HELLO MISINFORMED TEENAGE GIRLS, may I have a moment?

Caps for emphasis.  Can't sleep until I get this off my chest.

To all of you 12-18 year old girls prancing around in your size 3 jeans sipping skinny cappuccinos, I have a quick life lesson for you.  First of all, you are NEVER going to be the size you were last year.  Ever.  Why?  Because you're growing.  You gained weight over these last 2-8 years because you're supposed to.  Yes, I understand you didn't grow taller.  That's because most girls stop growing taller between 10-14 years old.  However, you don't stop growing.  You gain bone density, your brain develops, you gain fat around your stomach, boobs, butt and thighs-- because your body is meant to hold a frickin' baby and you gotta protect things like that, they're kinda fragile.

The most common opener I see on the YCC is "I ate a lot (of junk) over the last _____ months, and I gained ____ pounds.  I just want to get back to where I was."  Bull.  ****.   In a very, very small amount of cases, this is true.  But more often than not, this is just you succumbing to media and peer pressure to stay in a 10-year-old child's body forever.  You're better than that.

I'll say it again.  You are better than that.  You have no excuse not to be amazing.  So do it.  Be fabulous and healthy and intelligent, because you have as much time in a day as Einstein, Gandhi, and Helen Keller, and you have so many more opportunities.

Yes, you did eat more than usual.  That's how kids grow.  They get hungry, they eat, and subsequently, they grow.  You can't avoid it, not healthily.  If you ever find yourself saying, "I can't lose on more than 1,500kcal/day.", meaning you can't lose while consuming a healthy amount of calories a day: it is because you are trying to do something unhealthy.  You are not some magical waifcreature who can subsist on Coke Zero alone, don't fool yourself into that delusion.

At 13, a 5'5 girl is probably done growing taller.  Let's say she weighs 105lbs, and is happy.  At 14, she gains 5lbs, and doesn't like it, she decides to diet.  So for the next 4 years, she makes herself stay at her believed "happy weight", 105lbs, because it was healthy and wonderful, remember?  Her metabolism is now damaged, because she's had to restrict her calories.  The bone density that is supposed to develop during those years of her life hasn't, because she wasn't consuming enough energy, and now she's got fragile bones for the rest of her life. [source]  The best part?  She's now at the 4.8 BMI national percentile [source]: anorexics are defined as members of the fifth percentile or below.  Welcome to the hospital.

Be accountable to yourself.  Be educated, responsible, and aware of yourself and your surroundings.  Don't let yourself fall victim to pressure from ANYONE, not your parents, not your fakey highschool friends, not those weird fashion magazines.  You are your own person, act like it.

Grow up.

Inb4 doctor suggested I lose: obviously not talking to you, am I?

Yeah, of course no one feels fat at 105.

they feel fat pushing 130 and 5'5-like me!

Original Post by crazyperson01:

Yeah, of course no one feels fat at 105.

they feel fat pushing 130 and 5'5-like me!

Really?  I'm barely more than an inch taller than you, and 130 is my goal weight.  Huh.

I couldn't agree more. When I was a teen I always felt huge. I've been 6ft tall since I was 14 or 15 and all my friends were like 5'3" - 5'5" and smallish. At 6ft tall, I thought I was supposed to be thinner like the models. I was thin and athletic, but not model thin. I felt huge when I wasn't. I didn't have any EDs but I it was depressing! But whatever.

I'm just glad to see this. It's so true and so many girls need to hear it.

I kind of agree with what you are saying but what if you thought you were just right (weight wise) and two doctors, both in two different countries, tell you you are overweight by 12 kilos. Then what?

I had self confidence and I felt great till they said that. It wasn't even peer pressure. So now, I not only feel awful all the time, but I'm killing myself trying to drop to the weight they told me I'm supposed to be. (I'm 17, 5'7'' @ 82 kgs. I'm supposed to be between 62-67 kgs)

Then I started noticing my friends poking fun at my weight too and they had always told me I looked just right. Not too fat not too skinny. What do you do then? Would you call it peer pressure?

