforts are somewhat futile.

Hi, just thought I'd let you know, I'm 14, female, 161cm (5'3"), 48.5 kg (approx. 106), and recovering from an ED. You just made me feel like a piece of sh-t. Sorry for the language. Thankyou for your lovely post.

No one can make you feel s**** without your consent.

Good advice...it shouldn't ruin your day or mood. If it does, it probably wasn't that great to begin with.

This is important info that many girls need to read....so that they do not develop EDs as well.

Thanks for this. ^_^

You're Awesome. A ray of hope in the triggering abyss that is the Young Calorie Counter Forum. It's nice to see someone else my age that isn't striving to be 110 pounds. They're so few of us. Thank you for making my day much better.

Thank you to everyone who's responded so pleasantly.  I'm glad you felt what I was aiming for. :)

personaltrainer87:  Everything's fine, no worries.

I agree, influences are everywhere.  I remember panicking when I was younger because I read a book about a teenage girl, who happened to keep a "food diary", and the two totals they listed were 600kcal/day.

Personally I believe that we all naturally know what weight we need to be at, how much we need to eat, and what we privately find attractive; it's only when we allow our culture to influence us that we get confused.

scaredoflonely: Good luck on your recovery.

ibez: I'm aware the likelihood of this post having an impact is slim, but you've gotta try, right?  If anything, this will appeal to adults who have had time to come to terms with the facts, and will prompt them to speak to individual teens in their own life.

Honestly, someone who's response to anything is "you're not my mother" needs to be slapped and put in the corner until they learn some critical thinking skills.  There's nothing I can do if the children on this site who haven't yet learned to think for themselves choose to listen to a fashion magazine instead of a doctor, other than say something and cross my fingers.

Original Post by lynnlette:There's nothing I can do if the children on this site who haven't yet learned to think for themselves choose to listen to a fashion magazine instead of a doctor, other than say something and cross my fingers.

I am so sick of ED's being about "fashion magazines" and all that crap. You'd think people on a website like this would know better. Just sayin.

I'm really not referring to eating disorders, with any of this.  Eating disorders are mental diseases, plain and simple.  I managed to flirt with one without subscribing to any influence of the fashion world, or the misinformation floating around in advertising.  I didn't starve and purge for a dress size, a highschool date, parental approval-- for anyone but myself.  When it comes down to it, I don't think anyone with a true eating disorder developed it because of isolated outside sources.  It's private, personal, and internal.

That being said, I also believe %99 of teenage girls are not aware of the fact they are supposed to gain weight, muscle bone and fat, as they get older.  This aversion to weight gain, to their body developing, is disastrous.  Overlooking the effect on their personal lives, this trend later fuels growth of corrupt corporations in the dieting industry, the repulsive modeling/fashion/advertising industry, and the production of processed foods.

I'm not looking down on and calling out those with a mental disorder, but rather, those that mimic it for all the wrong reasons, and have no comprehension of the consequences.

Thanks for taking the time to spell it out so clearly and firmly. I also noticed alot of posts recently from people who wanted to adopt really low calories diets to either maintain or attain a really low weight, who were young and meant to be growing/were very active. I find it worryING that so many people believe that they are 'meant' to be so tiny and in the underweight zone. I believe that only people who maintain lower weights on normal or high cals are 'meant to be slim'.

I am at a low weight and trying to gain (not from ED) and I alone find it quite discouraging to read these posts, so I can imagine it's sending a pretty bad message to people who have or are susceptable to EDs.

If I were to offer younger girls one piece of advice, it is to picture their lives in 10, 20, 30 ect years time and think what they want out of life: to have spent it all on a diet and never being happy with their bodies, to have placed calorie counting as a top priority instead of learning, socialising, playing sports and helping others, to have a slow metabolism and therefore be tired, weak and constantly cold? Or to have a loving family, decent job, hobbies, and ultimately a healthy, well looked after body!

Oh, gotcha...sorry

ntropyincarnate: No problem.

smash_uk: Exactly.  Thank you. :)

I agree with you I guess....There are a lot of teens who do not need to lose any weight trying to.

Just not sure if what you said would be aimed towards me at all in a negative fashion.  I'm 18, 5"1 and I weight about 130.  I want to be at around 110.

Or after I start working out(in about two or three weeks after giving some time to adjust to my new diet and after exams) I'd like to be a size 6 like I used to be(currently a size 10).  Muscle weighs more than fat, so once I start working out I think I'll be less concerned on weight and more concerned on pants sizes.

Weight issues are kind of just part of being a teen nowadays.  It's unfortunate but, true.

Original Post by scaredoflonely:

Hi, just thought I'd let you know, I'm 14, female, 161cm (5'3"), 48.5 kg (approx. 106), and recovering from an ED. You just made me feel like a piece of sh-t. Sorry for the language. Thankyou for your lovely post.

 With all due respect hun, i dont think that was her intent. Im 20 and just finally getting out of the woods with ed's so i can totally see your point of view, but i gathered from lynnlettes post was that there are so many on here who seem to be promoting poor body image. Even I get frustrated when I see young people wanting to be underweight just because i hate that they would feel the need to strive for such dangerous goals like i did. Keep going with the recovery, youve still got your teen years left so dont throw them away. Best of luck.

I just wish most girls knew better before it was too late. Thanks for posting this lynnlette. It really needed to be said.

At 18yo, 5'1, and 110lbs, you'd be right near the 50th percentile for your age and height.  That's not at all the type of thing I'm addressing, especially if you're doing it healthily, and understand that weight is nothing to be afraid of.

Personally, I can't write it off as "part of being a teen".  It's not okay.

grace: Thanks. :)

Okay.  I should clarify what I meant xD.  I meant being uncomfortable about your body is apart of being a teen.  I don't think that makes it okay to try to change your body by unhealthy means.  Me = not good at speaking clearly sometimes xD.

FANTASTIC POST.

FANTIASTIC!

scaredoflonely, stop being a drama queen. nothin she said was directed at you so get over yourself. and BTW you are not maintaining a weight of 106 because you're a magical waif. you're doing so because you eat less than 1000 cals a day.

ravenway: Ah, I understand, then. :)

fidget84: Thank you! 

I understand where you're coming from, but comments like that are usually better suited to PMs. :)