And all this started when I was 15, by the way. God, I feel like ****. (And this has nothing to do with wanting to look like a model. I just want to look normal)

In the two years between the time I was 12 and now (14 yrs old), my BMI went from 89.3 percentile to 66.3 percentile. I wasn't really overweight then - I was an early bloomer and never had a "child's" skinny body and superfast metabolism. Now I'm a little higher than average weight for height/age...and I have stunted growth patterns and lost my period.

What's my point? I guess I want to say that I'd never want to be my 12-year-old weight again. Cause I feel and look much better now, despite my amenorrhea. And let me say it's impossible to feel "perfectly fine" when you're in a school full of girls with teenage metabolisms and tiny waists who eat twice as much as you do. Especially when you're 66th percentile.

avygyaru: Thanks.

prirox:  In my opinion, you create your own reality. You were happy before, and maybe you are overweight, so it is good you're losing weight, but not if it makes you miserable.  Everyone's body has their own comfort zone, and for some people, it is 10-15lbs higher than the "average".  If you're extremely active and have significant muscle mass, then you are expected to be above the prescribed range.

Right now, a healthy weight for someone your height and weight is between 117lbs and 161lbs (1lbs = ~2.204kgs).  Once you're eighteen, this healthy weight range changes to 119-164lbs.  Once you're twenty, it changes to 121-169lbs. Point being, if you just relax, identify with your body and yourself, and lose 15lbs (6.8kgs) over the next year, you'll be at a healthy weight by the time you're done.  It doesn't need to cause stress, or anxiety, it certainly doesn't need to provoke responses from friends.  An active lifestyle and healthy diet should be all you need to be healthy.  The numbers just breed obsession, and times for you to sigh and say "God, I feel like ****."

bundt_royal: If you're fourteen and have both stunted your growth (confirmed by your family practitioner or specialist) and have lost your period, you are ignoring serious signs that there's a problem.  See your doctor.

If it really is impossible for you to feel comfortable in your school-- though I believe you could if you tried hard enough-- just pull yourself out.  Schools have never done a damn thing for anyone I know, and the most intelligent people I've met dropped out and did what they needed to do to educate and certify themselves (most with diplomas, though there are a few GED-holders), outside of the school environment.  It is a horrible, stressful place that doesn't lend itself to learning at all, and if you're tired of it, just stop going, stop supporting it.  Put your efforts into something that'll actually help you, both now and in the future.

There's no room for victims in this world.  Stand up and make changes in your life, don't just lie down and starve yourself sick so you can become part of the problem.

wow.

i dont think obamas speech was even as good as this one.

i will link my skinny friends to this page if they think they are fat again (;

quick question: how do you lose the stomach fat?  im 114 & 5'5, know im skinny, i just wanna tone my body up :)  like when i walk, it jiggles, but i can do as many crunches as the guy with a six pack in my conditioning class. and my butt and thighs like when i sit, go out, not up like when muscle does.  i want them to be like not muscly, but firm i guess?  that would be cool.

any suggestions or is this the wrong post to talk about this?

Thanks. :)

You didn't mention your age, so I'm going to assume you're eighteen.

At your height and weight your BMI is 19, a healthy BMI for adults with average bone structure is 20-25.  So you definitely don't want to lose more weight.  If you're active and eat well, you shouldn't have a problem.  Bodies move fluidly, it's what makes us not robots, y'know?  If you're really wanting a hard body, add in more strength training, and eat a calorie surplus so you put on muscle.

Keep in mind even extremely muscled women (fitness model type) still "wiggle" a bit when they walk, or have creases in the flesh of their stomach when they sit.  Look at these two images of women that are indisputably exceptionally muscled: [link], [link], [link, sexual themes warning].  When muscles aren't tense, flesh is soft, and flexible.

Your body, especially areas like your breasts, thighs, hips, and stomach, are always gonna have a bit of give.  How much depends on you.  Be healthy, active, and happy.

If you can do as many sit-ups as a male with a defined six pack, you're probably one of the 98% of women with a deposit of necessary fatty tissue over her lower stomach.  Fight it if you'd like, but personally I believe in fighting other things.

This really, really annoyed the crap out of me.

My favorite part about this rant is that you picked a young group of women, chose something they already feel ridiculed about ( their appearance) and jumped on the freaking bandwagon by berating them, making them look shallow, calling the uneducated, etc. 

Young women with eating disorders aren't "idiots" they aren't "morons", they are young, ambitious, prone to critical self talk and full of potential. Calling them "stupid" only makes you look like a moron and makes them feel worse.

So stuff a sock in it. You may think your line of thinking is "revolutionary" but it's really just shouting the same line these girls have heard over and over... "you just aren't good enough"

Original Post by adrianna20player:

This really, really annoyed the crap out of me.

 

My favorite part about this rant is that you picked a young group of women, chose something they already feel ridiculed about ( their appearance) and jumped on the freaking bandwagon by berating them, making them look shallow, calling the uneducated, etc. 

Young women with eating disorders aren't "idiots" they aren't "morons", they are young, ambitious, prone to critical self talk and full of potential. Calling them "stupid" only makes you look like a moron and makes them feel worse.

So stuff a sock in it. You may think your line of thinking is "revolutionary" but it's really just shouting the same line these girls have heard over and over... "you just aren't good enough"

 Finally, some intelligence on this post.

I feel the same way going through some of the threads. Glad others are really bothered by it as well. It's really more disturbing for those, myself included, recovring from ED. I think 99% of us are on CC to do weight loss/maintenance the healthy way. The other 1% just need a push to see that there is a real educational purpose of the site instead of continuing their pro ana-mia ways.

Original Post by adrianna20player:

This really, really annoyed the crap out of me.

 

My favorite part about this rant is that you picked a young group of women, chose something they already feel ridiculed about ( their appearance) and jumped on the freaking bandwagon by berating them, making them look shallow, calling the uneducated, etc. 

Young women with eating disorders aren't "idiots" they aren't "morons", they are young, ambitious, prone to critical self talk and full of potential. Calling them "stupid" only makes you look like a moron and makes them feel worse.

So stuff a sock in it. You may think your line of thinking is "revolutionary" but it's really just shouting the same line these girls have heard over and over... "you just aren't good enough"

someone already said what u said and she explained further what her intentions were by the original post, look it up so no one has to explain it again, , i think it was page 2 of comments.

I couldn't give two **** about what her "intentions" were. I don't care if she (and some of you) think she is justified in coming in here and blowing her top about something that 1) doesn't really concern her and 2) she's clearly ill informed about.

What I care about, as both a woman and a member of the health community, is the WAVES of negativity young ladies are getting sent about their bodies, their minds, their lifestyle choices, their choices about food, etc. 

Teen girls are no good. Right? They are dumb and "uneducated" and irresponsible. Right? I mean, that's what every one says. Must be true. 

Well I say ****. Complete BS. I've met young women in the 12-18 set who are intelligent and educated, motivated and inspired. Some fall through the cracks, but most, and I say MOST of these teens are young women who I can say I'm proud to have known. 

These girls are not failures for feeling bad for eating brownies. The community has FAILED them. We have sent them so many negative images about their bodies and minds that they've resorted to negative self-talk and starvation/over eating to leap the wall we've set between reality and the reality we force upon them. WE, and I say WE THE COMMUNITY have FAILED them in every way, shape, and possible form. We've berated them for being too skinny, too fat, too ambitious, too idealistic, too young, too stupid...

You can not blame CHILDREN (12-18) for these failings. THE COMMUNITY HAS SAT IDLY BY AND FORCED FAILURE UPON THEM. 

So no. I do not give a flying frick what the OP's intent was. I care about the young girls who will be DEEPLY affected by reading it. 

Well!  Who'd have thought reading comprehension would've been the death of this post?

Let me reiterate.

I don't think teenagers who eat brownies are stupid.  I think teenagers who eat brownies then contemplate puking it back up because "that's what all the models do" are stupid.  They've allowed themselves to become sheep, and no, it's not excusable because they're young.  I'm disgusted by the willingness, at an age that should see girls finding themselves and stepping into adulthood, to subscribe to false media claims, peer pressure, and the belief that if school doesn't hand it to them it doesn't need to be done.

Do I think all teenage girls are irresponsible, uneducated, and feigning weakness?  No.  But a significant percentage of them are, and it is no one's fault but their own.

The fact is that personal responsibility is no longer expected.  Children are raised with a hand-fed an education, micromanaged in an office or factory job.  They don't have to evaluate their choices and make decisions, because adults tell them, "the community has failed you, you're screwing up because we're sending you negative images about your body."  It's not acceptable.  I've been berated alongside the rest of girls my age, why wouldn't I be?  The difference is that I don't keep going back.  I don't read and therefore support fashion magazines, I don't go to school (or didn't, I've started college, now) and wade through the hormonal judgements, I don't follow the bull**** that's out there.

I don't blame anyone but myself for the time I spent with my fingers down my throat.  The only person who can control my actions, my thoughts, is me.  If everyone could come to understand this, there'd be a lot less negativity directed towards teenage girls.  You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.  Take away the market, the supply dies.

That said, I have stated multiple times that I am directing this towards healthy, albeit misguided girls, who do not have an eating disorder and probably never will: as long as they have the presence of mind to realize they are all they need to be, and have no need to continue living life in the shadow of a size-0 obsession.

adrianna20player: i agree with you.

And, OP, you can't blame fashion magazines for body image problems.

then stop getting upset if you dont care what she has to say, you know the diff. between people who promote ED and people who are victim to it and so does everyone else here, we live in america and people can say whatever the **** they want, so while you have the abilty to argue most people "give a flying frick" if they use the energy to type. You never going to agree and she is never going to agree and do you want to know why? Cuz your different people, oh imagine that. So while we all (i include myself) are sitting on our butts typeing hate messages we could be jogging:)

Original Post by glitteroverdose:

adrianna20player: i agree with you.

 

And, OP, you can't blame fashion magazines for body image problems.

I never blamed fashion magazines, I blamed the people who take their word as law.  I've been repeating and repeating: "You are the cause and creator of everything in your life, shut up and be amazing."  Jeez.

Haha, I say that you're all skinny.  Seriously.  If y'all want to feel better about yourselves, look at me.  5'8" and 245 lbs.  Seesh.  At least it's not as bad as the 261 I started at.  I'm looking to get down to 160-170. =)

"You're better than that. I'll say it again.  You are better than that.  You have no excuse not to be amazing.  So do it.  Be fabulous and healthy and intelligent, because you have as much time in a day as Einstein, Gandhi, and Helen Keller, and you have so many more opportunities."

"Be accountable to yourself.  Be educated, responsible, and aware of yourself and your surroundings.  Don't let yourself fall victim to pressure from ANYONE, not your parents, not your fakey highschool friends, not those weird fashion magazines.  You are your own person, act like it."

I just picked some things I thought were good. I thought you said everything well. It seemed like a "tough love" kind of passage to me. You aren't knocking these girls, you're just letting them know that they can (and so should) hold themselves to a higher standard. I think it needs to be said. If no one says "Hey, the bar is here" then people will just sort of sneak out of ever trying to reach it. I personally think what you said needed to be said.

   I completely agree with Misty.  I know it's tough, but we need to be responsible for ourselve.  Whining and saying it's not your fault because you were "influenced," or that you have low self esteem and are teased is not a good answer.  I've felt enferior my whole life pretty much; I am obviously overweight, but instead of binging, anorexia or bulemia I am stepping it up and dealing with it the hard way.  I got myself in this mess, and it's noone's fault but my own.